12 Mindfulness Lessons Listened to at Tsinghua University

Chapter 2 Pain and Pleasure (1)
1.Suffering is tonic

Adversity and hardship are the highest school for tempering one's character.

——Liang Qichao (famous modern writer, thinker, political activist, one of the four mentors of Tsinghua University)

Sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, and salty are the five flavors of life, with bitterness accounting for one of them.But "the south is sweet and the north is salty, the east is spicy and the west is sour", but there is no place that likes to suffer.Not only do they not like it, but people also have a special aversion to suffering.For this, someone specially made up a brain teaser - what is the least favorite thing for people to eat?bitter.

Human beings are creatures that are best at seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages, and suffering is undoubtedly one of the great harms.But the question is, if we don't like suffering, won't suffering be with us?If we want to avoid suffering, will suffering let us go?

Life is bound to suffer.Suffering is like a bridesmaid in life. Unless you are not born, you must suffer and suffer.Because of this, some people simply call life a bitter journey.

In fact, life is not necessarily a bitter journey.Bitterness is only one-fifth of the five flavors of life. We are happy when we eat sweetness, and we can barely accept salty, spicy, and sour tastes. The only thing we don’t agree with is bitterness. This is not a matter of bitterness, but a problem with our psychology.And psychological problems are undoubtedly very bitter, so not recognizing suffering is tantamount to asking for trouble.

What human beings have done for thousands of years is nothing more than two things-to escape bitterness and pursue sweetness.Everyone likes to eat sweetness, no matter how sweet it is, no one is too sweet; no one likes to eat bitterness, no amount of bitterness is bitter.If it is not for the sake of "thinking about sweetness", people would not even want to "remember bitterness".

In fact, eating too much of anything will make you greasy, and sweetness is no exception.And bitterness is a necessary adjustment element of life. Without bitterness, how can sweetness be manifested?

As any parent knows, when children take bitter medicine, they spit it out.Of course some adults do too.This is human nature.However, life is a five-flavor bottle. From the moment we are born, the five-flavor bottle will be broken. It does not make sense to eat only sweetness and not bitterness.Therefore, a wise person not only will not refuse to suffer, but will also take pleasure in suffering, and find some suffering if there is no suffering.

Goujian, the King of Yue in the Spring and Autumn and Warring States Periods, is undoubtedly the most hard-working star in Chinese history.Back in the day, to wash away the shame of defeat, he put the brocade couch instead of sleeping on firewood piles, and put delicious food instead of eating brown rice. He even ordered someone to find a pig gall and hung it in the living room. I have to taste it before, and after I taste it, I ask myself aloud: "Goujian, have you forgotten the shame of defeat?" Then he replied decently: "No, I haven't forgotten!" He worked hard, endured hardships, and finally defeated Wu Guo, but after that, he never slept on firewood, ate brown rice, or tasted gall.Because there is no need.Suffering is for pleasure, if suffering can't be exchanged for pleasure, then what's the point of suffering?
This kind of concept is not clever at all, but it has a market among the masses.There is an old saying: Only by suffering and suffering can one become a master.The so-called superior person, in simple terms, is a successful person who stands out from the crowd. Naturally, such people don't have to suffer anymore.If someone is still suffering after being successful, it is by no means humiliating himself, but for greater success.

So what kind of concept can be called brilliant?

It's simple, enjoy suffering.

Jia Dao, a bitter poet in the Tang Dynasty, can be regarded as a representative figure in this regard.According to historical records, once, when Jia Dao was riding a donkey on the road, he suddenly became very poetic on the donkey's back, and got two good lines: "The autumn wind blows the Wei River, and the fallen leaves are all over Chang'an." Comparing gestures and strokes, I began to ponder the whole poem.But the little donkey lost control and moved forward, accidentally colliding with the guard of honor of Liu Qichu, the mayor of Chang'an at the time.When the unqualified Master Liu got angry, he sent Jia Dao to the prison and locked him up all night.But when he was released from prison the next day, Jia Dao was happy instead.why?Because he was not idle in prison, he revised the poem many times, and finally reached the point of being passed down in history.This poem is the famous "Reminiscence of Wu Chushi on the River":
When the country of Fujian went sailing, Toad recovered.

The autumn breeze blows the Wei River, and the fallen leaves are full of Chang'an.

On the eve of the party that night, it was rainy and cold.

Lan Luoshu did not return, the news is over the sea.

More famous than this poem is the poem titled Li Ning's Secluded Residence.At that time, Jia Dao was also riding a donkey on the road, and began to write poems as he walked, and got two lines: "The bird lives in the tree by the pond, and the monk knocks on the door under the moon".After reading a few words to myself, I felt that the word "knock" in the second sentence should be replaced by the word "push". After thinking about it again, I felt that "knock" was better than "knock". The way of pushing and knocking.The little donkey lost control again and ran into the guard of honor of the great writer Han Yu.Fortunately, Han Yu is not only educated, but also talented, so he didn't argue with him, and helped him decide that it is better to use the word "knock".

In the eyes of people who don't understand poetry and don't love poetry, racking their brains for a broken word in a bad poem, like a crazy person, and even went to jail for it, it's nothing to do.But in the poet's eyes, this is not just a bad poem or a broken word, but where his soul lies.This process looks bitter and boring to others, but it is a great impulse and burning to the poet. Once it reaches the burning point, it will feel extremely excited and sweet, and this kind of sweetness cannot be bought with money.

Let me tell you a little personal story: I learned guitar playing for a period of time when I was young. At that time, I admired those guitar teachers very much. When I moved my hands, wonderful music came out. , I can also be called a famous teacher.I once asked a teacher who looked quite like an artist: How much tuition will I have to pay you if I want to practice to your level!As a result, the other party immediately showed a look of contempt and said, "No matter how much money you give me, I can't achieve it. This is a hand-crafted skill. You have to endure hardships and go home to practice by yourself! I don't know how to teach exercises. The kung fu in your hands is passed on to you! Remember, young man, you have to suffer in everything you do!"

Now that I think about it, it is true.Liang Qichao, who is known as one of the four mentors of Tsinghua University, said: "Adversity and hardship are the highest school for tempering personality." In fact, suffering is not as simple as tempering personality, but also the engine of success.Suffering is tonic.It is often said: 360 lines, every line leads to the champion.But there is only one champion, and it is not so easy to be the champion in any line.If you want to stand out from the plethora of potential champions, you have to have your own unique skills.Any unique skill can only be obtained through hard training.Some highly difficult unique skills, such as certain martial arts and acrobatics, can only be mastered after more than ten or decades of uninterrupted practice.When we read martial arts novels, it is often said that it takes decades for a certain magical skill to reach the ninth level. Although there are exaggerations, there is no problem in theory.

Of course, we can't talk about success, champion, etc. at every turn.If you don't understand the true meaning of success, success is the most harmful thing in the world.But even if you just want to live a mediocre life, suffering must be indispensable.At home and outside, big and small things, heaven and earth, firewood, rice, oil and salt, as long as you are still alive and numb, the suffering will never end.Therefore, we must not only recognize and accept the bitterness of life, but also learn to taste some sweetness from the bitterness.It can be said that if you can taste sweetness from bitterness, you will understand life.

It takes hard work and perseverance to taste success from bitterness.To taste sweetness from bitterness requires realm.

2.The extreme of pain is pleasure
The finest gems are the ones that have been honed the longest by the craftsman.The most precious carvings are the ones most hit by chiseling.

——Pan Guangdan (one of the four great philosophers of Tsinghua University)

Life is bound to suffer, and pain is inevitable.

So, isn't pain and suffering the same thing?Yes and no.

Strictly speaking, mental illness is called suffering, and physical illness is called pain.

Having said that, whether it is pain or suffering, they are all things that are not welcome, so there is no essential difference.

There is a cruel philosophic saying very well: If you don't want to suffer setbacks, unless you die young.The weather is unpredictable, and the train of life is moving forward. No matter how many blessings we take on the road, it may turn over the track at any time.For those unexpected pains, no one can find a second way to go except to accept it—unless he wants to go to a dead end.

As I said before, suffering is tonic, so what about pain?Naturally, it is not without benefits.

Pain can sometimes mean hope.A very simple truth: in the hospital, if a seriously injured patient can still feel pain in the affected part, the doctor will congratulate him!He still has treatment!Because the pain means that the flesh and blood of the diseased part are still alive!Only when blood vessels and nerves are alive can the body feel pain.Only a painful body has the possibility of healing.

Pain sometimes means giving.Mencius said: "Shun was raised among the farms, Fu Yue was held among the boards, Jiao Ke was held among the fish and salt, Guan Yiwu was held among the scholars, Sun Shu'ao was held in the sea, Baili Xi was held in the market..." Shakespeare He also said: "Northern winds shape northerners." Whether it is northern China or northern Europe, the climate and environment are worse than those in the south, and life is naturally not as moist as southerners, but life is fair. The wind has also shaped the positive, optimistic, rough and heroic character of the northerners.This is the quality of a successful person, but there were many emperors and generals in ancient northern China, while Northern Europe was the birthplace of pirates.

Of course, what Shakespeare said is not always the case. In China alone, we can give many counterexamples.For example, Mr. Pan Guangdan, the late professor of Tsinghua University, his hometown is located in Baoshan County, Jiangsu Province. Baoshan is located in the northern suburbs of Shanghai.

Professor Pan has a nickname called "The Lone Traveler", which is really a sad nickname, because Professor Pan was fond of sports when he was studying at Tsinghua University, and accidentally injured his leg during an exercise. Due to the lack of medical conditions at that time, it caused Mycobacterium tuberculosis invaded the affected area, causing tragedy. In the end, I had to amputate my right leg, which delayed my graduation.Once, he asked Yan Heling, the acting principal at the time: "I only have one leg, can I go abroad (study abroad)?" Yan Heling replied: "I'm afraid it's inappropriate! Americans will think that Chinese people don't have enough legs. The ones are also delivered!" Pan Guangdan was very unconvinced.Star, an American female teacher of traditional Chinese painting, was also very unconvinced. She stood up to speak for Pan Guangdan: "Pan Guangdan can't go abroad? Then who else in Tsinghua University can go abroad?!"

When he arrived in the United States, Pan Guangdan first transferred to Damau University to study in the third grade. After one semester, the dean of the school told him: "I'm sorry, you should be in the fourth grade." Pan Guangdan's learning ability is evident.Since then, he has been extensively involved in exposition in the United States, learning everything.Most people spend their summer vacations traveling, and those who are not well-off go out to do odd jobs to subsidize their living. Although Pan Guangdan is not well-off, he would rather suffer from the hardships of food and clothing, and study as usual, and finally achieved outstanding achievements in eugenics and other fields. Achievement.And the process of achieving these achievements, as he himself said: "The most exquisite gems have been honed by craftsmen for the longest time. The most expensive carvings have been hit the most by chiseling."

Anyone with a little bit of realm knows that compared with the soul, the body is just a stinky skin.As long as a person has no problem in his heart, a little physical feeling is nothing.But the body is also the entry stage of the soul. "The sharp edge of the sword comes from sharpening, and the fragrance of plum blossoms comes from the bitter cold." Successful people throughout the ages, in order to polish themselves into the most exquisite gems, are mostly ruthless characters who dare to wield knives and chisel at themselves.Because they understand, either self-revolution, or be revolutionized by others; if you want to be less tortured, you must first torture yourself; if the storm must come, let it come more violently; be strong enough.Because life stabs us time and time again because we are not strong enough, at least not strong enough.

Su Qin, a native of the Warring States Period, grew up in a poor family and couldn't even afford to read books.For several years, he has learned a lot of economics by virtue of his hard work and frugality.Later, he left his hometown and went to Qi State to worship Guiguzi as his teacher to learn the art of vertical and horizontal.A year later, Su Qin thought that he had learned all the skills of the teacher, so he couldn't wait to say goodbye to the teacher and go to the world.At first, he tried to open up the situation from Zhou Tianzi, but because no one introduced him, he sold his family property in a fit of anger, and went to various vassal states to find a way out.But after running around for several years, the money ran out, and even life became a problem, and no one recognized him.

The impoverished Su Qin had no choice but to go home.When he got home, his wife saw that he was worse than a beggar, she shook her head and sighed, and didn't even put down the loom; the sister-in-law turned away when she saw him, and didn't even cook for him; parents, brothers, and sisters ignored him, Still teasing him behind his back!
Su Qin was very sad.He closed the door of the room, unwilling to see anyone, and made a deep reflection on himself: "Wife ignores her husband, sister-in-law does not recognize her brother-in-law, parents do not recognize her son, brothers and sisters do not recognize her elder brother, it is all because I do not live up to expectations. I didn’t study hard.” After that, he studied furiously, and read late into the night every day, sometimes fell asleep on the desk while reading, and regretted it after waking up, but at that time there was no such thing as cool oil, and he also wanted to There is no good way to keep myself from falling asleep.One day, Su Qin fell down on the desk involuntarily due to sleepiness, but he woke up suddenly—it turned out that there was an awl on the desk, which happened to pierce his arm.Su Qin immediately came up with a way to get out of trouble: prick his thigh with an awl!From then on, whenever drowsiness struck, he would pierce his thigh with an awl to wake himself up while relieving sleepiness.

Seeing him like this, his family couldn't bear it, so they persuaded him: "We understand your determination and mood to succeed, but there is no need to abuse yourself!"

Su Qin replied: "If I don't, I will forget the shame of the past!"

After a year like this, Su Qin's knowledge has improved to a higher level.He ventured into the world again, just as King Yanzhao recruited wise men from all over the world, so Su Qin entered Yan and embarked on his own smooth political path.At the most glorious time, he wore the seals of Yan, Qi, Chu, Han, Zhao, and Wei on his body, which frightened the powerful Qin State for more than ten years and did not dare to look east.

Just like many people now like to ask some big money and millionaires about the secrets of getting rich, after Su Qin became successful, some people also asked him about the way to success.Su Qin's answer was: "If I had two acres of Susukida in Luoyang City, then I would definitely not wear the seal of the Six Kingdoms today!"

In a word, the extreme of pain is pleasure.All unpleasant things are actually gifts from God.Just because this gift always comes in a way we don't like, few people can recognize it, recognize it, and make the necessary efforts for it, and it becomes the watershed between excellence and mediocrity.

3.There is a kind of suffering called self-binding

Sun Wukong's greatest wish is to become a fairy one day and get rid of the curse.The magic spell of Monkey King was recited by Tang Seng, in order to restrain this rebellious apprentice.However, many people in their lives unknowingly recite magic spells to themselves and bind themselves.

——Ye Zhou (famous writer and scholar, once gave a speech at Tsinghua University)

There are two famous koans in Zen Buddhism, one is "peace of mind" and the other is "removal of bondage".

It is said that during the Southern and Northern Dynasties, Bodhidharma, the founder of Zen Buddhism, sailed to China from West Tianzhu (in present-day India). He first went to the Southern Dynasties to meet Emperor Wu of Liang who was a good Buddha. Quietly understand Buddhism.As the news spread, a monk named Shen Guang came here admiringly and asked to see him sooner or later, but Bodhidharma just ignored him.

One night, there was a heavy snowfall on the mountain, but Shenguang did not avoid the snow and stood outside the cave where Bodhidharma practiced all night, which finally moved Bodhidharma.Bodhidharma asked him: "You have been standing in the snow, do you have any wish?"

Shen Guang said: "I hope Master will open the door of nectar, save all living beings, and teach me Buddhism!"

Bodhidharma said: "Seeking the Tao is not an easy task. The eminent monks of Buddhism spent infinite time and paid a huge price to seek the highest truth. Why do you seek the Tao?"

After Shen Guang heard this, he immediately drew out his Jie Dao and cut off one of his own arms.Seeing his courage and perseverance, Bodhidharma was very moved. He immediately accepted him as a disciple and gave him the name "Huike". Huike is the second ancestor of Zen Buddhism.

One day, Huike said to Bodhidharma: "My disciple's heart is always confused and at a loss. Please, Master, be at ease for me!"

Bodhidharma said, "Okay, take your heart out, and I'll be at ease for you!"

Hui Ke said, "How can I show my heart?"

Bodhidharma smiled and said, "I've put my heart at ease for you."

A few years later, Bodhidharma and Huike passed on to Nirvana successively, and the mantle of Zen was passed on to the third patriarch Sengcan.One day, Daoxin (later the Fourth Patriarch), who was still a young novice at that time, asked him for advice: "I hope Master will be merciful and teach me the way of liberation."

Sengcan asked him, "Liberation? Who bound you?"

Daoxin was taken aback for a moment, and then said, "No one tied me up."

The Third Patriarch asked again: "Since no one is binding you, how can you be free?"

Daoxin was enlightened when he heard the words.

These two short stories tell us that most of our so-called pain and troubles are self-inflicted.Although life is inevitable without pain and trouble, if you don't take it seriously, it doesn't matter.On the contrary, the more you care about it, the more it will torture you.

When I say this, I don't mean to make people live heartlessly.For pain, we can't ignore it, we can't whitewash it, but we should face it and go beyond it.

Whatever you care about is what you suffer.We often hear some women shouting hysterically: "Men don't care about me! Don't love me!" In fact, it may not be that men don't care about her, and love may not need to be expressed, but that she cares too much about herself.If caring is a kind of cocoon, she has wrapped herself tightly.Besides the so-called love, she didn't know what else to pursue and what to care about.

People must learn to detach themselves, including love.Many people can't figure out a question: Why are monks and Taoist priests often extraordinary?One very important reason is that they became monks, freed from the troubles of mundane affairs, especially love.An ordinary person who faces food, rice, oil, salt, wives and children, work and housing loans, rivals and enemies every day is naturally not as chic as those outsiders who accompany Qingshan Baiyun in reciting poems and verses.

Of course we have to face reality.Everyone becomes a monk, firstly, human beings will become extinct, and secondly, there are not so many temples to accommodate them, right?We have to learn to be detached in real life.Pain is the basis of detachment.If there is no pain, how can there be detachment?

(End of this chapter)