12 Mindfulness Lessons Listened to at Tsinghua University

Chapter 22 Money and Love (1)
1.Wanting is suffering, wanting nothing is happiness
"Not getting what you want" is the greatest suffering in life.If you stop seeking in life, most of the suffering will disappear.This not to ask is not to do nothing every day, but to not ask for anything in return when we give.Why?That is what we should do.

——Cai Lixu (Founder of "Haikou Xiaolian Chinese Studies Enlightenment Center", once delivered a speech at Tsinghua University)
Always say that others are not new, talk about my wife.

Ten years ago, we were just married, and she said, "If you can earn [-] yuan a month, we will be fine." So, I worked hard and worked hard, and finally earned [-] yuan a month.But before she spent the thousand and five dollars, her standards were raised: If you can earn more, I can organize our lives better!The standard was immediately raised to two thousand.So I had to try harder.In this way, I mentioned it again and again, and ten years have passed, and my earning ability has never been able to meet my wife's satisfaction.Until I wrote this text, she was still saying: If you can make more money, we will be fine!

Similar situations have happened to all the friends I know who are willing to be honest.Over the years, everyone has been working hard and their income has been increasing, but until today, everyone's life is not "good", and some even divorced because of the "good" financial situation.

A friend whose husband and wife relationship is relatively harmonious said: This cannot be blamed on our women.Although we are earning more and more money, the level of consumption continues to rise.You give your wife five thousand a month today, which is not as good as the one thousand five thousand at that time.It is hard for a clever woman to cook without rice, and their complaints are justified.

Before that, I firmly believed that the reason why this friend always got along with his wife as well as when they were in love was that he understood that it is a man's responsibility to support a family, and he was able to do it himself, turn his wife's dissatisfaction into motivation, and earn more money.But I was wrong.Not long ago, he also left. His ex-wife, who is no longer young but has a mature woman's demeanor, told him a word before leaving her: I can't live this life, I can't live in poverty forever!
It seems that this is not a question of money at all, but a question of people.

Zhao Lirong said in "Packaging": Money is really a good thing.Without money, there is no TV.In fact, no TV is not enough to show the power of money in case.Without money, you can't buy a house, you can't buy a car, you can't go to restaurants, you can't go shopping, you can't even use paid public toilets.Although some people say that money is a bastard, every modern person must live around money regardless of whether they criticize it or not.

So, if a person has money, will he be happier and happier?In theory yes.With money, you can buy all the things that can be bought with money. With these things, you will naturally not have the distress of wanting to have what you want.However, this is only a theory.There are some facts that are not theoretical, the most obvious one is that some people have a lot of money, but they are also unhappy.

So philosophers say: A person is not happy because he has more, but because he cares less.Buddhists believe that there are eight sufferings in life, and not being able to ask for it is one of them.In fact, this statement is too accurate. The suffering of the world is not necessarily not being able to get it, but wanting more after getting it, more and more, and endless seeking.That's why the Buddhists said: Having desires is suffering, but having no desires is happiness.

Contentment is the greatest blessing in life.The ancients said: There are thousands of mansions in Guangsha, eight feet of sleep at night; ten thousand hectares of fertile land, one liter of solar eclipse.It is true that most people can understand and agree with it, but there are very few people who are willing to practice it.

Liu Zongyuan, one of the Eight Great Masters of the Tang and Song Dynasties, was good at prose. He wrote an article "The Biography of Lili".It walked all the way, no matter what it encountered, it always grabbed it and carried it on its back, so it didn't take long for it to be too tired to walk due to the heavy load.Someone took pity on it and took off the things on its back, but the beetle always put those things on its back again.In addition, they like to climb to high places and refuse to give up after trying their best. As a result, they can only die of exhaustion.

To this day, no one sees the beetles anymore, probably because they are exhausted.Human beings are not as stupid as scorpions, but people always want to "go forward" and "upward". How to find the balance between money and pursuit?And see the following story:

In a monastery in the western suburbs of Bangkok, the capital of Thailand, there lived a master named Sotinak.Due to the remote location of the temple, the incense is very deserted, so the master often goes to the hillside around the temple to trim the shrubs when he is free.Over time, many shrubs have been trimmed neatly.

One day, an unexpected visitor came to the temple suddenly.The visitor was well-dressed and imposing, and at first glance he was a wealthy tycoon.The master personally received the distinguished guest and accompanied him on a tour.During the walk, the guest asked: "How can a person eliminate his desires?"

The master went back to the house and took out his own scissors, and then took the guests to the hillside outside the monastery and said: "You only need to prune a tree frequently, and the desire will be eliminated."

The guest took the scissors suspiciously, walked towards a bush, and cut it with a click.After about half an hour, the mage asked him how he was feeling.The guest smiled: "I feel that my body has stretched and relaxed a lot, but the desire in my heart still hasn't let go."

"It was like this at the beginning. It will be fine if you trim it frequently." The mage said with a nod.

Although the guest didn't understand, but since then, every week he will drive to the monastery on time to cut the shrubs.Three months later, the master asked him again, did he know how to get rid of desire?
The guest looked ashamed, sighed and said: "Maybe I am too dull. When cutting trees here, I can still be calm and free from worries. But when I return to my life circle, all desires are still like a As much as usual."

The mage chuckled, pointed to the shrubs that the guests had pruned and said: "Did you find out these days that no matter how diligently we prune a tree, the original cut parts will grow back. It's like our desire, don't you Hope is completely eliminated. All we can do is try our best to prune it to be more beautiful. If we let our desires go, it will be ugly like this overgrown shrub. But with frequent pruning, it can become a beautiful landscape again. For fame and fortune , As long as you take it in a proper way, use it in a proper way, and benefit yourself and others, it should not be regarded as a shackle of the soul."

Just as the bushes all over the mountain will grow wildly if they are not pruned, human desires will overflow if they are not controlled.If you don't know enough, your life will never be "good".But human beings cannot live without desires.It is not only the premise of life, but also the foundation of human social development and historical progress.Humans should not suppress desires either.Just as excessive weight loss can harm the body, excessive suppression of desires can distort the soul.Therefore, we only need to learn to control our desires, and be restrained in our desires, just like a cup of green tea, although its taste is light, it can nourish life.If greed is too much, desire will turn into a glass of salt water, making people thirstier and hurt more.

2.to have is to be owned
Many people like to ask: what do I have?In fact, however, the more a person has, the more he is not himself.Because the more people have, the less time they have to be themselves.

——Fu Peirong (Professor of Tamkang University in Taiwan, once gave a speech at Tsinghua University)

There is a story in the "Nirvana Sutra": One day, a very beautiful woman walked into a man's house. The master liked her very much when he saw her, so he asked her, "What's your name and where do you live? Come to my house." What's up?"

The woman replied: "I am a meritorious angel (an auspicious angel). Everywhere I go, I give people gold, silver, glass, pearls, coral, amber, agate, elephants, horses, chariots, vehicles, slaves, servants."

The master was even more delighted when he heard this, and thought to himself: "I am such a blessed person. The Heaven of Merit comes to my house, and I must make offerings to her!" Then, the master brought out five-color fruits, burned incense and scattered flowers to make offerings to the Heaven of Merit.At this moment, the master accidentally found another woman standing outside the door. She was very ugly, her clothes were torn and covered with dirt and dust, her skin was wrinkled and cracked, and her color was gray and pale. , In stark contrast to the beautiful skin of Gongdetian.

The master was very upset immediately, he thought to himself, how could there be such an ugly woman in the world?And walked up to her and asked her: "What's your name? Where do you live? What are you doing here?"

The woman said, "My name is Dark Woman."

"This name is so strange, why do you call it Dark Lady?" the master asked.

The dark woman said: "That's because every time I go to a place, the treasure of the owner of that place will be consumed..."

Before the dark girl finished speaking, the owner ran into the room and took out a knife, threatening, "Go away, or I will kill you!"

The Dark Woman said, "You are really a fool."

The master asked: "Why do you say I am stupid?"

The Dark Woman: "The woman who just entered your house is my sister. My sister and I are inseparable. If you want to drive me away, my sister will also go with me."

The master didn't quite believe it, and thought to himself that the two women had such a big difference in appearance, how could they be sisters?But he still ran back to the house and asked Gongdetian: "There is a woman outside who claims to be your sister, is it true?"

Gongdetian said: "It's true. If you accept me, you must accept my sister."

"Oh?" The master thought for a while, and said, "You can leave, and I won't accept you. Both of you go. If every good thing is connected with bad things, then I would rather not have good or bad; if I get At the same time, it also makes me lose, so I'd rather not get it at all."

After hearing this, Gongdetian immediately stood up, pulled the dark girl, and followed each other away.

While getting a benefit, there will inevitably be a bad thing - this is life.On the contrary, if I never had it, then I have nothing to lose.From this point of view, the protagonist in the story is a wise man.When he understood that the Heaven of Merit and the Dark Girl are bound to accompany each other like a shadow, he resolutely drove away the two sisters, thus cutting off the ecstasy of gaining and the extreme loss of losing.This is a kind of wisdom, but it is a kind of wisdom that can only appear in books.People in real life can't do this.

Because it can't be done, people don't believe that people can suffer to get it.As for the virtuous heaven and the dark girl, that is just a story, how can it be taken seriously?Even if it really makes me lose while gaining, then I am willing to be a rich man for a second-everyone probably thinks so.

In fact, this is just our wishful thinking after all.To take a step back, even if you have what you have and don’t lose it, or if you have more, you still have to pay for it, and the price is very high-losing yourself.

Netizens joked: Life is a tragedy.If life is compared to a cup, then possession is really a cup.The reason is simple: when a glass is filled with milk, people will say "this is milk"; when the glass is filled with mineral water, people will say "this is water"; People will say: "This is oil"... Only when the glass is empty, people will say "This is a cup".In the same way, whatever a man possesses, he is "occupied" by it.The more he is passionate about something, the more it will become his shackles.

Mr. Fu Peirong wrote in the book "Philosophy and Life": To have is to be owned.Many people like to ask: what do I have?However, in fact, the more a person has, the less he is, because the more a person has, the less time he has to be himself.The more things you own, the more distracted your attention will be, the less thinking you will have, and the less connotation of life, so that you will eventually be owned by what you own and become a slave to what you own.

Mr. Fu gave an example: For example, if I own a car, it means that I am owned by the car, because I must always worry: "Has my car been towed away? What if the parking fee has not been paid?" There is a friend who worked very hard to earn money, used to rent a house, and finally bought a house by himself.He owns the house and is also owned by it.Later, he worked hard to make money and bought five houses. Since then, he has been even more tired, because he has been worrying about the problem of the house for half of a month: renting it to others for fear of not being able to receive the rent, and worrying that others will not accept the rent after receiving the rent. Moving away, when the economy is bad, I still worry about the price of the house falling, and then I have to pay a bunch of taxes every year.After several years of hard work, the quality of life has actually declined.

Obviously, this does not mean that only those who have nothing are free people, but reminds us that we don't need to own things that we don't need to have, and what we have should be what we can control or mean to us.Compared with the ancients, the living conditions of modern people are very different. Some materials that ancient emperors could not enjoy can be enjoyed by modern ordinary people, but most people still live as the ancients said, "unsatisfactory things often happen." In addition to natural disasters and man-made disasters that we cannot avoid, most of the other unsatisfactory things are actually caused by us.Either we feel uncomfortable because we have too little, or because we have too much, we become vassals of things. People, including relatives, often communicate with each other for the purpose of money. They have nothing to do with utilitarianism, even if they are placed in the treasury, their souls will not be settled.

3.Your bowl can't hold the whole ocean

The sages said: "Accumulating wealth hurts the way", which hurts the way of being a human being. If a person does something that hurts nature and reason, what does his child learn?Learn greed, learn selfishness.After the future generations learn this, will his family luck continue?Self-made people know how to live frugally, but what will happen to the dudes who have never made money when they spend their money?Spend money like water.No amount of wealth can stop the squandering of unworthy descendants. An unworthy descendant can squander the wealth accumulated by two or three generations in an instant.Therefore, man is not as good as God, and only by following God's virtue of good life can the family fortune be undefeated.Therefore, when a person has a lot of selfish desires, his wisdom is often obscured, he cannot see the future, and he is just acting out his temporary likes and dislikes in vain.

——Cai Lixu (Founder of "Haikou Xiaolian Chinese Studies Enlightenment Center", once delivered a speech at Tsinghua University)
My friend Mr. Zhang Shaomin has a little poem:
Life is a bowl, turn it over and it is a grave.

In just fourteen words, it vividly expresses the cruel reality of life.

Life is but a bowl of rice.But the iron rice bowl is a bowl, the coarse porcelain bowl is also a bowl, and the beggar's bowl with missing corners is still a bowl.As long as they are sane, there is no reason why people should not yearn for iron rice bowls, be unwilling to be reconciled to large porcelain bowls, and reject bowls with missing corners.

In Chinese life, a bowl is not just a simple tool for eating.When an accomplished person is humble, he will often say that he is just a poor job; when a person finds a good job, others will often envy him for having a golden job; …

Bowl, it is hard for you to tell what it specifically represents in China, but it affects everyone's life, and even determines the character and philosophy of life of the Chinese people.In order to get a job, some people flatter horses, mobilize contacts, and give money; some people, in order to keep their jobs, are cautious, like walking on thin ice, and want to lower their heads into their crotches when they see the leader; some people bravely smash the rice bowl full of chicken ribs , Going to the sea, going up the mountain, the euphemistic name is not to bow down for a bowl of rice, but to put it bluntly, it is better to find a bowl of rice to eat.

There's nothing wrong with finding a job.People don't live to eat, but people live to eat after all.Without a rice bowl, it means that there is no guarantee of the next meal.In fact, even beggars have a rice bowl.In China, losing your job is tantamount to losing your life.No job, basically nothing.Even if you think it's nothing, the fickle Chinese people think it's very serious.Because being with a person who has no job will seriously reduce the gold content of their job, and also lower their status.

Therefore, for the sake of ourselves and those around us, as long as Chinese people still have a little bit of strength, they will always subconsciously try to put more things in their bowls. If you don’t need it today, you may need it tomorrow.If you can't eat it yourself, it's good to leave it for your children and grandchildren.

It's not just Chinese attitudes to jobs, either.He even joked that it's not just about human attitudes towards rice bowls.The four are all empty, and the Buddha is also sad about his job.In "Journey to the West", Tang Monk, his mentor and his disciples finally came to Lingshan through untold hardships, just because there is no "personnel" to honor the Tathagata's disciples Ananda and Kassapa, they had a happy time, and took a stack of wordless Needless to say, it was still flooded to pieces.Sun Wukong angrily went to the Tathagata to explain the truth, and the Tathagata told him his own truth: "Don't shout, monkey, I already knew about this. The scriptures should not be passed on lightly, and they should not be taken in vain. I remember that in the old days when the monks and nuns went down the mountain, The scriptures were recited at Zhao Changchun’s house in the Sravasti Kingdom, and they only got three buckets and three liters of scattered gold. I said they sold it cheaply, and taught future generations to have no money to enjoy it..."

Of course this is Wu Chengen's humor.But having said that, Buddhism has been established for so many years, how many people can truly reach the state of emptiness of the four elements?Even if you achieve it, you don't pay attention to your rice bowl, but at least you have to pay attention to your own bowl.

Jesus also said: "It is harder for a rich man to go to heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle." But who can guarantee that the poor will definitely go to heaven?Besides, why should the rich go to heaven? Don't they live well in the world?Therefore, whether ancient or modern, Chinese or foreign, monks, laymen, or nuns, everyone has the same attitude towards jobs.

But there's still nothing wrong with that.Although Buddhism emphasizes that the four things are all empty, it does not fundamentally ignore the rice bowl. It just teaches us to look down on the rice bowl, don’t put everything in it, and don’t make it too heavy.

There is a little joke: One day, Qianlong asked Liu Yong: "Where did the country's money go?" Liu Yong replied: "It fell into the river." Qianlong asked again: "Why don't you fish it?" Liu Yong replied: "The river is deep (and Shen) ah!"

As we all know, this is definitely not wronged Heshen.Heshen's greed is well documented. The following is the main property of Heshen when his home was ransacked according to historical records:

8000 hectares of fields.

There are 10 banks and 10 pawnshops.

(End of this chapter)