dead souls, imperial envoy

Chapter 26 Dead Souls (26)
"After the battle of [-], my sir," began the postmaster, although there were six gentlemen in the room instead of just one, "after the battle of [-], Kopekin The captain was sent back with the wounded. I don't know whether it was in Kolas or Leipzig. Imagine that he lost an arm and a leg. Well, there was no guarantee for the wounded at that time, you know. The present Wounded Fund, as you can imagine, was in a sense established much later. Lieutenant Kopeikin knew he had to find work. But, you must understand, all he had left One left hand. He went home to find his father. His father said: "I can just live on my own, I have nothing to support you." So Captain Kopekin planned to go to Petersburg to ask the emperor to see if he could get the emperor Grace, reason, 'so, so, in a sense, bloody, so to speak...' Well, and then, you know, he got into a public van—in a word, my sir, he After a lot of hard work, I arrived in Petersburg. Well, you can imagine that this Captain Kopeikin suddenly came to the capital, our capital, which can be regarded as unparalleled in the world! A light suddenly appeared in front of his eyes, and it can be said that some kind of world , like Scheherazade in a fairy tale. It's so dizzying, you can imagine, Nevsky Prospekt for a while, and then, you know, Pea Street, with flowers! And Foundry Street for a while; the pointed roofs here Inserted into the clouds, the bridge over there, as you can imagine, hangs in the air, does not meet the sky and does not touch the ground, in a word, it is a world of flowers, sir! He wanted to rent a house, but everything was too expensive: curtains , window curtains, there are too many patterns, and carpets—the whole of Persia has been brought here: it can be said that all the money is under your feet. Alas, if you walk casually on the street, your nose will smell it. The taste of thousands of rubles; but the whole bank of my Captain Kopekin, you know, has only a dozen blue notes for five rubles. Well, he had to be wronged at the Reverly Hotel, one day A ruble a night; lunch was vegetable soup and a piece of roast beef. Seeing that his life was going to be ruined, he asked where to go. He was told that there was a Supreme Council that was in charge of such matters, and what kind of general the prefect was. The emperor, you know, had not returned to Beijing at that time; the army, as you can imagine, had not returned from Paris and was still abroad. Our Kopekin got up early, combed his beard with his left hand,— Because going to the barbershop, in a sense, cost money again, put on a shabby uniform, put on wooden legs, you can imagine, and went to the governor. Asked where the official residence was, and he pointed to the marina A house on Palace Street said: "That's it." The small thatched house, you know, is the kind that serfs live in: the small panes of glass on the windows, as you can imagine, are one and a half feet high, and the inside of the house The vases and things in the house are as if placed outside: in a sense, as if you can reach them from the street; Take any little handle on a door, you know,I really have to spend a copper coin to buy a bar of soap in a small shop, wash my hands for two or three hours, and then dare to touch it-in a word: everything is shining, in a sense, it really makes me People are dazzled.A porter stood there with the air of a generalissimo: a mace gleaming with gold, an earl's features, like a well-tended fat pug; a collar of fine linen, air! ...

"Kopepkin, with his wooden legs, finally stumbled into the anteroom, and stood in a corner in order, lest he accidentally knock some American or Indian vase with gilded china with his elbow. Alas, needless to say , he stood there for a long time, as you can imagine, for when he arrived the general was, in a sense, only just getting up, and the valet had probably just brought him a large silver basin with all kinds of Cosmetics for grooming, for him to wash various places. My Kopeikin waited for more than four hours, and finally an adjutant - probably a duty officer - came over and said: 'The general will come to the reception room immediately .' At this time, the reception room was packed with people. Those people are not like we are all the paupers of the fourth or fifth rank officials. A macaroni ribbon—that was a general, in a word, a regiment of generals. There was a slight perceptible commotion in the room, like a light wind blowing. There was a sound of 'hush', and finally there was a serious silence. My lord came in. Oh, you can imagine: the country needs talents! The expression on his face, you can say...befitting an official title, you understand...a senior official... ...You understand that expression. Needless to say, all the people in the reception room immediately stood up straight and waited cautiously. In a sense, this is the arrangement of fate. My lord walked up to this person in a while, After a while, he walked up to that person: "Why did you come here? What is your request? What is your problem?" Finally, he walked in front of Kopeikin. Kopeikin mustered up his courage and said, "So and so, my lord, I Bloody sacrifice, so to speak, in a certain sense, an arm and a leg, unable to work, dared to beg the grace of the Emperor.' His Excellency saw him with his wooden leg, and his right sleeve rolled up in his uniform, said : "Well, I'll hear from you in two days." Kopekin went out, almost shouting with joy:
One is because the supreme officer received him; the other is that the issue of his pension, in a sense, is finally going to be resolved.You know he skipped along the pavement with such joy.He went into the Palkin's and had a glass of vodka, my sir, and he went to the London Hotel for a steak with cauliflower sprouts, a capon with all kinds of fancy, and a glass of vodka. A bottle of wine, and an evening at the theater—in a word, you know, he had a good time.He saw a slender Englishwoman walking down the pavement like a swan, as you can imagine.Our Kopekin was delighted, you know, and he staggered after her on wooden legs, and after a while he thought: 'No, we'll have to wait until the pension comes down.I'm getting a little too carried away now. 'So, my sir, after three or four days, our Kopekin went to see your excellency again.When the adults came out, he said: "I'm here to listen to the orders of the adults. Regarding my illness and disability..." He said something like this in an official tone.As for your lord, you can imagine that he recognized him immediately and said: "Well, I can't tell you anything this time, I can only tell you to wait until the emperor comes back; at that time, we must treat the disabled." The officers and soldiers made arrangements, and without the emperor's, uh, imperial decree, I couldn't do anything about it. ’ and bowed, which, you know, means—good-bye.Kopekin, as you can imagine, was distraught when he came out.He expected to send him the money the next day when he came and said, 'Honey, now take these and go eat and drink. 'I didn't expect that the answer I got in the end was to let him wait, and I didn't say when I would wait.He descended the steps dejectedly, like a reserving dog: tail tucked, ears down.He thought to himself: "Hmph, no, I'm going to do it again. In fact, I'm going to have no food to eat--no matter what I am, I am, in a sense, about to starve to death." ’ In a word, my sir, he went to the Rue du Palais again.The concierge said: "No, my lord will not meet you today, come back tomorrow." ’ When the next day came, he gave the same reply, and even the porter refused to see him.But there's only one blue note left in his pocket, you know.Before, I had a plate of vegetable soup and a piece of roast beef; but now I can only buy a piece of pickle or a little pickle in a small shop for two copper coins, and eat it with bread-in a word, the poor man has no money to eat. But his appetite is still like a hungry wolf.Passing by the door of a restaurant - where the cook, as you can imagine, is a foreigner, an amiable Frenchman in a Dutch shirt and white apron, making a salsa and mushroom steak, ——In other words, I am making delicious food, and the taste is so greedy that I can't wait to eat myself.Passing by the famous Millyutin grocer, with smoked salmon in the window, large cherries for five rubles, and a watermelon the size of a carriage protruding from the window, Waiting, so to speak, for some fool who would pay a hundred rubles for it—in a word, at every step he met those tantalizing things that made one drool, but what he heard was Always 'tomorrow'.You can imagine his situation: on one side, there is smoked salmon, watermelon and all kinds of delicacies, while on the other side, the dish of 'tomorrow' is always being served to him.Finally the poor man, in a sense, couldn't take it anymore, you know, and he decided to break in and see your lord.The next day, he waited at the gate of the general's mansion to see if there were any suitors coming in, but he dragged a wooden leg and slipped into the reception room following a general who had come.The grown-up came out as usual and asked, 'Why did you come here?What is your question? ’ He glanced at Kopeikin, ‘ah’, and said: ‘I told you that you need to wait two more days. ''My lord, I can say that I have no food to eat...''What should I do then?I can't help it now.You try to help yourself first, and find a way to make a living by yourself. ''But, my lord, in a certain sense, I am missing an arm and a leg, and what kind of livelihood can I find in this state. ''But,' said Your Excellency, 'perhaps you will agree: but I cannot, in a sense, help you with my own money; there are many disabled officers and soldiers who come here, and they all enjoy equal rights. Right...be patient a little longer.After the emperor comes back, I can assure you that the emperor will not leave you alone. ''But, my lord, I cannot wait. ' said Kopekin.His tone, in a sense, was a little rough.You understand that the grown-up is already slightly upset.In fact: at this time the generals are waiting around him to listen to his decisions and assignments; all things, it can be said, are national affairs, and they all need to be done quickly-sometimes a delay of 1 minute may cause serious problems Consequences——but at this time, a troublemaker came to pester him endlessly. 'I'm sorry,' said Your Excellency, 'but I have no time now... There are more important problems than yours, which are waiting for my solution. ' He was, in a sense, a tactful way of reminding him that he should go.But our Kopeikin was so hungry that he completely ignored it. He said: "Anyway, my lord, if I don't get your instructions today, I will never go out of here." 'Well...you can imagine what the result would be if you talk to an adult in this way. As long as there is a word in your words that collides with him, you will be kicked out and rolled to the point where you can't even find a ghost. It's very impolite for a person with a lower official rank to say such a thing to us.However, look at the difference here: one is the chief general, and the other is Captain Kopeikin!One is ninety rubles, one is zero!
"The general didn't say anything more, just gave him a stare, and sometimes the eye is a weapon: a stare and you panic. But our Kopeikin, you can imagine, still stands There was no movement there. 'What's the matter with you?' asked the general, who, as the saying goes, issued an expulsion order. But, to be honest, he was rather magnanimous: if someone else He must be furious and make you dizzy with fright, but he just said softly: "Well, if the cost of living here is too expensive for you to wait for the problem to be solved in peace, I can only use the official fee to send you away." Send him back. Call the messenger! Send him back to his homeland!' And the messenger appeared before him: a strong man over three feet tall, with large hands, as you can imagine, designed to teach him a lesson. Long and long as a coachman—in a word, with a diabolical appearance... So Kopekin, a slave of God, was picked up by the messenger, thrown into the carriage, and dragged away. Kopekin thought: Well, at least I don’t need to spend the fare, and I should be grateful for that.” So Kopeikin got into the messenger’s car and walked, walking, and thinking, in a sense, um: 'Since the adults have said that I need to find a way to help myself,' he said, 'well, I will find a way to solve the problem by myself!' Well, as for how to send him to his hometown and his life in the end. No one knows exactly where his hometown is. That's it, you know, and Captain Kopeikin has disappeared, as the poets write, into oblivion. But please pay attention, gentlemen, That's where the plot of the story unfolded. In this way, no one knows where Kopeikin went; but just two months later, as you can imagine, a group of robbers appeared in the Ryazan forest, and the leader, My husband, not someone else..."

"But, interrupt me, Ivan Andreevich," said the police chief, interrupting him suddenly, "you said yourself, Captain Kopekin, that you are missing an arm and a leg, beg Chikov..."

The postmaster slapped his forehead hard when he heard this, and said that he was confused in front of the big guys.He wondered why such a situation hadn't occurred to him when he first started telling the story; he realized that there was a truth to the saying that Russians are always wise after the fact.But only after 1 minute, he immediately tried his best to justify himself, he said, but it is true that the British machinery manufacturing technology is very advanced, and the newspaper said that a person in England invented a wooden leg, as long as the hidden small button is pressed The spring, the wooden leg can take a person to a place that no one knows, and then you can't find that person no matter where you are.

But everyone still doubted that Chichikov was Captain Kopekin, and they all felt that the postmaster had gone too far.And they themselves were not to be outdone, and inspired by the unique conjectures of the postmaster, they didn't come close.In the midst of many clever guesses and reasonings, finally came to such a guess, which is even surprising to say, that the guess is that Chichikov may be Napoleon in disguise, that the British have long been jealous of the vastness of Russia, It is said that an Englishman even drew a few cartoons, which showed a Russian chatting with an Englishman.The Englishman stands there with a dog on a leash, and that dog represents Napoleon!The Englishman said: "Be careful, you are dishonest, I will let the dog bite you immediately!" Maybe now the British have released Napoleon from St. Helena and let him sneak into Russia. It looks like Chichikov, but in fact it is definitely not Chichikov.

(End of this chapter)