dead souls, imperial envoy

Chapter 51 The Imperial Envoy (3)
Osip (supine on the master's bed) It's terrible, it's terrible!I was starving to death, I really wanted to eat, my stomach kept growling, like a battalion blowing a trumpet.This time I may not be able to walk home!How to do it?It has been two months since I left Petersburg!Along the way, this guy spent all his money on the road, and now sits there with his tail between his legs, not daring to get angry.In fact, you should save some money and go on your way; but, whenever you come to the city, you have to show your face! (Like the master's tone) "Hey, Osip, go and have a look, the room wants the best, and the best food; I can't eat some cheap food, I want to eat the best." If it is promising Of course, there is no problem with such a request, he is just an ordinary fourteenth-class civil servant24!He was always fond of making friends with passing travelers, and playing cards with them;--and so it came!Alas, such a life is hard enough!It seems that the countryside is better: although it is not as prosperous as the city, there are not so many troubles. As long as you marry a woman, you can sit back and relax for the rest of your life, and you can just eat stuffed pies.To tell the truth, surely no one would argue that life in Petersburg is of course the best.As long as you have money, life is quality and comfortable: there are all kinds of theaters, you can watch dogs dance to your heart's content, and you can do whatever you want.Talk like a nobleman, try to use an elegant and polite tone, and be on par with the nobleman. Go to Shchukin Street, and the merchants will shout to you: "Honorable man!" You can sit with officials on the ferry; if you want to make friends, Go to the shop; the knights will tell you about the fields, and tell you where each star is in the sky, as clearly as if you saw it in the palm of your hand.An old officer's wife would come graciously; sometimes a young maid would visit... Ha, ha, ha! (laughing and looking up) Damn it, it's awesome.Unkind words you never hear, everyone calls each other "you".If you don't like walking,--hire a carriage and sit in it like a gentleman.If you don't want to pay for the car - you can do that too.The gates of the front and back yards of each house are connected to each other. As long as you slip away, the custody devil will not be able to find you.But there's one thing that's just awful: sometimes you're stuffed and other times you're starving, like now, and it's all his fault.What can you do with this kind of person?Father sent money, which would have lasted a while—but what about him? ...you know how to go out and spend money recklessly.Take a carriage when you go out, and buy theater tickets every day.So after only one week, I had to be sent to the flea market to sell new dresses.Even sold out the last shirt, leaving only a jacket and coat... Really, it's true!That wool is valuable and made in England!A gown costs 150 rubles, but is sold in the market for only [-] rubles; let alone trousers—this is all true.Why is this so? — because he is not doing his job properly.I don't go to the government office to do things, just hang out on the street all day, gambling.If the old man finds out, it's over!It doesn't matter whether you are an official or not, he will definitely lift up your shirt, beat you up, make you unable to get out of bed for four days in pain, and even scratch and itch to death.Since you are an official, you should do well and behave like an official.It was so bad now that the innkeeper had said that no meals would be served until the debt was paid.We really have no money to pay, what should we do?

(sighs) Oh, my God, even a little soup would be nice!Now I really want to eat up the whole world.There was a knock at the door, and he must have returned. (Leaps hastily from bed.)
▲Second game
[Osip and Hles Dakov.Osip is hereinafter referred to as O, and Hles Dakov is hereinafter referred to as He]
He took this over. (hands over hat and cane) Are you lying in bed again?
Oh what?Why are you lying on your bed?Haven't I seen the bed?

He Shao nonsense, you must have been lying down.Look at the crumpled cups!
Oh why am I lying in bed?Don't I know what a bed is for?I have legs and I can stand.Why do I have to lie on your bed?

He (pacing up and down the room) Did you see that there is no shredded tobacco in the paper bag?
Where is the shredded tobacco?You finished smoking the day before yesterday.

H. (walking, pursing his lips again and again; finally speaking in a loud, resolute voice) Hey, listen to... Osip!

What's O's order?
Huh (in a loud and not very resolute voice) You go over there.

Where is O going?
He (Yong is not very firm, with a low, almost begging voice) went to the cafeteria downstairs...tell them...let them cook for me.

Oh no, I'm not going, I don't want to go.

Hey, how dare you treat me like this?You idiot.

Even if Ao went, he would definitely be looked down upon and return empty-handed.The boss said that the meal will not be served until the arrears are paid.

He dare not eat?Don't talk nonsense!
He said he was going to the mayor, because sir, you haven't paid for three weeks.He said: "You and your master are liars, especially your master is simply a villain. I have seen a lot of scum like you. I will tell the mayor what you have done and see how he will deal with you!"

Hey, you bastard, you are so happy to relay the words to me verbatim.

Ota also said: "When people like you come here, you just live here, and you owe so much money, there is no way to expel them." He said angrily, "I'm not joking, I will sue until Send you to the police station and put them in jail."

Hateful, enough, enough!You go, go and tell him.What a stupid fool!

Oh, I think it would be better for the boss to meet you himself.

What did He ask the boss to do?Tell him yourself.

Master O, this...

He, well, go, go and call the boss.

[Exit Ossip. ]
▲The third game
[Hles Dakov]
He Tian!Really want to eat something!I wanted to walk for a while to drive away my appetite, but it didn't work.Heck, instead of being driven away, I was getting more and more hungry.Of course, if I hadn't spent money lavishly in Penza, I'd have money to go home by now.That infantry captain has done me a disservice.The bastard played cards too well.After only playing for a quarter of an hour, all the money went into his pocket.But I am not reconciled, I really want to fight him again.But without money, there is no opportunity.This odious little town!The vegetable shop would not accept any credit.Damn, it's really mean. (At first it was Robbie Lee's tune, then 'You Hang on My Neck, Little Mother', and at last she sang in some tune) No one would come.

▲The fourth game
[Hles Dakov, Osip and hotel servant]
My boss sent me to ask you what's the matter.

Hey man, nice to meet you!How are you? How are you?
God bless, all is well.

How is the business of your hotel?Are you okay too?

Servant God bless, also very good.

Does He have many customers every day?
The servants are okay and there are enough guests.

Hey, listen, buddy, I haven't served dinner yet, please hurry up and remind them, you see, I have something to do after I finish eating, yes, there are some small things to do.

I think I can't help you anymore, the boss said that he can't serve you any more meals today.He has something important to do today, he is going to the mayor to sue you for freeloading.

what?sue?Think about it, my dear, why are you suing?I am human and I have to eat.If I don't eat I will starve to death.I'm craving food right now, no kidding.

Boss Pu said: "If the previous account is not paid, you can't cook for him." These are his exact words.

Hey, help me talk to him and persuade her for me.

How can I persuade him?

Hey, just tell him, I have to eat something.Whether money is money or not is another matter... He thought to himself that it doesn't matter that he, a countryman, goes without food for a day, so how can others go without food for a day like him.This is really news!
All right, all right, let me tell you.

▲Fifth game
[Hles Dakov]
Heck, it's too bad if the innkeeper just won't give you food.I really want to eat something now, I have never wanted to eat like this before.How about taking a dress and going out and selling it for some money?How about selling the pants?No, it's better to bear with it, and it's better to go home in Petersburg clothes.It's a pity that Johim refused to rent a carriage to me anymore, otherwise, it would be so beautiful to go home in a carriage, sit in the carriage, and rush directly to the steps of the neighbor's landlord's house, let the carriage light the lantern, and let Osip Put on a gold-trimmed uniform and stand behind 25.If this is the case, it must be very sensational. I think everyone must panic! "Who? What's the matter?" The servant went in, (straightening up, pretending to be a servant) "Ivan Alexandrovitch Khlesdkov from Petersburg, do you want to receive me? "How could these idiots know what it means to "order an interview".If a landowner came to their house, they would waddle like bears into the drawing room.He may also walk up to a certain attractive woman and say, "Miss, I really..." (While rubbing his hands, rubbing his feet on the ground) Ouch! (Spitting) I feel nauseous, I really want to eat something to relieve it.

▲The sixth game
[Hles Dakov, Osip and hotel servant]
What's wrong?
The Austrian rice is here.

He (clapping, jumping slightly on the chair) The meal is here!Here comes the meal!awesome!
Servant (holding plate and napkin) The boss said, this is the last time I serve you dinner.

Boss He said, Boss said... I don't care what boss it is!Tell me what's the dish first?

There is soup and roast meat.

Hey, are there only two dishes?

Yes, there are only two things.

He is simply nonsense!I can't receive it.You go and say to him: How can this be done?what is this? ...too little.

Boss Bo Ke said, this is too much.

Hey why no sauce?

Boom, no sauce.

Hey why not?When I passed the kitchen, I saw with my own eyes that there were many dishes prepared.In the dining room this morning I saw two small men enjoying salmon.Seems like there's something else going on.

Ping, maybe there is, maybe not now.

Why is he gone?
If there is no servant, it is gone.

What about Herna salmon?What about meatloaf?
Those things are prepared for those superior people.

Hey, you're so stupid, you're an asshole!
Yes, you can think so.

Hey, you idiot... If they can eat it, can't I?Why the hell can't I eat it?Is there any difference between them and me?

Servants are indeed different.

Why is it different?

To put it simply, they are just ordinary guests!They also know that they have to give money after eating.

Hey, I don't want to discuss these issues with you idiot. (starts to drink soup) What kind of soup is this?It's like pouring white water directly into the plate, there is no taste at all, oh, it's not without it, it's a bit smelly; I don't drink this kind of soup, so I have to change it to another soup.

All right, I can take it back right away.The boss said: If you don't want to eat, you don't have to.

He (holding the dish with his hand) Okay, okay...I'll just make it up, idiot!How can you treat me with such an attitude?I'm not the kind of person you think.I advise you not to be like me! (Continues to eat) I don't think anyone in the world has ever had a soup like this: you see it's not oil floating on it, but feathers. (cutting the chicken) Oh, oh, what kind of chicken is this!Give me a barbecue now!There's a little soup left, Osip, here you go. (cuts the roast) What kind of roast is this!It's not kebab at all.

servant what is that?
Who knows what it is, but it's definitely not barbecue.It's like roasting an ax instead of beef. (stabbing) Liar, bastard!What is it that they let us eat.Eating such a piece of food can destroy the roots of the teeth. (fingers picking at teeth) Bastard!Like the bark of a tree—you can't pull it out; I guarantee you'll turn your teeth black after you eat it, you liars! (wipes mouth with napkin) Nothing else?

The servant is gone.

Hey bastard stuff!Fool!Hurry up and get some sauce, cake too.Shameless fool!It just squeezes oil and water out of passers-by.

[The servant gathers the utensils, and exits with Osip. ]
▲The seventh game
[Hlesdakov and Osip]
He really, there is no difference between eating and not eating.Just relieved a little hunger pangs.If I had change, Osip could be sent to the market to buy a baguette.

Ao (entering the stage) Oh, it’s not good. For some reason, the mayor came here and kept asking about your situation, and the questions were very specific.

He (surprised) This is going to be bad luck!This damn boss really went to sue!What if he does send me to prison?If he sneaks me in, maybe I... no, no, I can't go in!The city is full of military officers and many civilians. I once made a show of arrogance and flirted with a merchant's daughter... No, I can't go in... What's the matter with him?How dare he do this to me?Does he see me as a merchant or a craftsman? (He braces himself up and straightens himself up.) I'm going to say to him aloud: "How dare you? How can you? .
▲The eighth game
[Hles Dakov, Mayor and Dobchinsky.The mayor came in and stood there.The two stare at each other in horror, eyes widened]
Mayor (trying to relax his spirit, put his hand on the seam of his trousers) Hello!
He (bows deeply) Hello, salute to you!
The mayor is really sorry...

hey nothing...

Mayor, I am the mayor of this city. My responsibility and obligation is to take care of the past guests and all honest people, so that they will not be treated unfairly...

He (stuttered a bit at first, but then he spoke fluently and loudly) I can't help it? ...Can't blame it all on me...I'll pay for it...Country is coming...(Bob Chinski peeps at everything from behind the door) Blame it on him, the beef that came was tough Like wood, shaped like an axe; that soup——I don't know what to pour in it, I should throw it out the window.He didn't serve me a meal, I've been hungry for days...tea?Not to mention, there is a fishy smell and no tea fragrance.What is going on with me... I have never seen it, I have never heard it!
The mayor (timidly) I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, it's all my fault.We always sell fresh beef that has passed the inspection.They were all brought in by the merchants of Holmogorsky.These people are honest and reliable, don't know how to drink, and have excellent conduct.I don't know where he got the piece of beef you mentioned just now.If you're not happy with this place, you can...you can move to another place.

Hey no, I don't want to go, I definitely won't go!I know why you call it moving to another place, moving to a prison, right?What are your rights?How dare you do that? ... I am ... I am an official from Petersburg. (brace yourself) I, I, I...

MAYOR (narrator) Oh, my God, what a temper!He must have known it all, these damn businessmen must have told it all.

Heh (gathering courage) No, I'm definitely not going!Even if you bring the whole team!I'm going straight to the minister (slamming the table with my fist), what can you do to me?What can you do to me?
The Mayor (hardened with fright, trembling all over) Please forgive me, forgive me!I have a wife, and children...don't make me an unlucky one!
Hey no, don't go.really weird!What does what you said have anything to do with me?Isn't it absurd that I should go to prison because you have a wife and children! (Bob Chinski peeps through the door and hides in terror) I'm not going, thank you, I'm not going.

THE MAYOR (shuddering) It's all my fault, I'm inexperienced, really, I'm inexperienced.I don't have a lot of money... You know, one month's salary is not even enough to buy tea and sugar.Even if you take a bribe, it's a little bit: a nice treat, or a dress or two.As for the widow of the non-commissioned officer who runs the business, it is pure rumors that I beat her up, pure rumors.It was all fabricated by people who have had trouble with me on weekdays. These people have always been so bold that they even dared to murder my life.

What about Hena?I have nothing to do with them... (thoughts) I don't know why you're talking about those scoundrels and the widows of non-commissioned officers... The widows of non-commissioned officers are a whole other thing, and now you're talking about me, you don't dare beat me up Dun, you are so far away... How strange!Just be careful! ...I will pay, I will pay, but I have no money now.I live here because I have no money.

The mayor (narrator) is really clever!What is his plan!Letting off so much smoke!It's really unpredictable!If you don't know where to start, try it if you don't believe me!He'll confuse you and overwhelm you. (out loud) If you really need some money, or anything, I can help you right away.It was originally my responsibility and obligation to help the passing guests.

Hena lend me money, hurry up!I'll settle my accounts with the hotel owner right away.All I need is two hundred rubles, or less.

The mayor (hurries to send the banknotes) There are two hundred in total here, you don't need to count any more.

He (takes money) Thank you!I will send it back to you from the country at once... I am suddenly this time... I think you are a kind and generous person.Very good, good, very good!
MAYOR (Narrator) God bless!He took the money.As long as the money is collected, things will be much easier.What I gave him was four hundred, not two hundred.

Hey, Osip! (Enters Ossip.) Call the hotel servant! (To the Mayor and Dobchinski) What are you still standing there for?Sit down, please sit down. (to Dobchinski) Sit down, please.

It's okay, the mayor, it's okay, we can just stand.

He sit down.I can see that you are very direct and hospitable; to tell you the truth, I really thought you would put me... (to Dobchinski) Sit down, please! (The MAYOR sits down with Dobchinski. Bobchinski peeps outside the door and listens.)
(End of this chapter)