just passing by you

Chapter 18 As long as there is a loft with love (2)

In the year when he was about to graduate from university, he only thought about taking her to the city where his hometown was located, and then finding a stable job, getting married and having children, and bringing her love to a successful conclusion.But bad things happened one after another.First he was told that he would not be able to get his degree because he had failed three subjects.Then there was the unit that his parents had contacted. Because of some interest reasons, they found a reason and rejected him again.The girl's parents gave instructions that if they didn't stay in the big city, their love would be out of the question.

At this moment, they began to quarrel endlessly.Such quarrels, every time, ended with his compromise.He thought that his accommodating to her would make her cherish this love as always in the turbulent time before graduation.However, he found that the result of such submission again and again was that the distance between him and her was getting further and further away.Until the end, she said to him, let's break up.

He was almost angry at first, thinking of his best four years, for this love, he delayed his studies, abandoned writing, alienated the host, lost his degree, and even lost his proud personality. The effort, but did not get a graduation certificate of love.

Then one day, he met a girl who once asked him to go to the movies on the street. He called out the girl's name immediately, but the girl watched him for 10 minutes before carefully saying, I'm sorry, you You have changed so much from the you I knew four years ago.He asked where the change was, the girl blushed slightly, hesitated for a long time, and then said, your unique personality attracted many girls at that time, but now, when you are walking among the crowd, it is difficult for me to recognize you at a glance. Out of you, your outstanding light, for some reason, disappeared so completely.Don't you know that your girlfriend at that time tried her best to create a chance for you to notice her...

He finally understood that he lost himself first, and then lost love.The compulsory course of love, it turns out, also includes how to consistently maintain the light of self.

Such a sad little Wu.

When Xiao Wu was sent to my little house for the first time, he was quite uncomfortable.It stayed in the original small broken cardboard box and refused to come out no matter what.I hugged it to a comfortable cotton pad, and it ran back immediately, stared at me aggrievedly, and protested my "absolute monarchy" by going on a hunger strike.I read the stubbornness and sadness in its eyes, and knew that this is a dog with a poetic temperament, and it is impossible to get its heart with rational thinking.Only with a little bit of love and tenderness, slowly melt the ice in its heart, and let it move closer by itself.

After fighting for a few days, Xiao Wu saw that I had no malicious intentions, and was willing to sit on an equal footing with it, and was willing to talk and discuss issues with it in the language of dogs, so he gradually lost his doubts and scruples, and returned to the original simplicity and cuteness nature.Every day when I make a meal, I call "Xiao Wu", and it jumps to the chair next to me with a small bowl in its mouth, and puts the bowl squarely on its chest, waiting for me to serve it with rice.And it must have waited for me to pick up the chopsticks before it hummed happily to me twice and concentrated on eating its own meal.When I want to mop the floor after a meal, it chases the mop in my hand and plays around. Even if I repeat this activity every day, it will not get bored.I suspect that in its childhood life, there are good memories associated with mops, so it is so enjoyable.Or is it a way of expressing gratitude for my three meals a day?When tired of playing, it lay on the mop beautifully, closed its eyes slightly, and let me drag it around.Occasionally, it will snore a little, and the small mouth will open and close like a dream, so I can't bear to procrastinate any longer, disturbing its sweet dreams.

Not long after, I frequently brought back a man named Jin.After Xiao Wu met Jin for the first time, he disliked him strangely.When Xiao Wu doesn't like something, there is often a layer of sad mist in his eyes, as if desperately trying to use this mist to cover his eyes, rejecting the harm and temptation they may bring to him.Jin loves to smoke, but I would choke and cry when I smelled the smoke.But because I was fascinated by Jin's mature and seductive charm and enchantment when smoking, I silently accepted his habit of not giving up for anyone.But my little Wu screamed sharply in such a strange and strange smell.It stared at the burning cigarette in Jin's hand, and walked forward bravely step by step.I looked at the firmness and stubbornness in Xiao Wu's eyes, and knew that it was going to wipe out that smoking monster.I hurriedly shouted, "Xiao Wu, come back!" Jin waved his hands happily to stop me, I knew he wanted to tease Xiao Wu.Xiao Wu, whom I love, in his eyes, is just an ordinary puppy who can be played and teased by others; not a dog with a heart that I have told him many times.Thinking of this, I feel a little lost and a little distressed.Xiao Wu finally walked to Jin's side and jumped up suddenly.Jin raised his hand high and looked at it with a laugh.Then he lowered the cigarette again, causing it to jump up again.Xiao Wu jumped up bravely like this again and again, not afraid of the red cigarette butts scalding its soft front paws, and even the soot falling down, scorching its snow-white hair.But I was afraid.I cried out: Xiao Wu, stop!
Xiao Wu really stopped suddenly like this, turned his head and looked back at me sadly, and then walked over quietly without saying a word.I thought it would snuggle into my arms for comfort because it was sad.But it rubbed against my hand and ran to the balcony.There was the cardboard box it used when it first came, and it jumped into it, no matter how much I yelled, it didn't come out again, until Jin exaggeratedly greeted it, and left with a laugh.

I tried to make Xiao Wu fall in love with Jin as much as I did, but it always failed.Poets always live in their own world, and so does Xiao Wu.It recognizes that a certain person loves to laugh at itself condescendingly, and it will no longer have any hopes and sustenance for this person.It would rather be alone than to accommodate its inviolable self-esteem.

Jin still came over from time to time, ate the meals I made, used my towels and dental bowls, and smoked a cigarette leisurely after washing his feet while waiting for me to pour out the dirty water.He is used to my kindness to him, just as he is used to Xiao Wu's indifference to him.Sometimes he will stay and watch a DVD with me.Once he saw a passionate man and woman in the play, he wanted to kiss me very gently.As soon as I closed my eyes and went up to him, Xiao Wu who was hiding in the corner rushed out, piercing the ambiguous air with a series of angry cries.I smiled and went to pick up Xiao Wu who was jealous, but Jin kicked him with a "bang".Xiao Wu dodged far away, but my hand was swollen and painful from Jin's kick.In the midst of endless complaints and cursing, I got up to look for plaster, and accidentally touched Xiao Wu's eyes in the dark. There was a bright light shining in his eyes, and the fog became more and more dense.Dear Xiao Wu, I am the one who hurts from the kick, but why are you crying?
Then one day, Jin and I quarreled over some trivial matter.When the noise reached its peak, Xiao Wu jumped up and bit Jin's hand.Jin frantically kicked and beat it, then picked up a delicate glass beside him and smashed it hard.Xiao Wu's body was immediately bright red.Xiao Wu jumped away instinctively, followed the long and narrow gap in the door, and rushed into the night screaming.

The love between me and Jin has disappeared since then.And my beloved Xiao Wu, who was closely connected with me day and night, never came back.I posted a lot of notices, telling everyone in this city who is willing to stop for this, if they see a sad and sad dog like a poet, please tell me that it is my Xiao Wu.We used to rely on each other and never left each other, but because of a man who was not worthy of my love at all, he left me on the street.But I know that it will miss me in a certain corner, the cushions and clothes I sewed for it, and my tender caress and love; just like the current me, I will desperately think about it in my dreams, thinking about it. It used to protect me so bravely, but I suddenly understood after losing it.

Dear friend, if you see a sad dog on the streets of this city, please tell me that it is my Xiao Wu, who I love with my whole heart.

(End of this chapter)