just passing by you

Chapter 4 Just Passing You

She has been separated from him for many years, to be exact, she has never really been in love with him.They just met by chance because of work in Beijing in a certain year, so they will never forget it and become each other's confidants.

But it can only be a confidant, and can't take a step forward.Because, he has already become a father, and she has also become a mother.In their respective families, they are all a warm boat, carrying each other's family members forward safely.So no matter which one sails out of the established route, it may bring the consequences of capsizing.

This point was already clear when they first looked at each other affectionately.But once the flame of love burns, there will be an unstoppable prairie fire, which cannot be controlled by any of them.When her return date was approaching, she cried almost every day, even in her arms, thinking of him so strongly.And he asked for leave to spend the last few days with her.We all know that this burning will only leave cooled ashes, but they still bloom vigorously regardless.

If she did one thing right in this life, it was to love him.That was almost the happiest time in her life.She let him hold hands and walked in the streets and alleys of Beijing.They are no longer teenagers, but just like the boys and girls in their first love, eating a sweet and sour candied haws together, or standing at the spicy skewer stalls on the street, enjoying the coolness in the cool early summer evening wind. , The end plate is very enjoyable to eat.Even a small packet of five-spice melon seeds, they can sit on the stone bench in the garden and enjoy eating for hours.

But this time will soon end.She wants to go south to Yangzhou and return to the world of life.He continued to stay in Beijing, walking through the subway where he could never meet her again.Their respective lives seem to be unable to even parallel, but along the point of intersection, they go in opposite directions, getting farther and farther away.

But she still found a small exit for this love in the gap.Her hometown is in Datong, Shanxi, and there is a train that happens to pass through Beijing from Yangzhou and arrive in Datong.She has already read carefully that the train can stay in Beijing for 18 minutes.

It was these 18 minutes that made the sadness in her heart no longer so intense.Every year thereafter, she could meet him on the way home.she thinks.Although such an encounter, in a long life, it is so short, and it is so elusive.

In the first year after they separated, she took a 7-day long vacation and went home alone.She sent him a text message, telling him that the train will arrive at Beijing West Railway Station at 9 o'clock in the evening. If he is free, can he buy a platform ticket?Without waiting for his reply, she turned off the phone.She didn't dare to see his negative answer. She was afraid that in the year when he didn't see each other again, the warmth in his eyes would no longer be the same as before.Although, she didn't expect to relive the tenderness of the past.She just wanted to take a look at him, and with just one look, she could live a long and boundless secular life contentedly.

When the train slowly arrived at Beijing West Railway Station, she stood at the door, her eyes widened, and she nervously looked out the window at the crowds waiting to get on the train or pick up the station. For the first time into her dreaming eyes.Even if it was just a momentary glimpse, the train passed by mercilessly without stopping.

She was almost the first to jump off the train, floating restlessly among the crowd like a body without a soul.In her hand was a bag of fresh lychees, which she bought from the morning market before leaving.During the two months they were together, he used to buy lychees and walk around half of Beijing city every day, and gave them to her to eat.Now, she has to travel thousands of miles to give him lychees, and then peel them one by one for him to eat as he did before.

However, time passed by every minute and every second, but he still didn't appear.She turned on her phone and waited for a long time, but no text message rang.Vendors kept coming around and asking her if she wanted to buy specialties from Beijing to give to her family. In the hustle and bustle, she entered the familiar mobile phone number over and over again, but she never dialed it.

Just when the train was about to start in 2 minutes, he finally appeared in her field of vision.He was not as handsome as she imagined, and he didn't even have time to dress up, so he came to see her in a suit that didn't match well.It's only been a year, but he is obviously getting old, I don't know if it's because of lovesickness, or because of working hard for his family.

But her tears still flowed down when he was panting slightly and standing still.She suddenly couldn't find anything to say, until he gently wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes with his right hand, and said in a low voice, the child's mother is ill... I have kept you waiting for too long... She is in such words , I suddenly saw the distance between her and him clearly, and saw clearly this journey of love, they are just a scene of each other, except for passing by, they will never find a reason to stay.

Her heart just settled down like this.Under the conductor's urging, she peeled a lychee very gently and slowly, put it in his mouth, and said, "The train happened to pass by, so I want to see you, so take care of yourself."

She never looked back at him, she knew that there were tears in his eyes like hers.But she also knows that soon they will be gone on the journey, leaving only white salty crystals.

That is the taste of love on the way.

Turn around and forget the worthless tears.

I once had a relationship with a person that wasn't considered love, but just mutual affection, so I cared about each other, regarded the other person as my confidant, and liked to confide the little thoughts in my heart to him.He is also a good listener. When I am sad or troubled in love, he will lend his shoulder in due course, let me lean on it with confidence, and soak his newly bought shirt with tears flowing down.

Of course we are not each other's lovers, we know it is impossible to be together, and being confidant is the best choice, but when he goes to see different girls again and again, there will still be a cold and slightly sour pain in my heart, as if eating He picked up a green apricot that was just taken out of the refrigerator, and the traces of acid stretched from between the teeth to the deepest part of the stomach, and tied a knot there, becoming a cancer that could not be removed by surgery.

I remember one time when I was standing in the subway waiting for the bus, I received a text message from him, saying that on the way to meet a girl introduced by a friend, I wonder if I will fail again this time.My tears suddenly swarmed out, just like the crowd going up and down crazily when the subway stops.I just stood at the door of the subway, squatted down, and burst into tears.Many people crowded and collided indifferently around me. Occasionally, they would give me a blank stare and accuse me of blocking the door.But I didn't care about anything anymore, I just bit my fingers like that and cried in despair.

I never told him about this crying, I treated it as a treasure-like secret, and hid it in my heart, not showing it to anyone.Until one day, I discovered another secret.I found out from other people that the reason why he was close to me, to be my blue face, and willing to listen to my babbling, was because he found out that my uncle was an important person in charge of a unit, and he happened to be with me. This unit has an important cooperation project, and he needs to get what he wants from his uncle who holds real power.And I, at the right time, can become a useful chess piece for him, placed on the threshold that determines the direction of fate.

I didn't believe it at first, thinking that someone else was deliberately spreading rumors or spreading rumors.Then one day, there was a problem with the project he was in charge of. He suddenly changed his mobile phone number and cut off all contact with me. Evaporated from the world.

Sure enough, he never appeared in front of me again, and he didn't even give me an apology.I heard that he came back and reconnected some people, but he didn't think of me anymore, the evenings when I listened to his troubles, or the past when I leaned on his shoulder and cried to him.

This person has since become the lens cut out by indifference in the image of my life.When I was crying for him in the hustle and bustle of the subway, I used to think that this is a man who will be remembered forever, and I will miss him, just like missing another self.It is only now that I know that those tears and pain, when inspected by the hourglass of time, are actually insignificant and worthless.All the gorgeous and charming thoughts, stripped of their camouflage casings, turned out to be the core of the most vulnerable decay.

The tears that I treasured so hard are just a small joke that life has played on me.It turns and forgets, and I don't remember it anymore.

(End of this chapter)