Xiangmen Concubine: The Emperor's Abandoned Concubine

Chapter 769 I don’t know that I am a guest in my dream, but I am greedy for joy (7)

If someone asks me what is the saddest thing in this world, I will definitely tell him that it is love that cannot be obtained, cannot be obtained, cannot be forgotten, cannot be shaken off, and lasts a lifetime, the joy in dreams and the torment in reality...

That day, I was so drunk that I couldn't even walk, but I didn't know where to start with that girl with clean eyes.

After a lot of tossing, both losers.

Looking at the girl who was knocked unconscious by me involuntarily, I could only smile helplessly.

I can't control my heart. At this moment, I can't even control my body.Men and women love each other, but as a doctor, even if I have never touched it, I don't know how to get started?
But not her, because it is not her.

I closed my eyes bitterly, I hated myself at this moment.

Can't love, can't forget... Mianmian, what should I do?You tell me it's all over, but for me those days with you were almost yesterday.

In this way, after trying it once, I will not try it a second time.Because I know myself, if I can't do it once, I can't do it the second time.

It's not murder and arson, it's not scheming, because I love you, so I can't let go.

Mianmian, I love you.

But seeing your thoughts gradually shifting to Feng Jiuyou, I can only bear it secretly, pretending that I don't know anything.Even, I forced to avoid the opportunity to meet you face to face when I meet you again.

Even if I have to face to face, I will never look into your eyes again.

I failed your rare tenderness and ruined your trust in me.Mianmian, I never thought that I would spend my whole life to repay the one miss I made back then.

But the repayment in this life can't bring back our original beauty.

I looked at the blue sky and smiled, almost screaming up to the sky. If I had never got it, even if I lost it, I should not be so loving and unforgettable.But I used to be close to you, hand in hand to invite, and we can almost hold hands for a lifetime...

Losing after getting it is more painful than never getting it.

I began to study medicine day by day, and transferred all my energy to those unknown and mysterious worlds.I was shocked again when I heard you left the palace.

Feng Jiuyou, did he break your heart?

I thought, this time I really have a chance.Even if you don't forgive me now, even if you don't have me in your heart now, but this time you are in Yaowang Valley, if you don't want to go back, I will never let Feng Jiuyou take you away again.

I told Feng Jiuyou that I needed to take you back to Yaowang Valley to wait for the child to be born, but I actually had selfish motives.Medicine King Valley is really good for you now.You fell in love with him, but Concubine Qing has his child.

I originally thought of taking action to destroy the children in Concubine Qing's mansion, but after thinking about it carefully, why should I take action?The Gu family, Gu Qingyun, was so arrogant and domineering, and now that the court had come to him, and there was Gu Ruoying's affairs, Feng Jiuyou would definitely not keep the Gu family in power.

Even if Concubine Qing was pregnant, at most it was Feng Jiuyou's ecstasy soup poured into Gu Qingyun, which made him feel more at ease.

It's just Mianmian, it's been hard for you, you've already been tempted, with your temper, how can you tolerate Feng Jiuyou letting other women conceive his flesh and blood?Don't say that this child can't be born, as long as Feng Jiuyou touches her, you won't tolerate it.

Looking at the bitterness and stubbornness in your eyes, my heart began to ache again.Mian Mian, if you don't want to go back, if you want to leave his side, if you still want to continue to travel thousands of miles of rivers and mountains, I will still be by your side...

But I unexpectedly found out that Concubine Qing's child was not Feng Jiuyou's, but the child of a guard of their Gu family who followed her.That night, I sat alone under the moonlit night for a whole night.

My mind went blank, I didn't know what to think, or I didn't think about anything.

With the arrival of Xiao Jiujiu, you passed out after a narrow escape.I wish I could bear that pain for you, seeing Feng Jiuyou's love for you, seeing the pain and pity in his eyes, I don't know what it feels like in my heart.

Mianmian, your heart is getting farther and farther away from me.I understand myself better, if I look at Feng Jiuyou's love for you again, I can't help being impulsive and take you away.

Before you wake up, I decide to stay away from...

I'm in Nanjun, listening to the current emperor's love for the empress, there are three thousand in the harem, and there is only one person.

I was in Nanjun, flipping through medical books, listening to the servant girl at the door feel the root of her tongue, and the prince who was named His Royal Highness just after the full moon, what will he look like in the future, will he be as good-looking as the emperor, can he inherit the emperor's rule...

I hang my eyes and meditate in Nanjun, listening to all your stories.

Harmonious and beautiful, the husband sings and the wife follows...

Heart, a little bit of silence...

Until the news of your disappearance came, I couldn't sit still anymore, thinking about all kinds of possibilities, thinking about Princess Xi Rao I met when I returned to South County, and rushed directly to Xiliu Country.

In my life, the last thing I want to think about is the trip to Xiliu Country.Because there, it records your pain, your helplessness, and your longing...

Listening to all kinds of news about Miss Jun's family, and thinking about Nian Xizhen's various actions in recent years, I naturally knew that Junyin was you.I am a courtier of the Fengtian Dynasty, and I cannot enter Beijing without an imperial decree, and naturally I cannot leave without authorization.

Fortunately, I received Feng Jiuyou's letter from Feige on the way. I have been hiding behind the scenes, but secretly manipulated the hidden position, and cooperated with you to make the Xiliu Kingdom a mess.

Xiliu Kingdom's vitality was seriously injured, and Xiyu naturally needed time to tidy up. Feng Jiuyou took you, and Xiao Jiujiu, who was able to call the emperor's mother and queen, and the three of you returned to Jingling City.

I stood on a small hill, watching your carriage pass through the woods at the foot, listening to the joyful voice of a child in the carriage, the muscles all over my body were a little stiff, and the corners of my lips curled up, but I didn't know the curvature of the corners of my mouth. In the eyes of the original painting, it was uglier than crying.

Since then, there has been one more trouble behind me, Princess Xi Rao of Xiliu Kingdom.

I didn't think that everything would be settled here.Gu Qing'er died, and the Gu family collapsed. The gentle and elegant Fang Ziwei, who could bear it without moving, was naturally not a small character.

I watched her incessant small movements with cold eyes, thinking that as long as it doesn't hurt you, as long as it can make Feng Jiuyou a headache, I'll just turn a blind eye.

Yes, I'm jealous of Feng Jiuyou, I don't want him to live too comfortably.

Even, an idea popped up in my heart, a bold and almost uncontrollable idea.

Feng Jiuyou was able to get you, mostly because his domineering imprisoned your freedom, and because of his identity, you had to stay by his side.

And if the person sitting in that position is me, I am the ruler, and he is the subject, then Mianmian, the person who is by your side is me.

The happier Feng Jiuyou is, the more I can't control my jealous heart.There was obviously Feng Jiuyou who hurt you severely, but why was he the happiest one in the end?
I am not reconciled, really not reconciled!

Once the flame of jealousy is ignited, it is almost impossible to control it.The most difficult thing to control in one's life is one's own feelings.And a person's feelings come from the heart.

And my heart is now burned by the fire of jealousy, and I almost lost my mind.Later, when I think back on myself at that time, I can't help feeling afraid.

(End of this chapter)