Super self-control: not being a slave to habit

Chapter 14

Mental models refer to the assumptions, images and stories that are deeply rooted in our minds about ourselves, others, organizations and every aspect of the world around us, and are vividly compared to "mind maps".Mental models are deeply limited by habitual thinking, stereotyped thinking, and existing knowledge.It affects how we perceive, make decisions, and behave through our knowledge, beliefs, motivations, and ways of thinking about the world.

Peter Senge, author of "The Fifth Discipline," said: "Mental models are images, assumptions, and stories that are deeply embedded in our minds about ourselves, other people, organizations, and every aspect of the world. It is like a piece of Just as glass subtly distorts our vision, mental models determine how we see the world."

An alcoholic father has twin sons, one successful and the other impoverished 20 years later.The reporter interviewed them separately and asked them why they could live the life they have today.Their answers were all the same: "No way, who asked me to have such a father?"

The same origin often has different fates.Let me ask: Why do two people have completely different mentalities under the same conditions?The losers are not without the mentality of challenging fate, but they are obliterated by life.Why can successful people keep a good attitude for 20 years?
Going deeper into the mentality, we can see that the two have different assumptions about the world: who should take the main responsibility for their own life?If a person thinks: I am the master of my life, I cannot choose my origin, but I can choose my future life.Under this mental model, he will work hard to change the status quo, and eventually he will succeed.If a person thinks: I was born poor, my father was a failure, I will not be very successful.Therefore, he will accept poverty with peace of mind instead of changing it, and in the end, he will become that impoverished person.

Internal assumptions about who is responsible for my life lead to different attitudes towards setbacks: a positive attitude and a negative attitude.Therefore, in today's ever-changing world, our greatest challenge and threat is not external pressure and competition, but our inner patterns, which determine what we see, feel, think, and ultimately become. what kind of person.

A successful person once summed up the reasons why those people failed like this: You have learned the "attitude" of a successful person, but you still don't understand the mental model behind him.For example, if we only get the fish caught by others but not the fishing skills, then you still don’t know how to fish.

Through this book, you have generally mastered the methods of controlling people's body, spirit, emotions, and life, but if you don't use them, all previous efforts will be in vain.Now I will tell you a way to break free from the old thinking mode and change the way of thinking, feeling and behavior.

Mental model training can generally be done as follows:

(1) Slow down thinking: Slowing down the thinking process makes it easier for us to discover our mental models and how they affect our actions.We can find our own mental models using the methods in the left hand column. The "left hand column" is a powerful technique for beginning to "see" how your mental models work in a certain state. At the beginning of the "left-hand column", I choose a specific situation. In this situation, I feel that what I did at that time did not achieve any results, or I was very dissatisfied.On the right side of a piece of paper, record the actual process, and on the left side write each stage, what is in your mind but not expressed.

(2) Show your own mental model, and then accommodate other people's ideas with an open mind: When a person can bravely show his mental model, he will first state his views and reasons, and invite others with a sincere attitude. Members of the group examine their own mental models. In this harmonious atmosphere, each member of the group will open their hearts and inquire deeply into each other's views, and then discover new views, thus creating innovations.

Self-control expert hot comment
If we want to enter a higher level of life, we need to understand a truth: when our mental model is in line with the development of cognitive things, we can effectively guide our actions; otherwise, our good ideas will not be realized.Therefore, we dare to break the habit of thinking, perfect the unscientific part of the mental model, and upgrade our mental model, in order to truly change our inherent understanding, mentality and behavior.If you want to establish a new habit of thinking, you must understand the mental model behind your thinking.

Train your mental "muscles"

We all know that when you first start exercising in the gym, your muscles will feel tired, but after a period of time, it will become stronger and more powerful.Scientific research shows that the human brain can be strengthened through acquired training like a muscle.

There are many thinking training methods, among which chain thinking method, curved thinking method, concentrated thinking method and questioning thinking method are widely used.

First, chain thinking

The chain thinking method is in the form of a branch tree diagram. Firstly, various alternative answers or factors are designed to show the before and after connections between them, and then weighed from them.Everyone is applying the chain thinking method consciously or unconsciously, and it is a good helper to help us choose the optimal decision.

Here's a classic example of chain thinking:
There are a large number of deer living in the zoo of Neri New Nature Preserve in Alaska, USA.Local residents can often see wolves chasing the herd of deer to flee for their lives, and many deer were bitten bloody.In order to protect the herd of deer, the zoo carried out a large-scale encirclement and suppression of wolves.Soon, the wolves were wiped out.After the herd has no natural enemies, it lives very comfortably.They grazed and rested in the garden all day long, but their physique deteriorated and they died in groups.In order to prevent the deer from becoming extinct, the local residents invited famous animal experts to find a way.After observing the nature reserve for a period of time, animal experts actually transported some wolves to the reserve.The local residents were very puzzled. The deer were almost dead, and if some wolves were put in, wouldn't the deer die faster?However, the interpretation of animal experts is not the case.He said: "Every creature has natural enemies, which can maintain the good varieties of creatures through natural elimination and promote the survival and reproduction of creatures. This is the biological chain. Without natural enemies, the biological chain is destroyed, and the deer will naturally die. .”

This is chain thinking!

The key to chain thinking is to think that one thing and other things form a chain, and each thing is like a ring in the chain, connected from ring to ring.As long as one thing is mentioned, the second thing comes to mind, then the third, and always the last.Through a chain of associations, we can often connect unrelated things.At first, you may feel that the association is a bit laborious, but as long as you get used to it, this association can be completed in a short time.

Second, the curved thinking method

The curved thinking method is a kind of thinking that takes advance as retreat, breaks the fixed momentum of advance and actively retreats.This requires us to avoid thinking traps and turn our thinking around if we encounter resistance when thinking about problems.

On a stormy day, a beggar went to the landlord's house to beg for food.

"Go away!" said the servant of the landlord's house, "don't bother us."

The beggar said, "Just let me in and dry my clothes on your stove."

The servant thought: It doesn't cost anything, just let him in.The beggar went into the landlord's kitchen and asked the cook to give him a small pot so that he could "boil stone soup for drinking".

"Stone soup?" The cook didn't know that stones can make soup, so she said, "I want to see how you make soup with stones." So she brought a small pot for the poor man.

The beggar picked up a few stones, washed them, put them into the pot, and started cooking.

"But you must add some salt," said the cook.So she gave him some salt.Later, she gave peas, cabbage and other things.Finally, she put all the minced meat she could get her hands on into the beggar's soup.In this way, the poor man drank a pot of broth happily.

What would have happened if the beggar had started by saying to the servant: "Please! Give me a pot of broth, please."The poor use the method of curved thinking to get what they want.

Remember: To use curved thinking well, you must dare to cut off the mental set. When thinking about problems, you cannot be restricted by long-term psychological "strengths" or "weaknesses".

Third, convergent thinking

Convergent thinking, also known as convergent thinking or cluster thinking, is the thinking process of finding the best solution to a problem among the existing information.In the process of convergent thinking, in order to accurately find the best method or plan, it is necessary to comprehensively examine various thinking results and conduct comprehensive comparison and analysis.Therefore, comprehensiveness is an important feature of convergent thinking.Convergent synthesis is not a simple permutation and combination, but an innovative integration, that is, with the goal as the core, the original knowledge is purposefully selected and reorganized in terms of content and structure.

Pei Mingli of the Tang Dynasty was a capable man in business.Once, Pei Mingli saw a piece of land outside the Golden Light Gate, which was a large puddle, and the selling price was very cheap, so Pei Mingli bought it without hesitation.

Pei Mingli erected a large wooden pole in the middle of the big puddle, on which a bamboo basket was hung, and a notice was posted: Anyone who can hit the bamboo basket with stones, bricks and tiles will be rewarded with a hundred coins of copper money.

Who wouldn't love something so cheap?Adults and children rushed to the big puddle first, and stones, bricks and tiles were thrown at the bamboo baskets non-stop. However, the poles were high and the baskets were small, so not many people hit the bamboo baskets, but the water was quickly thrown away. The hole was filled.

After filling up the big puddle, Pei Mingli built a cowshed and a sheep pen on it for the use of merchants who sold cattle and sheep.Soon, the excrement of cattle and sheep piled up like a mountain, which was the "treasure" of nearby farmers' farming. Pei Mingli sold them to farmers and made a lot of money in a few years.Afterwards, Pei Mingli built a house on this land, planted flowers and plants around it, and built beehives...

Pei Mingli became a well-known wealthy gentry.

It turned out that Pei Mingli realized the potential value of the big water hole when he first saw the big water hole: it is located on a traffic artery, and it is the only way for merchants who sell livestock from south to north; The farmer's family, the farmer's family wants to cultivate the land, and the cultivation of the land is inseparable from "fertilization".This is the mystery why the big puddle can become a "treasure bowl".He uses the convergent thinking method.

When training convergent thinking, you might as well write down the ideas generated in divergent thinking, and then put together ideas with related content and close internal connections.Then, think carefully about its inner connection, and add the new ideas formed.Constantly adjusting and thinking in this way, our thoughts will gradually point to one direction from different directions when divergent thinking, and then point to a central point until we are satisfied.

Fourth, questioning thinking method

Questioning thinking method refers to the method of thinking about various problems with a suspicious and curious attitude.Awareness of the existence of problems is the starting point of thinking, and thinking without problems is superficial thinking.Only when there is a problem can we think, and only after thinking can we find a solution to the problem.Only when you feel the need to ask "why", "what" and "how to do" can your thinking be active and you can really think deeply.

Hilbert was a man with an unusually rich imagination and a good questioner.At the Second International Congress of Mathematicians in 1900, he made a report entitled "Problems of Mathematics", in which he raised 23 major problems in the field of mathematics at that time.These problems came to be known as "Hilbert problems".Their proposal has effectively promoted the development of mathematics.To this end, Hilbert concluded: "As long as a branch of science can ask a large number of questions, it is full of vitality, and the lack of questions heralds the decline or suspension of independent development."

It can be seen that the hunters who solve problems are masters who are good at asking questions. Therefore, you must develop the habit of asking "why" and "how" about everything.

In addition to the thinking training methods introduced above, there are many other methods.

In short, thinking training can greatly enhance your thinking ability, and you will no longer be helpless when facing problems and difficulties, and let the problems lead you.

Self-control expert hot comment
The "muscle" of thinking not only determines the improvement of the height of thinking, but also determines the extension of the breadth of thinking, thus affecting the speed of thinking to some extent.After thinking training, there will be room for significant improvement in human thinking ability and intelligence, and people's self-control ability will also be enhanced accordingly.

Improve subconscious thinking patterns
People's conscious thinking and subconscious thinking use the same thinking structure, which is the only powerful thinking carrier of the brain.Psychologists say that "conscious thinking is not free", in other words, "free will" is actually based on the subconscious mind.Numerous experiments and countless facts about the development of the subconscious mind have proven that if the conscious mind is a spotlight, the subconscious mind is its control device, determining when the light turns on and where to direct the beam.

In fact, the subconscious layer also uses the human thinking structure, but the way of controlling thinking is different.When people are conscious, they can deal with normal thinking relationships in order to realize the essence of human behavior.It means that the consciousness layer can correctly receive the reflected signals from people’s vision, hearing, and limbs, accept the perceived world, and issue correct instruction signals to the senses and limbs, so as to achieve a highly flexible coordination ability.

When entering the subconscious level, subconscious thinking basically replaces the thinking activities of people under conscious consciousness. Subconscious thinking is to close all the processing of receiving and sending signals from people's vision, hearing, and limbs.At this time, the subconscious mind is in a highly active state, processing the content of the brain's thinking during the day, after sorting and filtering, the useless information is cleared, and the information organized through the subconscious mind will be clearer, making the next day's thinking more sharp, In order to achieve efficient thinking work during the day.

These characteristics of subconscious thinking tell us that the power of subconscious thinking is very powerful, but it is not easy for us to perceive.Many thinking activities are carried out unconsciously.It is not for no reason that you usually say the wrong thing or say something wrong. The subconscious makes you say what you don't want to say.There are also typos in writing. Many people have some habitual typos in writing. When they were young, they made mistakes in their subconscious mind. They often make mistakes in the future and it is not easy to correct them.In some emergency situations, people will take immediate action without thinking, which depends on the role of the subconscious mind.For example, the hero rushes up regardless of safety because the altruistic values ​​have become his subconscious.The irrational and fanatical behavior of some members of the cult is due to fallacies and heresies that have become his uncontrollable subconscious.When I was drunk, I lost the ability to consciously control, and involuntarily said some things that were suppressed in my heart. I usually say the truth after drinking, which is subconscious thinking.

A rich man is too greedy for money, he only asks for everything and refuses to give.One day he fell into the river, and the people on the boat stretched out their hands to him and said to him, "Give me your hand." But the rich man still refused to stretch out his hand, struggling desperately in the water.At this time, a person who knew the rich man said to him: "Please hold my hand." At this time, the rich man, who was almost dying, tried his best to grab it, but unfortunately sank due to exhaustion.

The rich man in the story is actually subconsciously implementing his own mindset stubbornly.Ask yourself, do we also have such a rich man's mentality?If you don't have strong self-control, you can't break through the shackles of your subconscious mind.

Therefore, we have to train the ability to control the subconscious mind so that it serves our success instead of leading us to failure.So, how to develop and utilize the subconscious mind, improve the subconscious level thinking mode, and make our thinking more accurate, comprehensive and profound?
First, turn off the good information
(End of this chapter)