Love the disabled husband alone

Chapter 7

During dinner, Yuan Zhixuan didn't leave the room, but asked Yan Qing to take him to the room. Wang Yan felt that he was deliberately avoiding himself, and felt a little uncomfortable. He simply ate something and went back to the room. go.

In a few days, it will be the fifteenth day. Although the moon outside is not very round, it is already mostly round. In the modern city, it is no longer possible to see a very bright moon. The moonlight outside the window shines in. Wang Yan suddenly I just thought of that poem, 'Looking up at the bright moon, looking down at my hometown', it really fits the occasion. Even she, who has always looked down on ancient poetry, felt sad. She didn't know how her parents were, so she disappeared so suddenly. They, what should they do, she still has a little savings, if she can't go back in this life, it should be regarded as an inheritance, and it should be given to them, but she usually communicates with them less, and she doesn't know what they know have no idea.

Wang Yan, who is very rational, had a rare feeling of homesickness, so he simply opened the door to admire the moon. The moon in ancient times was really big, round and bright. Wang Yan stared blankly, sometimes thinking about her relatives in modern times, sometimes Thinking about those myths and stories I have heard, I just thought about it for a long time, but I didn’t worry about what my life would be like in ancient times. In modern times, I was busy working all day long. She really didn't think about getting a strong woman to do it, probably because she felt in her heart that she would go back one day, and this place was after all a temporary resting place.

"Zi"

With the sound of the door opening gently, Wang Yan turned her head. It turned out that Yuan Zhixuan opened the door and was sitting in a wheelchair. , making him look particularly lonely, Wang Yan suddenly remembered what Yan Qing said during the day:
——Actually, I know, it’s not that he doesn’t care
——He was already desperate for himself and had no hope, so he just pretended to smile in relief

At this moment, Yuan Zhixuan stared blankly, not noticing that there was another person silently looking at him on the other side, although he felt immersed in his own thoughts, he had insomnia tonight, how long had he not suffered from insomnia again, It's been more than two years, those memories that he deliberately suppressed, flooded out again:
— I'm sorry, General, we did our best

— I'm sorry, General, there's nothing I can do
——Zhixuan, don’t worry, I will definitely find the best doctor to treat you, and you will be fine
——Zhixuan, I’m sorry, it’s all because of me

——My lord, don’t say that, this is my voluntary and has nothing to do with you

——How could it have nothing to do with me, you did it to save me
--do not talk
——General, I only have one daughter, she is my treasure, I don’t want to be rich, I only want her to be happy
——About the marriage contract between our two families, the old man hopes... the general can withdraw the engagement

--it is good
——General Yuan, I, I like you, but I'm sorry
--nothing

The expression of the doctor shaking his head and sighing, the expression of disappointment and guilt of his friend, and the woman who looked at him with admiration all the time and was the fastest to hide after learning that she was paralyzed. She was as proud as him. Be paralyzed, he doesn't need sympathetic eyes, so he hid here, avoiding his guilty friends, he thought this would be like this for the rest of his life, but why, why did God suddenly drop a woman down, this woman, is it Such a difference, never looking at him with sympathetic eyes made him inexplicably moved, but the words and expressions of the woman from before were still in his mind, he really couldn't imagine, if Wang Yan knew what was going on in his mind , do you think he is whimsical? After all, now he is a 'disabled person'.

Unconsciously, he recalled the occasional conversation yesterday. He just knew that Wang Yan was going to cook and was very curious, because she didn't seem like a woman who could cook. At least he thought she should be something like a young lady. So I wanted to see how she cooks, but I heard her remarks:
Even if his legs cannot walk, this does not mean that he is a disabled person. In my hometown, there are many disabled people. They have made greater achievements than normal people. Some people lost their legs, but they used their hands to create innumerable wealth. Some people were completely paralyzed, but they wrote books that shocked the world by dictating to others... …So, it doesn’t matter if a person is physically disabled, the most important thing is whether he has a disability in his heart. If he is disabled in his heart, then there is really no way to save him. , He can do things that make normal people feel admirable.

He had never heard such remarks before, and he was so shocked for a moment that he almost wanted to rush forward and ask: Really?Is everything you said true?Do you really think so?

However, in the end he went back to his room silently, thinking about his words silently, he didn't dare to ask, he didn't have confidence, the next day, for some reason, he asked her to check himself, every time before As soon as the doctor touched his leg, he felt that they were pitying him and was very disgusted, but he didn't feel anything about her. Moreover, he also found that he had thoughts about her that he shouldn't have. His eyes were so clear, it was obvious that he only regarded himself as a patient, but as for himself, for a moment, he even felt that he was dirty, that he was a super bad man, he shouldn't have such thoughts.

Wang Yan looked at Yuan Zhixuan, he was always immersed in his own thoughts, he didn't notice himself, maybe it was an illusion, she seemed to see not only loneliness from him, but also - low self-esteem.

self-abasement?She doesn't know about his past, but she has seen many medical cases. In his case, it is easy to have psychological problems, and low self-esteem is a very common problem. Physical disabilities make many people feel that they are Shorter than others, especially in ancient times, people's understanding is not as advanced as modern people. Seeing such a situation, they must not know how to consider other people's feelings. For a disabled person, sympathy is pitiful. Looking at him, it would be more uncomfortable than killing him, maybe, what should she do, Wang Yan made a decision in her heart.

The next day, after breakfast, Yuan Zhixuan would go back to the study to practice calligraphy or read according to his usual habits. Seeing that he was about to leave, Wang Yan hurriedly stopped him without asking for his opinion, and said directly, "Zhixuan, The weather is fine today, why don't we go to the yard to bask in the sun?"

(End of this chapter)