Joy and peace in the last days

Chapter 9

There is only one reason why Su Ping'an reacted so strongly to Song Xile's affairs: his experience of being abandoned since he was a child, coupled with the bumpy emotional experience of his adoptive mother Song Xi, led to his unusual emotional outlook.

To put it simply: he doesn't believe in feelings, but only in habits and dependence.This is also the fundamental reason why he ignores the objections of his neighbors and friends and pampers Song Xile without limit. He wants Song Xile to depend on him, preferably so dependent that he cannot leave him at all.

Su Pingan is not a person who likes to be alone, and what he can't accept is being abandoned, but just like Song Xile doesn't believe in people, he doesn't believe that there is really someone who can stay with him forever, Song Xizeng is the only exception.

So Song Xi's departure exacerbated his fear, and the appearance of the baby Song Xile gave him an opportunity: he had the opportunity to cultivate a person who was completely dependent on him according to his own ideas, or to cultivate a person who could not leave. , let alone those who cannot abandon him.

But he didn't want to cultivate a lover. With Song Xi's precedent, Su Pingan didn't have the slightest interest in love, even hated it, at least he didn't believe it, so he never thought of falling in love and getting married for so many years.

In fact, he only wanted to be Song Xile's father, her closest person and only family member, so when Song Xile asked not to go to school, even though he knew it shouldn't be, he still agreed to her request.

He couldn't lie to himself, he was actually very happy when Song Xile made this request.

And he couldn't even deny that agreeing to Lele not to go to school but choosing to study with him at home was indeed a consideration to prevent Song Xile from being too close to her peers, which would affect his status or importance in her mind.

Su Pingan knew that in fact, he had never been a good person.

So, in terms of their personalities, in a sense, Su Ping'an and Song Xile are the two people who shouldn't be living together.

Su Ping'an is afraid of being abandoned, while Song Xile's spiritual practice is to explore a wider world, and she will inevitably leave in the end; similarly, Song Xile finds it difficult to trust people, because she believes that people are full of exploits and conflicts. Calculation, but Su Ping'an's adoption and upbringing of her has been selfish from the very beginning. Although this will not harm her in the slightest, it is also a kind of use in the final analysis.

Moreover, the two have contradictory views on many things. The simplest example is about Su Ping'an's name. Although the two have reached a consensus in practice, they have no understanding of each other's real thoughts.

Song Xile doesn't want to be called Su Ping'an's father, because she thinks it's only natural for a father to treat her children well, and Su Ping'an actually doesn't have such a close relationship with her, but he has no selfishness and reservations towards her. of.

Moreover, she was unwilling to use her father's responsibility to tie Su Pingan by her side, and she subconsciously hoped that Su Pingan would not be so kind to herself under the moral pressure without her father's responsibility...

That way, when the time comes, Song Xile will be able to leave without worries and guilt, but Su Pingan has shown rare tolerance and perseverance in doting on Song Xile, and Song Xile has fallen into the trap unknowingly. Now, I am enjoying the present life more and more, enjoying the feeling of being pampered by Su Ping'an.

She has been wondering, will she really be willing to leave this man after breaking through Xiao Jingtian?Although she kept saying that she would leave when the time came, Song Xile knew that it was almost impossible for her to leave without hesitation.

But the meaning of the word "father" is completely different to Su Ping'an.

In his bones, he doesn't trust the relationship between people. The only thing that makes him feel safe is the family relationship cultivated since he was a child, just like he and Song Xi.

Let each other be the same existence as the other's breath. Although it is inconspicuous, it cannot be far away for a moment.

When Song Xile called out the word "Dad" for the first time, he felt that he had succeeded, and also felt a peace that he had never had before. This feeling was unique, and even Song Xi had never been able to give him.

The word "father" represents Song Xile's approval of their relationship.

So when the white, soft and glutinous little Lele said to Su Ping'an in a crunchy childlike voice: "Dad, I don't want to call you Dad. Everyone has a dad. I want to call you Ping'an, only me! Okay?" ?” At that time, Su Pingan didn’t feel moved, on the contrary, his heart was full of fear and uneasiness.

He didn't know why Song Xile had such an idea, he just felt pessimistically that this was a harbinger of their separation in the future...

Song Xile will never know that just because of her own willful request, Su Pingan has brought long-term uneasiness and fear, and made Su Pingan treat her desperately in the days to come.

With his meticulous care and selfless devotion, Su Pingan created a family trap for Song Xile that was difficult to escape. Song Xile fell, but Su Pingan succeeded.

But he forgot that he got into it one step earlier than Song Xile.

The two people who should never have been able to live in harmony in the first place, because of Su Ping'an's sudden thought, finally became the most inseparable relatives and friends after 14 years.

So when Su Pingan rushed out, Song Xile didn't intend to stop him at all, because she firmly believed that Su Ping'an would come back soon, and he would never just leave her alone!As if I couldn't abandon him.

Sure enough, Su Pingan did not disappoint her. He went home that night. Although he was still a little depressed, he was not as flustered as he was when he left in a hurry in the afternoon, even!He also got some fresh greens from nowhere!

"I don't care who you were before, since I adopted you, you are my daughter and always will be! In this situation, we can't be separated no matter what. I am your father, and that will never change Yes!" Afraid that Song Xile would say that he was going to leave, Su Pingan would preemptively strike as soon as he entered the door.

"Safe? Dad! I am the same. No matter who I was before, no matter what abilities I have, you will always be my only dearest person! You will never leave me! So, can you old man Calm down, don't be angry with me again?"

Song Xile looked at Su Ping'an's serious expression after he said something just now, and suddenly realized that this idiot is so timid!Then give him a promise, anyway, human life is very short, so it's okay to stay with him for the rest of his life... right?

"Nonsense! Of course Dad won't abandon you, Dad, Dad is just a little... a little scared, are you still having a fever?" Su Pingan obviously couldn't ignore Song Xile's obviously rosy and abnormal face, and asked anxiously road.

"Well, don't worry about being safe. Didn't I already tell you that this isn't illness? It's because I'm going to break through to the highest level of spiritual practice, so we can't move. I want a quiet and familiar environment as much as possible for these two days Come and constantly adjust my cultivation to make them reach the most stable and perfect level. After I finish, I can have a space that belongs to me, and I can refine all things in the world, oh, animals can’t..."

"Then what is dad going to do?"

"Ping An only needs to be with me. With Ping An by my side, I can practice with peace of mind. It will take at least two days, and at most no more than five days. I will definitely succeed!"

Not wanting to make Su Ping'an worry too much, Song Xile ignored the possible impact of failure, but she also believed that with Su Pingan by her side, she would be able to succeed.

Su Ping'an will definitely bring Song Xile peace, definitely.

Because, joy and peace.

(End of this chapter)