Alternative Telling of Dream of Red Mansions: Cherishing Spring

Chapter 14
Right now, she was hurting her heart, and she smiled lightly, and comforted Tanchun in turn: "Do everything according to God's will, and you will do your best. After all, this is not the reason why I married you."

Taking a breath, Mother Jia looked at Daiyu again, her eyes full of bitterness.In fact, both Baoyu and Xichun are okay, only the sick and weak girl Lin is her real knot.So she sighed: "Just for Lin girl, I have to hold on. Although the fourth girl is unbearable, there is a place to turn around. Now this girl doesn't even have a home, and the world can only rely on me. I once dead, I don’t know how much bullying she will suffer.”

Tanchun was sad, bowed his head and remained silent.This is the difference between Jia Mu and Mrs. Wang.Both are love, however, one is selfless and the other is selfish.She didn't know if she could be so open-minded at the age of Jia Mu.She knelt down at the old man's knees, prostrated herself in front of the Buddha for a long time, sincerely, as if with the most pious heart.

There is no desire in the heart, only respect.

Mother Jia didn't ask someone to pull her up, because Tanchun left soon, needless to say why.

After Tanchun left, I saw Mother Jia humming, and slowly laying down, her face was several times grayer than before.Everyone rushed forward in a panic, Yuanyang hurriedly brought ginseng soup, Jiamu drank it, and then she recovered, and ordered Li Wan to pass the rice.On the couch, she stretched out her hands to hold Xichun and Daiyu, and said with tears, "With me here, don't be afraid."

Xichun and Daiyu are ice-snow and smart, and in the blink of an eye they already understood Jiamu's intentions—Tanchun and Mrs. Wang were close, if she said that the old lady was okay, those who were jealous had to slow down.Then, their two young eggs can survive for a while.There are many words and many things that cannot be said directly, but must be conveyed unintentionally through Tanchun.Having figured it out, both of them were startled, one heart was as cold as ice and snow, and they couldn't help crying.This cry is the cuckoo's cry of blood, desolate and shocking.They are obviously a family, but they still have to put on a show with all their might, obviously it's not enough if they don't do it.

Life is like paper, and it can't be broken, it's cold and thin, what can I say?And the world is desolate, the wind is raging and snowing, who is the pillar that can be relied on?When Nu Wa created humans, everyone was fused together.Since when, there was a huge gap between us that seemed to be after the earthquake of the earth's crust, thousands of ravines, full of enthusiasm.And gradually around, so desolate.

That night Xichun left earlier than Daiyu.Ruhua came to pick her up, holding a cloak, saying that it is windy at night, so the girl should put it on.Xichun looked at her gratefully.Ru Hua also happened to look at her, and both of them laughed.Ruhua still treats her wholeheartedly. After returning to the East Mansion, Xichun is not good at asking so many people, so Ruhua is the first to return to her. This seems to outsiders to be Zhaojun asking for trouble.

Before Xichun went out, Yuanyang rushed out through the curtain, smiled and said to Xichun: "The ancestor ordered me to give the girl a ride."

Xichun said nothing, looked sideways at the room, and asked lightly, "Is Sister Lin still in there?"

Yuanyang smiled and said: "Isn't it? Her body is getting weaker and weaker. The old lady dare not put her next to others. She just sleeps with her. The grandparents and grandchildren have endless things to say."

Xichun nodded, Yuanyang accompanied her all the way, and the night was no longer brightly lit like before.The long halls and corridors are all dark and plunged into darkness.Walking on the road, there are only sporadic lights waiting ahead. It looks like looking into the distance from the sea. Where the sky and water meet, there are faint stars, flickering like dying candles.As they were talking, they suddenly saw a black shadow, Xichun and Yuanyang spoke engrossedly, and Ruhua walked behind, all three of them were startled.Seeing clearly that it was a shadow wall, they all laughed.Smiling and laughing, the smile disappeared accidentally, leaving only an empty shell hanging on his face.Xichun and Yuanyang looked at each other, looked at each other's face, and couldn't help shaking their heads, it would be fine if there was a mask hanging on their face, now that it is unobstructed, they can clearly see that there is only bitterness on the other's face and tears in their eyes.

Walking silently with her head down, when she was about to reach the door, Yuanyang said shyly, "Since the ancestors have made it clear, it's better for the girl to make plans early."

Xichun was grateful, bowed slightly and said, "Thank you, sister, for your suggestion." Yuanyang nodded, tears streaming down her face.Without waiting for Xichun to send it off, I turned around and left.Xichun saw that her shoulders were trembling and she was crying as she walked, obviously she was extremely sad.She can only cry when no one is around, and cannot show the old man her cold tears.Tears can sometimes make people die faster.

"Miss, are you cold?" After a long time, Xichun heard Ruhua asking her.When she came back to her senses, she found that her body was shaking violently, as if a restless beast was hidden in it.The beast was biting her, causing her unbearable pain.At some point, the moon came out, and Xichun's heart was cold and stinging. She didn't want to look at it, but couldn't help but stare blankly for a while.But the moon is not a bright moon, hidden in the dark clouds, a ray of light is bright, a large area is dark, shadowy, and the moonlight is like a broken ancient artifact. It is not interesting, but just sad.

Lowering her head and looking back, Xichun turned around and walked into the car without waiting to be reminded by the painting.The two pieces of paper I kept in my arms were already warm when I took them out at home.Going to sleep in the painting, Xichun leaned on the bed and twiddled the 2 taels of bank notes, feeling tense and relaxed for a while, as if the strings of the lute were out of tune—it was the old lady's private savings, and I gave her some.According to the old lady, her father also left a piece of money for her as a dowry.It's just that most of the money is gone.Xichun thought of the empty envelope, maybe it was the lost secret, but it was useless even if she knew about it, without an obvious will, it was impossible for Jia Zhen to give her the money.According to the current situation, even if you have it, you can't get it. Most of the money has been squandered.

Back in Dongfu, Xichun couldn't sleep, the numbness and indifference in her heart was indescribable.The problems that had plagued her for a long time reappeared, and she always suffered from insomnia.What about practicing Zen and reading scriptures all day long? The teachings of all Buddhist scriptures deepen her spiritual core, and then fill it with water, so that she can be stable and quiet.Zen meditation is like a gentle plant, gradually spreading her heart, like a green shade expanding rapidly, helping her avoid the hot sun and wind, and endure endless loneliness and pain.But so what?These benefits cannot be passed on to others.She has realized it, but it does not mean that others have also realized it. She doesn't mind Jia Zhen's various injustices to her, and she doesn't mind that they used her money and overdrawn her future--it doesn't matter, life needs it sometimes, She can take it easy.But as for Jiamu, can she let go so easily?An old man, a loving and kind old man, perhaps the only warmth and trust she has left in this world, is about to let go at this moment, and should she turn a deaf ear to it?

If you advise yourself to let go, seeing through is escaping from reality and numb yourself, but so what if you don’t let go?Seeing that the vine of life has slipped off the cliff, even if she is willing to reach out to grab it, and is willing to exchange one life for another, there will eventually be a mysterious power to make her live safely and tell her that life, old age, sickness and death are the eternal will of God. The cycle of seasons is irreversible.

She only looked at the sky, the previous round of moon finally came out from the bottom of the cloud, and there was a glimmer of light in the bottom of the cloud.That light is like the light in the eyes of the ancestors, weak and self-supporting, but it will go out soon.The sky is dim, that is for sure.

Yes, she knows.Finally, she fell asleep sleepily. In the dream, the moisture all over her body accumulated in her eye sockets and burst out. She was finally able to relax and cry.

This should be a bad omen, whether it is her catharsis in her dream at night, or Jiamu's imminent danger during the day.The old lady's health finally declined to the stage of unbearable, the big house that had been cold for a long time in those few days was bustling, there was a constant stream of people visiting the sick, and the lantern festival was like a steady stream.The people in Jia's house, who have been depressed for a long time, haven't been so excited for a long time.

Xichun came late that day, and when she walked to Jiamu's place, she found that there was some quarrel at the door. Yuanyang seemed relieved to see her, and waved from a distance.Xichun had no choice but to walk over, Yuanyang smiled and said, "Miss, come and accompany the eldest lady for me..."

When Xichun heard that Mrs. Xing was there, she didn't dare to be negligent, so she hurriedly stepped forward to rescue Yuanyang, helped Mrs. Xing to sit in the wing room, and half-truthfully annoyed Yuanyang: "What's going on with you? Da Niang is so angry!" Yuanyang is so smart, she naturally smiled apologetically and brought tea with her own hands.

Mrs. Xing had a bit of a grudge against Xichun because of the incident with Wang Shanbao's family last time, but today she saw that Xichun was willing to offend Yuanyang for her, which was a bit of a surprise, and thinking that Xichun had been with the old lady for a long time recently, she couldn't help but give her some face.At that moment, she left the mandarin ducks behind and complained to Xichun Xuxu wholeheartedly: "What's the reason for this? When she comes, she will greet her with a slavish face, put her face on the ground and let her step on it, and when I come, I will make things difficult for her in every possible way."

As soon as Xichun heard it, she knew she meant Mrs. Wang.Both of them are elders, she can't say anything, so she can only comfort her in small words.Yuanyang sees that Xichun is holding Mrs. Xing steady, and wants to leave, but is grabbed by Mrs. Xing.Xichun wanted to pull her back, but how could she hold her back? Mrs. Xing slapped Yuanyang across the face, and spat: "You little bitch who only picks tall branches, I see you can be a third wife tomorrow?" In the old days, not only mandarin ducks, even Xichun turned pale.

On a different day, the mandarin ducks also started arguing, but she was worried about Jia Mu's illness, so how dare she speak up?Even crying was sobbing, sobbing, "It's not that I won't let you in, it's just that this morning, people came and went, and just now the old ancestor said that the second wife is not allowed to enter again." Mrs. Xing had a fit, Just now Ken Ansheng sat down, turned his face sideways, and put his eyes out of the mandarin ducks, but he was talking to the man in the house, and said in a hateful voice: "The legs are long, and there is an internal response! Every time she is a trick, you are so happy to be good!" "

Xichun took the opportunity to pass the handkerchief to Yuanyang, and asked Ruhua to take her to freshen up.Xichun walked up to Yuanyang and persuaded her in a low voice: "You still don't go to wash up. If you look like this, your ancestors will be suspicious and angry again. Isn't it suitable for your body?" .

Here, Xichun had to concentrate on dealing with Mrs. Xing, and the two of them agreed with each other, but they chatted harmoniously.Although the several rooms are far away, they are not separated, and you can still see the maidservants passing tea and water in and out.After a while, she saw someone coming out from the other side of the room, and Mrs. Xing rushed to meet her. Only then did Xichun realize that the lady in front of her was in Cao Ying's heart, and she didn't relax her vigilance and attention to that side.

Xichun originally thought there was another trouble, so she clenched the handkerchief tightly, thinking anxiously.However, the lady in front of her is used to having fun in small scenes, and once she gets serious, she will inevitably become a little heroic.When she was really face to face with Mrs. Wang, Mrs. Xing softened, the powerful gun went silent, and not a single spark came out, she just asked: "How is the old lady?"

"It's okay for the time being." Mrs. Wang sighed, and greeted her modestly, with a sad but gentle voice.The circles of her eyes were slightly red, it was obvious that she was crying with all her heart just now, but her heart was all her heart, it's hard to say how much sincerity was soaked in those tears.

The two wives struck up a conversation, and Mrs. Wang led the others away first.She advanced and retreated well, Mrs. Xing didn't ask anything, and she didn't hold on to any excuses, standing there in a dilemma.

What is the contest between women and women?Self, family background, family, husband, children, these are all bargaining chips.However, she has been in complete defeat. Mrs. Wang's family background is far superior to hers, and her upbringing since childhood makes her calm and calm even when she is sad. This elegance makes Mrs. Xing extremely jealous.And her husband Jia Zheng, her daughter, her son, even her concubine became a princess, but her concubine Yingchun married a worthless thing.Naturally, Yingchun couldn't control that person.Yingchun is a clay bodhisattva, a person who cannot protect himself.

Everything about her makes her jealous.She is so lucky that Mother Jia still favors her.Mrs. Xing's eyes were burning red with jealousy.However, she thought about it and left, there was no point in wasting energy here.If you can't do it today, come tomorrow morning.Although she doesn't have a precious jade in her hand, she has to share some to be reconciled.

Xichun heard her squeeze out a sentence: "She is dead, I think the gold mountain she gave can kill you! It's better to kill you to be clean!"

Although the words were light, they were cold and hard enough.When Xichun heard it from behind her, she was not surprised.These people are here for the money.After waiting for others, she went to Jiamu's main room.

That afternoon, when Xichun was going back to Dongfu, Lai Yier brought a car to pick her up.Because of the close distance, Xichun looked at him for the first time.She had heard about this man for a long time, and he was the proud person next to Jia Zhen.Xichun knows what the so-called "satisfied person" is.The outsiders have a little misunderstanding, thinking that everyone's daughter must be delicate, ignorant of human affairs, and weak in mind.Naturally there is no shortage of such people, but most of them are shrewd and mature, such as Wang Xifeng, because learning to survive in a cramped and complicated environment does not require less effort than Shen Yong's outside world.Day after day, my mind is getting more and more satisfied, and because of the rigorous family education, I know how to hide it better.Even for the affairs of men and women, I am not surprised, such as Cui Yingying who brings her own pillow and mat.What they can't touch are only those men who are lower than themselves.Or we can say, this is to follow the etiquette.What is lacking is just an ordinary person's common sense of life and the sense of crisis in life.

The prosperity of masculinity, this dynasty can be regarded as the leader of all dynasties.This is already a habit shared by the entire royal family and eunuchs, and it has existed since thousands of years ago. Because it is too long, it is more like a dark flower that never fades on a silk robe, bright and gloomy but not obtrusive.

Xichun is a person as calm as water, her heart lake is frozen.When she looked at this man, she had a rough outline in her heart at the touch of a touch: his face had lost its youthful look, but the softness had gradually disappeared, and his brows appeared to be straight.He slowly turned towards a man, the corners of his mouth were firm, his eyes were clear and purposeful, and he looked stable.

Standing in front of him, Xichun didn't point out her feelings: this man has great ambitions, but he conceals it well, he looks like a loyal housekeeper.Seeing her looking at him, Lai Yi'er didn't shy away from it, instead he hesitated a bit, took two steps back and let Xi Chun get into the car.

She was even more surprised when she entered the painting, she looked at Xichun and couldn't figure out her intentions.Xichun quickly got into the car, drew down the curtain, and stopped looking at him.She feels very tired.Convinced that Jiamu was about to die, she became weak and weak, and wanted to shrink into a mound where no one would disturb her, and bury everything.

She felt that she was going to collapse, she leaned her head lightly on Ru Hua, closed her eyes, and asked half dreamily, "How did you meet him?"

Startled by the painting, he lowered his face, remained silent for a while, and answered clearly: "He is my cousin, it's true..."

"Well... keep talking, don't stop." Xichun didn't open her eyes.She felt that the eyelids were very heavy, as if they were stuck, and there was a vague fear in her heart, and the shadow of death did not know when to attach to the wall of her heart.She remembered that once a person dies, they will lose all their voices. She feels that her strength is gradually disappearing, like life is draining from her heart, and her fear is getting bigger and bigger. She is eager to hear people's voices.

Ruhua took a look at her, Xichun closed her eyes, this kind of indifference allowed Ruhua to talk about it in a relaxed way.The car swayed, and the voice of the painting rose and fell all the way: "We were engaged, and then his family fell into trouble, and my parents regretted the marriage. I was too young at that time, and I didn't know how to resist my parents' will, and I didn't want to resist, because my parents gave me enough comfort. Warm, greedy for peace, so I accepted the arrangement with peace of mind. But then the family fortune also declined, and I was bought by the mansion and assigned to the girl."

Entering the painting, I feel that Xichun is nodding.So she went on to say that it was a matter of exceeding the etiquette, but she also knew that Xi Chun would not blame her back then, and she would not blame herself now.

"...After that day, he bribed the woman in the garden to meet me. Although it was short, he knew that this man was brave enough, and he also knew that it would not be easy for him to let go of his old grudges and meet me..."

Ruhua accepts Lai Yi'er without force. When he meets him again in the world, he is already alone and unaccompanied, so the warmth and benefits from the other side are magnified, and he is gently attracted.

Ruhua said, recalling memories, she smiled, her gentle and sweet smile hovered between her brows like a butterfly flying from among the flowers: "He is willing to accept me, so I will follow. It’s better to respect your own choice than to match it with a kid,” she said.

Yes, marriage is based on unfounded trust, and it is also a bet.It is undoubtedly safer to choose someone you know well than to face someone who knows nothing.Ruhua believes that Lai Yier also has the same idea.She was weak and confused when she was young, but she was finally able to clearly distinguish needs when she was older, and she really made a decision.

Xichun's consciousness is becoming more and more blurred, she seems to have fallen into a deep hole, getting farther and farther away from the light.His throat screamed, but it turned out to be just a vague moan.

Hearing the sound of entering the painting, she held her face, and she found that Xichun had a fever and was slightly unconscious.

She kept urging Lai Yier to return to the East Mansion quickly.

(End of this chapter)