Alternative Telling of Dream of Red Mansions: Cherishing Spring

Chapter 46
Seeing that Xichun regards herself as a stranger, Feng Ziying can't help but collapse.Seeing that Xichun's expression didn't look like a fake, he reluctantly said: "It's okay... Yu Bo told me. I'll just wait." Xichun nodded, served him tea, Fu Yifu said: "You Sit down, I'm going back inside."

Seeing her turning around to enter, Feng Ziying felt flustered for a moment, and opened her mouth and said, "Unfortunately... wait..."

Xichun turned her head to look at him, saw that his expression was extremely sad, so she stopped, came back and asked, "What's wrong with you?"

Feng Ziying looked at her and couldn't say a word, which surprised him so much!Xichun will be at Zhang Youshi's house, so how can she not recognize herself? Is she pretending, or has she really lost her memory?He didn't dare to think about it, and he had to wait for Zhang Youshi to come back and ask about it.He has experienced many major events these days, and his mood has calmed down a lot.In order not to startle Xichun, he didn't dare to speak too much, restrained himself, sat down on the chair and said: "I'm very uncomfortable, please don't go in, just sit there and watch me from a distance."

Xichun hesitated for a moment, seeing Feng Ziying's face was pale and sweating profusely, and she had learned some superficial medical skills with Zhang Youshi these days, and seeing that he was definitely not pretending to be sick to deceive her, she sat down beside her and said, "I'll be watching by the side." you."

Feng Ziying saw that although her tone was extremely gentle, she was very polite. Whether she pretended not to recognize him or if she really lost her memory, it made his life worse than death.

Chen Yejun's words rang in his ears again: "Fourth Master told you to die." Feng Ziying's thoughts were all hopeless at this time, but his heart was unexpectedly relaxed and clear. He knew that he had reached a dead end, and death was a matter of time. Now Xichun forgot about it. Even if she lost him, she wouldn't be sad for him if she didn't remember him.Forget about these entangled things, he is just a stranger when he dies, and has nothing to do with her.

He suddenly felt that there was no need to wait for Zhang Youshi to come back and ask questions.When he walked in just now, he had already seen the answer. The relaxed smile on Xichun's face was something that had never appeared before with him.She is living contentedly and safely now, so why should he break the peaceful life she has been pursuing for a long time in the name of loving her, and force her to remember herself?

Feng Ziying thought, struggled to get up, looked at Xichun with a slight smile and said: "I'm going, you follow sir." He looked deeply into her eyes, after experiencing so many troubles, Xichun's eyes are still the same as before It was so clear and bright when he first saw it.No, after so many things, her eyes seem to be clearer and brighter, and they are more persistent in them.

He finally couldn't help stretching out his hand to caress her eyes, without saying a word for a long time.

Xichun was startled by his behavior, she stayed there without saying a word or moving, her heart seemed to be covered with a layer of fog, and she wavered secretly.Why, when this man's hand came up, her throat was choked up, and she couldn't make a sound. She should angrily reprimand him for being bold and frivolous.He was not frightened at all, his heart was as quiet as if he had fallen into the water and his whole body was covered by hot spring water.

The reflection of the past is like a tide, vividly rushing to my heart.He put down his hand sadly, his fingers slipped from her face, turned and walked towards the door.

Xichun stood silently without saying a word.In this silent silence, her complexion dimmed bit by bit, and when he moved his fingers away, her heart immediately felt cold.Even though she couldn't remember anything, she guessed that the man in front of her had a lot to do with her.

Feng Ziying pushed the door and went out, and was surprised to see Zhang Youshi standing at the door.He was shocked and said, "How long have you been back?"

Zhang Youshi's expression remained unchanged, and he replied: "It's just now." He looked past Feng Ziying to look at Xichun, seeing her standing there motionless, a trace of uneasiness flashed in his heart, and said to Feng Ziying, "Since I'm back, you Just sit down for a while, don't rush to leave." Feng Ziying couldn't hide the astonishment on his face, he originally thought that Zhang Youshi hid Xichun to avoid himself, but seeing his unexpectedly calm, he felt strange.

The three of them sat down in the room again, but they didn't speak again.Excessive silence is also terrifying, as if it is going to break people's hearts.After a while Zhang Youshi stood up, went to the study inside, took out the scroll, handed it to Xichun, Xichun slowly unfolded it, the person in the painting was Keqing, Xichun was startled and blurted out: "Keqing!" Feng Ziying looked at her With a glance, he blurted out: "You still remember."

Xichun glanced at him coldly: "I still remember my life experience." In the end, she was still stubborn in her heart, and she couldn't open her mouth to call Keqing mother, but Feng Ziying said that it hurt her heart.Feng Ziying was silenced by her, feeling a sense of loss in her heart.

Zhang Youshi didn't care how the two of them changed their minds, Chao Xichun said: "I am Keqing's cousin." He always spoke briefly, but just this one sentence made Feng Ziying see how deeply affectionate he was in his heart, Zhang Youshi loved Keqing. Qing is determined to be more than just an ordinary friendship. For many years, he has not entered the official career and refused to accept his wife.Feng Ziying suddenly remembered that when he was passing through Tongguan, he saved Zhang Youshi in the hands of a strong man. He had nothing else beside him, but he had such a painting scroll that he refused to be taken away, and he almost lost his life.Thinking of this, Feng Ziying understood, and couldn't help but glance at Xichun. He was still wondering why Xichun was suddenly taken care of by Zhang Youshi.Now that I know the truth, I can't help but feel relieved, and I look at Zhang Youshi with endless gratitude.

"Mr. is proficient in medicine, but he doesn't know that he has been poisoned by love." Xichun sighed, "People and affairs in the world are like floating clouds. There is nothing permanent in the world. Everything is just the result of the harmony of fate. When you have to let go, let go If you keep it in your heart, what will be left in the end is only an illusion.”

Zhang Youshi was silent when he heard the words, Feng Ziying became colder and colder as he listened, stood up and said with a sneer: "Okay! You have realized the Tao, but I also have a word, you know that poison is not something that cannot be eliminated, but a person who is poisoned." I don’t want to get rid of it, I’d rather suffer the pain of longing every day than cut off my love and eradicate my longing.” He spoke emotionally, with tears in his eyes, “Since you don’t recognize me today, plug me You don’t have to remember the appointment anymore.” After speaking, he arched his hand towards Zhang Youshi, “I’m leaving.

Xichun was forced by his turbulent words and hadn't come to her senses yet, only to hear Zhang Youshi coldly say behind him: "I'm afraid you won't be able to go anywhere at this time. The Fourth Master wants your life, and the Sixth Master also wants to kill you." If you want your life, the world is so big that there is no room for you."

"I don't know." Feng Ziying stopped and said.His back trembled slightly, and he didn't know how many complicated emotions were weighing on his heart.

Zhang Youshi stared at him for a long time, then sighed slowly: "Forget it, I will tell her about you and Xichun on your behalf. Let her decide how to make a decision." Then he turned to Xichun and said, "I am now What you want to say, some you remember, some you don't remember, can you believe it?"

A trace of hesitation and panic flashed across Xichun's face, she had a premonition that there were many things she didn't know were waiting for her in Zhang Youshi's mouth.Her days of peace will be broken.Xichun frowned and looked at Feng Ziying, and then at Zhang Youshi, with affection between her eyebrows, she said quietly: "Tell me, I believe everything you say." After finishing speaking, she lowered her eyes and remained silent.

Zhang Youshi spoke slowly.His voice has the taste of the old days, like a warm sun left on the leaves, the gentle vicissitudes that will not go away for a long time.Xichun is the person who lingers in the warm world. Her unbearable life experience, deep resentment, years of ups and downs, and love and hate for the man in front of her are like gurgling water, which are gently expressed in his light but warm narrative. The past has turned into a shallow trace of memory.

After hearing what he said, Xichun didn't feel great pain in her heart, but only a little bit of regret and sadness.She got up, walked in front of Feng Ziying, and said apologetically, "I have forgotten the past, that's why I treat you so coldly."

"No! It's my fault." Feng Ziying said hastily, his face beaming with joy, and he grabbed Xichun's hand.

"But, I can't go with you." Xichun's words were empty.A look of indifference appeared in her eyes, and she unnaturally released Feng Ziying's hand.

Her actions made Feng Ziying, who was full of expectations, turn pale with shock and feel lost.

Xichun stared at the man in front of her again, maybe she had a strong or deep relationship with him before, but the strong and deep may also become light to shallow.The sudden sadness on Feng Ziying's face made her feel unbearable, but it couldn't change anything.She now felt nothing but apology and a strange familiarity with this man.Their previous fate may have withered along with the child who was lost before he was born.

To her, he was finally at peace.At this moment, she can finally get rid of the grievances of love for many years and be reborn.She never wants to step into the quagmire of love again.

"I like the life I have now, and I don't want you to take risks for me. Please keep the promise in your heart or simply forget it." Xichun said.At this moment, she believed that she was a cold-hearted person before, and she is also now.In terms of xinxing, she has never really changed, she has always been willing to walk through the world like a layer of mist, and have very little relationship with others.

Xichun ignored Feng Ziying, turned to Zhang Youshi and said, "Sir, if you allow, I will stay by your side." There was a vague smile on her face, which made her look desolate and calm , which coincided with Zhang Youshi's usual expression.

Zhang Youshi smiled silently, with gratitude and composure accumulated after years of waiting in his eyes.He saw the world meandering like a river, gradually stretching out in front of him, and the girl in the river island in the past gradually changed from a distant shadow to a living woman in front of him.With Xichun by his side for the rest of his life, he has cured his love poison and has nothing else to ask for.

"With you by my side, I can get what I want." He smiled lightly.

"I understand." Feng Ziying looked at everything in front of her by surprise, and slowly calmed down.He smiled self-consciously, realized something, and walked out slowly.

The night wind was miserable, and it blew a bone-chilling chill.Feng Ziying wrapped the cloak around her body tightly. He had never been so clear in his heart: all the encounters were completed at the moment of meeting. It was not for love, let alone for staying together. It was another kind of fate.Maybe he and Xichun just misunderstood being in love as staying together so far, but the person who was able to accompany him in the end may not be the person he identified earlier.We may cross a person to meet another person, no matter how hard we try, it is still just an experience in a person's life.

He walked out of the deep alley and said to Geshha who was hiding beside him: "Help me tell Chen Yejun that everything will be done according to plan." middle.

A few days later, Feng Ziying died on the way out of the customs, and the clues left behind pointed to the sixth elder brother.Feng's father suffered from a stroke, weeping blood and kneeling outside the palace gate, begging the emperor to deal with the murderer, his face was moved.The emperor sympathized with the old minister and ordered the fourth elder brother to conduct a thorough investigation, and secretly instructed the fourth elder brother to eliminate political enemies so that he could ascend to the throne. The sixth elder brother was implicated in Feng Ziying's incident and was restrained at home for self-reflection.Although the sixth elder brother knew that he was being framed by others, but seeing that his emperor had decided to favor the fourth elder brother, there was nothing he could do. Now that he was a poor commander, he had no choice but to restrain his edge temporarily and plan for the future.

Then the emperor passed away, and the new emperor ascended the throne in the solemnity of the heavy snow, and changed the dynasty silently.

Xichun learned of Feng Ziying's death after the winter solstice.One night, Zhang Youshi came back dressed in snowflakes, and sighed to her: "We have to leave. The capital is not a place to live for a long time." A trace of hesitation flashed across Xichun's face, and then he smiled easily: "It's a place of right and wrong, it's better to leave .Wherever you go, I will follow you."

Zhang Youshi was so moved that he smiled, took the torch in her hand, blew out the candle to Xiang, and quietly said, "There is one more thing, Feng Ziying is dead." When the candle light flickered, Xichun's eyes twitched, and soon subsided .

Seeing that she was silent, Zhang Youshi said: "He used his life as an introduction to help the fourth elder brother bring down his political opponents. It is a bad policy but also a good policy." He was overwhelmed by the thought, and said, "After all, he still paid himself to the family's future. I guess he is planning this way. If you don't go with him, he will have no interest in life. It is meaningless to go home, and it will only make his parents criticize. Besides, the fourth elder brother has a grudge against him. It is better to send the fourth elder brother away at this time Brother is just a favor, after the new emperor ascends the throne, he will definitely not treat the Feng family badly if he thinks about the old relationship, it is also his last bit of filial piety as a son of man. Don't you think it is now?"

Xichun listened silently, and said to Zhang Youshi: "Is this considered filial piety? I don't know how sad his parents are, but they would rather not have such glory and wealth!" See through walls.

Zhang Youshi regretted his slip of the tongue, and was speechless for a while, when a gust of wind blew out the candlelight, he only heard Xichun sigh in the dark: "I will not kill Boren, Boren died because of me. In this life, I can't feel at ease anymore. .”

This sad thought followed Xichun like a shadow for many years. She didn't experience his death, but she couldn't help it. Feng Ziying became a shadow in her heart, and she could often see him when she closed her eyes.After Zhang Youshi died, she simply became a monk.Every year on the anniversary of Feng Ziying's death, no matter where she is, she will come to see him at the place where he left customs.

Standing alone in the yellow desert, she knew in her heart that she would never see him again.She still doesn't remember Feng Ziying, and some memories are like a lost child when she was young. When she finds it, she is not what she used to be.But she knows that the covenant between her and him will always be there, and the home in their hearts will always be there.He died for this, on the road of martyrdom.And even though she missed the appointment, she will come back here to reunite with him in the end.

No regrets, no sadness.They have been in a great reincarnation together, watching the flowers and the full moon side by side.Xichun stood there for a long time, then slowly turned around and walked back.The world is so big, she still has to slowly flow with the time, until the day when they reach the other side together.

The clouds in the sky gradually faded into the darkness, like flowers withered.A flower sank in her heart, and another bloomed.

(End of this chapter)