My queen does not compete for favor

Chapter 197

It turns out that this is what it means...

It turns out that distance can really separate everything.The blame is to blame him for being too conceited, too self-righteous, and too convinced of his subjective love, but he doesn't think that feelings are really such fragile things. If you don't see each other for a few days, you can cut off a relationship and separate a period of life.

From now on, the two will never see each other, and the world will be separated forever.

Qin Xian slumped into a chair, and sat lifelessly in the imperial study.

In the dark, he sat alone in silence.No sense of time passing, no physical fatigue.

Only the heart, the pain is unbearable.The tear glands in the eyes were astringent and painful, but it was the moist tears that could not be lifted and disappeared for many years.His tears were all exhausted when Qin Yan died.Now he wanted to cry, but couldn't.I wanted to laugh, but found that pulling the corner of my mouth was so laborious and painful.

The pain went into the apex of my heart.

Not only the pain of the body, but also the piercing heart as if a piece of the soul had been taken away. Whenever he thought of the words on the white paper, the meanings formed by those unfamiliar words, his heart would tingle sharply.It hurts more than a needle prick.It hurts even more than being satirized and trampled on the face at the Southern Chu State Banquet.It hurt more than when Qin Yan's corpse was held in his arms.

Every unfamiliar word is like a knife, with a cold light, coldly gouging out a piece of his flesh.Knife after knife.Every time he watched it, he was gouged out to pieces and dripped with blood.The numb nerves are severe, and it hurts again.

It's been a year, and it's been a year now.

In a daze, he didn't know what he had done this year.I just remember, it seems that because I miss her but can't get it, I can only marry her sister Mo Qingcheng to comfort her lovesickness.She has always disliked Mo Qingcheng, he knew it, but, he couldn't see her, hear her voice, smell her breath, she had already abandoned him, should he be deprived of the right to miss her?He just wanted, just wanted to take advantage of Mo Qingcheng's three-point similarity to her face, so that he could see her appearance through Mo Qingcheng.

He just wants to see her!Even from a distance, he was very satisfied to see such a similar figure.

She doesn't want him anymore, he wants to fight for the last bit of rights for himself, just a qualification to miss!

This is his last selfishness.

So he married Mo Qingcheng, a woman who looked somewhat similar to her.Just so that in the middle of the night, when I can't sleep because of crazily missing the night, I can run all the way to the central palace in my middle clothes, and see such a familiar figure through the gauze curtain on that round couch.

At least, it can calm down his crazy heart at midnight.Then he lied to himself that, fortunately, she was still there.Everything is just a nightmare for him, it will pass, it will pass.

It's been a year, and it's been a year since I don't know why.

After such a long time, he would still find this letter in his spare time, read it over and over again, and feel pain over and over again.It's like cutting yourself open one by one, counting every organ in detail, and then grit your teeth and scrape off every inch of thoughts attached to the organs, bit by bit.

Only in this way can he forget the pain and the past, and then live heartlessly, lying to himself that life is still very satisfying.He could do just fine without her.

But every time I open it and read it word by word, I feel the same pain as when I saw this letter for the first time, no, it hurts even more.

Pain to the bone marrow, pain to rot in the bones but still reluctant to give up.

It hurt so much that the person he hated to betray the most in his life was hurt so badly by such a thin piece of paper, yet he was still reluctant to hurt her.

So he can only choose to hurt himself.Bear all the pain, and hide all the loneliness behind that bright yellow scroll.

He will always remember how he wrote the abolished imperial edict with trembling hands that night.No one understands why the queen died in the flood, and after the establishment of the new government, she had to write an edict to abolish the queen.Only he himself knows that he is, in order to give her a peace of mind.

Her letter made it very clear that she didn't die, she just took advantage of the flood to feign her death, escaped from his reach, and disappeared from everyone's sight. Dan's sister-in-law, in short, lived a life that belonged exclusively to her and Yunshang, and would never bring his shadow with her from now on.

Since she wanted to enjoy the world with Yunshang, he let her fly.Cruelly cut off the tentacles that wrapped around her, cut off all ties between him and her, let her break free and fly to the blue sky.Because of love, no matter how painful it is, I am willing to let go.As long as she is happy.

The lingering in the past has become a burden for her to fly now, and he is willing to cut off his tentacles with a sword.let her go.The last thing he can do for her is to abolish the empress.

She wants to leave, she wants to live the life she wants with Yun Shang, and bearing the name of queen will only cause her troubles for no reason.Even though she was "dead" in Qing history, as long as there is no abolished imperial edict, she will be his legitimate wife as long as she lives or dies.

Therefore, he let her go and gave her freedom. His imperial edict to abolish the queen was written for her to read alone.Just to tell her who is far away in an unknown corner of the country: I have let go, so you can be at ease and happy.

"Report to the emperor, Mr. Zuo Xiang is outside the door to see you." Eunuch Lu's report came from outside the imperial study.

Qin Xian was startled, and then realized that he had fallen into grief again and couldn't extricate himself. Now he often loses his mind like this and doesn't know the outside world for several hours.If it wasn't for the people around him who came to remind him from time to time, he really didn't know if he would die from mental and physical exhaustion in those memories over and over again.

After tidying up the things on the imperial case, the fragments on the ground were to the side, he adjusted his robe slightly, and said to the outside world: "Xuan."

When Hu Qingying came in, it was obvious that he was in a bad mood, even disordered.He still smelled of joss sticks and paper money.This time he didn't say much dogmatic etiquette as usual, but took out a hairpin from his sleeve and pressed it in Qin Xian's palm.

It was only then that Qin Xian noticed that his face was very pale.Just about to ask him what's the matter, but his eyes froze when he touched the wooden hairpin.

Crested hairpin!
The crested hairpin that he carved for Wan Qixiao by himself back then!

"This is..." Qin Xian opened his eyes wide, and his ears were ringing.What does Qingying mean?Came here for no reason to give him this?How did he get this hairpin?The truth was right in front of his eyes, but Qin Xian suddenly became frightened.

Hu Qingying's calm face finally revealed a look of pain.He closed his eyes and collected himself, gritted his teeth as if making up his mind and said: "Your Majesty, do you know that in this world, apart from Qing Ying and Jie Long who has not gone down the mountain, there is one person who can completely imitate other people's handwriting?"

(End of this chapter)