reborn 20 years ago

Chapter 103

For half his life, he seemed to have been living in waiting, waiting for that girl's look back, waiting for his love.

I still remember the first time I saw her. At that time, he had just entered junior high school, and she was his deskmate. In his usual impression, girls who were beautiful and loved to dress up must have poor academic performance, but This point of view was completely overturned the moment he saw her, and he couldn't believe that the girl next to him with a high ponytail and a sweet smile would be number one in his class, with even the highest grades. better than him.

It is undeniable that he was curious about her, so he would always secretly look at her unconsciously. What surprised him was that she almost never listened carefully, and was even interested in flipping through textbooks in classes such as Chinese and history. , but when he encountered that math class was basically spent in sleep, he was very puzzled. With her learning state, she still takes No. 1 in every exam?If she is not a child prodigy, or the current state is just pretending, she must have studied hard after class.

However, she doesn't look like such a hypocritical and wealthy girl. She loves to smile, and when she smiles, her eyebrows and eyes are curved, and there are two dimples at the corners of her mouth, which is very cute. He knows that many boys in the class are secretly I like her very much, and always approach her with an excuse to ask questions, and she never refuses people, every time she explains patiently to others, seeing her face sideways, the hair behind her ears falls quietly, brushing When it was on her face, he always had an inexplicable urge to wipe it off for her.

Unknowingly, observing her seems to have become a habit of his. On the way to and from school, during morning exercises, and during physical education class, he always unconsciously searches for her figure in the crowd, and because of this, he I found a phenomenon. She seems to have a very good relationship with Shen Mo, who is in the second grade of junior high school. He can see them going home together after school almost every day. Moreover, in front of Shen Mo, she always smiles a lot and is very bright. .

This discovery made him a little frustrated, because he knew that Silence, he was almost a genius, and every time he got the test results, he always topped the list, leaving a long distance from No.2. Not only that, but also his athletic ability Very strong, represented the school and the district in various competitions many times, and won many awards. In other competitions, as long as he participated, he never lost an award.

Maybe it was because of his competitive spirit. From then on, he studied harder, read a lot of extra-curricular books after class, and participated in various sports activities whenever he had time. He didn't know why he kept silent As his own competition, but subconsciously, he just wanted to do that.

The first time he felt such a strong heartbeat was probably the time when she had menarche. He still felt very embarrassed, as if he had peeped into a girl's most intimate thing. He could even hear his strong and messy Heartbeat, he didn't know what to do, he just took off his coat and handed it to her in embarrassment.

She returned the coat to him the next day, but from that day on, he never wore it again, not because it was dirty, on the contrary, she had already washed it for him, and the clothes still had a faint fragrance , just like the smell on her body, and he didn't want to wash off this smell that belonged to her.

He never wastes the opportunity to show off. Whether it is exams or other competitions, he does his best. He only hopes to get the best results. His efforts are not in vain. From the envious or admiring eyes of other students, he knows that He has succeeded, his name is often standing side by side with Shen Mo, but that is not what he cares about, his eyes are always unconsciously searching for her face in the crowd, hoping to find her face See the expression you want to see.

After being famous, it also brought a lot of troubles, among which the girl's love letter was one, he could see those annoying letters in his drawer or in the book almost every day, but he never opened them and read them all the time. Walk out of the gate of the school and throw it into the trash can on the side of the road.

However, when she handed him such a letter one day, he could clearly hear his heart beating a few times out of order. The feeling was terrible, and he was even afraid of her standing beside him. He would hear his abnormal heartbeat, but when she told him in a playful voice that this was a love letter from a girl in another class asking her to hand it over to him, his heart fell to the bottom and he almost fell to the ground. Unable to bear the emotional impact of such ups and downs, he just scolded her angrily and then ignored her again.

When he took the high school entrance examination, he filled in A without even thinking about it, because he knew that silence was there, and Rococo would definitely follow in his footsteps, so even though No. [-] middle school was closer to home, there were relatives there As a teacher, he still tried his best to convince his parents, and got into the A with her in the exam.

They became tablemates again, but rumors began to spread in the school that she and Shen Mo were boyfriend and girlfriend, and they didn't deny it, they still went in and out together every day, which made these rumors even more credible Spend.

As he grows older, he also gradually understands his complicated feelings for her. He probably likes her. He likes to see her smile, and he will be happy when he sees her happy. When I look my best, I feel uncomfortable when I see her with other boys, and when I see her in danger, I feel that my heart stops beating for a moment.

So, when she asked him to go to the park together on weekends, he felt a kind of unprecedented happiness. Even though he was No.1 in the school and won medals in various awards, he was not so happy. At night, I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep, I took out all the clothes in the closet and wore them again and again, and finally I was afraid that she would see the panda eyes on his face the next day, so I forced myself to close it. Lie down on the bed with eyes closed.

They made an appointment at nine o'clock, but he arrived at the park before eight o'clock. When he was standing at the gate waiting for her, his heart was full of joy and anticipation. He heard that she and Shen Mo were neighbors. They walked so close, Maybe it's just because of this, does it mean that she actually has a crush on him when she asked him to come to the park this time?Then should he confess his love to her today?
But what he didn't expect was that she wasn't here alone. She not only asked him out, but also asked Shen Mo and another female classmate. When he saw the shy eyes of that female classmate looking at him, he guessed it all at once. Her purpose, at that moment, he really hated her, and even wanted to catch her and beat her up, how could she do such a thing to him?
He was very angry, and left after staying for a while, and made up his mind that even if she apologized to him, he would never forgive her, but she just handed over a bookmark so lightly and delicately, and it was so ugly , The depression that he had been suppressing in his chest all of a sudden disappeared.

Before dividing arts and sciences, he specifically asked her about her intentions. She told him that she was studying science, so he chose science without hesitation. Even though it was indeed her strong point, he was still angry. She clearly told him that she would study science. Even if she changed her mind in the end, shouldn't she at least tell him?How could she not care about his feelings at all?
In the end, he also switched to liberal arts, and it didn't make any difference to him, but he wanted to stay in the class with her.

He thought that his obvious expression finally made her a little suspicious, because she deliberately kept a distance from him afterwards, which made him a little at a loss. He had never had any experience in this area, and he didn't know what to do. Does she confess?But her current behavior has clearly expressed her meaning. If he chooses to confess his love at this time, will it make her go further?
This year's sports meeting, he signed up for the men's 3000 meters, because he wanted to beat him once in front of her before Shen Mo graduated!
In this competition, he worked harder and desperately than any other competition he participated in. However, maybe God also wanted to tell him that things that did not belong to him were not worth it. Just three meters before the finish line, he fell heavily. He fell down, fell together with Shen Mo, and also missed the champion who might have belonged to him. Seeing her running to Mo Mo's side with an anxious expression on her face, she called his name so distressed, checked his injuries, but couldn't even look at him. Without looking at him, he suddenly felt that the wound on his body didn't hurt at all, because his heart hurt even more!
In the three years of high school, he had made countless resolutions. He wanted to forget her, and even thought about finding a girl who was prettier and better than her to have a relationship with her proudly. Hearing her voice, his determination seemed so vulnerable.

Finally, it was the end of the college entrance examination. On that day, he looked at her back in the crowd, thinking that she would definitely fill in BJ's university. From then on, he and Shen Mo lived together. Maybe they would never meet again. I don't know. With the courage from there, he suddenly jumped onto the podium, and in front of all the third-year students and teachers, he yelled out the feelings that had been suppressed in his heart for several years. That was also the craziest thing he had ever done in his life. Although he still wasn't with her in the end, he didn't regret it, because at least he said what he wanted to say to her the most, even if he didn't get the ending he wanted, he wouldn't regret it.

He peeked at her college entrance examination application, applied for the same university as her, and received the admission letter as he wished. He didn't know why he chose to go to the same university as her after his confession was rejected. Maybe, after so many years It has become his habit to follow in her footsteps all the time, right?
A lot of things happened during this year's summer vacation. He didn't know the specific situation. He only knew that she was in a car accident. Jiang Yu rescued her, but she became a vegetable, and she also fell into a serious illness. At that time, he just happened to To go to school to participate in military training, I had to go to the hospital to visit her and then hurried to school.

Half a month later, he finally saw her at school. Although she had lost some weight, she was still in good spirits. The two girls next to her should be in the same dormitory as her, right?Seeing her talking and laughing with them, his heart that had been on his mind for so many days finally fell back to its original position. No matter what happened, as long as she is well, it will be fine.

He didn't know what happened between her and Shen Mo, but it was rumored in the school that she was with Qiao Rui from the Department of Business Administration. He didn't believe such rumors at all. She and Shen Mo were childhood sweethearts, and they had been in love for so many years Basically, she also specially took the BJ's college entrance examination for Silence, how could they break up?
But those rumors are convincing, but they don't seem to be fake, so after thinking about it for a long time, he decided to ask her, but the answer she gave was far beyond his expectation. After admitting her relationship with Qiao Rui, at that moment, his heart was in a tearing pain. He didn't believe that she would move on so soon, but if she was still silent in her heart, why did she stay with Qiao Rui?Even if you just want to find a spare tire, this person should be him!He doesn't mind being her spare tire, a springboard, but why is it Qiao Rui?She clearly knew what he was thinking, didn't she?And that Qiao Rui was only interested in her family background at all. She is so smart, how could she not see it?

Sure enough, she admitted that the person she loved was still silent, and she also knew what Qiao Rui wanted from her, and she even said that she didn't want to owe him any more!Does she owe him less?How could she turn a blind eye to so many years of relationship, those youths that were wrongly paid, and those love-hate entanglements caused by her?For a Qiao Rui who has an unruly heart towards her, she can still give him the false title of boyfriend, but what about him?What did he get again?Is it because you don't love that you can do such cruel harm?

It is said that grief is greater than death. This time, he really felt this feeling. She was so unfeeling towards him, and he no longer had the strength to continue loving him. Then, just give up. There are still many girls in the world. Yes, I just don't know, can his heart still find the original feeling?

(End of this chapter)