american tragedy

Chapter 68 (1)
Chapter 231 (1)
Surprisingly, among the guests at the Griffiths' house at Christmas were the Starks and their young lady Arabella, as well as the Winantes.Their Miss Constance was out with Gilbert, and they dined at the Griffiths'.There were the Arnolds, the Anthonys, the Harriets, the Taylors, and Lycurgus, among other eminent persons.Clyde was very impressed by this banquet, and even felt awe.Unfortunately, although it was five o'clock, and then six o'clock, he could not leave, nor could he wake up and think sincerely of his duty to Roberta.Towards six o'clock, when most of the guests had risen after a hearty meal (as he should have done at this time, and thought of his appointment with Roberta), he had chatted with Violet Taylor among the young guests.Taylor talked about the program of Anthony's family reunion tonight, and tried to invite him, saying: "You will come with us, right? Of course." He also acquiesced, although because he had promised Roberta first, She couldn't help but think that she might have returned by this time and was looking forward to him.Still, there's still time, isn't it?

But once at Anne's, talking and dancing with the girls, the thought of Roberta gradually faded away.At nine o'clock he began to feel a little uneasy.Because, she must have been in her room at this time, and she must be thinking about what happened to him, what happened to the words he promised himself.And, it was Christmas night.Besides, she has been away for three days.

He was more disturbed and troubled, but on the surface he was as cheerful as he was in the afternoon.Fortunately, this group of people danced and had fun every night during the last week, and they were almost exhausted, and gradually they couldn't hold on anymore, and they dispersed at eleven o'clock.After seeing Bella Griffiths at her door, Clyde hurried down to Elm Street to see if Roberta was up.

As he approached the Gilpins' house, and saw the light in her room through a gap in the snow-covered trees, he felt uneasy, wondering what to say, what excuse to make for a mistake which could not be explained in any way. .He stopped under a big tree by the side of the road, thinking twice about what to say.Sticking to what he said last time, on Friday he'd already been there.A few months ago, he didn't have any social activities, he just had fantasies about these things in his mind.At that time, lying to her didn't feel like hurting my heart very much. What he made up was not true anyway, and it didn't actually take up his time, and it didn't hinder him. But now, having these social activities, and thinking that these new contacts are so important to his future, he can't help hesitating. He immediately made a decision to send the second invitation that he received later. As the reason for his not being here, and for the record, it was not he Why do I like to avoid her, and it is out of a sense of responsibility.What can I do to tell him? After he thought of this set of plausible reasons in his mind, he knocked on her door lightly across the snow.

Immediately the lights went out, and a moment later the curtains were rolled up.Roberta, who had been brooding intensely, opened the door and let him in.Beforehand, according to the old custom, a candle was lit, so as not to be discovered.He immediately said in a low voice:

"Oh, the company is so confusing here, my dear, I've never seen a place like it. You only have to hang out with these people and they'll find something else for you to do. They always It was all day and night, and when I went on Friday (he was referring to the very incident about his lying about going to the Griffiths'), I thought it was the last social intercourse in the middle of the festival. Yes, but ah, yesterday, just as I was thinking of going elsewhere, I got another note saying they expect me to dine again today."

"Today, I thought I could start eating at two o'clock." He went on to explain, "At the end, I can still come here at eight o'clock as I said, but in fact, it doesn't start until three o'clock. Eat, it's just been a while. Isn't it too difficult? I couldn't get out of my body for the past four hours. How are you, dear? Haven't you had a bad time? I hope you've had a good time. Do they like it?"

He asked this barrage of questions, and she answered simply, from the first, just looking at him as if to say, "Oh, Clyde, how could you do this to me?" ?”

But Clyde was only aware of his own concocted explanations and how he could convince Roberta of them, so after he took off his coat, scarf, gloves, and arranged his hair, he did not carefully, or even tenderly, He glanced at her and didn't do anything to her, expressing how happy he was to see her.Instead, he just seemed restless and a bit embarrassed.Therefore, even though he said and did that, she still felt that besides being a little happy to meet her again, what he cared about most was himself, and besides the things he explained just now, he didn't care about it. she.Although after a while he held her in his arms and kissed her on the mouth, as on Saturday, she sensed that he was mentally only half-hearted for her.Something else, the things that had dragged him away from her on Friday and this evening, were disturbing his mind and hers.

She looked at him, not really believing him, but not really willing not to believe him either.Perhaps he was at the Griffiths', as he himself said, or they might have held him back.But on the other hand, maybe neither.Because, she couldn't help thinking of last Saturday, when he said he was at their house on Friday, but the paper said he was in Gloversville.Now, though, asking him these things, wouldn't he get mad or lie to her more? After all, she thought, she had no real power over him other than wanting him to love her.However, he became so fast, which was beyond her imagination.

"So that's why you didn't make it tonight, did you?" she asked, with a tone of excitement and revulsion that she had never felt before when she spoke to him. "I seem to remember you telling me that you would never let anything get in the way of our date," she said with a slightly grave look.

"Well, I did say," he admitted, "that I would never have done it had it not been for that letter. You know I would never allow anyone but my uncle to interfere with our appointment." , but they want me to come for Christmas, and I can't say no! It's too big a deal. And it shouldn't, should it, especially when you're not here this afternoon?"

The way and the tone of his speech gave Roberta more than anything else he had ever said: that he valued his kinship, and that, however much she valued their relationship, He took it lightly.She realized a truth: Although he was so enthusiastic and swearing at first, his estimate of her was probably much lighter than her own estimate of herself.That is to say, all the dreams and sacrifices she had made in the past were of no value at all, so she became afraid in her heart.

"Well, anyway, under the circumstances," she went on hesitantly, "did it ever occur to you to leave a note here, Clyde, so I could see it when I came in?" She said softly. Ask him casually, not wanting to offend him too much.

"But, didn't I tell you, dear, I didn't expect it to be so late. I thought it would be over anyway at six o'clock."

"Well... yes... anyway... I understand... but still..."

She looked confused, troubled, and restless, with fear, sadness, depression, doubt, resentment, and despair. Everything was mixed together, and it all showed in her eyes.At this time, her big round eyes staring at him seriously made him feel that he was the one who spoiled her and insulted her.Her eyes seemed to be pointing this out, and he felt only a fever, and his naturally pale cheeks were red and purple.But Roberta pretended not to notice, and didn't intend to mention it right away, so she continued after a while: "I saw the Gloversville party mentioned in the Sunday Star, but it didn't mention it." Your cousins ​​are there too, are they?"

For the first time in all her cross-examinations of him, she had asked him, as if she might be suspicious of him, a new development which Clyde had never anticipated before, and which disturbed and disgusted him more than anything.

"Of course they're there," he lied to her. "I told you they were there. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, my dear, I don't mean anything else. I just wanted to know, but I see all the other Lycurgus people you used to talk about, Sandra Finchley, Bettina Cranston, etc. You remember, you never mentioned any of them except the Double sisters."

He noticed that her tone seemed to provoke him to get angry, to lose his temper.

(End of this chapter)