american tragedy

Chapter 72 (2)
Chapter 233 (2)
At 05:30, he set off to the appointed place, wondering what made her look so pale and worried her so much.But at the same time, he said to himself, if his dream with Sandra came true, he must not let any kind of sympathy get him into trouble anymore, he must maintain this calm attitude, this new distance. Let Clyde understand in his heart that he no longer cares about her like he used to.He arrived at the appointed place at six o'clock and found her leaning sadly against a tree in the shadows, looking very excited and very depressed.

"What's the matter? What's the matter, Roberta? What's so frightening? What's the matter?"

Even his apparently waning share of affection was revived by her apparent need for help.

"Oh, Clyde," she said afterward, "I don't know what to tell you. If it were true, it would be too terrible for me." Her tense, deep voice spoke volumes of her anguish and uneasiness .

"What's the matter? What's the matter, Roberta? Why didn't you tell me?" He repeated what he had just said, proudly, but cautiously, with an air of calm and deliberation. , but this time the pretending is not very similar. "What's wrong? Why are you so nervous? You're shaking all over."

Never in his life had he encountered such an urgent matter, because it had never occurred to him how it happened.At the same time, because of his attitude towards her recently, he has become reserved and a little embarrassed.Something was clearly wrong now, and he really didn't know what attitude to take.He is still very sensitive to traditional and moral issues, so whenever he does something improper, even if it involves his greatest ambition, he will inevitably feel some remorse, or At least some shame.He was impatient again for his evening rendezvous, and determined not to have any further relations.This did not escape Roberta's eyes.

"You remember yourself, Clyde," she begged him, earnestly and eagerly, emboldened by her difficult situation, to make further demands. "You said you would help me if anything went wrong."

He had been in her room a few times recently.As far as he now looks, these are all silly things.After going there, both of them still have a little old relationship, and with the uncontrollable desires of the two of them, it is obvious that he is not smart, and he has had a physical relationship with her again.Thanks to this, he immediately understood what the problem was, and he also realized that, if this were the case, it was a serious, inescapable, and dangerous problem.He also learned that he was to blame and that this was a really urgent problem that had to be addressed.Moreover, in order to prevent greater danger, it must be solved immediately.But, on the other hand, with his recent extreme indifference, he almost thinks that this trick may be just a deceitful trick or a post-love ruse, or a trick, the purpose is just to ignore his own feelings, He has to hold him back, or attract him again, but he only has a little bit of this idea.She looked so downcast, so hopeless.He began to realize, vaguely, that this trouble might be very bad for him, and his confusion outweighed his boredom.He was so confused that he cried out:

"Yes, but how do you know there must be something wrong? You can't tell so quickly, can you? Why should you tell? Maybe tomorrow, you'll be all right, can you?" However, at this moment, his tone showed that he was not sure.

"Oh, no, I don't think so, Clyde. I wish I could. It's been two full days, and it's never been like that before."

When she said these words, her expression was obviously depressed, and she was so self-pitying that he had to dismiss the suspicion of tricks at once.But, on the other hand, he didn't want to accept such a frustrating thing right away, so he went on: "Well, maybe it doesn't matter. Some of the girls are more than two days old, aren't they?" This tone shows that he is not decisive, and he is not even sensible of the world at all.In the past, these characters of his have never been exposed.Roberta was very alarmed, and exclaimed, "Oh, no, I don't think so. Anyway, if something goes wrong, it's going to be terrible, isn't it? What do you think I should do? You know I don't know what medicine I can take?"

When Clyde was eager to have such a relationship with Roberta, she had given her the impression that he was a very sophisticated young man who knew life far better than she did.As for the dangers and difficulties which may arise in such a relationship, I assure him that he can solve them, and nothing will go wrong.But now, he didn't know what to do.In fact, as he now realizes, he knows as little as young people like himself about the mysteries of sex and the problems that may arise from it.Yes, before coming here, I did learn some basics in Kansas City and Chicago with Rattler, Higbey, and Hegglund, the teachers of the hotel waiters, and I always heard them chatting and bragging. .However, now that I think about it, even though they boasted a lot, their set of knowledge must only refer to those girls who are as casual and ignorant as they are.What they know is nothing more than quack doctors who deal with people with knowledge levels like Heggren and Ratterer, grocery store owners who work in this industry in private, and some special medicines and contraceptives that pharmacy owners talk nonsense about. , otherwise he is not clear.Even so, where can such things be obtained in such a small city as Lycurgus? Since he cut off contact with Dillard, he has no close people who can help him in such a difficult situation. Help out at any time, not to mention a reliable friend.

The best way he could think of for the time being was to find the owner of a grocer in this city or somewhere nearby.In order to make a fortune, these people may give him a useful prescription or a little information.But how much does it cost? What is the danger in such a method? What will they say? Will they ask any questions? Will they tell others about such inquiries and the need to use such things? Who would listen to him? He looked so much like Gilbert Griffiths, and he was such a famous figure in Lycurgus that if someone took him for Gilbert, it might spread, so that will cause trouble.

This dreadful situation occurred again at a time when, on Sandra's side, things had come to such a point that she had allowed him to kiss her in private, and, more delightfully, she was regularly sending him a few A tie, a gold pen, a box of very beautiful handkerchiefs, etc., to show a little affection and kindness from her.These things were delivered to the door when he was not at home, with a small card signed by her.In this way, he felt that his future relationship with her was really hopeful day by day.He even thought that, assuming her family didn't interfere, and her passion for him and her diplomacy continued, marriage was not at all impossible.Of course, he wasn't sure.Her true will and affection, until now, have been hidden in the distance, only in the flickering attitude.It is because of this that she is more and more lovely.It was these things, however, that made him think it necessary to get out of Roberta's intimacy as soon as possible, as beautifully and as inoffensively as possible, for the time being.

For this reason, he now pretends to be very confident and says: "Well, if I were you, I would not worry about it tonight. No one, you have nothing at all, you know. It's hard to say. Anyway, I It'll take a while, and we'll see what we can do. I think I can get you something. But I hope you're not so nervous."

In his heart he is not as hard as he says in his mouth.In fact, he was already very panicked.He originally decided to have less contact with her, but now he was faced with an embarrassing situation that could really harm him, and the situation became complicated.Unless he can, shirk all his responsibilities, but she is still working under him now, and he has written several letters to her, as long as she says a word, it is enough to cause people to investigate and cause him fatal damage, so It forced him to help her immediately, and this kind of information must not be leaked out.At the same time, to be fair, he had no objection to helping her in any way he could, because of the relationships they both had.But if he's sure he can't help (that's how quickly his train of thought came to such a vicious conclusion), then...then...deny that he had any such relationship with her, and he can get away .This may be a way out, as long as he doesn't have enemies everywhere here, it will work.

However, regarding all of this, what troubled him most at present was that he couldn't think of any effective solution other than to find a doctor.Also: it might cost money, time, risk, what the hell is going on? He's going to meet her again tomorrow morning, and if she still has problems then he'll have to act .

As for Roberta, for the first time in her life, she was left aside so casually and indifferently, and at such a critical moment, and went to her room with the saddest and most painful fears of her life. go.

(End of this chapter)