american tragedy

Chapter 81 (2)
Chapter 238 (2)
He paused to see if the words had any effect.He noticed the hesitation in her, the expression that had come to Roberta's face lately whenever he pushed back.And he wanted to use all the rhetoric to delay this sudden problem, so he pretended to be very energetic, but still said vaguely: "Besides, it's hard to say that I really can't find a doctor. I have been lucky No, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they won’t be found. It’s still too late, isn’t it? Anyway, there are three months left (before, he received a letter from Ratterer telling him so). A few days ago, I I've heard there's a doctor in Albany who might be willing to do it, and anyway, let's go and see to see if he'll do it, won't you?"

When he said these words, his attitude was flickering.Roberta could see, too, that he was lying again, just procrastinating, that there were no doctors in Albany.And he was obviously disgusted by the question she asked, and he was just trying his best to avoid it.Therefore, she understood that he had never said anything about marrying her in the past.All she could do was to urge him to do something. After all, she couldn't force him to do anything.He might just walk away.He had said in the past that if he lost his job because of her, he was going to do it.If society, in which he was so interested, drove him out now, while he had to take care of her and a child to be born, he would rather go that way.

This level of consideration made her cautious. If she wanted to speak honestly and resolutely, she had to change her tone now, despite the urgency of her situation.He thought of the radiant world centered on Sandra, now threatened, and was indescribably flustered.It was impossible to even think about it rationally.If for the little world that he and Roberta had put together, a little home and a child, and she and the child were supported on his meager wages, bustling about and losing their identity forever, He lost another world. Thinking of this, he only felt disgusted, and he would never do it! But, he also knew very well that all his dreams might be easily smashed to pieces by her! And all of this is just A mistake! And thinking about it this way, he became cautious, and because of this environment, his skillful and treacherous character was displayed for the first time!

At the same time, Clyde realized in his heart that his rapid changes were really shameful.

But Roberta said, "I know, Clyde, but you've stumped yourself just now, haven't you? Besides, the days go by without a doctor and it gets worse, and you can't be married for a while." Will I have a baby within a month? Besides, besides thinking about you, I also have to think about myself? And the baby (When mentioning this baby, Clyde flinched as if he had been slapped in the face. She also noticed .) Between two roads, Clyde, I must choose one, or marry, or find a way out of this crisis, and you can't seem to get me out of it, can you? If you worry about our marriage, Your uncle will object," she said calmly and gently, "we can get married right away, and then keep it a secret for as long as you can, until you don't think it's necessary to keep it." She went on wisely : "And I can tell my parents that I am married and just keep it a secret for the time being. However, when the situation is too bad for us to stay, we can move elsewhere if we want. If you don't want you If uncle knows. Otherwise, we shall announce that we are married. Many young people do that now, as for the rest of life," she went on, noticing the stubborn shadow on Clyde's face like a dark cloud. flashed, "Anytime, we can always find something to do, I know I can find it, after I have a baby."

When she first spoke, Clyde sat on the edge of the bed and listened restlessly to her words, but when she talked about marriage and moving away, he got up and walked around.And when she came to the cliché about having a baby at the end, he looked at her with panic in his eyes.Think about it, getting married again, and coming to this point again.But with better luck, maybe she might marry Sandra, but now with her...

"Oh! Yes! That's very good for you, Roberta. You've got everything done, but I, as far as I'm concerned, are only at the beginning. Naturally, I have to go this way. Then I really don't know what to do, and I have nothing to do. In this way, both of us will be very bad. Besides, my uncle gave me this opportunity, I was the one who asked for it , if he leaves now, he will never be able to help me again."

As soon as he got nervous, he forgot what he had said to Roberta in the past, that is, his father had a way, and things here were not suitable, so she could go to the West, and maybe find something to do there.Just thinking about this episode, she asked, "Can we move to Denver or something? What about your father, should you think about him, at least for a while?"

Her tone was soft and pleading, which made Clyde feel that the situation was not so bad.It was too hard, though, just to mention his father and make her think he was saving them from menial drudgery.How little did she know of the real situation! Worse, she hoped to help them in this regard.But in the end it was of no help, she might blame him for it, and it was ample evidence that the idea of ​​marriage had to be given up, and that had to be done at once.This won't work, absolutely not.

But how was he supposed to object to the law without being exposed? She felt entitled to demand it from him, and he told her with the coldest clarity that he could not and would not marry her.And, unless she says it now, she thinks she has a legitimate reason to force him to do it! Doesn't she think she has the right to sue her uncle and cousin (he imagines Gilbert's cold eyes) ), and that's it, everything is ruined.Sandra, everything here, his dream is gone.However, he only said one sentence: "But, Roberta, I can't do this, at least not now." This immediately gave Roberta an idea, that is, the idea of ​​marriage, he has no courage to oppose it right now, but When he was thinking this way, he immediately went on to say: "Besides, I don't want to get married so soon. At this time, marriage has too much influence on me. First of all, I am not yet old, and the cost of getting married is too high." Not at all. And I can't leave this place. You don't know how much such an opportunity matters to me. My father's situation is good, but what my uncle can do, he can't and won't do it. It's you I don’t understand, otherwise, you wouldn’t have forced me to do this.”

He stopped, with a look of fear and stubbornness on his face.He is like a trapped beast, pursued by hunters.However, Roberta believes that his root cause lies in the opposite contradiction between the social circle here and her low social status.It's not because a high-ranking girl seduced him, so he can only object to him very dissatisfied: "Ah! Yes! I know why you refuse to leave here. It's not because of your status, but because of your status." People in the social scene who hang out with them all the time. I know that, you don't think about me anymore, Clyde, what's the matter? You won't abandon those people for me. I know that For the real reason, and nothing else. But, not so long ago, you were not like this, but you can't remember that." She said, her face burning too, and her eyes blazing.She paused, while he stared at her, unable to figure out what was going to happen. "But, anyway, abandon me and let me struggle on my own, that's absolutely impossible for you, because I can't allow you to do it, Clyde, it can't be done! It can't be done! I tell you." She I became more and more nervous, and my words became incoherent, "This has a great impact on me. I am alone, and I really don't know what to do. Except you, there is really no one who can help me.

You have to help me, I have to escape from this emergency, it is necessary, Clyde, I must escape, I really can't be helpless, not married or other choices, just go to see my loved ones like this or anyone. As she spoke, her eyes flickered with pleading anger, she looked straight at him, and she clenched and let go of her hands dramatically to emphasize the words. "If you can't Find a way to take me through this crisis," she continued, and Clyde also felt the pain in her words, "then you have to go another way to help me escape this crisis, that's the only way.At least until I can take care of myself.I can't just be abandoned like that! I don't ask to be husband and wife with you forever," she continued, thinking in a persuasive way that Clyde might agree to marry her, but In the future, his attitude towards her may be more considerate." After a while, you might as well separate from me, if you really want to.When I get out of this trouble, I will never prevent you from doing so.But, you can never abandon me now, you absolutely can't, you really can't! Besides," she went on, "am I willing to go to such a point? You asked me to agree.But now, you have abandoned me and let me face it by myself, just because once people find out about me, you will not be able to come in and out of the social arena. "

She paused again, her very weary nerves unable to take the thrill of the struggle.She began to cry, very sadly.She was crying desperately, and her every movement showed that she was trying to restrain herself, to control herself.For a while, they both stood, and he just stared at her blankly, thinking about how to deal with it and how to evade it, while she also struggled hard to regain her calm attitude.Finally recovered.She went on: "Oh, what's the difference between me and two or three months ago, Clyde? Please tell me, I really want to know what made me like this? Remember before Christmas , you have been very kind to me, you come to accompany me whenever you have free time, and after that, you have to ask me to come every night. Who is she? What is the reason? Is it another girl or something , I wonder, is it Sandra Finchley, or Bettina Cranston, or someone else?"

She said, looking at him intently.Clyde was afraid that Roberta would irritate Sandra too much if she knew exactly what happened to Sandra, but now he could see it, and he was happy: even now, she was not suspicious of a girl, but It is even more difficult to withhold the exact information.When she was so sad, when she made a request that she thought should be made, he was still very cowardly, not daring to say who or what was his real reason.Instead, he just answered casually, completely indifferent to her grief.Because he really didn't care about her anymore. "Ah, you're mistaken, Roberta. You don't know what the problem is. It's my future here, and if I get out of here, there won't be another chance like this, and if I do Get married, or leave here, then there's nothing left, I have to wait for a chance, find a place before I get married, you know, save some money first, if I do it first, then I have to Now that you have such an opportunity, so do you." He said weakly.As for the fact that he had been making it very obvious before that that he would never have anything to do with her, etc., he simply forgot at the moment.

"Besides," he went on, "if only you can find someone, or go somewhere yourself, Roberta, to get this thing out of the way by yourself. to send you the money. I am sure of it, and I can put it together between now and the time you must go."

When he said these words, his face made it clear that she had destroyed all his plans for her, and Roberta also noticed, and she knew now how little he cared about her. He could leave her and the child aside in this way, and his words not only made her angry, but also made her very scared.

"Oh, Clyde," she exclaimed at last, "how can you be so powerful! And, how can your heart be so vicious that you want me to go alone, just to save yourself, so that you If you can hang out, I won't hinder you anymore, and you don't have to worry about me anymore, and then you can marry someone else here. Ah, I won't do it, never do it, or you can find someone to help me out of this One thing, otherwise, you will marry me and go with me, at least until I give birth to a child, I can have a proper identity in front of my family and acquaintances, and after that, if you want to go, I will also Don't stop you, if you do this to me, you don't need me, and I don't need you, but, anyway, you must save me now. Oh, my God," she began to cry again. "Think about it, we fell in love, and we got such a result. I went away alone, and you stayed here by yourself, oh, my God! My God! And then you have to face a child without a father. "

She clasped her hands and shook her head sadly.Clyde is also aware that his decision is very ruthless, but he has an ardent desire for Sandra in his heart from beginning to end, and he thinks this is a very safe path.He stood there, not knowing what to say.

They said some similar things later, but the two were always at odds, and they didn't know what to do.

(End of this chapter)