love at the wrong age

Chapter 21 I'm worthless in your heart

"I can't live without you." Lin Haoyang said, he can't live without her.

Who knows how he got here in the United States in those years?Relying on a photo and the good memories left in his mind, now he is used to her being by your side and seeing her, if one day he can't see her, what will his world be like?Chen Mo knew that Lin Haoyang liked her, but he said that he couldn't live without her.Who in this world can't survive without it?At the beginning, it was said that without Xu Chenxuan, he couldn't live.But don't you live well now?
Who can say clearly about the future?who knows?Chen Mo stood there looking at Lin Haoyang, Lin Haoyang slowly took out a cigarette and lit it.Chen Mo walked over and picked up one and lit it up. Lin Haoyang wanted to pick it up, but Chen Mo seemed to know that he would do this, so he missed it.Chen Mohui smoked. During that time, she relied on tobacco and alcohol to numb herself. The movements she smoked were indescribably elegant, without that sense of decadence. The smoke was lingering like nothingness, and after a few seconds, it became very clear again.

"Do you know? I like smoking, and I like the smell of poppy, which numbs my nerves. There is also a popular saying on the Internet. Smoking is because it hurts the lungs. It is not sad. It is quite correct." She held the cigarette Said, Lin Haoyang has never seen her smoking, did not expect that she is a veteran, Chen Mo smiled at him, very bright, very sunny, as if returning to ten years ago, the girl who was not sad, the girl who was so strong A distressed girl, Chen Mo had already walked to the door when he realized it.

"Sorry, I ruined such an excellent boy." After speaking, she opened the door and left. She was talking about a boy, not a man. In her heart, he was still the boy he used to be, the boy who couldn't say he loved her .

She doesn't remember that night, but she only knows that it was night, she didn't drive, she walked on the road, stepped on step by step, and suddenly felt a sense of solidity in her heart, if she was like this back then, step by step, Instead of being an exchange student, her life must be different. Maybe there will be a husband who loves her, and a child who loves her. Everything is so warm, but it is impossible, really. Impossible, she hated this city, it was full of memories she wanted to forget.Forgotten person, for four years, she was still waiting where she was, but the person she was waiting for was already someone else's fiancé, not hers anymore, she was still waiting, waiting alone, she met him at that place School, falling in love in a short time, and, until now, still missing the person who passed away suddenly... So, she will no longer like anyone, and she even gave up her brilliant youth... Abandon everything in the past... All that awaits her is the empty years ahead, she is just such a person... So you should just give up.

When she walked to a street corner, a coffee shop was playing the piano piece she was familiar with, the-truth-that-you-leave. She liked this piece very much before, but later she didn't want to listen to it, because Xu Chenxuan left, As if the story of this song is her own interpretation, the beginning of the song is the melody, which echoes the beginning and end of the front, creating a sense of ending. When F enters G, there is a small pause, and the F section has the strongest emotion. The length of the pause just allows us to release our emotions and end naturally.It seems that the first part of the song is nostalgia for those good things in the past, and when the music is suddenly repeated and aggravated by an octave higher, the picture changes from those good things.Turning to parting, the girl's face.From happiness to dullness.At the same time, let everyone know that leaving is a fact.

It wasn't until the song was over that she walked forward slowly.If there is someone she loves deeply in front of her, she thinks she will not walk over, but run over, run hard until she walks side by side with him, looks at his face, and imagines a bright future, but now she is in front All that was waiting for her were empty streets and strange pedestrians. Time had cruelly changed many things, love, friendship, and family ties. She suddenly discovered that this world was also so ugly.And those people are still singing happily, that's right.

Ugly things are also sung, and it is precisely because of the ugly things that I have to sing more vigorously. In this way, I can see the beautiful side and make the matter of living more beautiful.

Because living is an ugly thing...

If time could be turned back, she would rather not have met Xu Chenxuan, had not met Lin Haoyang, had not met Xu Chenxuan, would not have fallen in love with him, would not have turned herself into this virtue, had not met Lin Haoyang, would not have ruined a Such an excellent man.This kind of situation seems to be destined, and it is a foregone conclusion in the dark.

If it is forced to change, is it against the law of nature?To be punished by nature?
She didn't know which intersection it was, but it was an intersection anyway, she met Yang Qing, and Yang Qing saw her with sharp eyes.Chen Mo smiled bitterly, and then brushed past her, but Yang Qing held her back without knowing his face. Chen Mo was not a talkative person either, so naturally he just looked at her impatiently, Yang Qing had never seen such a thing before. Chen Mo, slowly let go of his hand, but wanted to say something unwillingly.She wanted to say something, but she didn't want to hear it, so she left.Leave her a shadow.

She was very surprised to meet Yang Qing, but she was even more surprised when Yang Qing held her silent.In her image, Yang Qing is a woman who is good at acting, there is nothing she can't say or do.When he got home, Chen Zihan didn't sleep, because of what happened a few days ago, he didn't talk to her. When he opened the door, Chen Zihan gave her slippers, and put on the slippers. Chen Zihan wanted to say something but didn't dare to say it, so Chen Mo went straight to the kitchen , put on an apron, and Chen Zihan stood behind him, with a small face full of fear. Chen Mo knew his fear, so he didn't say anything, and simply cooked a few dishes.

What would happen if it was her who was ignored by others and worried about being abandoned?In fact, there is nothing wrong with the child, he just wants a father and doesn't have too many demands.She shouldn't be angry, the child is ignorant, and she shouldn't take her anger out on the child.The faults of adults should not be borne by children. Chen Mo persuaded himself while cooking, and struggled with his own thoughts.Chen Zihan was lying on the edge of the kitchen door, only showing a pair of eyes looking at Chen Mo.

"Xiaohan, it's time to wash your hands and eat." Chen Zihan didn't expect Chen Mo to talk to him, so he immediately answered "Okay" ecstatically, and went to the bathroom to wash his hands.Chen Mo looked at Chen Zihan's back, and smiled helplessly. The child is still a child after all. The two sat and ate, and Chen Mo put beef on Chen Zihan's evening meal. Chen Zihan curled his lips, not wanting to eat.He looked at Chen Mo pitifully.

"Be good, eat, Xiaohan is too thin, and I can't protect my mother in the future." Chen Mo persuaded him to eat in disguise, Chen Zihan slowly picked it up and stuffed it into his mouth, chewing very slowly, as if he was taking poison. Mo couldn't stand it anymore, took out two pieces of toilet paper, put it under his mouth, and signaled to spit it out, Chen Zihan shook his head, and said something indistinctly. "Xiao Han wants to protect mother." He continued to bite the beef in his mouth, the speaker had no intention of speaking, and the listener shed tears. Chen Mo only felt that something was stuck in his throat, unable to go up or down.After eating, he watched TV for a while. The local news was broadcasting news about Xu Chenxuan. When Chen Zihan saw Xu Chenxuan was broadcasting on the TV, he sneaked a glance at Chen Mo. Chen Mo's eyes were fixed on the TV.

(End of this chapter)