mermaid toe dance

Chapter 6

In the afternoon, Gu Yun had been holding Zhang Nuanxue carefully, holding her hand tightly, as if she had become a porcelain doll that had been broken and reassembled, and would shatter and shatter again if she was not careful.Everyone knew that she liked to take the train, so all the bus tickets were temporarily changed to train tickets.

And along the way, she didn't say anything, and she didn't show any expression.Being highly myopic, she didn't wear glasses, and her eyes were foggy and unfocused, as if she was looking at everyone, but at the same time, she seemed to be looking at no one.She didn't respond to the noise in the waiting hall of the train station at all, as if she couldn't hear anything.Gu Yun looked at her and felt that she had never been so far away from him.It was so far away that he clearly held her hand, but he couldn't feel her temperature.He clearly looked into her eyes, but he seemed to be looking into a thick fog.He was sitting next to her, but she seemed to be in another world.She becomes invisible.

He felt that Zhang Nuanxue had turned into a silkworm chrysalis, in which she spun silk with all her might, built a thick wall around herself, and protected herself tightly.The iron wall is transparent, so he can still see her.But this unfathomable thickness has completely separated them, and her heart is working desperately inside, spinning, spinning, spinning...

He had never seen her so desperate.

In the past, she was like a heartless kitten, who could have a great time playing with a ball of yarn.She can often amused herself by herself, just like chasing her own tail, she can forget about the troubled kitty.And now, she's a black cat sleeping soundly in the dark, you hear her breathing, you know she's there, but you can't find or see her.

Zhang Nuanxue, are you protecting yourself and putting on your armor from now on?If so, can you not exclude me too?
What is Zhang Nuanxue thinking?She was thinking to herself: What am I thinking?What just happened?Why am I in this city?Who am I looking for?Why does it seem that the body is empty, as if a lot of things have been taken out, but what has been taken out?Why, I suddenly felt so relaxed... She thought of this and smiled relaxedly.

She suddenly smiled, a shallow smile, with the corners of her mouth slightly raised.Gu Yun was worried at first, but now she became at a loss. She smiled like a newborn child, so pure, so simple, so real, so... strange.

Mu Xi and Ji Zhiyan were also taken aback. They hoped that she would respond to everyone's words and show some expressions.But when the corner of her mouth slowly opened into a smile, she felt creepy in her heart, which was more worrying than her expressionless face just now.Mu Xi shook his hand in front of her, Zhang Nuanxue still smiled, and looked away from the window to Mu Xi's face, his eyes became much clearer. "Mu Xi, don't make trouble." She stretched out her hand and gently stopped Mu Xi's hand, then turned to look at Ji Zhiyan next to her: "Zhiyan, can you show me your sketchbook?"

Zhiyan was confused by her gentle voice, and his mind went blank for a while.Is this person in front of her Zhang Nuanxue whom she has known since childhood?Is that Zhang Nuanxue who has been downstairs in her house since kindergarten and called her to go to school together every day, the whole class can hear her talking to her every day after class, and laughs heartlessly and imagelessly every day?Was she overstimulated and had a change of temperament?

"What are you thinking?" Zhang Nuanxue stretched out her hand and shook it in front of her eyes.

"No, it's nothing. It's just that you are a little..." Ji Zhiyan wanted to say but was a little afraid to say it. The Zhang Nuanxue in front of him was really unpredictable.She obediently took out the drawing book and handed it to her, and looked at Gu Yun and Mu Xi with a strange expression.

Gu Yun didn't say anything, Zhang Nuanxue flipped through the picture book seriously and quietly.He looked at her with a strange feeling.When she was in the waiting room just now, she was like a black cat in the dark, alienated and far away.But now, she came out from the darkness.The black cat bent its forelegs, and lay in front of the French windows under the winter sun, eyes closed, her stomach purring, but it felt surprisingly quiet.Gu Yun felt that Zhang Nuanxue, who was quietly looking at the picture book beside her, had become such a black cat, a black cat in the sun.

However, she clearly smiled and showed gentleness, but there was an imperceptible sense of alienation in her bones.It seems that she has really become a familiar stranger, no wonder even Zhi Yan who has such a close relationship with her dare not say anything.

The scenery outside the train window ran out of sight rhythmically, and the sunlight outside the window had already come out. She turned the pages of the picture quietly, without saying a word, smiling at the corner of her mouth, as if nothing happened just now.

In fact, falling out of love is never a matter of one person.Zhang Nuanxue, do you know how embarrassed I was that day?
After I came out from you, I stood in the rain until my whole body was soaked, and then I suddenly realized that I had been standing at the gate of the school and did not go back to the dormitory.

He raised his hand to check the time, the latest long-distance bus from Yancheng to Ningcheng left half an hour away.In half an hour, you leave.

There were people running by all the time, rushing to take a taxi, the taxi price was crazy, and the couples were also rushing to grab the car.A couple got into the car in front of me. Through the window blurred by rain, I could see the girl happily hugging her boyfriend and sending them sweet kisses. I vaguely heard the girl's happy voice: "Fortunately, I caught up , or you won’t be able to catch the long-distance bus.”

"Fortunately, I caught the long-distance bus, otherwise I would not be able to catch the long-distance bus." A few months ago, you snatched a taxi and hugged me in the back seat and said happily.Do you know that you laughed silly, and I called her "brainless", but you didn't care, you just burrowed into my arms.I like to hug you gently, you will suddenly open a pair of big watery eyes mysteriously, pretending to be mysterious: "Put your ears here, let me tell you a secret." As soon as I leaned over, you quickly kissed my cheek , and then buried his head into my neck and exhaled, tickling me.I had no choice but to catch her, lock you in my arms, and not allow you to make trouble, but you just "giggled" and laughed.

The moment the car drove away, I finally saw my heart clearly: Zhang Nuanxue, don't leave me!I can't let you leave me!You are mine and you will always be mine!I hailed the car like crazy, but my foot was seriously injured, and I could only watch the taxis being snatched away by others in front of my eyes, and I was furious.He took off his coat and threw it away.

"Brother?! What are you doing?!" Xia Yu's voice came from behind.Xia Yu had received a call from me a long time ago saying that the matter was over, and she would go back to school immediately to invite her to dinner, but after waiting for several hours, she still didn't receive me.

When Xia Yu came out with an umbrella, she saw Shen Ruiqian looked like an abandoned child, embarrassed and angry, but there was a lot of fear in his eyes, afraid of losing something.

"Xia Yu, help me hail the car, I'm going to the station, hurry up!!" He saw Xia Yu and immediately yelled at her.Xia Yu was frightened by his appearance, and immediately came over to help him hold the umbrella, but he just pushed her to stop the car.Seeing him flustered and anxious like that, a couple thought that he might really be in a hurry, so they kindly gave him the car.After getting on the bus, Xia Yu kept thanking the other party, Shen Ruiqian just impatiently asked the driver to drive immediately and hurried to the long-distance station.

Along the way, Xia Yu wanted to help him wipe off the rain, but was blocked by Shen Ruiqian.He didn't say anything, his hands were tightly clenched, his face was expressionless, a little scary.Xia Yu didn't dare to say anything.

Zhang Nuanxue, after that time, I never experienced the same fear again.do you know?The fear of losing a loved one.

We let go on the edge of a cliff, let a love fall, and the memories spewed out and filled the air, and at that moment we woke up: what I lost was my love, how could I break it?So we chased desperately, wanted to get it back, but were afraid that time would not give us a chance to regret it.We who fell together fell into the fear of losing, panicking.

When he arrived at the station, 5 minutes before the departure, he stumbled, gritted his teeth and reluctantly entered the departure point.Wet, he eagerly looked for her figure, but found no trace of her. "Zhang Nuanxue! Where are you? Come out!" He stood in the middle of the waiting hall in a panic and yelled, but what answered him was a sudden silence, followed by pointing and chattering from everyone , and she still didn't show up.

Where are you, don't scare me, didn't you promise me that you wouldn't ignore me?Didn't you say that if I call you, you will come?Didn't you say that I am your master?Where did you go... The weakness at that moment finally defeated the stubbornness in one fell swoop, the pain in his feet came from his heart, his legs went limp, and he knelt down on the cold ground.

"Brother, don't be like this. Don't be nervous, maybe she hasn't left yet, maybe she's on the next bus, can you sit down and wait for her first?" Xia Yu quickly helped him up and sat on the nearest chair.Shen Ruiqian calmed down after hearing her words: "Yes, there are several buses, maybe she hasn't left yet, maybe she hasn't left yet..."

It turns out that when we are desperate, we all choose to deceive ourselves. Is this an instinct?
There was a constant flow of people at the station, and the long-distance buses to Ningcheng departed one after another, like a fast-moving scene in a movie, but you never appeared in any corner.I don't know, the train you took left at the railway station half an hour after I arrived at the long-distance station.

The silent distance dragged farther and farther as the train rumbled.

The rain outside gradually stopped, but the sky gradually became dark.The coldness and darkness swallowed up my remaining hope little by little.I raised my head and searched in the hall for the last time, but I didn't find you, but the memory was like a TV screen that couldn't be turned off, and it kept on happening, and I couldn't escape.

The small shop at the entrance of the station, you once ran over with your red backpack on your back, poked your head out of it a few minutes later and shouted at me sitting on the bench: "Qian, Qian! I found out that you like Do you want the bubble gum to eat, and the Wangzai you like to drink?" Everyone in the station smiled at you, you bad girl, do you know how ugly you are.I used the excuse that I thought you were ashamed, and secretly bit your mouth after you came back.You feel aggrieved, you lower your head and don't speak, muttering words, but in fact, I just want to find an excuse to kiss you.

There are still bubble gum and Wangzi in the small shop, but you don’t buy them for me. Are you not afraid that I will be angry if someone else bought them all? Why don’t you show up to buy them for me?
The chestnut shop next to the small shop has your favorite sugar-fried chestnuts. You have run over to buy a big bag again and again: "Qian, Qian, I like to eat this, you can peel it for me, okay, okay?" ?” You rub your head against his chest, but I don’t care. "Otherwise, I'll peel the chestnuts for you to eat." I had expected that if you couldn't get a bargain, you would be good-looking, and then started peeling the chestnuts seriously.One for me, one for me, one for you, one for me, one for me, one for you... Actually, I just want to enjoy the privilege of being loved by you.

Are you angry that I don’t peel the chestnuts for you, come back, my husband will peel them for you to eat, this time I don’t want any of them, I will feed them all to you, show up soon, or I will feed others, don’t you be afraid ?

You like to sit there waiting for the bus and put your legs up on mine.I always love to tease you: "Legs are so thick and heavy, why don't you put them on my legs and take them away." Tuan curled up in my arms.Then, after sitting for a while, he began to deflate his mouth and stop talking. "What's wrong?" "I don't want to leave..." You burst into tears without warning, rubbing the tears and snot on my chest.

You are not fat, your legs are neither thick nor heavy, I just want to tease you, I think you are a chubby little pig, only belongs to me, will not be stared at by other boys, you show up, I Don't laugh at you anymore because you are fat, don't you want to leave me, you show up, I will go to Ningcheng with you, okay?

When the train is about to start, you just pretend to be dumbfounded, pretend to have a stomachache, and try your best to be foolish, but you have to cry miserably to get on the train.After getting in the car, you always rush out of the car to give me a hug when the driver is not driving.How many times have you, a silly girl, vomited to death after getting off the five-hour bus at noon on Saturday, and returned to Ningcheng by car on Sunday afternoon, and you felt motion sick and vomited to death.

You like me to hold you, don’t you? Come back to me. I won’t let go of you anymore. It doesn’t matter how long I hold you. I won’t let you work so hard. If you show up now, I will promise you. I will go by car in the future. I'm looking for you, okay?
I looked around and around, and there were marks of your existence everywhere, but you really left my life, and I pushed you to others with my own hands.Did I neglect you myself?Do I really think that you will only belong to me forever?Am I not going to care about your unreserved attitude toward me?Is it true that I have lost you forever...

We always don't cherish when we have it, but we still sneer and say that this is a cliché that everyone knows.People, if you don't regret it, you don't know how to cherish it.

(End of this chapter)