within Temptation

Chapter 333 The Pain of Regret

Although this is just my guess, the more I think about it, the more likely it is!Today's Fei Leina is no longer the innocent girl she was four years ago.She endured the humiliation, remained calm, and quietly gained control of the power of the family, and even made those who were loyal to her mother all swear allegiance to her.

How can these things be done without scheming and means?How can a person who is so firm and resolute and has the ability to turn clouds and rain easily collapse and go crazy?

In an instant, I realized that I might have been deceived by the way Felena was acting.She was very clear-headed at the moment, and the emotions that seemed to be out of control just now were probably faked by her.The purpose is to make me mistakenly think that she will go crazy because of this blow, and use my sympathy to temporarily stop me from saying what she doesn't want to hear.

Then, she started seducing me.Not only did she tease me with movements, but she also said that she would open a room in a hotel, as long as I wanted, she would be mine tonight!

If Fei Leina is still the innocent girl in my impression, can she say such bold words?If I really went to the hotel with her, I would fall into her trick.From then on, she was firmly in her hands, and she no longer had the power to choose!

These thoughts just flashed through my mind.Immediately, I calmed down, stretched out my hand and gently pulled Feleina's arm around my neck, stood up and said, "I have my own home, why go to the hotel? I'm sorry, it's almost time, I should go home !"

Fei Leina's face suddenly changed color, she was as smart as her, and immediately realized that the situation was not good.She rolled her eyes and immediately smiled and said, "What's the matter? I was just joking, are you serious?"

I shook my head expressionlessly, picked up my coat from the other end of the sofa, and said while putting it on, "I really have to go. If you still want to sing, then you can stay here by yourself."

Saying that, I didn't look at her again, turned around and walked directly to the door of the box, opened the door and walked out.In the ear, Fei Leina shouted angrily in the box: "Dai Yong, you... what are you doing? Come back, don't leave!"

But without any hesitation, I strode towards the exit of the karaoke hall.At the same time, I decided in my heart not to worry so much.After going out, I called Fei Leina and told her my final choice.Anyway, that's what I came to find her for.As for why I don't tell her face to face now, it's because I'm afraid of being confused by Fei Leina's expression and shaking my determination.

When I got to the ground floor and stepped out of the elevator, I took out my cell phone from my pocket.While still striding towards the exit, he dialed Fei Leina's number.

Only, when I put the phone to my ear and look up.Suddenly, I stopped immediately.

Because, I saw that outside the glass door of the building, there was a vast expanse of whiteness!The neon lights outside the building were shining, and I could clearly see the goose-feather-like snowflakes flying in the air!

Snowing?It actually... snowed?

Four years ago, it was because of the snow that the love between Fei Leina and I was promoted.Unexpectedly, four years later, when I made up my mind to break up with her, God unexpectedly...it snowed again!
I stared blankly at the heavy snow all over the sky, and my heart was full of tenderness for a while, feeling inexplicable!
At this time, the mobile phone next to my ear suddenly connected, and Fei Leina's breathless voice came immediately: "Dai Yong, where are you? I know I was wrong, please don't go, listen to my explanation..."

I didn't answer, just stared blankly at the flying snowflakes outside.The deepest scene buried deep in my memory resurfaced in my mind again.

Immediately afterwards, I seemed to hear a rush of footsteps coming from the corridor behind me.After a while, footsteps rushed out of the corridor, and someone shouted: "Dai Yong, wait for me and listen to my explanation."

The footsteps were getting closer, and I could hear Fei Leina's heavy breathing.I remained motionless, staring blankly at the heavy snow outside.

Three seconds later, Fei Leina ran to my side and grabbed my arm.The violent running made her gasp for breath for a while, unable to say anything.

I didn't go to see her, but slowly put down the phone and said softly, "Felina, it's snowing!"

Fei Leina didn't seem to pay attention to the outside at all, panting, while saying: "Wh... what? What's next..."

Having said that, she suddenly lost her voice.I turned my head and saw that her eyes had already looked outside, and her expression seemed so surprised.

I know that Fei Leina also has a deep memory of the heavy snow four years ago.And now, at the same place, at the same time, saw the same heavy snow.She must have felt the same way I did.

After a long time, I heard her murmur: "It's snowing, it's really... It's snowing!"

Then, she let go of my arm and walked straight forward.The induction glass door opened automatically, and a gust of cold wind blew in immediately.But Fei Leina didn't seem to feel the cold at all, so she just walked out, like four years ago, into the snow outside.

It's just that I didn't see her dancing happily, and I didn't even see her raising her hands to the sky like a child.She just stood in the snow stupidly, letting the heavy snow fall on her body.

In my heart, I couldn't bear it, and I walked out immediately before the glass door was closed, and shouted: "Felina, you are not a child anymore, be careful that you will catch a cold if you get wet!"

Fei Leina slowly turned around in the snow, just like that, looking at me silently.Under the flickering neon lights above the building, I found that there seemed to be tears reflecting in her eyes.

I had no choice but to walk into the snow. I was about to persuade her, but she suddenly said in a low voice: "Really...don't you give me a chance? Even if I work so hard, even if I am willing to sacrifice for you!" everything?"

I stood still and remained silent.

Fei Leina, I really understand why I am looking for her tonight.In other words, she deliberately pretended to be emotionally out of control, and even offered to share a room with me at the expense of her daughter's face. It was all a last-ditch effort.

But at this moment, my mind has been made up, and there will be no more wavering!

So, I hardened my heart, nodded, and said, "Yes, I'm sorry!"

Fei Leina's tears finally fell quietly.She remained motionless, letting the heavy snow fly down, covering her whole body.

Time seemed to stand still like this.Fei Leina and I stood silently in the heavy snow, relatively speechless.

In my heart, I feel very uncomfortable. If it is not impossible, I really don't want to hurt a girl who loves me so much.However, without hurting her, this matter cannot be resolved.In order to protect my wife and the family I already have, even if I will go to hell after I die, I must commit this sin today.

So, although Fei Leina's tears made me feel like a knife, I still gritted my teeth and showed unmoved.At this moment, I just want to speak clearly and leave quickly.I didn't have the courage to keep looking at Fei Leina's desperate and painful expression.

So, I spoke.Suppressing the trembling in her heart, she said word by word: "Feleina, forget about me! I am the one who is sorry for you, I am the one who failed you. No matter how much you hate me, I have no complaints. Just please, Take care of yourself and think about it, huh?"

Fei Leina didn't answer, she just looked at me without saying a word, as if the whole person had lost the ability to respond.

I had no choice but to sigh in a low voice, wanting to say something, but found that no matter what I said, it was so pale.

Then let’s not talk about it, anyway, what I mean has already been expressed clearly.What Fei Leina needs is not my consolation, but to quietly and slowly digest and accept this reality.

The snow was getting heavier and heavier, I said "goodbye" in a low voice, and braved the wind and snow, and left here.Instead of going home, I found a bar and got drunk as hard as I could.

When you're drunk, you don't think so much.Drunk to the point of unconsciousness, that kind of heart-wrenching feeling will not torture me all the time.

When I woke up, I found that it was already dawn.It's just that the headache is so bad that I can't figure out where I am.Struggling to sit up and shaking my head vigorously, I realized that I was at home, lying on my own bed.But when I came back, I had no memory at all.

"Hey? Are you awake? Lie down and don't move. I'll get you a glass of warm water."

I heard the voice of my wife Tang Xiaoru, and I turned my head with difficulty, and saw her running out of the room in a hurry, and came in with a glass of warm water in a blink of an eye.

"Come on, drink some warm water, are you hungry? I'll make you breakfast right away."

Seeing my wife taking good care of me by my side, although I was still a little confused about the situation, I subconsciously asked, "What time is it?"

"Well, it's almost nine o'clock in the morning."

I took the water glass, first said "Really?" Then I raised my head and drank it clean.

After drinking the water, my mind became clearer, and I looked down to see that I was only wearing underwear, obviously Tang Xiaoru helped me take it off.Thinking about it carefully, I still couldn't remember how I came back, so I asked, "Did I come back by myself last night?"

Tang Xiaoru smiled and took the glass of water I drank, shook her head and said: "No, I called you, and a bar attendant picked up, saying that you were drunk and unconscious, so I went to pick you up. "

I groaned, stretched out my hand and patted my forehead, and said with a wry smile, "I'm sorry, I must have exhausted you, right?"

Tang Xiaoru still shook her head, stretched out her hand to tidy up my messy hair, and said softly, "Why do you drink so much? Is it because of Fei Leina?"

When it comes to Fei Leina, I feel a pain in my heart.Sighing, I lifted the quilt and got out of bed.Tang Xiaoru hurriedly said, "Why are you getting up? You drank so much, so you should have a good rest at home today!"

I smiled and said, "I'm going to the bathroom."

Now, Tang Xiaoru finally had nothing to say.She took my coat and put it on me, and helped me walk outside the house.I didn't want her to help me at first, but after a hangover, my steps are a bit vain.If you don't get supported, you might fall down.Anyway, Tang Xiaoru is my wife, so I don't need to be brave in front of her, so I let her support me.

When I was urinating, Tang Xiaoru suddenly said: "By the way, around two o'clock in the morning, your confidante Lu Fei called you twice."

I froze and said, "It's two o'clock in the morning? What's the matter?"

Tang Xiaoru shook her head and said, "I didn't answer, and I thought she was too noisy, so I turned off your mobile phone. If you want to know why she is looking for you, you can call her back now and ask her."

When I saw these words, Tang Xiaoru pouted her mouth with a very dissatisfied expression.After thinking about it, I can't blame her.Let me ask, would that woman be happy when she saw another woman calling her husband in the early morning?Now that she can tell me, it is already very good.

I had no choice but to smile apologetically at my wife, shake my little brother, and put it back in my pants.On the way back to the bedroom, I already guessed why Lu Fei called me at two o'clock in the morning.Most likely, Fei Leina went to her last night and cried to her about being abandoned by me.Lu Fei felt angry, that's why she called me, and was going to scold me, right?

Alas, I should be scolded.Even if Lu Fei broke up with me in a fit of anger, I have nothing to say.These... are all my retribution, my crime is unforgivable!

Lying back on the bed, I didn't look for my phone to call Lu Fei back.Instead, he just leaned against the pillow and stared at the opposite wall in a daze.Tang Xiaoru seemed to see that I was in a bad mood, so she just said to make breakfast and walked out quietly.

It took a long, long time before I came back to my senses and felt that I should call back this call.Not for anything else, just to ask about Fei Leina's situation.

I know that last night must have been the most painful moment in Fei Leina's life. Although having Lu Fei with her made me feel a little bit at ease, I was still worried that if something happened to me, I would die forever.

So, I found my mobile phone, turned it on, and found out Lu Fei's number and dialed it.The call was connected quickly, and before I could speak, I heard Lu Fei's roar in my ear: "Dai Yong, what's the matter with you? Why didn't you answer my call last night? Something serious happened to you do you know?"

Immediately, my whole body trembled, and an extremely ominous feeling came to my heart in an instant.I almost jumped out of the bed, and asked eagerly with my trembling voice: "What... what happened? What happened? Tell me quickly!"

"Feleina is currently in the hospital for emergency treatment. I don't know whether she is dead or alive. When we found her this morning, she was buried in the snow, frozen like a popsicle, and her heartbeat was gone. Let me ask you, Were you with her last night? What did you do to her? Why did she..."

Hearing this, my hands trembled, and the phone fell to the ground with a bang and broke into pieces.Then, there was a buzzing in my head.Huge fear and remorse pierced my heart like a sharp sword...

It wasn't until someone shook me and asked me what was wrong that I woke up from the extreme fear.Turning my head, I saw my wife Tang Xiaoru.Immediately, my eyes were red, and the huge stimulation of regret made me lose my mind, and I yelled at her desperately: "Why didn't you answer Lu Fei's call? Why didn't you tell me someone called me until now?" my phone?"

Tang Xiaoru's face turned pale with fright, and she said frightenedly, "What...what's the matter? What...is something wrong?"

Hearing the word "accident", I almost spit out blood on the spot.

What happened?Yes, something really happened.Actually... I should have expected it a long time ago, it was my fault, it was all my fault.I deserve death, I can't be forgiven!
At this time, I can't use words to describe the regret and pain in my heart.I can avoid it!I can avoid it!Dai Yong, you bastard, you killed Fei Leina, you killed her with your own hands!

Thinking of this, I raised my fist, yelled suddenly, and started hitting my head violently.While smashing it, he hissed loudly: "I'm not human! I'm not human! I'm a murderer! I deserve death!"

After only two slaps, Tang Xiaoru on one side was so frightened that she started to cry, she rushed over and grabbed my hand, and shouted, "Dai Yong, Dai Yong, don't do this, what happened, tell me?"

The two punches hit my head, although it was extremely painful, but it made me regain my senses all of a sudden.I ignored my wife next to me, pushed her away, and rushed barefoot into the living room outside.

My mobile phone was broken, so I picked up the landline phone in the living room, dialed Lu Fei's mobile phone again from memory, and asked, "Lu Fei, which hospital is Fei Leina in now? How is she doing?" ? Is there any help?"

In fact, when I asked this sentence, I was already prepared in my heart.If Felena is dead, then I will never live.If she hadn't died, I would never let this happen again.

At this moment, I have clearly realized that Fei Leina will die if she loses me!I have no choice, and I can't help myself!
On the phone, Lu Fei cried and replied: "We are in the No. [-] Hospital of the city, and Fei Leina is still in the emergency room for several hours. I don't know...whether she can be saved..."

I said, "I'll be right over!" I put down the phone, turned around and rushed to the door.When I opened the door, I heard Tang Xiaoru shouting: "Where are you going? You don't have any clothes on!"

But, I can't take care of that much anymore.While rushing out the door and running, he shouted in his heart: "Felina, I'm here! Whether it's dead or alive, I'll accompany you!"

Four and 10 minutes later, I had arrived at the City's No. [-] Hospital.Tang Xiaoru also came with me, because without her driving, I couldn't have arrived so quickly.In the car, I put on the clothes and shoes she had brought because I had calmed down and was less impulsive and desperate.

Although, I kind of regret the yelling and questioning at her just now, all of this is actually not her fault.But at the moment I'm not in the mood to explain this, I just want to come to Feleina's side quickly and wait for the result of life or death between me and her.

Along the way, Tang Xiaoru didn't dare to ask me a word.As smart as she is, she actually guessed what happened.Seeing my extremely serious expression, she could only silently shed tears while driving silently.

Getting off the car and rushing into the hospital, I immediately saw Lu Fei who was waiting in the hall downstairs.I didn't say anything, so I went directly to ask: "How is it? Is there any result?"

Then, I saw Lu Fei's smile, she nodded her head and said: "Well, I just came out 10 minutes ago. The doctor said that I finally saved my life, but she is still very weak..."

Hearing this sentence, the strength in my whole body seemed to be sucked away by something, and I almost couldn't support it and fell down.I simply knelt down, lay on the ground with my forehead touching the ground, and murmured, "Thank you heaven... thank you earth..."

PS: I got too drunk at a friend's party last night, and today I have more than 5 words. Is it more than enough?I know that some people will say that it is wrong for Dai Yong to treat Tang Xiaoru like this.But there is no reason for a person who is under the burden of remorse to lose his mind.Moreover, when Dai Yong yelled at her, he was actually yelling at himself, he was just venting the pain in his heart.Deep down in his heart, he didn't blame others, the only person he hated was himself.

(End of this chapter)