Li Yinhe talks about sex

Chapter 11 Should You Be Virgin
In the sense that man is a sexual being, it is healthy both physically and psychologically, since man's exigencies cannot be postponed until adulthood.

Recently, several college students in Sichuan issued a declaration pledging to remain virgins. Their views are already a minority view in China today.In Western countries, there are also people who engage in similar activities, but of course they are very few.

In the past 20 years, among the various sexual behaviors of Chinese people, perhaps the biggest change is the massive increase of premarital sexual behavior and the drastic change of premarital sexual behavior norms.A random sample survey I conducted in Beijing in 1989 showed that, regardless of whether the two had confirmed their relationship or not, 15.5% of the sample had had premarital sexual relations.According to the latest survey data, premarital sex has reached 69% of women in Shanghai, and as high as 86% of women in Guangzhou.This rate is on par with the level of premarital sexual activity after the sexual revolution in the West.

In Western countries, in the process of modernization and urbanization, the norms and concepts of premarital sex have all undergone tremendous changes.Premarital sex has increased in all countries.This change did not happen suddenly, but first appeared in Western society as countries moved toward modernization.

Premarital sexual norms are a sensitive indicator reflecting changes in social attitudes towards sex.In the United States, this change is very obvious.The incidence of premarital sex among adolescents has increased dramatically over the past 100 years.Observations of American society in the 20th century show that the incidence of premarital sex among adolescents has changed significantly.According to Kinsey's survey data, in the past, the proportion of people who had premarital sex was low, and premarital sex often led to the breakdown of marriages. Only 1900 of the women born before 18 had premarital sex by the age of 20; the proportion of women born between 1910 and 1919 had tripled by the age of 20.

The Kinsey survey found that 90% of men had sexual intercourse with girlfriends or prostitutes before marriage; 50% of married women had premarital sex.Regarding the relationship between premarital sex and education level, there is a positive correlation among women (the higher the level of education, the more premarital sex), and a negative correlation among men (the higher the level of education, the less premarital sex), Only 30% of women with a junior high school education have had premarital sex; 47% of those with a high school education; and over 60% of those with a postgraduate education.

In the decades after the Kinsey survey, the proportion of premarital sex in the United States has increased significantly: 15 in 20 young people who have sex at the age of 70; 1974% by the age of 25; Three out of four people of both sexes had premarital sex.A 97 national survey of U.S. adults found that by the age of 81, 1972 percent of men and 29 percent of women had had premarital sex.A French survey in 75 showed that 55% of men and 1973% of women had premarital sex by the age of 21.Statistics from the former West Germany in 44 showed that by the age of 33, 81% of unmarried college students and 83% of women had premarital sex; among unmarried workers, 78% of men and 20% of women had premarital sex.According to a survey conducted by the American "Psychology Today" magazine, 70% of the magazine's female readers have had premarital sexual intercourse. A survey of married women by Playboy magazine in the early 55s showed that only 31% of the over-81 age group had premarital intercourse, and the youngest age group had premarital intercourse. But as high as 99%.The most extreme figures come from Sweden, where [-] percent of women, like men, have had sex before forming a permanent union.

In countries where premarital sex is the norm for the majority of the population, it is hard to think of it as a violation of social norms.Because the so-called norm is the code of conduct for most people.Once a certain behavior becomes the practice of the majority of people, it should not be considered as a violation of social norms of behavior.

With the change of premarital sexual behavior of the general population, people's requirements for virginity when they get married have changed a lot.In the United States, statistics on 18 mate selection criteria show that in the 30s, virginity was ranked 10th in importance; by 1977, women ranked it 17th (2nd last) and men ranked it 18th 1 digits (33st last digit).According to a survey of about 10000 people in [-] countries, those who value virginity most are China, India, Indonesia, Iran, and Israel; those who value virginity the least are Sweden, Norway, Finland, the Netherlands, Germany, and France.The US also places less emphasis on virginity, but not to the same degree as the Nordic countries.Other surveys show that Asians, Mexicans, Middle Easterners and South Americans value the virginity of their partners; Americans, Belgians, French and Scandinavians are more tolerant.Some may even view a partner's virginity as a shortcoming, either because the partner proves unattractive or because they worry that the partner is too sexually inexperienced.

If we compare the premarital sexual norms in contemporary China with the traditional Chinese sexual ethics, the changes are more obvious: traditional sexual ethics not only completely prohibit premarital sex, but even holding hands, kissing and hugging are not allowed. Fortunately, they had no contact or even acquaintances before marriage.In this sense, I think that what is truly revolutionary may not be the increase in the proportion of premarital sex, but the general physical contact (handholding, kissing, hugging, caressing, etc.) before marriage.Because this is the behavior that was not at all in the past, but almost everyone will do it now; this is the behavior that was not allowed at all in the past, but is now fully allowed and even appreciated.A real shift in sexual norms takes place here.This is truly revolutionary change.

In a nutshell, there are three kinds of norms for premarital sexual activities: the first is traditional sexual norms, which regard reproduction as the main purpose of sex, and therefore firmly oppose premarital sex; the second is romantic sexual norms, which advocate, Love should be the main point of sex, so it is against casual sex, but if the two parties have love, premarital sex is acceptable; the third is liberal sexual norms, which believe that sex is a human right , People can dispose of their own bodies according to their own will, so as long as both parties are willing, they can have premarital sex.Judging from China's current development trend, we are developing from the first norm, through the second norm, to the third norm.In other words, fewer and fewer people believe in and practice traditional sexual norms; more and more people choose romantic sexual norms; the situation will eventually develop to liberal sexual norms.

People who are positive about premarital sex believe that the benefits of premarital sex include: It is beneficial to health both physically and psychologically in the sense that people are sexual beings, because people's urgent needs It cannot be delayed until adulthood, and there are still about 10 years between puberty and adulthood.Some people marry later or even never, and it is difficult to ask them to remain virgin.Currently in both the United States and France, about a quarter of the population is single, and it is completely unrealistic to require them to remain virgins.No matter how strict the social norms for premarital sexual activities are, as the number of people participating in this practice increases day by day, the norms will have to change. Premarital sexual behaviors that were considered to violate social norms of sexual behavior in the past will gradually be accepted by social norms, although In many societies, this acceptance is very reluctant.Therefore, in my opinion, the wishes of these college students in Sichuan are just a reflection of the old morality and norms, and the decline of the concept of virginity is inevitable.

(End of this chapter)