Li Yinhe talks about sex

Chapter 39 Yang Zhenning and the Cross-Band Relationship
Mr. Yang Zhenning's brave choice has set an example for us.

Mr. Yang Zhenning married a 82-year-old woman at the age of 28. This incident was indeed a bit shocking and caused a lot of discussion.

People first thought that this marriage might be a sexless marriage.In fact, it is not necessarily a sexless marriage, because sexological surveys have found that 82 years old does not necessarily completely lose the ability to have sexual intercourse.In addition, the definition of sexual behavior should not be limited to the narrow category of penis-vaginal intercourse. Strictly speaking, caressing and kissing should also belong to the broad category of sex.Taking a step back, even if this marriage is asexual, it is entirely possible to be a happy marriage.In today's world, the phenomenon of "asexuals" has emerged, and they are entering the mainstream.This group of people believes that the most indestructible love between them and their partners without sex is without any conditions.They set up a forum on the Internet to let the world hear their voices. They put forward in the forum: Women can't make me feel good, and neither can men.They even have their slogan printed on their clothes: "I'm asexual and so is my lover!"

The key to the uproar caused by Mr. Yang's marriage is that it is an intergenerational relationship, that is, the age difference between the two parties is so large that they do not belong to the same generation.This raises the question of whether and whether we should rank relationships.In the traditional or conservative way of thinking, human sexual relations are divided into high and low levels.For example, a relationship of similar age is a high-level relationship, and a relationship with a large age span is a low-level relationship; a heterosexual relationship is a high-level relationship, and a homosexual relationship is a low-level relationship; a one-to-one relationship is a high-level relationship. Many relationships belong to low-level relationships, and so on.Robin, a famous American feminist scholar, once justified the name of "intergenerational relationship" in a very famous article, proposing that it should not be considered that only the sexual relationship of the same generation is a high-level relationship, and the intergenerational sexual relationship is a low-level relationship.

Robin points out that in this hierarchical thinking, "good," "normal," and "natural" relationships ideally would be heterosexual, marital, monogamous, reproductive It should be sexual and non-commercial; it should be between a couple, it should be in an intimate relationship, it should be between generations, and it should be in the home; it should not use obscenities, fetishes, What kind of sex toys, or characters other than male and female characters.Any sexual activity that violates these rules is "immoral," "abnormal," or "unnatural."These harmful sexual acts in violation of general rules may be homosexual, non-marital, promiscuous, non-reproductive, or commercial, may be masturbatory in nature, or occur at a sex Happens by chance, perhaps across generational lines, perhaps in 'public places', or at least in the bushes or in the bathroom.It may include obscenity, fetish paraphernalia, sex toys, or use of unusual characters.

Robin also deliberately made a picture to illustrate the sexual hierarchy.Most evaluation systems are all about trying to determine which side of the line a particular relationship or behavior should be placed on.On one side of the dividing line is virtue and on the other side is vice.The farther away from that dividing line a certain sexual act is, the more sublime it is, or the more evil it is.In the past few decades, judging from the development trend of the West, some relations that belonged to the evil side have gradually moved closer to the dividing line, and there is even a tendency to cross the dividing line.For example, cohabitation among unmarried couples, masturbation, and one-on-one relationships among gay couples are gradually moving towards respectability.However, promiscuous homosexual relationships, sadomasochism, fetishes, cross-dressing, trans-generational sex, and trans-generational sex are still viewed as irremediably horrific, with no possibility of emotion, love, free choice, benevolence or spiritual sublimation.

Instead of a hierarchy of relationships, we should develop a notion of difference in relationships that acknowledges that there are differences in relationships but never ranks them.This is another kind of multiple values.This pluralistic value recognizes that human nature is extremely rich and diverse, so we should never fit human relationships into a so-called only correct model.In this sense, Mr. Yang Zhenning's brave choice has set an example for us.

(End of this chapter)