Otaku man rotten goddess horse is the most annoying

Chapter 18 A love story that ended up being a pile of excrement
1
Two days after the agreed deadline, the editor in charge finally started to urge me. She said, "Hurry up and deliver the manuscript! I was sick and didn't urge you two days ago! Now I can't wait any longer!"

"Two days without you is like two years to me."

"Do you believe it? In the past two days, I only did one thing. That is - miss you."

"Yes. I, miss you."

"Other than that, I don't even remember if I was breathing."

After I finished saying the above, the responsible editor "..." for a while, and then said, "So you didn't write a single word, did you?!"

bingo!
2
One Saturday, Xiao Lu and I went back to her hometown to visit her parents.As soon as I walked in, I saw a rabbit.Rabbit!It's the kind of real big white rabbit that can move!It is said that it was given by Xiaolu's mother's friend.The rabbit looks silly and cute, and we played with it for a long time.Then at night, it was discovered that the rabbit actually had the bad habit of defecating everywhere, and Xiaolu's mother, who worked as a cleaner, was devastated by this.

The next day was Sunday, and I went out on a date with Xiaolu.When I came back from the appointment, I found that the rabbit had been given away by Xiaolu's mother.The little deer said to me sadly: "My mother is too much. Of course the rabbit doesn't know where to defecate without teaching it. But even if this is the case, there is no need to give it away. If you teach it well, it will definitely understand. .”

I comforted him and said, "I've given it all away, don't be sad. I believe the new owner will love it very much."

The little deer said sadly: "They won't kill it to eat meat?"

I said, "No, it's so cute."

The deer said, "Really?"

I said, "Sure."

At this time the phone rang, and Mother Xiaolu said happily after picking it up: "The rabbit tastes good, right? That's good, that's good, hehe, look at what you said, how polite you are."

Xiaolu and I "..." at the same time.

Humans are cruel!

3
When I went to the roof to dry clothes with my uncle, I saw a few white pigeons landed on the roof.Suddenly we had the idea of ​​improving our meals.The uncle said: "Do you know how to catch birds?" I said: "Yes, set up a basket with a wooden stick, sprinkle some millet on the bottom, and the stupid birds will come in to eat, and then we will pull the stick to catch it." I fastened them." The uncle said, "But where can we find the baskets?" I also felt very distressed.

Then we walked back to the dormitory, and when I saw the rice cooker, my eyes suddenly lit up, and I said to the uncle: "There is a way, let's use chopsticks to lift the lid of the rice cooker, put rice in it, and when the birds come in, we will pull the rope to let the bird come in." Put the lid on and start steaming the bird directly. What do you think of the plan?"

The uncle looked at me with pity.

4
Go ahead and talk about the things I cook and eat on my own.That day I suddenly wanted to make fried pork cutlets, so I went to the supermarket and bought some marinated pork cutlets in honey sauce. When I came back, according to the recipe on the Internet, I wrapped the pork cutlets in flour and then threw them into the egg liquid to fully soak them.Originally, there was another layer of bread crumbs on the outside, but I didn't have that, so I gave up.

I filled the pan with oil, then threw the pork chops into it, only to hear a "crash"... the egg liquid wrapped on the pork chops separated directly and became a poached egg!The pork chops were burnt while losing their powder.

Bread crumbs are really important!

5
I recall a composition I read as a child.The main idea of ​​the content is that the summer vacation is coming soon, and the teacher started to send out summer homework.At this time, he suddenly found that one of his homework was missing.This means that one student will have no homework to do during the summer vacation.What can I do?Looking at the teacher's anxious eyes, "I" felt a surge of wind and clouds in my heart, and I really wanted to stand up and tell the teacher that I don't want my summer homework.But "I" thought about it again, I have to go to school next year, so I should do more homework. This summer homework is so good, how can I not do it for nothing?Under the shadow of selfishness, "I" finally said nothing.At this time, the squad leader stood up!He said to the teacher in a firm voice, teacher, don't worry, I don't want homework this summer.After listening to the monitor's words, the teacher and classmates looked at him approvingly and applauded.Amid the applause, "I" bowed his head in shame, and blamed himself over and over again: Are you worthy of being a young pioneer? How regretful "I" is...

...What a wonderful article with imagination.

6
We recently published a book of fairy tales.Because the inner cover needs the author's photo, the editor asked me for it.But I didn't know which photo to use after picking and choosing, so I had to ask Xiaolu for my reference. Even so, the progress was still slow.Later I got annoyed and said, "Forget it, I won't look for it anymore. Don't Japanese cartoonists put some strange pictures in their booklets as their own photos? I'll just follow their example." Xiaolu said: "In this case, it's even more important. I found it, is there anything weirder than your appearance?"

... Are you really my girlfriend?
7
On the weekend, Xiaolu and I went to see "Sherlock Holmes".After watching it, I found that a nearby restaurant was offering a 8.8% discount on the movie ticket of the day, so I decided to participate.Every dish in the store is luxurious, such as abalone, bird's nest, sea cucumber, goose palm, and shark's fin.The well-trained waiters quickly removed the tableware when we finished eating a dish, and the table was basically cleared when we finished eating.

But Xiao Lu and I were still indulging in a sense of satisfaction, so we thought it would be better to order some more snacks.So we turned over the menu for a long time, and finally chose a plate of sour plum and peanuts.So, in a restaurant full of taste and luxury, a young man and a woman are surrounded by people who are eating delicacies from mountains and seas. You and I share a palm-sized peanut with each other.In the surprised, pitiful, and mocking eyes of passers-by, I seem to see the idiom "poor couples mourn everything"...

We just ate something good!

8
A few friends and I used to have a well-known group animation blog called "Acgtalk", but unfortunately it was shut down a while ago.Everyone is not used to it, and they all look forward to the day when this station will be serialized again.However, the administrator of the website is from Huawei, who happened to be assigned to Africa. Since then, it has been inconvenient to surf the Internet, and we have not seen him for a long time.

That day the group chatted about Zhanzi again.

A said: "When will our station be revived?"

B said: "That depends on when the administrator comes back from Africa."

C said, "Then when will he come back from Africa?"

B said: "Wait for Africa's GDP to surpass that of the United States."

Everyone said: "How is that possible!"

B said: "Then we can only hope that Huawei's boss will show mercy and give administrators a raise and promotion."

Everyone was silent for a while, and said: "Let's discuss how to make Africa's GDP surpass that of the United States."

……

So, we recalled the dreamlike three years in the group, and the atmosphere became more and more sentimental.Speaking of emotion, I couldn't help but declare loudly: "If our station can be restored to its original state..."

Everyone asked: "How?"

"Let's hang Brother Chun's photo on the front page as a logo! Only Brother Xinchun can live forever!" I said.

Everyone collectively "...", and then said: "Let it continue to fall."

9
There is a famous love story on the Internet, that is, the fish said to the water, you will never see me cry, because I am in your heart... or something.From this I was inspired.

I said to Xiaolu: "I want to write a fairy tale about fish and water."

Xiaolu said, "What's the content?"

I said: "For example, fish and water are in love. They are in harmony with each other. You are in me and you are in me. You have made an appointment not to separate, but one day, the fish was captured by someone. In order to save the beloved fish, the water left the well without authorization." Or the river bed or something, flowing to the person who caught the fish. But the distance is too far, when the water finds the person, it is almost dry. After witnessing the fish being thrown into the oil pan, the sad water decides to be with the fish It died, so it also jumped into the pot, and then they were made into a bowl of fish soup. Before losing consciousness, the water said to the fish, we are finally together again."

After telling this soul-stirring love story, I asked Xiao Lu, "What do you think?"

Xiaolu said: "The end result is a love story that turns into a pile of excrement, what else can it be?"

... This girl is really childlike!

(End of this chapter)