Buddha crossing a predestined person: Dharma and wisdom in life

Chapter 34 Cultivate the Transcendence Mind with the Buddha’s Mind——Through insight and letting go, Nirvana and rebirth (4)
"Simple" is like water, simple on the surface, but rich in connotation. Everyone knows her, but not everyone knows her.

"Simple" is the most effective way to solve problems, especially complex ones.

The first lesson given by a well-known training institution to the white-collar workers of multinational companies is to draw a circle on the blackboard and ask: What is this?These business elites gave full play to their ingenuity and imagination, and discussed in a hurry.Some said it was the moon, some said it was a tire, some said it was a moon cake, some said... The answer given by the teacher: This is a circle, nothing more!

Many problems are like this circle, which look complicated, but are actually appearances or even illusions, but the essence is very simple.A mediocre person will not only fail to solve these problems, but will make the problem more complicated; when a capable person encounters these problems, he finally solves the problem through a series of methods and means, which is also a skill; a wise person encounters these problems The problem is to observe carefully and think calmly until the core essence of the problem is understood, and the tricks hit the nail on the head, point to the key point, and solve the core part, and other problems will be solved easily.Like this, it is great wisdom to use simple methods to solve complex problems!

"Simple" is an attitude towards life.With human society, there is life; with life, there is tea drinking.The history of tea can be traced back to the age of Shennong in ancient times. With the development of human history, thousands of years of culture have been accumulated.Combining tea drinking with religion, we have "a taste of Zen and tea" and "harmony between man and nature"; Lushui" "Yingyuan, I am not a tea person"; with Lu You "short paper slanted to make grass, clear window and fine milk play to share tea"; combined with self-cultivation, there is "straight heart is the Taoist field" and "normal heart is the way "...tea is so extensive and profound, complicated and complicated, but "you must know that the essence of tea is just to boil water and order tea."To understand the Tao from the simplest actions in life is the core essence of tea.

So is life.Human beings have developed from primitive society to modern society, and the way of life has changed from monotonous and boring to rich and colorful; the relationship in life has changed from sincere and simple to complex and difficult to distinguish;Modern urbanites are working hard for a better life in their hearts, at the expense of overdrawing their bodies and giving up their emotions.In fact, there is no need to suffer so hard, because the true meaning of life has not changed for thousands of years, that is to live simply and fully!If you live simply, you can let go of everything and don't have to worry about yourself; if you live simply, you can let nature take its course and do nothing; if you live simply, you can find that everything around you is so beautiful, but we don't feel it.

"Simple" is the realm of life.Some people divide the state of life into three, one is "seeing mountains as mountains, seeing water as water", the second is "seeing mountains as not mountains, seeing water as not water", and the third as "seeing mountains as mountains, seeing water as waters" ".The first state should be in the immature childhood, pure as a piece of white paper, people tell him that the mountain is the mountain, tell him that the water is the water, and never have any other distracting thoughts; the second state should be from stepping into From the beginning of the big dye vat of society, I have experienced many things, encountered setbacks, been deceived, and found that the world is far from being as real as imagined, sometimes black and white are reversed, right and wrong are confused, so I start to doubt, worry, anger, and even actively reverse black and white , Confused right and wrong, so I no longer believe what I see, pointing out that a deer can be a horse, and you can do anything with your hands. Mountains are no longer mountains, and water is no longer water.If a person only reaches this level, it's like getting into a dead end and can't get out, but he will suffer this life.Fortunately, some people questioned themselves and reflected on themselves in time, and finally came to their senses, returned to the basics, and discovered that a simple life is the real life. "Bodhi does not have a tree, nor a bright mirror, and there is nothing in the world, so where is the dust?" As long as you don't deliberately look at it complicatedly, think complicatedly, and do complicatedly, the mountains will still be those mountains, and the water will still be there.

Simple, in fact, it is not simple, it is worth us to calm down, taste and comprehend seriously and carefully!

Laughing all the time, where does the anger come from?

The complexity of life makes it impossible for people to see the full meaning of life in a limited time, but people's understanding and understanding of life are always limited to the enlightenment of events.For example: one of the examples is not being too serious about being a human being. This is the reason why some people live chicly while others live tiredly.If you take it too seriously, you become conservative and stubborn, and you can't get rid of it.

For example, there are some single men and women (most of them are women) who are in good condition in all aspects and have achieved success in work and career, but their personal problems can't be solved all the time.The reason is that most of the pre-set requirements when looking for a partner are too rigid.If you don’t want to introduce, you need to know someone in your own life; asking the other party’s age, appearance, working conditions, financial income, etc. is too rigid.When we can't handle our personal life in a more flexible way, the conditions we set limit ourselves to death.Without room for maneuver, there are naturally fewer choices.

There are also some people who are very hardworking and capable, take care of their homes in a decent way, and like to contact various social and social relationships with a fast pace.However, such people may ignore the specific reasons, circumstances, ideas and reasons of others, and they may not be able to cooperate with others.At this time, the handling of the relationship needs to be flexible and not too rigid.Respect the different opinions of others, and don't care about the opposing attitude of others.

There are deeper issues here.

People who live too seriously, are too stubborn, do things too rigidly, and talk too harshly, according to years of observation, are actually people who have a sense of anxiety and lack of security.At the same time, this is also a manifestation of lack of self-confidence.This kind of people will always make a mess of interpersonal relationships in the end. If they are unhappy, the people around them will also be unhappy and resentful.

Let me give some more examples: Usually in a husband-wife relationship, one party thinks he is right and the other party is wrong, so he forces the other person to admit his mistake, and talks about the other party's mistakes as a warning.In such a situation, it is almost certain that the relationship will go from bad to worse.

Therefore, people should not go to the dark on one road, and see to the end on the other.There is no river in the world that cannot be crossed, and there is no problem that cannot be solved. The key is to see how you look at it.You don't necessarily have the truth and correctness. When others hold different opinions, they may be right, or have some reasons.

Don't be too serious about being a person. It doesn't mean taking an irresponsible attitude towards work, emotions, and others, but not taking an overly critical attitude towards personnel.This point is pointed out because there are too many people who are critical of others today, but not enough people who can treat people and things with a more tolerant attitude.

At all times and in all over the world, those who can achieve great things have an excellent character, that is, they can tolerate what others cannot tolerate, endure what others cannot tolerate, are good at seeking common ground while reserving minor differences, and unite the majority of people.They are very broad-minded, open-minded without sticking to small details, think big but not blind, never haggle over every detail, and get entangled in non-principle trivial matters, so they can achieve great things, establish great achievements, and make themselves extraordinary great men.

A colleague always complained that the clerk in the supermarket near their home had a bad attitude, as if someone owed her millions. Later, the wife of the colleague inquired about the background of the clerk: the husband had an affair and divorced, the old mother was paralyzed in bed, and went to elementary school His daughter suffers from asthma, and her monthly salary is only a few hundred yuan, and she lives in a room with a size of four to five pings.No wonder she frowns all day long.From then on, this colleague never cared about her attitude anymore, and even wanted to help her and do what he could for her.

It is really not worth getting angry when something goes wrong in a public place.There must be a reason for someone who has never met you to offend you. I don’t know what kind of troubles made him feel bad and lose control of his behavior that day. It happened that you caught up with him. As long as it doesn’t insult your personality, we should be lenient. Don't take it seriously, or use softness to overcome rigidity, and understand righteousness.In short, you can't compete with this person who has no grudges or enmities with you.If you really care about it, get angry, go to knife to knife, gun to gun, and if there are any consequences, then it will be unbearable.It's really not a smart thing to do with strangers you meet by chance.If the other party has no level of knowledge, it is tantamount to lowering oneself to the other party's level, which is very embarrassing.In addition, the other party’s offense is to a certain extent venting and transferring pain. Although we have no obligation to share his pain, we did help him objectively and did a good deed invisibly.If you think about it this way, you will let him go and let yourself go.

It is difficult for an honest official to decide on housework, let alone haggling at home, otherwise you will be stupid.There are no major issues of right and wrong between wives and children.We are all a family, so what's the point of looking at things from the perspective of struggle and distinguishing right from wrong?People play a variety of established roles in companies and in society, such as dedicated national civil servants, shrewd and decent businessmen, as well as workers and employees. The costumes of the role you play, that is, the rules and various requirements and constraints imposed on this role by society, restore your original appearance and allow you to enjoy family happiness as much as possible.If you are as serious at home as you are in society, everything must be done according to the rules, and every time you say a word or do something, you have to consider right and wrong, worry about the impact and consequences, and measure again and again, that is not only ridiculous, but also too tiring .You must be clear-headed. At home, you are the husband and the wife.Therefore, we should adopt a policy of "appeasement" when dealing with family trivial matters, focusing on appeasement, making big things small and small things small, making peace with each other, and being a peacemaker who always laughs.

Specifically, a husband should be lenient, and turn a blind eye to money and material things. The more sloppy, the more popular it is; That can show the magnanimity of a man.The wife should also adopt a tolerant attitude towards her husband's laziness and other unbearable problems. She should not chatter endlessly, dislike him for one thing or another, and don't give him embarrassment occasionally when the husband comes back late or a lady calls. Look, ask endlessly.The tighter the watch, the stronger the rebellious psychology.Simply relax, let him go, and see how capable he is, and the emotional world outside will teach him a lesson. As long as you are a confident, charismatic, and charming woman, no matter how hard your husband is, he will never be with you. You cut your heart.I'm afraid that if you are too "serious" to your husband, making him feel that he is living in shackles and getting bored with you, then there will be a real crisis.Home is a sheltered haven, and it should be warm and harmonious. Don't turn it into a battlefield full of gunpowder. The key is how you handle it.

People who are too serious may tremble when they speak, especially in front of leaders and powerful people. If this goes on for a long time, the patience of the leaders may be exhausted, and it may not necessarily lose their jobs in the end.If in a job interview, this situation can lead to a negative ending.Because this kind of person pays too much attention to the correctness of each sentence, but ignores the coherence and logic of the answer, which makes people feel that the words are not expressive.During the interview, you should try to show your own advantages in general, and don't care about whether individual words express the meaning, so the effect may be better.

People who treat people too seriously often have a black and white, right or wrong outlook on life, and think they are principled.It is difficult for such a person to have a more integrated view, the gray areas.In fact, few things in the world are absolutely black and white, absolute right and wrong.In most cases, it is in the middle of the two, that is, in the gray area.

According to modern psychological research, people who can accept and use gray areas are actually more mature people.When we think that we are absolutely right and others are absolutely wrong, we have come to the opposite side of things and are in the company of wrong.Throughout today's family and marriage relations, interpersonal relations, group and race relations, and state relations, there are many more profound contradictions and conflicts brought about by this absolute negation of others.

For example, many people who have violent conflicts or divorces in their marriages come for psychological counseling. Most of them harbor resentment towards their spouses, and some say it is useless.However, those who came for psychological counseling because of widowhood mostly described the other party as a near-perfect person, saying that the relationship between husband and wife was so good.Although I can understand this, I often think: the person who broke up, the other party may not be as bad as the description; and the person who died may not be as perfect as the memory.Divorce and death seem to be like filters in memory. Divorce filters out the other person's strengths; death makes people forget the other person's shortcomings.And these situations do not coincide with the real reality.

You read reviews online.Some people, who seem to be serious, criticize and criticize a typo or a sentence used by others, pursue it fiercely, and be vitriolic, as if the truth of the whole world is on their side, while fundamentally ignoring the full text of the article and the author's intent.It's also one of those extreme rigidities.This kind of person, under his pious appearance, actually has a distorted mentality and strong inferiority complex, as well as intolerance and disrespect for others.

In addition, it has been observed that when we blame others, we may be right at that time and place, but in another time and place, we would do the same thing and make the same mistake ourselves.That being the case, why should we pursue it so seriously, why can't we be more tolerant to others?

Don't take life too seriously. It's not to encourage a non-serious attitude, but to point out that being a person is too rigid, not flexible, intolerant, too rigid about small details, not giving people, and not considering issues from the perspective of others, which can only lead to interpersonal relationships. Being nervous makes one's vision extremely narrow, one's mentality becomes low and negative, and makes people around him unhappy.

(End of this chapter)