Buddha crossing a predestined person: Dharma and wisdom in life

Chapter 59 Cultivate self-examination with the Buddha's heart——Buddha does not cross me, I cross by myself (1)
Self-realization and self-enlightenment, Buddha-nature emerges from itself

People are influenced by external objects, follow the environment of external objects, and only physically pursue the metaphysical Dao body, which will never be found.The study of metaphysics, the so-called Taoism, or seeking verification, is not like natural science, which seeks verification from external objects, but must turn around and pursue oneself inwardly.What is the Dao that we want to know, we must turn around and know for ourselves in order to find this thing.That's why it is said, "You don't see it from the other side, you know it from the self-knowledge", you can't find it from the outside, you have to find it from your heart to know it.

There is a friend who has an extraordinary bearing but still has a childlike innocence. Under the indifferent appearance is a hot heart!Everyone around him, there is no one who doesn't like him!Such an idealist with a passion for life!Recently, he said: "It's not because of his aloofness, nor is it because of his indifference. He gradually doesn't want to go out to communicate with people, and he also finds that he has fewer and fewer friends! I don't feel happy to share!"

Analyzing the reason is that he has never given up on his beautiful ideals and has enthusiasm, but in reality there are too many intrigues, work pressure, responsibility and responsibility, when these things cannot be carried out harmoniously like a symphony!People will feel very tired.

In fact, many people have this tired state of mind, so what should I do?The master told us a way of liberation - seeking inwardly.

Maybe you grew up feeling different from other people, convinced that you would be an exceptional person.But in a blink of an eye, you are already in your 30s. Looking around, you are still an ordinary person, not fundamentally different from others, but at this moment, people who are more than ordinary people appear in batches... You finally realize that you are not Not outstanding, and you will never be outstanding in the future, disappearing among all living beings, this is your inescapable fate.Because of this, you yourself are distressed, hesitant, even disheartened, and blame others.

The greatest pain a person suffers from is disappointment with himself, loss of motivation and passion in life, and intuition that his life is meaningless.

Can you realize that the quality of a person's life does not lie in what he invents, creates, or achieves that attract the attention of the world, but in whether he has a perfect and independent personality pursuit.If he can pursue a perfect personality above all else, then he must be different, and his life must be outstanding.

Saying this, it seems that "excellent" has been downgraded by a notch, but it is not.Nowadays, people's spiritual life is shrinking day by day, and the human soul is sinking in material desire and consumption. It is very difficult for a person to establish his own independent character without being influenced by the confused common people and common things. It's not easy.Because of the difficulty, his behavior in the process of pursuing a perfect personality must be noble and extraordinary.Isn't a noble and otherworldly person outstanding?

If you can be enlightened like this, then compared with the past, your current state of mind will be peaceful, detached, and fulfilled.You will find that successes, setbacks, uneasiness outside of yourself, all troubles, honors and disgraces are insignificant in front of the "excellence" you pursue, and you put your own spiritual sublimation and soul purification above everything else.You will be calm and focused, and do one thing seriously according to your own wishes.

This is the truth that the taste in the world is Qinghuan—seeking inwardly.

It is normal to encounter difficulties and problems in life, work and career.The really helpful solution is: look inward (inner) instead of outward (outer).

By studying the heart, finding the root of the problem, and repairing these roots, many problems will be solved naturally, and the solution will be very thorough.

However, it is difficult to truly grasp the core and cause of the problem by looking for reasons and answers from the outside (people, things, things).It's hard to solve problems well, and probably not at all.

According to Buddhism, karma is retribution, and the cycle is not good.All kinds of causes and effects, never escaped.The problem is the result, and the "greed, anger, ignorance, arrogance, and attachment" in one's heart are the cause.Once you have solved your own heart, you will naturally solve the problem itself.

Seeking inward is pointing at the root; seeking outward is putting the cart before the horse.

The outward life is a kind of painted life.The inward life is a life of washing.Those who are outward must build on the outside, while those who are inward must dismantle the outside, abandon and get rid of the outside.The outer is abandoned, freed, and then you can go inward.In other words, if you go inward, you will inevitably abandon and get rid of what is outside.

An introverted life is a carefree life, and the final state becomes a great escape.Buddhists call this Nirvana.What is the state of Nirvana?It's hard to describe.Roughly speaking, when one reaches the state of Nirvana in one's life, one will no longer see all external existence.

Zhang Ailing, a woman from the Republic of China, her life is as pale as autumn chrysanthemums!Canran articles are precious spiritual food for our descendants!Her attitude towards life has taught me to live an inward-looking life!

Su Shi wrote a poem: "The drizzle and the slanting wind make the slight cold, the light smoke and the willows are beautiful on the clear beach, and the Qingluo gradually becomes long when entering the Huaihe River. Snow foam milk flowers float in the afternoon cup, and Polygonum velvet and Artemisia bamboo shoots try the spring plate. The taste in the world is pure joy." It is a portrayal of Zhang Ailing's article.

In the vast world, there are no surprises, and external pursuits are bounded on the macroscopic level, but infinite on the microscopic level.Seeking outside is the endlessness of the heart, and this unity of opposites between bounded and infinite is the "curse" of human beings.The taste in the world is Qinghuan—seek inwardly!
"I often feel that mediocre life doesn't seem to lack anything, what it lacks is vastness. People have reached many things, but they can't reach themselves quietly in a vastness. When you have joy, you should enjoy it; when you encounter confusion , then face it with a positive attitude and turn it into a driving force for growth. If this is the case, confusion and joy will be intertwined into a plate of fresh human delicacy, which makes people happy and happy to enjoy."

"Self-lightness" is a cocoon that binds itself

Each of us has an inferiority complex, any hero has an inferiority complex, can not stand the stimulation of the environment, the blow of the environment, the inferiority complex naturally arises.Therefore, often a very arrogant person is because he has too much inferiority complex.If I have too much inferiority complex, I will naturally be arrogant, because that arrogance is a defense against inferiority complex. I am afraid that others will look down on me, so I have to put on that air.If you don't have inferiority complex, it's natural, you look up to me, I'm still me, look down on me, I'm still me, I'm me, I'm just like that.Whether you look up to me or look down on me, he said that everything is natural, that's the reason.

After graduating from university, Xiao Min worked in a company. Due to his lack of work experience and because he had done too little in the past, Xiao Min always made mistakes in his work.For this reason, she is always criticized by leaders and colleagues.Gradually, Xiao Min was always cautious in the work unit, for fear of making a mistake and being rejected by others.She is particularly sensitive to criticism. As long as others say something about her, even if she has a slightly different opinion on her dress, she will either refute it fiercely, or hang on her face with extremely depressed emotions, which makes people feel strong resistance. .

From a psychological point of view, the above performance is a typical inferiority complex.People with low self-esteem have such fragile self-esteem that they react with excessive worry to premonitions that threaten their self-esteem.Such people, in their work and life, do not focus on how to complete tasks or communicate with others like ordinary people. Instead, they are repeatedly worried that they will not make any mistakes, afraid of being criticized by others, and afraid of being seen. joke.Therefore, when they are criticized and criticized, it is easy to cause their pain and frustration, and their excessive resistance will be enhanced.This kind of psychological resistance makes them trapped in an emotional state, unable to carry out normal learning and reflection, and will completely lose the ability of the individual to adapt to the situation, resulting in blocked reactions and constant mistakes, which in turn arouse "saving face" They even make a strong attempt to escape from situations that may make them go wrong and lose face, and try not to participate in any group activities.In this way, if they do not study or exercise, their ability to adapt to the environment will be lower, their self-esteem will be more fragile, and they will be more afraid of negative criticism.

"Every one of us has a sense of inferiority. Any hero has a sense of inferiority. If he can't stand the stimulation and blow of the environment, he will naturally have a sense of inferiority." The words of the master tell us that you don't have inferiority complex, heroes also have it. Therefore, it is not terrible to have inferiority complex, the key is to overcome inferiority complex.To overcome inferiority complex, you must first overcome yourself!

Although Monica Dickens had published works in her twenties, she was clumsy and often felt inferior.She's a bit fat, but not bloated, and she thinks clothes always look better on other people.She would dress up for hours before going to a banquet, but once she walked into the banquet hall, she would feel a mess, and always feel that everyone was judging her and making fun of her inwardly.

One night, Monica was nervously going to a party of a stranger and met another young lady outside the door.

"Are you going in too?"

"Probably," the lady grimaced, "I've been wandering around trying to muster up the courage to go in, but I'm scared. I'm always like that."

Why?Monica looked at her on the lighted doorstep and thought she was beautiful, much better than herself. "I'm also very scared." Monica said frankly, and they all laughed, and they were no longer so nervous.Together, they walked towards the noisy and unpredictable place ahead.Monica's protective psychology emerges spontaneously.

"Are you all right?" she asked quietly.For the first time in her life, her heart was not on herself, but on another person.It helped herself, they started talking to other people, and Monica began to feel like a part of the group, not an outsider.

As she put on her coat and headed home, Monica and her new friend talked about how they were feeling.

"how do you feel?"

"I feel better than before," Monica said.

"Me too, because we're not alone."

Monica thought: This sentence is really true!I used to feel isolated and thought everyone in the world was confident, but now I have met someone who has the same low self-esteem as me, so far, I have been so consumed by insecurity that I would not think about anything else, and now I have Another revelation, will there be many people who seem to be talking and laughing, but are actually uneasy?

One of the editors at a local paper Monica frequented seemed so rude to her that Monica felt that his eyes never met hers.She always felt that he didn't like her. Now, Monica wondered, could it be that he was afraid that she didn't like him?
When I went to the newspaper office the next day, Monica took a deep breath and said to the editor, "Hi, Mr. Anderson, nice to meet you!"

Monica looked up with a smile.Before, she used to throw the manuscript on his desk and whisper, "I don't think you will like it." This time Monica changed her words: "I really hope you like this manuscript, everyone wrote it well. In bad times, your work must be very difficult."

"It's really hard." The editor sighed.Monica didn't leave in a hurry as usual, she sat down.They looked at each other: Monica saw that he was not an aggressive features editor, but a half-bald, unremarkable man with a large head and narrow shoulders, with a picture of his wife and children on his desk.Monica asked about them, and the editor smiled, softening his stern, slightly sad mouth.Monica felt that they were both at ease.

Later, Monica's writing career was interrupted by the war.She went to nurse training, and again she was intimidated by the feeling that everyone in the hospital was competent except herself. She felt that she was clumsy and slow to learn, and she looked useless even in uniform, which attracted a lot of attention. Patients complain. "How did she come here?" Monica guessed they would think.

Busy work and fatigue prevented Monica from thinking wildly and gaining weight.She began to feel the joy of being one with everyone, that she was part of the team and that they needed her.She saw others suffer and suffer, and felt that their lives were more important than her own.

"You're not doing badly," the matron said to Monica one day.Monica was delighted, she was praising me!They think everything is fine with me.Monica suddenly realized that there was no time to worry about whether she was competent for the job in the past few weeks.

Now, years later, Monica still sometimes feels intimidated by successful people or rude shop assistants, and is still afraid of being in situations where she doesn't seem to belong.At times like this, she told herself: Don't think about yourself, go and talk to that nervous woman standing alone in the street.

People's inferiority complex comes from a kind of negative self-suggestion in psychology, that is, "I can't do it".As the philosopher Spinoza said: "To look down on yourself because of pain is inferiority." This is what we usually say, we look down on ourselves.The best way to get rid of the inner inferiority complex is to forget yourself.

What is most lacking for anyone with low self-esteem is an inner sense of self-worth.Inferiority is the inner experience of individuals who feel that their self-worth is belittled or denied.This kind of belittling or negation may come from the parties themselves, or from the evaluation of the outside world, but more often it is a combination of both.Many people always mistakenly think that self-esteem should be improved in order to overcome inferiority complex, but in fact, the antonym of inferiority complex is not self-esteem but self-confidence. People with low self-esteem often have self-esteem needs several times higher than ordinary people, but their self-esteem lacks a stable core And a solid case, so a little thing can do a lot of damage.If the low self-esteem person is afraid to interact with women or is afraid of socializing, in this case, you are unlikely to let him achieve the purpose of strengthening his self-esteem by actively contacting the opposite sex, boldly interacting with celebrities, etc. that pose a serious threat to his self-esteem .

It can be seen that what is needed for low self-esteem is to adjust the perspective of self-awareness, and what is more needed is to establish a unique life advantage through continuous self-development.Only when a kind of inner self-confidence is established on the basis of strong life strength, people with low self-esteem will not easily belittle and deny themselves due to some setbacks and insults, and will not take some questions such as "dare to talk to the opposite sex" and so on. Things to test yourself over and over again.

If a certain aspect of a person is recognized by the society and people, then other aspects will follow suit. The key is to find such a "shining point" according to one's personality, interests, abilities, and conditions.

First, we must correctly evaluate ourselves.People are valuable to have self-knowledge.The so-called "self-knowledge" is not only manifested in being able to see one's own shortcomings as they really are, but also being able to see one's own strengths appropriately. You must not lose sight of your human qualities and shortcomings because of some of your own inferiority. This is the correct comparison with people.Marx once said that the reason why a great man is unattainable is because you are on your knees.

Second, express yourself correctly.Psychologists suggest: People with inferiority complex may wish to do more things within their capabilities and have a greater grasp. Even if these things are "small", don't give up the chance to succeed.Any success can enhance one's self-confidence, and any big success is accumulated in small successes.In other words, by expressing yourself in small successes, building self-confidence, and gradually overcoming inferiority complex.

Third, try to compensate yourself properly.Blind people are especially smart, and blind people are especially bright. This is physiological compensation, and human psychology also has the ability to compensate.In order to overcome the inferiority complex, two positive compensations can be used: one is hard work to make up for one's weaknesses, knowing that one's own shortcomings in some aspects, not carrying the burden of thinking, and overcoming these defects with the greatest determination and tenacious perseverance, this is positive. effective compensation.Hua Luogeng said: "Diligence can make up for one's weakness is a good lesson, every hard work is worth every bit of talent."Second, make full use of strengths and avoid weaknesses, "the east corner of the lost, the mulberry elm harvested".When we read the biographies of Darwin, Keats, Gend, Byron, Bacon, and Aristotle, it is not difficult to understand that their excellent qualities and brilliant achievements in their lives, in a sense, all contribute to success.Human defects are not absolutely unchangeable, the key is whether you are willing to change, as long as you make up your mind, pay attention to scientific methods, and make the best use of the situation, you will get rid of inferiority complex and gradually mature.

It is difficult to reach the sky in one step, and it is difficult to become a Buddha in one day
Zixia was a student of Confucius.One year, Zixia was sent to Jufu (now in Ju County, Shandong Province) as a magistrate.Before leaving, he went to visit his teacher and asked Confucius for advice: "Excuse me, how can I manage a place well?"

Confucius said enthusiastically to Zixia: "Governing a locality is a very complicated matter. However, as long as you grasp the fundamentals, it will be very simple."

After Confucius explained to Zixia some things that should be paid attention to, he repeatedly asked: "Don't have haste, don't see small gains. If you have haste, you will not achieve success; if you see small gains, you will fail to achieve great things."

The meaning of this passage is: Don't simply pursue speed when doing things, and don't be greedy for small profits.If you simply pursue speed without paying attention to effects, you will fail to achieve your goals; if you only care about short-term benefits without paying attention to long-term benefits, you will not be able to accomplish any major things.Zixia said that he must follow the teacher's teachings, so he bid farewell to Confucius and took office.

Later, "Haste makes waste" was handed down as a proverb, and it was often used by people to explain that being too hasty and haste is counterproductive and cannot achieve the goal.

(End of this chapter)