The most interesting folklore

Chapter 13 The most interesting festive culture (1)
1. The "six rituals" in ancient marriages are not six gifts
During the Zhou Dynasty, wedding etiquette and customs became more and more complicated, and they had to go through six procedures, called "six rituals". "Rites?Shihun Li" records that the "six rituals" are Nacai, Asking Names, Naji, Nazheng, Asking for a Date, and Greeting.Most of the time in ancient China, not only the marriages of scholar-bureaucrats were governed by the Six Rites, but even the marriages of ordinary people were also carried out in accordance with the Six Rites.The six rituals mainly include the following six aspects.

Nacai is also called marriage proposal, proposal of marriage, and talk of marriage.Generally, the man sends a matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's family first, and after the woman agrees, the man then asks someone to offer the ceremony of selection.In ancient Nacai, geese and geese were usually used as gifts.

Asking the name is also called asking for the year, asking for the horoscope, and auspiciousness.After the woman agrees to the marriage, the man invites a matchmaker to the woman's home to ask about the girl's name and birth date, and the woman sends a Geng post to the man for the purpose of marriage.If the marriage is unlucky, the marriage will be stopped.

Najib, also known as Xiaoding and Guoding, is the initial agreement of marriage.After the man asks his name, the marriage is auspicious, and he prepares a gift to inform the woman of his decision to enter into a marriage.In ancient Najib times, the man still had to present geese as a gift, while the woman held a banquet to show goodwill.

Nazheng, also known as Nabi, Nacheng, Dading, Xingpin, Wanpin, etc., is given by the man's family as a dowry gift to the woman's family, which is equivalent to the current engagement.

Asking for a date, also known as sending the sun, sending the day, or begging for the day, is a ceremony to determine the date of marriage.

Qinying, also called Yingqin, the groom goes to the bride's house to marry the bride, commonly known as "marriage".This is the most solemn gift in marriage.

In the Southern Song Dynasty, Zhu Xi combined the six rituals into the three rituals of nacai, nazheng and personal greeting, which were mostly adopted by common people.In modern society, many places still retain the legacy of traditional weddings.Mu Shayan: Yao Xing deletes Su Hong... In ancient times, single men and women rarely had the opportunity to get close, especially women, who lived deep in the boudoir.After the matchmaker agrees, the man usually proposes to take a look. This kind of activity of visiting the woman's home for the first time under the leadership of the matchmaker is called a blind date, commonly known as watching relatives.

The day of the blind date is proposed by the man, and the matchmaker decides the time and informs both men and women. Both parties should be prepared.The man needs to bring some gifts, not too much, but to show his heart, and it would be even better if he could impress the other party's parents.As the protagonists, both men and women should try their best to dress up decently and beautifully, so as to gain the love of the other party.

If the woman's parents want to entertain the man, it means that the man has obtained the consent of the woman's family.If the meal is not prepared for a long time and the man is allowed to leave the house, it means that the marriage is about to fall through.The woman may also "visit" the man's house, which is called "watching" in some places.If the woman's parents are unwilling to accept the entertainment and insist on leaving, it means that the marriage is difficult to close.At this time, of course, the man cannot force him to stay.After inspecting the man's family situation, the woman's parents readily accept the invitation, or drink up the fragrant tea offered, and of course everyone will be happy in the end.

2. Is there any wedding held in the dark?
Weddings in the Zhou Dynasty were held in the dark night.The "Zhou Li" annotated by Zheng Xuan pointed out: "In ancient times, the ceremony of marrying a wife lasted at dusk." According to the historical material "Baihutong", "the one who gets married is said to salute at dusk, so it is called marriage."In other words, holding a wedding at night is a long-standing wedding custom of the Chinese nation.

"Rituals" also says: "The master Juebian wears black clothes. The follower, Bi Xuanduan, takes a black car. The second car rides, and leads with a candle."

This passage explains: the groom wears a black dress to greet the bride at the bride’s house at night, and the people who greet and see off both sides also wear black clothes, even the car is black, everything should match the evening.Get married in the dark night, so ask someone to walk in front with a candle to illuminate the way.

So, when did you start to get married during the day?

"Youyang Miscellaneous Zu" said: "In the wedding, you must use the dusk, because the yang goes and the yin comes. Today, the ceremony is at dawn." It can be seen that the wedding in the dark night has been changed to welcome the bride in the daytime in the Tang Dynasty.

3. Marriage is a happy event, so why cry?

Marriage is originally a joyous event, but in many parts of our country, the custom of crying marriage is still prevailing.How did the custom of crying marriage come about?It is generally believed that crying marriage originated from robbery.

Marriage by robbery, also known as marriage by robbery, is a barbaric form of forced marriage in which women were captured by means of war during the exogamous period of ancient clans and tribes.It is conceivable that facing the sudden looting, the weak woman could only wash her face with tears.Since then, crying has been closely tied to marriage, so that feudal society plundered marriage no longer exists, and women still cry when they are "marrying in the open".When a woman marries into her husband's family, the woman has to bear another heavy spiritual burden, that is, the feeling of parting from life to death.I have to leave my parents, say goodbye to my childhood sweethearts, brothers and sisters, and feel attached to them.Sad about the parting of relatives, and about the future, even those who are hard-hearted can't help crying aloud.

4. Why is the new house called the bridal chamber?
After the wedding ceremony is completed, it is the wedding night in the bridal chamber.People usually refer to the newly married house as the "bridal chamber". Why is this?
Legend has it that after Qin Shihuang unified the six kingdoms, he built a large-scale Afang Palace and chose beautiful women from all over the world to accompany him.Among the beauties, there is a very handsome, smart and brave girl who was born in a family of officials. Because she is the third, she is called the third girl.The three girls escaped from the palace and went straight to Huashan because they were unwilling to live the dark life of being enslaved and ravaged.

At that time, Qin Shihuang ordered the burning of books of various schools of thought and the destruction of scholars.A scholar named Shen Bo also escaped to Mount Hua.

The third girl and Shen Bo lived in deep mountains and old forests and suffered a lot.One day, the two met in the depths of the dense forest, each poured out their misfortunes, fell in love, and became a couple in need.Under a large bluestone, they found a small cave that could only accommodate two people, and they took this cave as their married house.They live in this bridal chamber, although life is very difficult, but they feel very sweet.Soon, the third girl gave birth to a son named Chen Xiang.The three girls who fight for freedom without fear of violence are the Three Virgins in mythology.

Later, out of reverence and nostalgia for them, people called the bridal chamber the bridal chamber.

6. When did the custom of handing over glasses of wine begin?

The custom of handing over glasses of wine began in the Zhou Dynasty. "notes?"Hun Yi" records: The husband and wife will eat together in prison, and hold hands together.He is actually a gourd that is cut into two scoops called "卺".When a wedding ceremony is held, the bride and groom each hold one side and rinse with wine, which is called "Hehe".That's why people use Hebei as a synonym for marriage.This custom evolved to eat "Jiaobeijiu" later.

6. Does the top refer to dyeing the hair?

The top was originally a coming-of-age ceremony for Chinese women.According to records, when a girl is 15 years old, she has to perform the Ji ceremony, that is, change her hair style when she was young, tie her hair into a bun, wrap it with a black cloth, and then insert the bun with a hairpin, which means that the woman is an adult and can be allowed to marry. marry.

The top was originally a coming-of-age ceremony for women, but it gradually became a part of the wedding ceremony.In the area of ​​Gaoyou, Jiangsu, the bride goes to the head on the eve of her wedding.At that time, the bride will take a bath and change clothes, light a flower candle, face the dressing table, and drink two sips of "shut-up tea" first, implying that the girl should abide by women's morals and not talk too much if she wants to become a wife from now on.Then, please ask two blessed women with both children and living husbands to do her hair: first untie the braids, comb them together with the bangs in front of the forehead to form a bun on the back of the head, and then use two double-layered red hair. The gauze belt should be tightly wrapped 12 times from the forehead to the back of the head, commonly known as "December Taiping".According to the custom, even if the head is strangled, one cannot cry out, implying that the bride must learn to be patient.In Tianjin, the ceremony is held after the arrival of the wedding sedan chair.The hair style is to put a lock of hair horizontally on the head and tie it with a red velvet rope.Wear a hairpin and a crown on the pan head.

When going up, the bride should hold a piece of candy in her mouth and step on two "happy boats" (two model boats).The name of Xichuan is "Kirin Songzi" and "Gourd for All Generations". Together with the crown on the head, it means "handed down from generation to generation".When going up, the two boys called "rooster mats" who came with the wedding sedan chair will stand under the window outside the bride's house. The boy walked back and forth around it.

7. What is face-opening? Is it a kind of makeup technique?

Opening the face is also called "opening the face", "twisting the face", "twisting the face", "choosing the face", etc. It is a ritual modification of the face of a newlywed woman.The specific method of opening the face is similar in different places: the face-opening person first evenly pours the powder on the bride's face, then uses the colored silk thread to push the flowers, holds the two ends of the thread with both hands, and then bites the middle of the thread with his teeth. Coordinate and strengthen everywhere, one fall, one loosen and one tighten, use the twine of the thread to pull out the hair on the bride's face, mainly the forehead and temples, and trim the eyebrows.This "opening" removes a layer of hair on the face, twists the messy hair at the temples, and makes the eyebrows curved and slender, so that the bride's entire face looks clear and sunny.

In Gaoyou, Jiangsu, face-opening is performed on the morning of the second day after the wedding.At that time, the husband's family will specially invite a "replacement mother" to open up the bride's face.The new mother should roll two boiled eggs on the bride's face a few times, then wipe the hair on the forehead with red gauze, and apply a thick layer of face powder on the face. Use double strands of cotton thread to wring out the hair on the bride's face and trim her eyebrows.

8. Is the groom the first name for a newly married man?
The bride and groom are now used by us to call the newlyweds, but the word "groom" did not mean this at first, but refers to the new scholar.

The word "Lang" was used in many ways in ancient times, not only referring to young men, but also a respectful title for men.Yunzi Yege of the Ancient Yuefu said: "The world takes people's wishes, so I make Nong see Lang." It shows that "Lang" is also an official title in ancient times.

"Lang" was a general term for official rank in the Tang Dynasty, and people below Liujing were called "so-and-so Lang"; and because those who entered the Jinshi mid-term examination had the qualifications to be officials, they all belonged to the scope of "Lang" in terms of official rank. , so people call Xinke Jinshi "groom officer".

Marriage was also a major event in life in ancient times. It was very honorable for a man to marry a wife, comparable to being a Jinshi, and it was also known as "Xiao Dengke".

9. What is the fate of the parents and the luck of the matchmaker?
"Parents' order, matchmaker's words" is a procedure of marriage etiquette in the Spring and Autumn Period of the Western Zhou Dynasty.Under monogamy, marriage is for the purpose of starting a family. Marrying a wife involves the unity and consolidation of the family and the interests of each family member. Therefore, parents should grasp the overall situation and play a decisive role in the marriage of their children. Children make decisions about marriage based on their feelings.This is "the order of the parents".

Ancient China was a society where men were superior to women, and it was said that it was "the order of the parents", mainly the order of the father.Engagement is generally decided by the father, the marriage contract is generally signed by the father, and the wedding ceremony is generally presided over by the father.Of course, the mother also has the right to speak.

A matchmaker is a collusion; a concubine is a discretion.A matchmaker is to consider the situation and conspire to match the two surnames so that they complement each other.The matchmaker mainly plays an intermediary role, so there are still words such as "medium" and "medium language" in modern times.Because the ancient people lived in a small circle, had little contact with each other, and were not familiar with each other's situation, they needed a matchmaker to introduce, match, and contact them. Therefore, there is a proverb that goes: "There is no cloud in the sky, it does not rain, and there is no matchmaker on the ground."

Although the words of the matchmaker are indispensable, the status of the matchmaker was not high in ancient times. The reason may be that the matchmaker often lied on both ends in order to match the two surnames.

10. Why can we get married only after the ceremony

In the folk, a man and a woman can perform certain marriage procedures after a blind date. This process is called "passing the ceremony".It is roughly equivalent to the two ceremonies of asking for names and Najib in the ancient customs of the "six rites" of traditional marriage, and the so-called "Xiaoding" or Najib ceremony in the middle of these two rites is omitted.

When celebrating the ceremony, the matchmaker should send the man's birthday horoscope to the woman, and the woman's birthday horoscope to the man.At this time, most superstitious parents will ask a fortune teller to calculate whether the horoscopes of a man and a woman are compatible or not.If you agree, the marriage will continue, if you disagree, stop there, and the marriage will not be discussed.After exchanging posts, the matchmaker will choose a good day to take the man to "give a ceremony" to get engaged. "Passing the gift" is a big event in a wedding, and the initiative of the marriage should send a generous gift to the other party.

The customs are different in different places, and the gifts are also different.Some places require gifts to include at least one pork knuckle, two bottles of wine, one chicken and one duck, one set of clothing for each other's parents, one pair of shoes and socks, one bag, and some things for the girl.How much money to seal in the envelope and what engagement items to give to the girl are generally negotiated in advance by the matchmaker and the two parties separately, and cannot be counted as much as the man gives.After the "ceremony" engagement, both men and women can agree on the date of marriage.

12. What is a gift in a wedding?
After the engagement, if both the man and the woman have reached the local marriageable age, the man's parents will hold a banquet and invite the woman's parents and matchmaker to choose a wedding day together, usually in advance.Because folks believe that the time of marriage is related to the life of both men and women, they are very cautious. "Choosing a date", also known as "seeing the date", "sending good luck", "sending a marriage card", etc., is the ancient "asking for a date". The "request date" was originally just the date selected by the man for the wedding and asked the woman to agree.In some areas, the "period" is divided into three steps: "good", "optimistic" and "delivery". "Be good" is to choose an auspicious day before marriage, such as February [-], April [-], June [-] and other double-moon days, and the matchmaker will go to the woman's home to ask for the woman's zodiac sign and horoscope.The bride's family wrote "Kun's life x phase x month x day x time" on a red note, and handed it over to the matchmaker to take it back to the man's home.According to the horoscope of the woman's birthday, the man's family asks someone to choose the auspicious month and day for marriage, which is called "optimistic". "Looking good" is mainly to find out the location of the marriage month, auspicious days and good days, and the "God of Joy".Generally, two auspicious days and good days are selected, one in the first half of the month and one in the second half of the month, which will be determined after the woman's family chooses, in order to avoid the woman's menstrual period.After choosing an auspicious date, write a marriage letter and send it to the bride's family, which is "send well".The content and format of the marriage certificate are as follows:
I would like to follow Kun's order and choose the marriage period:
The marriage of Li Yue is hereby chosen on x month x day, x year, all auspicious.

Marry and send off male and female guests, avoid sex, good luck.

Get on and off the sedan chair, face x to welcome the "God of Joy", good luck.

Anlu sits in a tent, it is advisable to use x house x room.

Wearing the crown facing x to welcome the "God of Honor", good luck.Sitting in the tent facing x to welcome the "God of Fortune"

When the road meets wells, stones, and temples, cover them with bonuses, and you will be lucky.

The heaven and the earth are dense, Xianheng celebrates the meeting, the house is full of gold and jade, longevity and wealth.

X early X month X day.

"Send good" can not only determine a good day for marriage, but also send a dowry to the woman.The dowry gifts are mostly red shirts, blue jackets, rings, pendants, belts, etc., which are wrapped in red bundles and cypress branches are inserted on top, which means "longevity for a hundred years".

13. What is the process of paying homage?

Generally speaking, after the bride is welcomed into the door, it is time to "worship the hall", also known as "worship the sky and the earth", that is, to start the ceremony of worshiping the sky and the earth, which is the main symbol of the wedding.

The place of worship is generally in front of the door of the bridal chamber, and an altar is set up, on which there are tablets of heaven, earth, monarchs, relatives and teachers, and ancestral tablets are hung behind the altar.After the bride and groom are seated, the two male guests will sing and guide, and pay homage to heaven and earth, ancestors and parents.Then do the husband and wife salute.Generally, the male guest who presides over the wedding sings: "First worship the heaven and earth, then worship the high hall (that is, the parents), and the husband and wife worship each other." After the couple salutes, they sing "Send to the bridal chamber".In many places, after the ceremony, the groom will lead the bride to the bridal chamber with a piece of red silk. At the door of the bridal chamber, the groom will use a scale to pick off the bride’s "red hooded head" before the bride enters the bridal chamber, or wait for the bride to enter the bridal chamber. After sitting on the bed, the bridegroom picked out the "hooded red" with a scale.In many places, after the bridegroom leads the bride into the bridal chamber with red silk, they sit side by side on the edge of the bed and are greeted by the "Quanfuren" (referring to a woman with living parents and a husband, and a woman with both children). The corner of the bride's dress is pressed against the skirt of the groom's robe.The groom picks off the hijab on the bride's head with a scale, and then exits.The bride's sister-in-law immediately took off the new shoes on the bride's feet and changed another pair for her.The so-called "new shoes, a new model" means that the bride must follow the rules of the husband's family and be restrained by the husband's family.

13. What are the main customs of welcoming relatives?

In ancient times, when the couple was about to get married, both the man and the woman had to kill pigs and sheep, and prepare to invite cooks, bridesmaids, bearers and other miscellaneous personnel.After these people apply for employment, they should go to the hired family the day before their wedding to prepare for the wedding banquet.The traditional wedding is that the bride's family prepares the wedding wine in the morning, and the husband holds a wedding feast at noon, and vice versa if it is a marriage.After everything is ready, the man's family fires cannons and plays music, and sends out sedan chairs to welcome the bride.The matchmaker takes the lead, followed by the groom, bridesmaids, sedan chair, and band.Before the bridal sedan chair arrives, the bride's family must prepare for the wedding feast.The girl should be combed by her mother or elder sister, put on makeup, cover her head with a red cloth, and wait for the sedan chair to welcome her relatives.

When the sedan chair arrives at the woman's home, cannons and music are fired to welcome her.After the welcoming procession enters the main room of the bride's family, the bridegroom lands on the sedan chair, pays homage to his father-in-law and mother-in-law, and presents a red greeting card written in his father's name.Then there is a feast at the women's family.After breakfast, the bride and groom will salute to the bride's ancestors and elders under the guidance of the matchmaker, and the bridesmaids can help the bride on the sedan chair.Before getting on the sedan chair, the bride usually has to cry to show her attachment to her parents and family.After the bride gets on the sedan chair, she plays music and fires guns, and gets up from the sedan chair to make a kiss.The band is in front, and behind the band is the groom, riding a horse if possible, followed by the bridal sedan chair and other people who see off the relatives.

The way back to get married must take another road, so sometimes you have to go around the road, commonly known as "do not turn back".If you come across temples, wells, ancestral halls, tombs, big stones, big trees, etc. on the road, you must cover the wedding sedan chair to avoid evil spirits.If you meet a funeral, the wedding and relatives will say: "Auspicious today, you have met treasure!" When the procession to meet the bride is about to arrive at the door of the groom's house, the groom's family will fire cannons to greet them with joy.The sedan chair stops in front of the main room of the groom's house. The bridesmaids invited by the groom's family are usually young and beautiful women. Flowers are generally replaced by red and yellow confetti, which will push the wedding to a climax.

14. What are the utensils for newlyweds to protect themselves from evil spirits?

During the wedding, people in the world use spells to exorcise the bride from evil spirits to ensure safety. There are many artifacts used in these spells to exorcise evil spirits, mainly including:
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