Baidu otaku as Chongzhen

Chapter 292

On the feast.

The lecturer regretted letting the emperor choose the topic himself, and now, he can only speak according to the emperor's topic.

"Reporting to Your Majesty, Liu Zongyuan, Liu Dong's "Snake Catcher Talk" is included in Liu Zongyuan's "Mr. "Said" was written by Liuhe Dong when he was an official in Yongzhou, through Jiang's self-report..." The lecturer began to comprehensively introduce the relevant knowledge of this article.

To be honest, if Yang Reform hadn't recited this ancient prose before, it would be impossible for him to be interested in this article now, or in other words, it would be very troublesome to listen to it, just the classical Chinese prose.

Revisiting the texts when I was a child at 600 years old, I feel quite good!There is a feeling of changing vicissitudes.

……

"...Your Majesty, this article is all about this, 'tyranny is fiercer than a tiger'! The people would rather take the risk of being bitten to death by poisonous snakes in order to pay taxes. It can be seen that the people are really suffering." It was very hot, The lecturer wiped the sweat from his forehead and said.

"That is to say, each family only needs to pay two poisonous snakes every year, which can offset the annual tax. Therefore, even though catching poisonous snakes is very dangerous, there are still many people rushing to them, right?" Yang Reform did not feel sorry for the ancient people. How hard it is, the working people of the ancients were very bitter. This Yang Reform knew that the new China was much better than the ancient times. However, the rural areas in the 90s and [-]s are still fresh in Yang Reform's heart, and he knows what poverty and hardship are.

"Return to Your Majesty, yes, every family only needs to pay two poisonous snakes each year, and the whole family can be exempted from taxes for the whole year. Although it seems very cost-effective, once bitten by a poisonous snake, there is no cure. Don't wait for a while. Killing, in dozens of years, even if you succeed countless times, if you miss it once, you will definitely die, so it is said, 'tyranny is fiercer than a tiger', life is not easy for the people!" The lecturer explained conscientiously.

"Since two poisonous snakes can exempt a family from taxes, why not keep some poisonous snakes in captivity? If so, don't you want to go to the mountains to catch them?" Yang Reform asked.

"...Your Majesty, keep them in captivity? Then Mrs. Jiang kept the snakes in a tank, and when the snake collector came, he handed the snakes in..." The lecturer explained incomprehensibly.

"I mean, why don't you breed poisonous snakes yourself? Large-scale reproduction, let alone two, even two thousand, is not a problem!" Yang Reform asked. The TV programs of poisonous snakes, centipedes, and scorpions [If you haven’t watched it, please watch the agricultural program of Central 7, it’s quite interesting], these things are still fresh in my memory, and Yang Reform I decisively asked the question in my heart, why not large-scale artificial breeding?

All the ministers couldn't help laughing inwardly, this emperor really has never seen the world!Two would risk their lives, two thousand?Is this below the article?To reproduce by oneself is truly ignorant and fearless!

The lecturer also smiled awkwardly, and said: "Your Majesty, two are already difficult enough, how can we catch another two thousand? Then how can the Jiang family survive?"

"Forget it, forget it, just pretend I didn't say anything." Yang Reform didn't care, this is not the 21st century, and large-scale breeding is not yet possible.

All the ministers bowed their heads and suppressed the laughter in their hearts. The emperor looked very shrewd and mature in his actions, but sometimes he would ask some inexplicable and childish questions, which made people laugh. He was really a child!

"By the way, lecturer, I just heard you say that if a poisonous snake bites someone, it will kill you soon? Is that so?" Seeing that he was being ridiculed for no reason, Yang Reform felt upset and decided to have some fun.

"Reporting to Your Majesty, yes, if you are bitten by that kind of poisonous snake, you will die in less than a moment. It is quite poisonous." The lecturer replied with certainty.

"Oh, is it? Then I want to ask, why does the poisonous snake die so quickly after being bitten? Is the poisonous snake not poisonous elsewhere?" Yang Reform asked.

"Return to Your Majesty, because poisonous snakes have fangs, so anyone who bites them will be killed on the spot." The lecturer replied.

"Poisonous fangs? The snake's fangs are hidden in the mouth. Why didn't the poisonous snake die? In other words, only the fangs of the snake are poisonous, and the rest of the snake is not poisonous. As I remember, snake meat is edible, right?"

"This..." The lecturer was speechless, not knowing how to answer.

"...Return to Your Majesty, this... Maybe, it's probably like this. Only the fangs of poisonous snakes should be poisonous, and the snake's body should be non-poisonous, because snake meat is indeed edible..." The lecturer began Unable to make up my mind, I started talking nonsense.

"Since the fangs are poisonous, why can snake meat be eaten? It stands to reason that our human teeth and mouth are together. If there is poison in the teeth of our mouth, the poison will definitely be sucked into our body from the mouth. We are very He will die soon." Yang Reform asked all the way to the end, just to ridicule these ancient people, and Yang Reform wanted to bully the ancients with their own knowledge.

"...This, that..., Your Majesty, I really don't know..." The lecturer resolutely begged for mercy. This question was beyond the scope of his knowledge.

"Everyone, I think that this poisonous snake should have a special place to hide its poison. When it needs to be used, it can be injected into the human body through its fangs. Therefore, I think that this poisonous snake's fangs should be hollow. Can explain these many problems, believe it or not?" Yang Reform resolutely turned the building, and it seems that this Sutra Banquet cannot continue.

The officials have never thought about what the fangs of a poisonous snake look like, and they are all baffled by this question.

"Okay, now that we're talking about this issue, let's make a bet. It can be regarded as increasing our knowledge. Those who agree with me stand on the left, and those who disagree stand on the right."

The officials were puzzled, is this still a sutra feast?Do you still speak the words of the saints?
"Your Majesty, this is the Sutra Banquet. Why does Your Majesty say such nonsense? The snake's teeth may be hollow or not. What does it have to do with the Sutra Banquet? Your Majesty, this is too outrageous." A minister couldn't stand it anymore and came out to persuade the emperor.

"Uh..., the Qing family is wrong, this is also a science! If you find out whether the fangs of poisonous snakes are hollow, then you can figure out the key to the death of poisonous snakes. If they are hollow, then That is to say, the poisonous snake itself is non-poisonous, and injects the venom from the poisonous pan into the human body through the teeth in the air. After figuring this out, won’t there be a countermeasure for catching and preventing poisonous snakes in the future? Then Jiang’s Let alone catching two snakes, even catching [-] or [-] snakes is not difficult. People all over the country have been bitten by poisonous snakes and died. If we figure this out, wouldn’t it benefit the people? Isn’t that right? This can be regarded as solving problems for the people! The sages said, “The road is long and long, and I will search up and down.” Now that we encounter such a problem, we should also search up and down to find out the truth. ..." Yang Reform was just talking nonsense. Anyway, this sutra banquet is really tasteless, and it has to fight against the brainwashing of the ministers, so it is necessary to talk about this stuff. Last time, Yang Reform was just talking nonsense. For a while, the officials No one dared to hold a sutra banquet, because the emperor would talk nonsense during the sutra banquet.

The officials finally saw the emperor's nonsense ability, and they all shut up!If he persuades the emperor again, the emperor may say something astonishing again!Last time, the emperor talked about the taboos of the royal family without any scruples, which made these courtiers feel embarrassed, helpless, and even more frightened.

The officials began to choose, some stood on the left, some stood on the right, to meet the emperor's request.

Seeing that everyone had chosen their positions, Yang Reform said again: "Okay, companion, go and invite the imperial physician. The purpose of catching snakes is to use them as medicine. Presumably the imperial physicians should know whether the snake's fangs are hollow or not." Black belly, pulling the ministers to play games.Of course, they abused these ancient people with their own knowledge. Who said that in the 21st century, there is Internet, education, and a wide range of knowledge?
As an imperial physician, he is always ready to serve the emperor and respond to emergencies. Therefore, the imperial physician on duty will never be too far away from the emperor. After a while, he invites the imperial physician to the Wenhua Palace.

Along with them came the eunuchs, the imperial medicine supervisors of the inner court. They always participated in seeing the emperor, so as to prevent people from murdering the emperor. It is easy for doctors to deceive laymen, but it is difficult to deceive colleagues.

Imperial Physician Wang of the imperial hospital carefully kowtowed to the emperor, and the eunuchs of the imperial medicine supervisor also kowtowed.

After some salutes.

"Emperor Physician, I heard that poisonous snakes can be used as medicine? Is this true?" Yang Reform asked.

"Returning to Your Majesty, yes, yes, after the poisonous snake is dried, it can indeed be used as medicine. It can treat many diseases, and it has special effects. It can cure strong winds and convulsions..." Imperial Physician Wang began to criticize his family.

"Very good, then I will ask you again, is this poisonous snake poisonous all over, or only its fangs?" Yang Reform asked.

"Returning to Your Majesty, most of the poisonous snakes themselves are not poisonous, and the poisonous ones are the poisonous naan and fangs." Wang Taiyi said again.

"Then I'll ask you again, the fangs of poisonous snakes are hollow? The venom is injected into the human body through the hollow fangs? Isn't it?"

Physician Wang was dumbfounded, why did the emperor ask this?After thinking for a while, he said, "Return to Your Majesty, because it should be true. The poisonous snake injects venom into the human body through its fangs. Presumably, the fangs are in the air, but they are too small to be observed by human eyes! Therefore, I dare not Sure." Tai Hospital made an inference.

"Hehe, is that so? Didn't I send you a magnifying glass to your Tai Hospital? You have never used a magnifying glass to observe whether the fangs of poisonous snakes are hollow in your Tai Hospital? Do you know how many people die from poisonous snakes every year? ? If you can figure out the specific process and method of this poisonous snake biting people to death, wouldn’t you be able to effectively deal with the poisonous snake, or how to avoid being bitten by a poisonous snake? Wouldn’t this benefit the people of the world? You are too hospital, don’t wait a day Stay idle till night! Find something to do!" Yang reformed the ghost.This sutra banquet is really tasteless, and we must prevent it from being brainwashed. Yang Reform just wants to make this sutra feast a one-time event, and the ministers don't want to hold it again. Hearing the sutra feast will cause headaches, so that the ministers will have nothing to worry about in the future Own.

This imperial doctor surnamed Wang was very embarrassed. The emperor did send a lot of magnifying glasses, even alcohol lamps, glass test tubes and so on. These things are used to see if the snake's teeth are hollow.

"In this way, big companion, let someone send a poisonous snake over immediately, and then send some magnifying glasses to let the imperial doctor see if the snake's teeth are hollow. There must be an explanation for this matter today!" Yang Reform began unlimited Crooked building.

"Yes, Your Majesty!" Wang Chengen agreed.

"Wait, bring me a batch of thermometers, I'll be useful." Yang Reform also explained that since he decided to crook the building today, it's enough. into a medical classroom.It also brainwashed these Ming Dynasty scholar-bureaucrats.

"As ordered, Your Majesty, this servant will go right away." Wang Chengen promised.

All the ministers peeped at each other, not knowing what kind of medicine was sold in the emperor's gourd. Some ministers secretly sighed inwardly. It seemed that the sutra feast had failed again.

……

After a while, a little eunuch came in with a dead snake and a magnifying glass.

As soon as the dead snake entered the door, a strong stench pervaded the entire hall, and many people covered their mouths and noses.

"Prince doctor, you should be experienced in handling snakes, right? Let's see if the snake's fangs are hollow." Yang Reform ordered the doctor to dissect the snake on the spot.It is necessary to give biology lessons to these ministers in class, and to make the ministers feel afraid of Jingyan.

"My Majesty, I believe that the Sutra Banquet is a place where scriptures and history are taught, morals are passed on, and saints speak. It needs to be solemn and dignified, and such barbaric things should not be done here." Some people objected immediately.

The officials also objected, as soon as the dead snake entered the house, there would be a stench in the whole house, who could bear it?What's more, it depends on how the imperial doctor breaks open the dead snake and observes the fangs of the dead snake. This is simply insulting to the gentleman!Sven sweeps the floor.

"Hehe, it's okay. I'm really curious about this, and I want to know immediately. Besides, this is for the benefit of the people of the world. Why should you be afraid of smelly and dirty? I'm not afraid, what are you afraid of? The sages have something to say' The road is long and long, and I will search up and down." This is also very learned. Since everyone is confused, let's search for a while. It can be regarded as the famous sayings and philosophies of our monarchs and ministers. Let's start quickly, I can't wait, there is still a bet just now, the winner will be rewarded, and the loser will be punished..." Yang Reform is determined to do this, and he does not hesitate to use the sages as a shield.

All the ministers shook their heads, they could only keep their mouths shut and act according to the emperor's wishes. If they fought with the emperor, maybe even the cattle and sheep would be moved to the Wenhua Palace to be killed.

Under the urging of the emperor, the imperial physician began to dissect the snake's body.

Yang Reform said again: "Everyone, don't be idle while the imperial physician is busy, each take a thermometer, and then put the thermometer in the armpit like I did,... yes, that's it, that's it..." Yang Reform made ministers carry thermometers under their arms.

The ministers were all downcast, a good Sutra banquet, and now it turned out like this, not much to say, the snake is gone, are you afraid of this?Also curious, they followed the emperor's example and put the thermometer in their armpits.

The imperial physician surnamed Wang cut open the snake's head, pulled out the fangs, and observed it carefully with a magnifying glass.Although the snake is dead, it is still very bloody. Many ministers, seeing such a bloody scene and smelling the stench, vomited, and many of them turned pale. What a headache!
After a while, the imperial doctor was sure of what he saw, and said: "Your Majesty, after careful observation, the fangs of this poisonous snake are indeed hollow. I didn't have this magnifying glass before, so I couldn't see clearly, and I didn't dare to put it down." The conclusion, now, with a magnifying glass, it is clear."

Yang Reform held the thermometer between his hands and shouted loudly: "Okay! The imperial doctor, you have observed carefully, and you will be rewarded. It also settled a dispute between our monarchs and ministers. It also made me understand the truth for a while, and confirmed my conjecture. Sure enough. , The teeth of poisonous snakes are hollow, hehe... Everyone, if you don't believe me, you can go and see for yourself, or go home and kill a snake head to see for yourself. This time I bet, but I won, and those who follow me will have rewards. Each person's salary will be increased for one month, and those who lose will be reduced for half a month, hehe, imperial physician, you should also increase your salary for one month." Yang Reform said with a smile.

Although the minister standing on the left was very dissatisfied with the emperor's nonsensical way of disrupting the scriptures, it was a good thing to get an extra month's salary.Those who lost were downcast, not only losing money, but also losing face.

Yang Reform was still holding the thermometer under his arm, and said, "Everyone, first look at the correspondence between these numbers and Chinese characters..." Yang Reform was selling his own thermometer again.Since the thermometer has a blowtorch made of alcohol, the sealing has been done perfectly. The thermometer has stabilized and is made in a relatively standard way. It has the possibility of mass production.Yang Reform is ready to sell his own products. Although he has little money, he still has to sell.

Several young eunuchs immediately showed the comparison between Chinese characters and numbers to the ministers.

Regardless of whether the ministers like it or not, anyway, everyone is watching.

After a while, Yang Reform said again: "Everyone, have you memorized how Chinese characters and numbers correspond to each other? Okay... now, take out the thermometer, put it in front of you, and see what the reading is... ..." Yang Reform reads quickly.

The officials also followed the emperor.

"My body temperature is 36.5 degrees... Everyone, what is your body temperature?" Yang Reform was very excited to popularize thermometers to others, and to educate the ministers of the Ming Dynasty.

The officials looked at the thermometer in their hands and compared the numbers and characters, muttering to themselves.

"Your Majesty, the minister's degree is a little more than 36 degrees..."

"Your Majesty, my minister's is 37 degrees..."

"Your Majesty, I seem to be a little over 37 degrees..."

Soon, most people will be able to report their thermometer readings.

Yang Reform said with a smile: "Okay! Hehe, everyone, in fact, after thousands of verifications by Liulizhai, the body temperature of a normal person, the temperature in the armpit, should be between 36 degrees and 37 degrees, which is normal. Liulizhai has also measured the body temperature of many patients and found that the temperature of the patients is generally different from that of normal people. Some patients have a temperature as high as 38 degrees. If the fever is severe, it can even be 39 degrees or 35 degrees. Some will burn people's brains, and some are low temperature, only [-] degrees, and you will feel chills all over your body. Haha, this thermometer is a measure of temperature. Haha, the degree of this thermometer is also determined by me. Everyone, don’t you find it amazing?” Yang Reform was very happy to popularize science and brainwash these big bureaucrats of the Ming Dynasty. These bureaucrats want to brainwash themselves with the four books and five classics of Confucianism, and he wants to brainwash these people with scientific knowledge. The effect depends on the means of both parties.Science was Yang Reform's weapon against bureaucrats in the late Ming Dynasty.

[Hehe, well, a few chapters of nonsense. 】

(End of this chapter)