The Subconscious Mind and the Sixth Sense
Chapter 48 The Most Sensitive Nerve—Induction
Chapter 48 The Most Sensitive Nerve—Induction (2)
If the person involved happened to be familiar with the name reported by the other party, and he was eager to help the other party without checking, then he might be fooled.In this way, the crooks successfully use cold reading.
Also, why can the fortune-telling fairy speak to the psychology of the fortune-seeker?It is precisely because he is well versed in this psychological principle, and cleverly uses the cold reading technique to continuously speak to the mind of the person seeking calculations, thus easily convincing the other party to believe him.
The fortune-telling fairy will not say dead words, most of them are plausible words that cannot be wrong no matter how they are explained, so that the other party feels that they are accurate and thus gain trust.And using this method will also become a good communication method.So, how can we understand the heart of others and speak to the heart of the other person?
When a person learns to effectively observe and capture the thoughts of others, he will naturally know when to speak.When a person keeps saying what the other person is thinking, or keeps saying what the other person wants to hear, then the other person will naturally be very happy and willing to continue the conversation.
Say what others want to hear.This is not a humble flattery, but one of the most effective conversation skills and the simplest strategy to quickly shorten the psychological distance with the other party.If you want to speak the mind of others, you should not be too absolute when expressing the language. You must use a variety of expression methods, polysemous words, and ambiguous vocabulary to improve the accuracy of "speaking".
Everyone has some weaknesses in their hearts more or less, which is the secret of the cold reading technique to play a role.Of course, the vast majority of people in society do not have a dark psychology, but in terms of the human heart, everyone has psychological needs such as being respected, understood, listened to, and comforted.These psychological needs are just the opportunity to successfully implement cold reading and create a good communication situation, so that the two parties can reach a relationship of trust.
Uncovering the secrets of fortune tellers can help people avoid being deceived. At the same time, using cold reading, a common skill of fortune tellers, in building interpersonal relationships can often deepen understanding, trust, appreciation and respect with partners, and maintain pleasant exchanges State, maintaining a sense of security in interpersonal communication.In other words, a skill does not matter whether it is good or bad, it all depends on whether the user is correct and attentive.
Next, we provide some specific methodologies for further clarification.
1. Cup tricks
When the friendship with the other party is still in an ambiguous stage, it is very difficult to correctly grasp the sense of distance with the other party.The most frightening thing is that you think the relationship between the two is good, but the other party doesn't think so.In this way, there will be a subtle gap in the "sense of distance" in the hearts of the two.At this time, you can use the "cup technique" to find out what the other party is thinking.You might as well find an opportunity to have a drink with the other party. After chatting for a while, pretend to move your cup closer to the other's cup inadvertently. If the other party doesn't move the cup, it can be said that the distance between the two has shortened.If the other party silently removes the cup, it means that he thinks that the two of them should maintain the status quo and have no further plans.Through the distance between the cups, the distance between the two can be measured.
I once saw a performance about "yellow balls and red balls". The performer said: "Please imagine that there are two balls here, a yellow ball and a red ball." The performer indicated the two imaginary balls with gestures. s position. "Please imagine one of the balls immediately by your intuition." The person who is asked will immediately reply: "Well, the yellow ball." "Why did you choose the yellow ball?" Nodding in understanding. "You thought you chose the yellow ball, but it wasn't true—it was 'I' who told you to 'choose' the yellow ball." "You told me to choose? What do you mean?"
The reason why the opponent can easily choose the designated ball lies in the fact that the performer indicates the position of the ball with hand gestures.The performer first indicates "here is a yellow ball" with his left hand, and then indicates "here is a red ball" with his right hand.Then put your hands down.Then ask: "If you had to choose immediately, which one would you choose?" When speaking of "immediately", you must boldly raise your left hand to indicate the position of the yellow ball.In this way, the impression of the "yellow ball" will jump into the opponent's subconscious, and when forced to use intuition to choose, the "yellow ball" is easier to come to mind.Of course, the other party will not be aware of it at all consciously, so they will think that it is an unintentional choice that has achieved a magical push.
For another example, two contracts are placed in front of the customer and explained: "One is a contract for one-time payment, and the other is a contract for installment payment-may I ask which one do you choose?" When saying "which one" , looking into the customer's eyes, while touching the "one-time payment contract" with his hand.Of course, if the customer has already decided to pay in installments, that's another matter.If the customer is in the stage of hesitation and doesn't know which one to choose, he will involuntarily choose the "contract with one-off payment", and he will not doubt that it is not "his own idea", even if one-time payment is good for the business. Members are more beneficial.
how do you feel?Do you feel a little scary?We are all like this, and can be manipulated by others without knowing it.Whether you know this situation will lead to a different life.So be sure to master cold reading.
2. Double Bind
"Can I date you?"
"No, I'm very busy today."
"How about a cup of tea?"
"I'm really not free."
"When are you free?"
"do not know."
The above-mentioned way of inviting can easily make "No" appear in the other party's mind, that is to say, it is easy to let the other party's thoughts enter the mode of how to refuse.Therefore, blocking the initial "No" response is very important.So, how can we block "No"?It's very simple, just use the statement that can't answer "No".
"Shall we go for dinner or tea?"
"But I'm not free."
"Then let's go to tea."
"Well, a cup of tea would be fine."
It's okay to say "No" to "May I go on a date?", but it's grammatically incorrect to say "No" to "Shall we go out to dinner or tea?"When asked "Which one is better?" but answered "No", the answer is a bit irrelevant, so the thought of "No" will not appear in the mind of the other party, and the attitude will be slightly relaxed, and it is easy to say "Oh, just a cup of tea is fine." " thoughts.
3. Use cunning negation to hit the opponent's mind
The key point of this technique is to use "negative interrogative sentences", no matter whether you have guessed the real situation of the other party or not, you can follow the other party's words.For example, ask a question about something that is bothering the client company, and if the guess is correct, the conversation can continue like this.
"It's a pity that you are so low-key! In fact, you are a very capable and humorous person, but you haven't fully shown it yet."
In people's conversations, you will often hear sentences that sound "from the heart" such as "You are...just..." and "It's really...just...".
The brilliance of cold reading seems natural, but it is actually a thoughtful and comfortable trap.If the other party compliments straight to the point or puts forward their own suggestions and ideas, I will immediately increase my vigilance.But once the other party turns around in a tactful way, the compliments and thoughts will immediately turn into pertinent outlines.
There is such a story, a smart young man asked: "Chairman, are you troubled by the lack of motivation of the staff?" It’s not enough.” The young man: “Of course the employees of your company are devoting themselves to their work. But because of this, if you don’t increase the number of employees, it will affect the morale of the employees sooner or later. Our company happens to have someone to hire Project, let me briefly explain it to you?"
In this way, a few simple words have become a wonderful way to propose.
When you first read the stories, you may think that these are smart people, eloquent, active thinking, etc., but in fact it is not a special personality trait, but a kind of cold reading technique.
Mastering and making good use of cold reading and gaining good interpersonal relationships will lead to more successful completion of work and a better grasp of life and the future.
Emotional speculation: Is love an accident?
[Humans are not herbs, who can be ruthless?Everyone will have emotions in communication, and different emotions will have different effects on communication. 】
Love is the highlight of life. People long to love and be loved. For love, they have been crazy, hurt, and happy.The beauty at the beginning of love is the pain after love. Therefore, many people often imagine that if any conditions change at the beginning, the people who stay together may become strangers. Therefore, people are often grateful for fate and for this love. A kind of inexplicable meeting and admiration, no matter whether this feeling brings happiness or inexplicable pain.
The "Dictionary of Psychology" explains: "Emotion is a person's attitude and experience of whether objective things meet his needs." So "does liking a person need a reason"?
People often say: "Looking back [-] times in the past life is exchanged for passing by once in this life." "Among thousands of people, I met you, neither sooner nor later, impartial. Is this fate or a chance encounter?"
In fact, love is not random.
According to the theory of Harvard University psychologist Professor Pandora: "When a man and a woman meet for the first time, if the body temperature is maintained at 38.6 degrees Celsius, the probability of falling in love at first sight will be as high as [-]%!"
Someone made such an interpretation of feelings, people fall in love, and he (she) happens to be in love, and that person appears.The reason is as follows, everyone has an "affinity need", that is, the need to pursue friendly and intimate interpersonal relationships.Simply put, it is the need to be close to and be with other people.
When people are alone, they often feel uneasy. When they are accompanied by friends, they will feel at ease and not feel lonely.Therefore, this instinctive need prompts people to look for companions and friends unconsciously or consciously.When meeting friends of the opposite sex, they will respect each other as guests at the beginning, and after discovering the commonalities between them through communication, they will develop a good impression of each other.Gradually, they wanted to further shorten the distance between each other, and then began to rely on each other, and wanted to be relied on by each other, and even sacrificed themselves to help each other.In the end, there was a feeling of wanting to monopolize the other party.This is the feeling of love.
Love has an extraordinary magical power, and it is also a very mysterious thing, which cannot be explained clearly from a scientific point of view.When people's emotions are touched, they enter into an irrational subconscious process; the love relationship is actually very much like a mother and a baby, admiring each other and looking at each other affectionately.In addition, they both want to dedicate the best to each other, and feel anxious and uneasy when they are not together.
Just because love is a very important part of our life, we should understand love more fully, explore the "password of love", understand the true face of love, love is not blind, and should be taken seriously.
Love, when did it begin, and how did it arise.
In the romantic world of love, people find that it seems that the more obvious the difference between the opposite sex, the easier it is to attract each other.However, few have been able to explain why.
Therefore, everyone said with certainty: because of their differences, they are attracted to each other, which leads to love.
This is called "differences make love".Believed to be one of the reasons for the strong attraction between lovers, this differentiated attraction is the search for the "whole self".Just like the phenomenon of magnets "opposites attract" in nature.In love relationships, we also often see the relationship between "quiet" and "slow doctor", "extrovert" and "introvert", "lively" and "steady", "analytical" and "sentimental" , which strongly attract each other.
When a person meets a person of the opposite sex who has his own "shadow personality", he often feels joy in his heart, because the other person shows personality traits that he lacks.
When a cool man meets a lively woman, they are often full of freshness and joy, colliding with strong sparks.Her plentiful and joyful affection will often stir up his personality that has suppressed the soft emotional part of his heart for a long time.When he was with her, his "shadow personality" who was buried in the dark cellar began to see the sun, and felt a lively and fresh life force injected from the outside, which attracted him deeply, and he felt as if he had been reborn, and he was shackled. The mind was instantly freed.
Opposites attract each other. In this way, the two gradually move closer and fall into the deep sea of love. Each has a chance of life. The process of self-exploration and integration of the deeply repressed self with one's "dominant personality" to develop a more complete and mature personality is the pursuit of the "complete self".
Studies have shown that people often choose partners of the opposite sex who are similar to themselves.The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States conducted a survey of 2003 young volunteers in New York in 1000, which can prove this point.Those with higher incomes, better education and modest achievements, both men and women, want to find equally wealthy and successful partners of the opposite sex.Physical similarity is also an important consideration when people choose a partner.Compared with the excitement brought by the world of difference, people prefer the stability of inclusiveness.Then there is a very interesting inference that the ideal partner for most people should be someone of their own age.
Those who tend to be emotionally stable tend to think that when they have the same feelings, they will often get resonance from both parties.It's like the feeling of "sick and sympathetic", that is to say, when people have the same feelings, they can quickly find a common language and fall in love at first sight, so that they can talk freely, gradually understand, and accept each other more easily.
Therefore, there will be such a phenomenon that when a person likes someone, he will automatically remove obstacles, approach him, love his house, including praise his views and actions, or respond to requests and understand what he likes; On the contrary, you will hide yourself, build a barrier in your heart, stay away and isolate people you don't like to the greatest extent, so your social circles will be different, and they will go farther and farther, and there will be no more intersections.
The famous American psychologist Ken Wilber described the feeling after falling in love with his lover Treya in this way: "I was lying on the bed and found that there were some subtle energies flowing in my body, some of which were like the so-called 'kundalini'. Oriental Religions believe that this energy symbolizes spiritual awakening, and it can only be awakened when you meet the right person or thing. I have been meditating for 15 years. This kind of subtle energy is often found in meditation, but it has never been so obvious. It's incredible that the same thing happened to Treya at the same time."
It is not difficult to find that "whether people meet people's needs for objective things" is actually a typical value judgment problem. "Meeting people's needs" is the value characteristic of things, an objective existence, "attitude" and "experience" Both are people's way of understanding or reflecting the value characteristics of things. In this way, the definition of emotion in psychology can be expressed as: "Emotion is the subjective reflection of people's value characteristics of things."The objective existence corresponding to emotion should be the value characteristic of things.
It can be seen from this that people in love are often self-centered: my feelings, my methods, my requirements, I hope you, because I love you, you must meet my requirements, my wishes, if not , you just don't love me.
A hundred years ago, successful men might have liked women who were tall, sexy, but lacking in intelligence. Today, they may prefer women who are at the same level of intelligence and have the same professional achievements as themselves.
Love and marriage are a special kind of interpersonal relationship, called "intimate relationship". Another kind of intimate relationship is mother and child. These two intimate relationships are similar, and the feelings they bring us will be the same to some extent. .
People are always pursuing a new high point and a new image of their self-face.In the choice of love, people are often used to look at each other with a very critical eye, so there may be such a cycle.For example, in the eyes of some women, talented men think they are ugly, handsome men think they earn little money, men who make a lot of money think they don’t care about their families, men who take care of their families think they are worthless, and promising men think they are worthless. Romantic, romantic men are too unreliable, and reliable men are too unreliable to go out... If this cycle continues, there will be no man in the world who can meet the standard.And once you fall in love with someone, you will unconsciously think that his (her) advantages meet all expectations in your heart, and his (her) shortcomings can often be forgiven.
Love is such a wonderful thing, but there is no love without a reason in this world.Once it has begun, it is fate, and cherishing is the greatest respect for feelings.
Human Magnetic Field: Birds of a Feather Flock together, People Divide into Groups
[People with the same intention, the same thinking or the same personality will always come together because of different things and combine in the same magnetic field. 】
In real life, it is not difficult to find that a person who likes to drink will have a group of drinking friends; a person who likes to gossip, his friends also like to gossip; People who dress up tend to get together with those who love to dress up.This is exactly what people often say: "People are divided into groups, and birds of a feather flock together."
At a party, you can often see this phenomenon, sometimes unconsciously chatting with a stranger next to you, and after talking for a while, you feel very in tune, and after further understanding, you are surprised to find that the person is actually a close relative, Or that person is a friend of a friend of yours, which often happens.
"Fish looks for fish, shrimp looks for shrimp...", no matter where a drunkard goes, he will soon find other drunkards; no matter where a gambler goes, he will soon become familiar with other gamblers; The friends around everyone must also be like-minded people.Even friends who don't look alike on the surface often share invisible qualities deep down.
This is a very strange phenomenon. Everyone is like a magnet. All thoughts, words, deeds, and behaviors will form a magnetic field, whether strong or weak, and constantly attract those people or things with similar factors. .
(End of this chapter)
If the person involved happened to be familiar with the name reported by the other party, and he was eager to help the other party without checking, then he might be fooled.In this way, the crooks successfully use cold reading.
Also, why can the fortune-telling fairy speak to the psychology of the fortune-seeker?It is precisely because he is well versed in this psychological principle, and cleverly uses the cold reading technique to continuously speak to the mind of the person seeking calculations, thus easily convincing the other party to believe him.
The fortune-telling fairy will not say dead words, most of them are plausible words that cannot be wrong no matter how they are explained, so that the other party feels that they are accurate and thus gain trust.And using this method will also become a good communication method.So, how can we understand the heart of others and speak to the heart of the other person?
When a person learns to effectively observe and capture the thoughts of others, he will naturally know when to speak.When a person keeps saying what the other person is thinking, or keeps saying what the other person wants to hear, then the other person will naturally be very happy and willing to continue the conversation.
Say what others want to hear.This is not a humble flattery, but one of the most effective conversation skills and the simplest strategy to quickly shorten the psychological distance with the other party.If you want to speak the mind of others, you should not be too absolute when expressing the language. You must use a variety of expression methods, polysemous words, and ambiguous vocabulary to improve the accuracy of "speaking".
Everyone has some weaknesses in their hearts more or less, which is the secret of the cold reading technique to play a role.Of course, the vast majority of people in society do not have a dark psychology, but in terms of the human heart, everyone has psychological needs such as being respected, understood, listened to, and comforted.These psychological needs are just the opportunity to successfully implement cold reading and create a good communication situation, so that the two parties can reach a relationship of trust.
Uncovering the secrets of fortune tellers can help people avoid being deceived. At the same time, using cold reading, a common skill of fortune tellers, in building interpersonal relationships can often deepen understanding, trust, appreciation and respect with partners, and maintain pleasant exchanges State, maintaining a sense of security in interpersonal communication.In other words, a skill does not matter whether it is good or bad, it all depends on whether the user is correct and attentive.
Next, we provide some specific methodologies for further clarification.
1. Cup tricks
When the friendship with the other party is still in an ambiguous stage, it is very difficult to correctly grasp the sense of distance with the other party.The most frightening thing is that you think the relationship between the two is good, but the other party doesn't think so.In this way, there will be a subtle gap in the "sense of distance" in the hearts of the two.At this time, you can use the "cup technique" to find out what the other party is thinking.You might as well find an opportunity to have a drink with the other party. After chatting for a while, pretend to move your cup closer to the other's cup inadvertently. If the other party doesn't move the cup, it can be said that the distance between the two has shortened.If the other party silently removes the cup, it means that he thinks that the two of them should maintain the status quo and have no further plans.Through the distance between the cups, the distance between the two can be measured.
I once saw a performance about "yellow balls and red balls". The performer said: "Please imagine that there are two balls here, a yellow ball and a red ball." The performer indicated the two imaginary balls with gestures. s position. "Please imagine one of the balls immediately by your intuition." The person who is asked will immediately reply: "Well, the yellow ball." "Why did you choose the yellow ball?" Nodding in understanding. "You thought you chose the yellow ball, but it wasn't true—it was 'I' who told you to 'choose' the yellow ball." "You told me to choose? What do you mean?"
The reason why the opponent can easily choose the designated ball lies in the fact that the performer indicates the position of the ball with hand gestures.The performer first indicates "here is a yellow ball" with his left hand, and then indicates "here is a red ball" with his right hand.Then put your hands down.Then ask: "If you had to choose immediately, which one would you choose?" When speaking of "immediately", you must boldly raise your left hand to indicate the position of the yellow ball.In this way, the impression of the "yellow ball" will jump into the opponent's subconscious, and when forced to use intuition to choose, the "yellow ball" is easier to come to mind.Of course, the other party will not be aware of it at all consciously, so they will think that it is an unintentional choice that has achieved a magical push.
For another example, two contracts are placed in front of the customer and explained: "One is a contract for one-time payment, and the other is a contract for installment payment-may I ask which one do you choose?" When saying "which one" , looking into the customer's eyes, while touching the "one-time payment contract" with his hand.Of course, if the customer has already decided to pay in installments, that's another matter.If the customer is in the stage of hesitation and doesn't know which one to choose, he will involuntarily choose the "contract with one-off payment", and he will not doubt that it is not "his own idea", even if one-time payment is good for the business. Members are more beneficial.
how do you feel?Do you feel a little scary?We are all like this, and can be manipulated by others without knowing it.Whether you know this situation will lead to a different life.So be sure to master cold reading.
2. Double Bind
"Can I date you?"
"No, I'm very busy today."
"How about a cup of tea?"
"I'm really not free."
"When are you free?"
"do not know."
The above-mentioned way of inviting can easily make "No" appear in the other party's mind, that is to say, it is easy to let the other party's thoughts enter the mode of how to refuse.Therefore, blocking the initial "No" response is very important.So, how can we block "No"?It's very simple, just use the statement that can't answer "No".
"Shall we go for dinner or tea?"
"But I'm not free."
"Then let's go to tea."
"Well, a cup of tea would be fine."
It's okay to say "No" to "May I go on a date?", but it's grammatically incorrect to say "No" to "Shall we go out to dinner or tea?"When asked "Which one is better?" but answered "No", the answer is a bit irrelevant, so the thought of "No" will not appear in the mind of the other party, and the attitude will be slightly relaxed, and it is easy to say "Oh, just a cup of tea is fine." " thoughts.
3. Use cunning negation to hit the opponent's mind
The key point of this technique is to use "negative interrogative sentences", no matter whether you have guessed the real situation of the other party or not, you can follow the other party's words.For example, ask a question about something that is bothering the client company, and if the guess is correct, the conversation can continue like this.
"It's a pity that you are so low-key! In fact, you are a very capable and humorous person, but you haven't fully shown it yet."
In people's conversations, you will often hear sentences that sound "from the heart" such as "You are...just..." and "It's really...just...".
The brilliance of cold reading seems natural, but it is actually a thoughtful and comfortable trap.If the other party compliments straight to the point or puts forward their own suggestions and ideas, I will immediately increase my vigilance.But once the other party turns around in a tactful way, the compliments and thoughts will immediately turn into pertinent outlines.
There is such a story, a smart young man asked: "Chairman, are you troubled by the lack of motivation of the staff?" It’s not enough.” The young man: “Of course the employees of your company are devoting themselves to their work. But because of this, if you don’t increase the number of employees, it will affect the morale of the employees sooner or later. Our company happens to have someone to hire Project, let me briefly explain it to you?"
In this way, a few simple words have become a wonderful way to propose.
When you first read the stories, you may think that these are smart people, eloquent, active thinking, etc., but in fact it is not a special personality trait, but a kind of cold reading technique.
Mastering and making good use of cold reading and gaining good interpersonal relationships will lead to more successful completion of work and a better grasp of life and the future.
Emotional speculation: Is love an accident?
[Humans are not herbs, who can be ruthless?Everyone will have emotions in communication, and different emotions will have different effects on communication. 】
Love is the highlight of life. People long to love and be loved. For love, they have been crazy, hurt, and happy.The beauty at the beginning of love is the pain after love. Therefore, many people often imagine that if any conditions change at the beginning, the people who stay together may become strangers. Therefore, people are often grateful for fate and for this love. A kind of inexplicable meeting and admiration, no matter whether this feeling brings happiness or inexplicable pain.
The "Dictionary of Psychology" explains: "Emotion is a person's attitude and experience of whether objective things meet his needs." So "does liking a person need a reason"?
People often say: "Looking back [-] times in the past life is exchanged for passing by once in this life." "Among thousands of people, I met you, neither sooner nor later, impartial. Is this fate or a chance encounter?"
In fact, love is not random.
According to the theory of Harvard University psychologist Professor Pandora: "When a man and a woman meet for the first time, if the body temperature is maintained at 38.6 degrees Celsius, the probability of falling in love at first sight will be as high as [-]%!"
Someone made such an interpretation of feelings, people fall in love, and he (she) happens to be in love, and that person appears.The reason is as follows, everyone has an "affinity need", that is, the need to pursue friendly and intimate interpersonal relationships.Simply put, it is the need to be close to and be with other people.
When people are alone, they often feel uneasy. When they are accompanied by friends, they will feel at ease and not feel lonely.Therefore, this instinctive need prompts people to look for companions and friends unconsciously or consciously.When meeting friends of the opposite sex, they will respect each other as guests at the beginning, and after discovering the commonalities between them through communication, they will develop a good impression of each other.Gradually, they wanted to further shorten the distance between each other, and then began to rely on each other, and wanted to be relied on by each other, and even sacrificed themselves to help each other.In the end, there was a feeling of wanting to monopolize the other party.This is the feeling of love.
Love has an extraordinary magical power, and it is also a very mysterious thing, which cannot be explained clearly from a scientific point of view.When people's emotions are touched, they enter into an irrational subconscious process; the love relationship is actually very much like a mother and a baby, admiring each other and looking at each other affectionately.In addition, they both want to dedicate the best to each other, and feel anxious and uneasy when they are not together.
Just because love is a very important part of our life, we should understand love more fully, explore the "password of love", understand the true face of love, love is not blind, and should be taken seriously.
Love, when did it begin, and how did it arise.
In the romantic world of love, people find that it seems that the more obvious the difference between the opposite sex, the easier it is to attract each other.However, few have been able to explain why.
Therefore, everyone said with certainty: because of their differences, they are attracted to each other, which leads to love.
This is called "differences make love".Believed to be one of the reasons for the strong attraction between lovers, this differentiated attraction is the search for the "whole self".Just like the phenomenon of magnets "opposites attract" in nature.In love relationships, we also often see the relationship between "quiet" and "slow doctor", "extrovert" and "introvert", "lively" and "steady", "analytical" and "sentimental" , which strongly attract each other.
When a person meets a person of the opposite sex who has his own "shadow personality", he often feels joy in his heart, because the other person shows personality traits that he lacks.
When a cool man meets a lively woman, they are often full of freshness and joy, colliding with strong sparks.Her plentiful and joyful affection will often stir up his personality that has suppressed the soft emotional part of his heart for a long time.When he was with her, his "shadow personality" who was buried in the dark cellar began to see the sun, and felt a lively and fresh life force injected from the outside, which attracted him deeply, and he felt as if he had been reborn, and he was shackled. The mind was instantly freed.
Opposites attract each other. In this way, the two gradually move closer and fall into the deep sea of love. Each has a chance of life. The process of self-exploration and integration of the deeply repressed self with one's "dominant personality" to develop a more complete and mature personality is the pursuit of the "complete self".
Studies have shown that people often choose partners of the opposite sex who are similar to themselves.The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States conducted a survey of 2003 young volunteers in New York in 1000, which can prove this point.Those with higher incomes, better education and modest achievements, both men and women, want to find equally wealthy and successful partners of the opposite sex.Physical similarity is also an important consideration when people choose a partner.Compared with the excitement brought by the world of difference, people prefer the stability of inclusiveness.Then there is a very interesting inference that the ideal partner for most people should be someone of their own age.
Those who tend to be emotionally stable tend to think that when they have the same feelings, they will often get resonance from both parties.It's like the feeling of "sick and sympathetic", that is to say, when people have the same feelings, they can quickly find a common language and fall in love at first sight, so that they can talk freely, gradually understand, and accept each other more easily.
Therefore, there will be such a phenomenon that when a person likes someone, he will automatically remove obstacles, approach him, love his house, including praise his views and actions, or respond to requests and understand what he likes; On the contrary, you will hide yourself, build a barrier in your heart, stay away and isolate people you don't like to the greatest extent, so your social circles will be different, and they will go farther and farther, and there will be no more intersections.
The famous American psychologist Ken Wilber described the feeling after falling in love with his lover Treya in this way: "I was lying on the bed and found that there were some subtle energies flowing in my body, some of which were like the so-called 'kundalini'. Oriental Religions believe that this energy symbolizes spiritual awakening, and it can only be awakened when you meet the right person or thing. I have been meditating for 15 years. This kind of subtle energy is often found in meditation, but it has never been so obvious. It's incredible that the same thing happened to Treya at the same time."
It is not difficult to find that "whether people meet people's needs for objective things" is actually a typical value judgment problem. "Meeting people's needs" is the value characteristic of things, an objective existence, "attitude" and "experience" Both are people's way of understanding or reflecting the value characteristics of things. In this way, the definition of emotion in psychology can be expressed as: "Emotion is the subjective reflection of people's value characteristics of things."The objective existence corresponding to emotion should be the value characteristic of things.
It can be seen from this that people in love are often self-centered: my feelings, my methods, my requirements, I hope you, because I love you, you must meet my requirements, my wishes, if not , you just don't love me.
A hundred years ago, successful men might have liked women who were tall, sexy, but lacking in intelligence. Today, they may prefer women who are at the same level of intelligence and have the same professional achievements as themselves.
Love and marriage are a special kind of interpersonal relationship, called "intimate relationship". Another kind of intimate relationship is mother and child. These two intimate relationships are similar, and the feelings they bring us will be the same to some extent. .
People are always pursuing a new high point and a new image of their self-face.In the choice of love, people are often used to look at each other with a very critical eye, so there may be such a cycle.For example, in the eyes of some women, talented men think they are ugly, handsome men think they earn little money, men who make a lot of money think they don’t care about their families, men who take care of their families think they are worthless, and promising men think they are worthless. Romantic, romantic men are too unreliable, and reliable men are too unreliable to go out... If this cycle continues, there will be no man in the world who can meet the standard.And once you fall in love with someone, you will unconsciously think that his (her) advantages meet all expectations in your heart, and his (her) shortcomings can often be forgiven.
Love is such a wonderful thing, but there is no love without a reason in this world.Once it has begun, it is fate, and cherishing is the greatest respect for feelings.
Human Magnetic Field: Birds of a Feather Flock together, People Divide into Groups
[People with the same intention, the same thinking or the same personality will always come together because of different things and combine in the same magnetic field. 】
In real life, it is not difficult to find that a person who likes to drink will have a group of drinking friends; a person who likes to gossip, his friends also like to gossip; People who dress up tend to get together with those who love to dress up.This is exactly what people often say: "People are divided into groups, and birds of a feather flock together."
At a party, you can often see this phenomenon, sometimes unconsciously chatting with a stranger next to you, and after talking for a while, you feel very in tune, and after further understanding, you are surprised to find that the person is actually a close relative, Or that person is a friend of a friend of yours, which often happens.
"Fish looks for fish, shrimp looks for shrimp...", no matter where a drunkard goes, he will soon find other drunkards; no matter where a gambler goes, he will soon become familiar with other gamblers; The friends around everyone must also be like-minded people.Even friends who don't look alike on the surface often share invisible qualities deep down.
This is a very strange phenomenon. Everyone is like a magnet. All thoughts, words, deeds, and behaviors will form a magnetic field, whether strong or weak, and constantly attract those people or things with similar factors. .
(End of this chapter)
You'll Also Like
-
Family Cultivation: I can catalyze spirit insects
Chapter 186 9 hours ago -
Bloodline World
Chapter 662 10 hours ago -
From Hogwarts to Strixhaven
Chapter 369 10 hours ago -
I changed the timeline with the game
Chapter 1000 11 hours ago -
How can I become the Pirate King if you don’t work hard?
Chapter 130 11 hours ago -
I created the devil and became the most powerful villain
Chapter 144 11 hours ago -
When I’m in Naruto, I can integrate into the protagonist of the fan fiction!
Chapter 50 12 hours ago -
Curse: Red Blood Son
Chapter 141 12 hours ago -
Beastmaster is weak? But I gain one evolution point per second!
Chapter 117 12 hours ago -
The original god's plan to defeat the gods is revealed, starting with the God of Fire saving th
Chapter 117 2 days ago