The Subconscious Mind and the Sixth Sense

Chapter 56 The Deepest Internal Strength—Mind Power (4)
The professor explained with a smile: "When two people are angry, the distance between their hearts is far away, and in order to cover up the distance so that the other party can hear them, they must shout. But while shouting, people will be more angry and more If you are angry, the distance will be farther, and you will shout louder..."

When two people are in a period of passionate love, their hearts are very close, and there is almost no distance between them.So he speaks very softly and softly.It is also because of this that people in love speak almost in whispers, and the love in their hearts is thus deeper.When the love is stronger, there is no need for words at all, just use eyes to express love, and at that time there is no so-called distance between hearts...

On the train, most people will trust their upper and lower berths and the passengers opposite them, rather than other carriages walking around in the aisle or passengers whose seats are far away from them.This is not because the neighbors are more congenial, but because the seats are adjacent, the spatial distance is smaller, and the psychological distance is also smaller.

In 1950, three social psychologists in the United States conducted a survey of 3 residential buildings of married students at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.They are two-story buildings with 17 housing units on each floor.Which unit a resident lives in is purely accidental. The old resident of that unit moves out, and the new resident moves in, so it is random.

During the survey, the owners of all households were asked: Who is the closest neighbor you often deal with in this residential area?
The statistical results show that the closer people live, the more exchanges they have, and the closer the relationship.In the same building, the probability of interacting with the neighbor next door is 41%, the probability of interacting with the neighbor next door is 22%, and the probability of interacting with the neighbor of the third household is only 10%.A few more households apart, the actual distance will not increase much, but the degree of intimacy is very different.

It can be seen that controlling the spatial distance is actually an effective way to shorten the heart distance.

There is an ancient couplet that reads: Harmony is a family heirloom in the world, and tolerance is a qi-transforming pill in the world.It means that as long as people can live in harmony with each other, it is the most precious wealth in the world; as long as you follow the word forbearance when you encounter problems, no matter how deep the conflict is, it can be resolved.

The distance is man-made, so shortening the distance between hearts is actually the key to solving the problem.Husband and wife quarreled over trivial matters, and they had to fight over who was right and who was wrong, so why bother!When getting along with others, it is inevitable that there will be frictions of this kind. When some people face conflicts, they often ignore everything and insist on making a dispute. Not good, come and break up, and sometimes even stay away from each other.In fact, it is nothing more than wanting to fight for a result.Think about it: does it really matter?

Psychological distance is the subtle distance between people's hearts, and it is not difficult to grasp the scale between them.No matter how big the conflict is, the ultimate goal is to resolve it reasonably. You can try to slow down your tone, smile, and act rationally. The other party will not be angry when he realizes his mistake.I believe that no one will lose their temper with a person with a kind smile on his face.

The city is too noisy, why bother.The effect of quarrels and anger is merely to add noise to the city.People who are angry may lose their minds and blurt out some ugly words.In this way, it is easy to leave a wound in the heart of the other party.It's like sticking a knife in someone's body and then pulling it out.Even if the wound heals, it will leave a scar.No matter how much you apologize in the future, the wound will always be there.Remember, wounds on the mind are harder to heal than wounds on the body.

It is better to be peacefully tolerant than to quarrel vigorously.Tolerance is the lubricant of interpersonal communication.With tolerance, there will be less disputes between people and more peace; less hostility and more beauty.With tolerance, the world will become a beautiful paradise.

Remember the good of others, forget the bad of others, and you can easily fly freely under the happy and tolerant sky.When a person can really calm down and think, he will find that all the contradictions and misunderstandings are really no big deal.In this world, there is nothing more important than living well.

A smile can solve a thousand worries, no matter who you are, you will encounter many setbacks.Please create a pleasant environment with a smile, and never put on a cold face.As long as you learn to smile often, you will find that you live a better life than others.Learn to be tolerant and understanding, learn to communicate with others, and you will learn to shorten the distance between people's hearts.

Only by shortening the distance between people can we reduce unnecessary troubles and troubles, and life can be better!
Strengths and Weaknesses: Which Door Are You Going In?
[With the rapid economic development today, living conditions are getting better and better, and living standards are getting higher and higher.While the pockets are bulging, what is unexpected is that the "mind" is getting more and more fragile. 】

In essence, strength and weakness are not in wealth, not in status, not in behavior, but in psychology.Weak people, no matter what position they are in, will have two manifestations: toughness in behavior and constant demand to become stronger.They are weak when they are strong, and strong when they are weak.

"Vulnerable" refers to the mentality that people feel that they are in a weak position in social interaction.In today's society, there are not a few people who consider themselves "vulnerable".

Psychologists have discovered that there is no real sense of happiness in the world, the so-called happiness lies in who you compare yourself with.A person who drives a private car will feel happier compared with a person who takes a bus; if compared with a person who drives a luxury sports car, he will feel disappointed.In fact, people's self-evaluation is obtained through social comparison in addition to a small part of self-feeling.

Under the shroud of mirroring culture, people have been accepting various comparisons since childhood. "Look at Ah San next door. He is only 15 years old and has finished his fourth-year university courses." "Look at Huang XX in your class. He goes home by himself every day and never needs his parents to pick him up." "Look at the neighbors. Xiao Li from my family, looking for a girlfriend who is beautiful and can make money."...

Such a comparison runs through everyone's growth.However, everyone is a community of advantages and disadvantages. It is impossible for everyone to overcome the best aspects of others. Therefore, disadvantages must exist. Therefore, after growing up in a subtly reflective culture, comparative values ​​will inevitably arise. idea.

People use social comparison to evaluate themselves and confirm their belonging.However, in real life, unconscious comparisons are often not "downward motives" but "upward motives". It is natural to feel wronged and unwilling to compare one's own weaknesses with the advantages of others.By comparing with the society, most people will feel that their income is not as high as others, their interpersonal channels are not as wide as others, their social knowledge is not as wide as others, their private affairs are not as smart as others, their lives are not as chic as others, and their spirits are more depressed.This mentality more or less affects some people's self-confidence and affects some people's work emotions.So these people have lived in a "tragedy" written and directed by themselves ever since.

Weak people gain a psychological balance in constant comparison with others.Once the balance of comparison is broken, they quickly turn to deny themselves, from self-confidence to low self-esteem, until they develop a lot of negative emotions.They may not hurt others, but they must hurt themselves.

The weak subconsciously despise the weak because they know they are not strong enough.They treat their own shortcomings, or extremely ignore, or extremely make up for.Vulnerable people are not only lacking in self-confidence, but also because they lack understanding of themselves.They seldom think about what they really want, but only pay attention to what everyone wants him to want.Try to win the appreciation of others and gain more social recognition, so that they can be full of self-confidence.

Vulnerable people tend to be negative, pessimistic, and full of insecurity about life.When they face a situation beyond their control, no matter how hard they try, their belief is that they cannot change the outcome of the matter, and they will have a weak psychology.If some people who originally hoped to change their destiny through hard work and struggle suddenly find that personal hard work and struggle will not produce much effect, and then they will believe that the future is uncontrollable, the individual will reduce their self-efficacy and greatly reduce their self-efficacy. motivation for success.

When this kind of people are fighting, they are like a group of mourning soldiers.Easily panic, easily disappointed.Regrettably, such panic and disappointment are often not aimed at the improvement of one's ability and psychological perfection, but because one has not reached the recognized standard.

Liu Ning worked diligently for a year and received a year-end bonus of 3 yuan.Later, I learned that the year-end bonus for other people in the office was only 2000 yuan.Liu Ning couldn't hold back the ecstasy in his heart, and secretly called his wife on his mobile phone: "Honey, don't cook tonight, we will give out bonuses, let's go to the western restaurant you have always wanted to go tonight, and we can go shopping after eating." Go shopping and watch movies, and fall in love again. Hehe!"

Liu Ning worked diligently for a year and received a year-end bonus of 3 yuan.Later, I learned that the year-end bonus of other people in the office was also 3 yuan, and I was a little bit disappointed. When I was about to get off work, Liu Ning sent a text message to his wife: "Don't cook at night, the year-end bonus has been issued, and go to the one next door in the evening Let's eat at the barbecue shop."

Liu Ning worked diligently for a year and received a year-end bonus of 3 yuan.Later, I learned that other people in the office had received 3.5 yuan in year-end bonuses.Liu Ning felt extremely depressed, and felt depressed all day long as if he was pressed against a stone.When I got home from get off work, I saw my wife was cooking and complained. After a long time of persuasion from my wife, Liu Ning finally thought about it: "Hey, chatting is better than nothing." He called his son who was playing on the computer and gave him 100 yuan: "Go , go to the restaurant to buy two appetizers and come back."

Liu Ning worked diligently for a year and received a year-end bonus of 3 yuan.Later, I learned that other people in the office had received 5 yuan in year-end bonuses.When Liu Ning heard this, his lungs were about to explode, so he rushed to the manager's office and argued for a long time.He suppressed his anger and held it all day in the office.When I got home, I sulked without saying a word. I saw my son playing with the computer, he laughed and laughed, and suddenly lost his temper: "You worthless thing, you have an exam, and you don't go to review your homework!"

The same number of year-end awards, in different environments, gives people completely different feelings.This is a gradual change in psychology from strong to weak. The change in his self-perception is not because of the number of his year-end bonus itself, but because of how much he is better than others.

Many people may find this story ironic and ridiculous, but it is the truest epitome of each of us.Moreover, even if he understands this truth, it is still difficult to get out of the same emotions as Liu Ning.

Many people suffer, in many cases, not because of how unfortunate they are, but because they are more unfortunate than others.This kind of unnecessary happiness and misfortune not only wastes one's energy and feelings, but also makes oneself humble and insignificant.

There is an old saying: "Man is a sword, I am a fish." As soon as this phrase is exhaled, there is a very strong mentality of being weak.When you identify yourself as a "fish", you have already identified yourself as the target of slaughter, so naturally "fish" absolutely lacks the ability to control the development of the situation in front of "Daozu", and can only become a weak person.Therefore, the helpless sense of being deprived often leads to a strong unfair mentality due to the large income gap.The helplessness and anger caused by social competition can also be intensified.

The opposite of weak psychology is strong psychology.

Psychologically strong people are not perfect people either, they may be of low status, they may be a little lazy, and they may not be smart.Strong people have great wisdom.

Strength is an optimistic and positive attitude.

Really strong people can live out their own standards, they will not worry about gains and losses because of other people's evaluation, and they will not change themselves because of secular views.They don't deliberately please others, and they don't secretly calculate others.They have who they really are, which is their greatest asset.A strong person's heart must be peaceful, optimistic, and warm.

Peace, optimism, and warmth are a powerful force.

The appearance of strong people is very different, but they all have strong self-confidence.This confidence comes from knowing and trusting yourself.Whether they are with those who are higher than themselves or those who are inferior to them, they are neither shy nor arrogant.They know their uniqueness and their ordinaryness, and they can always find the point where they are neither humble nor overbearing, and calm and at ease.

They don't care too much about worldly evaluations, but that doesn't mean they are cynical.They are often engaged in the world, but not necessarily trapped by the fascination of the world.They know the beauty of life and the hardships of life.No matter how life treats him, he can complete his own redemption.

The struggle of strong people is optimistic.In this process, they pay attention to themselves as always, and make themselves gradually approach the goal.Faith comes from pride and self-confidence. When the embankment of self-confidence collapses, a person cannot stand up straight.

Maybe some people are born strong, but more people may be both strong and weak.And weak people will also become strong if they realize themselves, cultivate their minds and grow their minds.This process is called maturation.Mature, but not worldly.

Affirmation: "It can be done"

and "maybe"

[A person's behavior has always been related to his way of thinking. 】

When we are in the world, we must know how to advance and retreat, take a step back at the right time, leave a retreat for ourselves, and maintain a bit of character.Only in this way, in the communication between people, can advance and retreat orderly, with ease.And if you want to learn to have such a mature "style", everyone should value themselves, and before others affirm you, you must first affirm yourself!

Life is a series of continuous transcendence, and in this transcendence, we must create a personal style and affirm that we are an indispensable existence in the world.

Only those who transcend their innate conditions and create their own personal style can display the greatest light of life and affirm their own existence.It is very important to affirm your own existence in dealing with people.Only in this way can we move forward bravely in interpersonal communication without losing ourselves.

"Selfishness" is not good, but "self-reliance" is especially necessary.

Independence is the first step for a person to enter a career. If this step is not taken well, the road ahead may be more difficult.In addition to how to deal with problems independently and how to open up the work situation independently, it also includes how to independently improve the relationship between superiors and subordinates and colleagues.

In the American countryside, a 15-year-old boy from a poor family wrote the incredible "Lifetime Volunteer" under the dim light: "I want to explore the Nile, Amazon and Congo Rivers; I want to climb Mount Everest, Kilimanjaro, etc." Mount McKinley; ride elephants, camels, ostriches, and wild horses; retrace the paths of Marco Polo and Alexander I; star in a movie like Tarzan; take off and land a flying machine; read Shakespeare, The writings of Plato and Aristotle; composing a piece of music; writing a book; owning a patent for an invention; raising a million dollars for the very children..."

He let go of the wings of his dreams and listed 127 grand aspirations in his life in one breath.His heart was throbbing with excitement from his grand purpose.From then on, following the call of his soul, he started the long journey of turning his dreams into reality. 44 years later, he finally realized the 106 wishes in "Lifetime Volunteer"... He is the famous explorer John Goddard in the 20th century.He amazingly accomplished the "impossible" in people's eyes, which amazed the world.

When someone asked him in amazement what kind of power he used to step on so many destined "impossibles", he smiled and replied: "It's very simple, I just let my heart reach that place first, and then my whole body is full of energy." With a magical power, then, just follow the calling of the heart."

In fact, the belief of "I can do it" and "I can" is the embodiment of self-efficacy. Self-efficacy refers to the individual's own feelings about self-related abilities to a large extent, and also refers to people's self-realization of certain goals. Confidence or belief in the capabilities required for domain behavioral goals, simply put, is an individual's belief in their ability to achieve success.

A person's way of behavior has always been associated with his way of thinking.

A person with negative thinking often dare not ask for it, so he gets little.When confronted with new ideas, their reactions tend to be:
"I definitely can't."

"I won't take that risk!"

"Absolutely not!"

"It's not something we can do."

In fact, what people believe will be the result, what kind of result is possible.Man cannot achieve what he himself does not wish to achieve.If a person does not believe in what he can achieve, he will not strive for it.When a negative thinker doesn't expect much from himself, he caps off his ability to succeed with a bang.He becomes the worst enemy of his own potential.As King Solomon pointed out: "A man is so as his heart thinks."

Throughout the entire voyage of life, negative thinkers get seasick along the way.Regardless of the current situation, they are always disappointed in the future.In the eyes of negative thinkers, the glass is never half full, but half empty.They expected the worst things in life and got them.

Liu Yong once pointed out: "We dare not face the future because we lack confidence. If you no longer seek to win and have no confidence in the beginning, who can trust you?"

(End of this chapter)