the gravity of the rainbow
Chapter 14 Academics and Love
Chapter 14 Academics and Love
01
After returning from Eagle Eye Peak, Rainbow did not go to school for two whole weeks.
Firstly, it was because she deliberately avoided Ji Huang; secondly, the thesis that Ji Huang helped her correct finally got an echo.The threshold for core publications is high, and the paper has been published for a long time, and it almost feels like there is no hope, so the editor in charge sent an email belatedly, expressing consideration for adoption, and at the same time put forward five revisions.Rainbow has always positioned herself as a career-oriented woman, not to mention being immersed in academics at this time gave her distracted mind a necessary distraction.As a result, she shut herself in a small black room and worked hard to revise the manuscript for seven days. After sending it out, she was returned and asked to continue to revise and increase the length.I went to the provincial library to check the materials for two days, and spent another four days polishing the text and checking the citations. After sending it away again, the editor-in-chief emailed me to express my agreement to accept it.
This is her first thesis after she joined the work, and it was accepted by a first-level journal. Although she revised it more than a dozen times, it didn’t look like she wrote it at the end, but she thought it was worth it, because the revision of the thesis It is also a process of thinking reborn.
On Monday of the third week, there was a regular meeting in the department. She didn't see Ji Huang, and she was too embarrassed to ask. The door was locked when she passed his office several times.
Maybe a teacher temporarily asked him to substitute for a class, maybe his mother has been admitted to the hospital and needs to be taken care of... After thinking about it, I still worry about him.Ji Huang, like Dong Lin, belongs to the kind of person who plans everything, is very punctual, and has good professional habits.There will be no activities without him, and you can't find him for activities you don't need.This Monday's regular meeting, the department expressly stipulated that all teachers must be there, but he was absent.
Ji Huang has classes on Tuesday afternoon, and usually comes to the office half an hour in advance to prepare lessons.Rainbow pretended to go to the hot water room to fetch water, and glanced at his office, but there was no movement.Unexpectedly, at the stairs, I ran into Teacher Liu Peijuan, who was in the same teaching and research room as Ji Huang. She had taught her Marxist-Leninist Literature Theory before, so she asked casually, "Mr. Liu, have you seen Teacher Ji recently?"
"Oh, you don't know? He's sick."
"Really?" Rainbow's heart beat heavily, "What's wrong?"
"Acute gastric bleeding." Liu Peijuan said, "I suddenly vomited blood and passed out during class last Friday. I was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. The department head and secretary all followed me."
Her face turned pale all of a sudden, as if it wasn't him vomiting blood but her own blood had been drained, and she was so anxious that she stared at her for a moment.I remember that one year, a lump was found on Li Mingzhu's chest, which was suspected to be breast cancer, but it was later found out that it was benign.When Rainbow heard about it, it was like a blow to the head, and it almost collapsed.
Liu Peijuan was still babbling: "...I heard that there was a lot of bleeding, but fortunately the rescue was timely. After all, it is a young man. The doctor said that he is fine." After finishing speaking, he sighed again, "Oh, you bachelors Well, you can’t live without your parents, and your diet is completely out of order... Of course, it may also be because of his mother’s sudden death and excessive grief—”
She was shocked: "His mother... died?"
"Yes, what happened last week. He kept saying that he was seriously ill and that he was going to be sent here for surgery, but unfortunately he didn't have time. Zhongbi called suddenly, and he went back to take care of the funeral that day. The teaching and research team because of Two professors left for an international seminar, and he was asked to substitute for the class all the time, and there was no delay in catching up with the final exam, and he hurried back after the matter was over."
Rainbow quickly asked, "Which hospital is he staying in now?"
"Which one else could it be? Our counterpart is the People's Hospital."
She started to leave, but was grabbed by Liu Peijuan: "Don't worry, I haven't finished yet."
She had to stop.
"Teacher Ji has resigned," Liu Peijuan said, "I just heard about it. The job was handed over at the end of this month, and the department head did his job for half a day, but he didn't keep him. I just asked Teacher Guan and me to arrange how to support him in the next semester." class."
Rainbow grabbed her tightly, eyes widened, and 1 people couldn't believe it and asked, "Why?"
"I don't know." Realizing her excitement, Liu Peijuan was a little surprised, "How many of Su Shaobai's students are not strange? Back then, Xu Zhidong from the Chinese Department of C University—a well-known full professor—envied the teaching conditions here. Well, the research ability is strong, so I have to rack my brains to transfer here. Secretary Chen didn’t nod, but went north to snatch Ji Huang, who just graduated. After working for one year, he was suspended and left, and the theoretical teaching and research section was immediately in disarray. Tell me, next year, two professors in our group will go abroad for study visits. How will the classes be arranged? To be honest, I had objections when I chose him— - Learning is nothing to say, I am also very convinced - but young people are very aggressive and emotional, if something happens, they will cry, make trouble and hang themselves. It is not as safe as those middle-aged teachers who have a family and a family. Scientific research ability is very important , but the teaching task must be completed first! Look at He Xiaogang back then, he was really high-spirited and high-spirited, such a talented person, but he couldn't think about it and just went like this... You don't blame Teacher Guan, she must have some responsibility as a tutor, right? Either there was a mistake in the leadership or the ideological work did not keep up, if it was me..."
This is what Liu Peijuan complains about the most.Back then, she and Guan Ye almost broke their heads in the fight to be He Xiaogang's master's supervisor. It was heard that she was full of praise for He Xiaogang's thesis, and she never forgot to buy the latest theoretical books for him when he went abroad to study.This is the case in colleges and universities, good tutors are robbed by students, and good student tutors are also robbed.
Seeing her talking endlessly, Rainbow was a little impatient and had to interrupt: "Mr. Liu, forgive me for not being with me for a long time. Teacher Ji is my instructor, and I have to hurry up to see him."
After all, I asked her for the ward number and took a taxi directly to the hospital.
Faculty members of University F enjoy the best medical insurance in the city. If they work in this university, if they don’t pay for their salary, bonus or housing, they have to fight for this medical insurance and retirement benefits.Rainbow went straight to the inpatient department on the third floor and found Ji Huang's ward, but found that the bed was empty. In desperation, he grabbed a nurse to inquire and found out that he had gone to the activity room.
Seeing all the visiting people either carrying a basket of fruit or a large bouquet of flowers, she remembered that she was in a hurry and didn't buy anything.She hesitated whether to go to the canteen downstairs to buy some fruit, and felt that there was no need to be so polite with Ji Huang.
"It's sunny there, there's a sofa, and he likes to read there." The nurse said, "I dragged the IV rack over there too."
The long corridor was filled with the smell of disinfectant.Rainbow has an impression of this place because she has had hepatitis A once, and Li Mingzhu and He Dalu were in a hurry.The doctor used a kind of medicine in her drip, and for some reason, her body reacted violently. Rainbow was crying in bed, and Li Mingzhu was crying beside her. She was so anxious that she almost killed the doctor.After a long time, she still missed this happy time, and she could drink the perch soup stewed by her mother every day.
The activity room was not big, and there were no other people there. The TV was empty with the news, and the sun just hit a set of green sofas by the window. Ji Huang was sitting there reading a book.
I haven't seen him for two weeks, his face has become sunken, his chin has become sharper, and for some reason he has shaved his head again, as if his upper body is also a size smaller.The shirt was clean, but the collar was wrinkled, and a neck was exposed alone.The half-folded sleeve exposed a section of arm, thick and covered with scars.It was splashed with oil while working, and she once kissed them lightly.His tarnished tanned skin was an unhealthy black, rough as sandpaper.It was the first time she discovered that Ji Huang was actually very dark—the appearance of a miner when he came out of the mine, and he would never be recognized when he was sent into the coal mine.
She couldn't help but think of the last chapter of "Outside the Window", Jiang Yanrong went to see Kang Nan.Ji Huang is not as thin and dirty as Kang Nan, who smokes and drinks, is old and confused, but his decadent appearance is similar.Is it true that as Qiong Yao said, fantasy love is much more beautiful than reality?Maybe she doesn't know Ji Huang, his life experience, family, or his parents and brothers.Ji Huang is just an ideal in her heart, a phantom of the soul.Maybe when she realizes this, she will lose the courage to face all the truth about this man like Jiang Yanrong did.Maybe... She just doesn't want to live a life of three thatched huts, a cup of tea, and aloofness like Kang Nan.
So, was her choice right or wrong?Or is her life experience just an excuse for her to escape?
Aware of her appearance, Ji Huang closed the book and raised his head.
"Hi." Rainbow felt his voice trembling, "I'm sorry, I'm busy with a paper these days, and I just heard that you were hospitalized."
He glanced at her and said nothing.
"Are you... better?" she asked again.
"What's wrong with me?" he asked.
Just this hard, cold tone, saying it's okay to get out, put Rainbow's melancholy and tenderness straight into the cold palace.
She had no choice but to go straight to the topic: "I heard that you want to resign?"
He nodded.
"why?"
He refused to answer.
"Please answer me."
Still silent.
She took two steps forward, stared firmly into his eyes, and said word by word: "Is it because of me? I would rather not have your future in order to avoid me?"
"Because of you?" He snorted, "Teacher He, ask yourself, do you have such a strong influence?"
"Why is that? Because you hate this city, or because you don't like this school? Do you know how long you have struggled and suffered so much to come to this developed city from a distant mine? Your career has just started, as long as you work hard, Everything you need! If my aunt was alive, would she be willing to see you abandon yourself like this?"
"Even if I give up on myself," he lowered his head, and the shadow fell on her face, "what does it matter to you?"
"Of course it's none of my business! It's all about me!"
"What does that have to do with you?" he asked back.
She froze for a moment, then became dumb.
"All the relationship between me and you is over, I don't want to have any relationship with you anymore. My decision has nothing to do with you." His tone was very light, and his expression was even lighter, "Please treat me as a passerby. "
It was a very unfriendly standoff between them.She knew that she rejected him, and he was always arrogant, so he would definitely mind.But he didn't expect him to be so narrow-minded, to hate her for this.
"OK, you can hate me." She tried to soften her tone, "You can hate me however you want. But please don't be so impulsive, please act according to common sense: you are a man, your career is your foundation, this university It is the best base to guarantee your success. Impulsiveness cannot solve the problem, but the consequences are unimaginable!"
"Common sense? I know your common sense," he sneered quietly. "Your common sense is nothing but security and comfort, right?"
"This is not my common sense!" She said in embarrassment, "I just...can't choose, I..."
She wanted to say, do you know, I was not born to my mother, and my mother has been kind to me in nurturing me, so I can't just go against her wish and marry you.After thinking about it, this reason is not valid. Which mother in the world does not have the grace to raise her daughter?Do we need to divide into two categories: biological and non-natural?What's more, her life experience is just a guess and there is no conclusion yet, so she can only choose not to mention it.
"Okay, Mr. He, we've finished what we have to say. You can't hurt me anymore." He interrupted her unceremoniously, then stretched out his hand and pinched her face with cold fingers , said almost maliciously, "Do you know why you came to me?"
"me……"
That's because I care about you, I love you, and I feel sorry for you... Rainbow cried out in despair in her heart.
"You're smarter than everyone else, armed with theories, but in essence you're no different from the people you hate around you. You're violating the philosophy you advocate: you can't act, you can't choose, and you don't dare to suffer the consequences , your so-called common sense is nothing but the pressure of the world. And this pressure, for a theoretical person like you, can be resisted. Since you choose to give up, I have nothing to say. But you don't have to feel wronged , let alone come to tell me that this is a helpless act. No one can make you helpless, except yourself! If I had believed in helplessness like you since I was a child, I would not be where I am today! Why, are you afraid that I don’t like you? Teacher He, let me tell you clearly: Yes, I just don't like you!"
For a moment she was outraged, more than outraged by her misunderstood mind.She said angrily: "Ha! Who do you think you are? God? Why do you criticize me? Oh, rejecting you is secular, accepting you is noble, you are the moral standard? Also, am I wronged? Why am I wronged? Ji Huang, I do my best to you and have a clear conscience! I don’t want anything from you. I even stole the most expensive things in my house to help you treat my mother’s illness. My mother did something wrong on her birthday. But my mother is my mother, I am me, I have already apologized to you! I asked you to give me some time, is this a very extravagant request? Do you have to make a bet with my mother?... I’m afraid You don't like me? A joke! What do you think I am? A concubine competing for favor? From a worldly point of view, what do you like about me? Do you think you are Cui Jian? Do you think I am a girl from the village called Xiao Fang? Do you think that if you sing "Nothing" with your guitar, I will go with you? Ji Huang, I admired you very much at first, but your performance today disappointed me. I don't know what attitude you have towards me. Care about, but you are so naive and impulsive about your own future, and you are full of talent to go against the grain, you can't do any big business just because of this!"
Except for Li Mingzhu, Rainbow has never been afraid of quarrels. She has always been eloquent and courageous in battles. In class, she takes pleasure in asking the teacher down. She was once the best debater on campus. Otherwise, Guan Ye would not let her stand in the way if there was trouble.
"Why, do you hate that iron can't be made into steel?" He spoke slowly, "I have never been the piece of iron in your heart, and I can't be tempered into the piece of steel you want. Now that everything is over, don't be with me. It’s a waste of time, save your excess sympathy for the children who are out of school in the mountainous areas.”
"My mother is right," she was really angry, "You really are narrow-minded and impulsive! It's a good thing I wasn't with you, otherwise I would have been brainwashed by you and turned into a rural little daughter-in-law!"
"Do you still use me to wash your brain? Mr. He, aren't you afraid that your urban petty bourgeois class identity will be ruthlessly exposed?"
"Exposure? What's wrong with exposure? Do you think that by reading two more books, you can despise the decisiveness of the economic base over the superstructure? You can deconstruct the subconsciousness of others towards you? The world will not change for you, you can live in fantasy , but please respect those who are more willing to face reality than you!"
"For example, you, right? I am your reality, the hurdle you need to overcome and face, and you don't enjoy other pleasures besides the thin material and cold reality when you are with me, that's it ?"
She took a few breaths, and immediately shouted: "Yes! That's it!"
He grabbed her tightly and pulled her body towards him. Between them, they were almost face to face.Rainbow felt a chill, and the blade-like gaze swept over, digging a hole in her heart, and all the tenderness and romance between them leaked out of this hole in an instant.
"If that's the case, then why did you come to me?" he said, "you came here to scold me?"
"Slap", she slapped him backhandedly, and roared, "You are so sick and confused that your brain is short-circuited like this? No wonder Einstein said that there are only two things in this world that are infinite, one is the vast universe, and the other is infinite." It's human stupidity!"
He didn't listen to her anymore, he yanked the drip stand, and ignored the clinking of the glass bottles hanging above, and strode past her, creating a cloud of messy air, together with the smell of medicine from his body, Without looking back, he disappeared into the corridor.
"Ji Huang——" She stomped her feet angrily at his back: "Okay! You go! You dig coal! You go farming! You go begging! Do what you like, ghosts don't bother to care about you!"
From then on, they stopped talking and did not say hello when they met.
This kind of life is really tormenting for Rainbow. The relationship between the two of them went from the peak to the bottom like a roller coaster during the sweet and gluey love period, and there were also Li Mingzhu's swearing, He Dalu's long and short sighs, and the relationship between them. Teacher Li's watching and Han Qing's emotional analysis mixed with remorse and resentment, concluded that the two sisters made the same aesthetic mistake: Ji Huang is beautiful on the outside, but he is actually Xia Feng's second.It made Rainbow hate him when he saw him, and feel uncomfortable when he didn't see him, and he still had countless grievances in his heart.
In fact, she didn't meet Ji Huang seriously a few times this month. When they arrived at the regular meeting, the two of them consciously sat in two corners, one east and one west; Ji Huang has already handed in the changes.She didn't bother to question the theory, and she felt a fire in her heart.Except for the fight for her mentor and senior brother, Rainbow has never had such a big grudge against anyone in her life.
At the end of the month, before the summer vacation, Ji Huang really resigned.I heard that in order to keep him, the secretary called and begged Su Shaobai to be a lobbyist.The teacher called the student for an hour but nothing came through.
Rainbow went to ask Guan Ye. Guan Ye said that he had persuaded him many times, but he was powerless and said: "I heard that his mother's death will hit the two younger brothers very hard. They will be in the second year of high school next year, and they have always been the best students in that high school. Ji Huang is worried about them. I couldn’t get into university, so I wanted to change jobs, which would be closer to their school, so it would be easier to take care of them.”
Rainbow expressed puzzlement and asked: "Second year in high school? That's almost seventeen, right? Can't you take care of yourself?"
"It's true... one of the younger brothers was more irritated. He ran away from home for a few days and finally got back. His mental state is not good. The four of them, mother and son, depend on each other for life, and they have a deep relationship."
The situation was more complicated than she imagined. Rainbow didn't speak for a long time, and finally asked: "Then where did he go? He won't be unemployed, right?"
"He went to Zhongbi Coal Teachers College."
"What?" Rainbow felt his scalp explode, "Coal Teachers College? Does Coal Teachers College have a Chinese department?"
"Yes, this college is not small and is expanding."
"Damn!" Caihong couldn't help but want to curse, "Waste of resources! My brain is flooded!"
"He said that he misses his hometown and is willing to contribute to the education of the mining area." After Guan Ye finished speaking, he threw her a key, "His office is vacant—I took the opportunity to tell the secretary about your difficulties, take it! The office of your dreams is here."
"Mr. Guan, can you persuade him again?" She couldn't help begging.
"You should care more about your studies." Guan Ye lit a cigarette, "What about the thesis I want you to correct? One He Xiaogang was abolished, and one Ji Huang was abolished. If you want to abolish it too, look at me. Without strangling you first!"
02
After Ji Huang left, Rainbow did not live like the lovelorn heroine in the [-] o'clock TV series. She felt that the biggest difference between herself and those people was that she had undergone rigorous theoretical training. The mountain was as high as the sun, and love was as high as But career, there is no need to stop the yearning for life and the pursuit of career because of a setback.Of course, she didn't have any particularly happy moments, and followed the wheel of time to return to her daily life in a daze. As long as she followed the rules, life would be easy, at least mentally, there would be no pressure.
Rainbow doesn't miss Ji Huang very much, she only blames herself for not slapping him awake.Even if you don't love him, as a colleague, you will feel very sorry to see talented people make unwise choices.Rainbow once thought that with Ji Huang, although he would not be as rich and powerful as Dong Lin, it would be a perfect blueprint to study happily, study and educate people, and live in this vibrant campus for the rest of his life.Now that Ji Huang is gone, but the blueprint is still there, all she has to do is to find someone to fill in it, not to say that the earth would not turn without Ji Huang.
She started throwing herself into her career and keeping herself very busy.On-the-job study requires taking courses, writing a thesis, co-writing a monograph with another teacher, and cooperating with the teaching and research section to compile textbooks, none of which is easy.Most importantly, because of Ji Huang's absence, the department ordered her to take an undergraduate course he taught - Structuralism and Post-Structuralism.She had to bite the bullet and prepare lessons, and was forced to read a lot of theoretical books that she had never understood.
Born and raised for more than 20 years, Caihong has a stronger social network than outsiders in City F. Specifically, he can always find entertainment when he is in a bad mood.Urban life is rich and colorful. Today is a classmate reunion, tomorrow is a friend’s birthday, the day after tomorrow is a colleague’s wedding, and the day after tomorrow Guo Lili comes to meet for coffee or Donglin to go on an outing. As long as she nods, free time will be filled immediately. There is no time to indulge in the past , Sad spring and autumn?She had no time to think of Ji Huang who was teaching at a certain coal teachers' college in a certain county a hundred miles away.Similarly, Ji Huang will soon become so-and-so, so-and-so, and after a certain year, maybe even the name is unclear.
Even if I thought of him in the dead of night, the scene of the quarrel in the hospital that day flashed into my mind the fastest, the arrogant demeanor, the falcon's gaze, the harsh sarcasm, and those unfeeling words: "I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. "
Ji Huang, Ji Huang, what can I do to you?Don't care about your background, don't care about your salary, don't ask if you have a car or a house, just give you the purest heart of a girl with such negotiability!You still say this to me!Thinking of this, she closed her eyes and fell asleep while gnashing her teeth.
When Ji Huang was away, Rainbow naturally got together with Han Qing again.Although Han Qing worked hard, he couldn't let his best friend lose love.After work, I had dinner and took Duoduo for a walk, and the car turned a few turns and arrived at Rainbow's house.The two made an appointment to go to McDonald's to eat ice cream, and watched Duoduo playing barefoot with a group of children in the children's playground.Just chat for an hour or two before driving home.Han Qing said that Ji Huang and Xia Feng have many similarities: they are both children who grew up in the countryside. Suspicious temperament, easily overwhelmed by life changes.
"Don't be too sad, breaking up is not necessarily a bad thing," Han Qing said, "At least you won't wait until you get married to know the whole truth about a person like me. However, Xia Feng is still better than Ji Huang, at least he can tell the difference Li Li, no matter what, I will not resign in anger, and fight all the way to enter the city, and stay in the city even if I beg for food."
Rainbow says that's exactly what she can't figure out.
Han Qing said again: "Why didn't you tell him your life experience? Maybe he will understand your difficulties."
"I dare not say... so far, it is just a guess," Rainbow was silent for a while, "I'm afraid it will become true once I say it."
To be honest, as Ji Huang's colleague, it is not difficult to find his trace.For example, he did not stop his research during the half a year after leaving F city, and published two papers in academic journals one after another.Except for the six words "Zhongbi Coal Teachers College" which made her feel puzzled - I have to admit - the paper maintained his usual high standard and was quickly reprinted by important publications.For example, the magazines and various letters he ordered were still sent to the department in a steady stream, and they were re-posted by Rainbow again and again according to the new address.Another example is that there are always people looking for him for meetings or lectures, and even juniors who want to follow him when they are looking for a job. When they call the office, she has to explain again and again that Ji Huang has been transferred and she does not know the new contact number. .
Whenever she felt that she had forgotten this man, one or two things popped up and brought her back to him.
There was a regular meeting in the department three days ago. Out of boredom, Rainbow casually opened a journal, and suddenly discovered that Ji Huang's alma mater, S University, would hold an academic seminar on "Deconstruction Criticism and Practice" at the end of this month.She happened to have a dissertation on this topic in hand. She wrote the first draft and revised it once. She was not satisfied after reading it, so she put it in the drawer.That night, I searched for conference information on the Internet, and saw Ji Huang's name suddenly listed in the abstracts of more than [-] papers uploaded one after another.
She was suddenly excited, and the blood rushed to the top of her head.
The next day, she spent the whole day condensing her thesis into a [-]-word abstract. She was afraid that it would not be good enough, so she pestered Guan Ye to discuss it repeatedly.It was a fairly high-end academic seminar, and she was very picky about the papers attended. She revised them until the early morning and submitted them in the last hour of the deadline.
A week later, Caihong received a formal invitation to the meeting, and unexpectedly found that he and Ji Huang were arranged to read a paper in the same group.For some reason, she was pleasantly surprised.
Next, Rainbow spent a full 20 days revising the thesis, sleeping only five hours a day, striving for the best in every detail, every argument, and every point of view.When she revised to the final draft, she was quite satisfied with the reading, and for the first time in her life, she felt that she had taken a step towards a genius.
Not only Caihong, but even Guan Ye praised it, and even persuaded her to expand this topic and make it into her doctoral dissertation.
"So far, this is the best paper I have seen written by you." Guan Ye said, "It has both speculative discussion and original analysis. Work hard, Rainbow, you are in this line Very promising!"
"Hey!" She was encouraged.
"Where did you get your inspiration from?"
She made a face, embarrassed to answer.
Guan Ye took a sip of coffee and lit a cigarette on his finger: "Then, greet Ji Huang for me."
"Is Ji Huang going too?" She asked knowingly.
"I heard it is."
She left and exited Guan Ye's office. Before leaving, Guan Ye suddenly said, "Rainbow, academics are academics, and love is love. I hope you don't confuse the two, let alone put the cart before the horse."
"Don't worry, my love has died, and everything is academic now." She denied.
"Bad Faith." Guan Ye chuckled, and blew a round smoke ring out the window.
The day before the meeting was a cold and sunny day. Rainbow got off the train and waited in line for more than half an hour for a taxi at the station before finding the university hotel where the meeting was arranged.After paying the membership fee, receiving the badge and materials, the staff handed her a stack of conference papers.
"Excuse me, is Mr. Ji Huang from Zhongbi Coal Teachers College here?" she asked while filling out the form during registration.
"What college?" Hearing the name of the school, the staff was taken aback, thinking she had come to the wrong place.
"Zhongbi Coal Teachers College."
"This one's going to be in the Faculty of Letters."
"Check it out, he should be on your list."
The staff checked and nodded: "Yes, but Teacher Ji hasn't reported yet."
"Which train did he take?"
"I don't know, we don't arrange to pick up the car... Teacher Ji will report tomorrow afternoon, and maybe he won't be there until tomorrow morning."
"Oh. Then... what is his room number?"
"207."
"Thank you."
It was still early for dinner, and she did not take advantage of the opportunity to exchange ideas, connect with each other, and exchange business cards like her peers.Walking out of the hotel alone, she went to the Faculty of Arts of S University.
It is a century-old building in a century-old school, with Western style and marble steps, graceful and elegant, and the students walking out of it all have a hint of rebellion in their eyes.She secretly thought, only such a university can nurture students like Ji Huang, right?I haven't seen him for half a year and I don't know if he has changed, has he grown thinner or fatter, has turned black or white, is he still so aggressive when speaking?Is the demeanor still so serious?Thinking of this, many expectations surged in my heart. After all, she once occupied this man's heart and had his warmest and softest time. She was luckier than other women who had dealt with him.Even the glaring and swearing at the hospital was not as memorable as before. After all, he was a patient, and his mother had just passed away. After all, this kind of outburst was the only time they had been together for so long. Who can lose their temper?
Passing by a hair salon, she went in to wash her hair and have a brand new hairstyle.In the end, when I looked in the mirror, I found that she was too upright, too much like a woman in the Republic of China period. When I returned to the hotel, I washed it again and tied it into a ponytail that Ji Huang is most familiar with.
Ji Huang once said that she likes to see her wearing purple clothes. She prepared two pieces, but felt that they were too deliberate, so she changed them again, only wearing a purple scarf.
After dressing up in front of the mirror for a long time, with piles of clothes piled up on the bed, she realized that her face had been flushed from the moment she got off the train, burning hot, and her heart was beating fast, as if she had something on her mind.In order to keep calm, she drank a can of iced Coke, and then went to the restaurant with other teachers.The dinner was treated by the host, and there were not as many guests as she had imagined.She looked around during the dinner, but Ji Huang didn't come.
Perhaps, as the staff said, he will arrive at the meeting tomorrow morning.So I went upstairs a little frustrated, and knocked on the door of 207 without giving up. The middle-aged teacher opened the door.
"Excuse me—does Teacher Ji Huang live in this room?" She asked cautiously.
"I don't know," the middle-aged teacher was very enthusiastic, "I have an empty bed here, maybe he hasn't arrived yet. Are you—"
"I'm He Caihong, from the Modern and Contemporary Teaching and Research Office of F University."
"Yo! He Caihong, you wrote Zhang Ailing's View of Time and Space, right? I like that article very much! By the way, let me introduce myself, I am Zhang Haochang, Department of Chinese, S Normal University. I also engage in modern literature."
"Remember, you wrote a book called "A Study of the Mandarin Duck and Butterfly School", right?"
"It's a clumsy book."
"That's the reference book for my postgraduate entrance examination, Mr. Zhang, it's a pleasure to meet you!"
"I am very interested in female writers in the Republic of China period! Xiao Hong, Lu Yin, Zhang Ailing, and Shi Pingmei all like them. Teacher He, please sit down, let's have a good chat!"
The hospitality was hard to come by, so she had to chat with this teacher Zhang about Xiao Hong and Lu Yin all night.
It was past eleven o'clock when we got back to our room.Rainbow lay on the bed, opened a video on the phone, and watched it repeatedly.
The quality of the footage was not good, with the image shaking a lot due to the lens being attached to the balloon.But Rainbow felt that he had recorded Ji Huang's brightest smile.
She admired it over and over again, and saw that the camera was getting farther and farther away from her, and Ji Huang's arms were around her waist.She saw herself raising her face and tiptoeing to the camera and said loudly: "Ji Huang, I love you!...Say it, Ji Huang, come and confess..." Then they made faces at the camera together, and Ji Huang's voice gradually faded away. It was too small to distinguish, but she could still hear it: "...there is no wind, it is rising in a straight line, like a spaceship leaving the earth... not only can it shine on us, but it can also shine on this whole city..."
so what?She sighed heavily, the whole city couldn't accommodate them.
The next day, Caihong got up early and went to the lobby on the first floor to have breakfast, and took the opportunity to see if Ji Huang had come.
still none.
She cursed bitterly in her heart: Ji Huang, Ji Huang, you are not the prime minister who manages everything every day, do you need to be so careful about time?Will people die if they come half a day early?
This depressed mood lasted until the paper was read out. The conference room was very small, and there were not many audiences. There were no more than 20 people sitting there, and Ji Huang didn't show up.If he arrives, he will sit next to her, because he is next.
She knew that her thesis was well written, and the PPT was also well done, but she knew that all of these were for Ji Huang to read.As a result, Ji Huang's delay in coming made her nervous and absent-minded, and she couldn't help but stop for a second in the middle of reading the thesis to look into the crowd.Afraid of delaying the progress, she read the speech very quickly. The 15-minute report was finished in [-] minutes, and the audience took advantage of the opportunity to ask questions frequently.At the end of the question and answer, the host said slowly: "The next speaker was Mr. Ji Huang from Zhongbi Coal Teachers College. He called just now to say that his train schedule today is temporary because the mudslide damaged the railway. It was canceled, so I can’t attend the meeting. Now let’s welcome Professor Jiang Ji’an from H University to introduce the translation of Derrida’s works in China…”
As soon as I got home, Caihong pulled Han Qing out to complain: "Oh, this year is really troublesome. I rushed to catch up with a high-quality paper and wanted to meet Ji Huang, but he didn't come. Tell me, will he come?" Is it because I found out that I didn't come on purpose?"
"It's been more than half a year since he left. Why do you keep mentioning him? Isn't this a distraction?" Han Qing said.
"How can I forget it in a short time?" Rainbow was extremely frustrated, "It's also my first love after all."
"Then you have a falling out with your mother and run to find him." Han Qing ordered her a cup of iced red bean soup, "Make cooked rice with raw rice. The old man will recognize it sooner or later."
"She doesn't like Ji Huang so much, she is going to fight me for life... My mother is poor, she was born in that kind of family, and she hasn't enjoyed a good life since the 'Cultural Revolution'. I feel that I have an obligation to let her live a good life Rainbow sighed repeatedly, "Besides, I am increasingly suspicious that I am not her own. Last month I went to Aunt Cai's house - Aunt Cai is my mother's colleague - and I found a picture of me born in her. A photo of her and my mother that year. My mother's belly is not big at all, and I was born a month later... Tell me, is this a solid proof?"
Regarding her life experience, Rainbow only talked with Han Qing alone, and told her various details and her own suspicions.The two have also discussed the possibility of this matter countless times.
"Do you really want to know the answer?" Han Qing said suddenly.
Seeing her serious expression, Rainbow nodded: "Of course! I just don't want to make a big noise. If my mother finds out that I'm looking into this matter, she'll have to kill me."
"I checked it for you." Han Qing said.
Rainbow's heart sank suddenly: "You? Did you check it for me?"
"Yes." Han Qing took a deep breath, "I know you really want to know the answer, and I also know you don't have the courage to look it up, so I'll help you look it up."
"Did you find out?"
"Yes." Han Qing said, "it happened in the last two months. If you want to hear it, I'll tell you; if you don't want to hear it, I won't tell it. Let this secret follow me to the grave."
"Wait," Rainbow looked at Han Qing, "Han Qing, you have changed!"
In my impression, Han Qing seldom has a decisive moment, and he can't make a decision for half a month.In my impression, Han Qing has no secrets, and she always discusses with Rainbow when she has any concerns. She is good at analyzing, and she is good at analyzing others, but she always comes up with negative opinions when it is her turn.It's definitely not her style to do something at the risk of being scolded by friends.What changed her?Is it work?
"Life is too short, you should live as consciously as possible," Han Qing said, "What do you think?"
Rainbow stared at her stiffly, thought about this sentence, thought for a while, and said, "I don't want to hear it, I don't want to know."
Han Qing touched her head: "Okay, I won't force you."
In an instant, Rainbow changed her mind again. After drinking half a bowl of red bean soup, she slapped her hands and said, "Okay, I want to know, tell me!"
"You are indeed not born to your parents."
"Not even relatives?"
"No."
"Then, I really come from Fa Yuen Street Nursery?"
"Yes."
Rainbow took out his wallet to see how many banknotes were in it: "By the way, how much did you spend to help me investigate this matter?"
"Don't worry about the money. I didn't spend money at all. Because of work, I happened to know a few people. One of them was in the Civil Affairs Bureau, so I went to check his connections. You know this kind of thing is checked from the bottom up. There is no door. It is smooth all the way from top to bottom. Of course, I also lied."
The truth is expected, but Rainbow is not surprised.And being told by an irrelevant person is at least easier than Li Mingzhu or He Dalu personally telling.Suddenly, she felt light in her heart. A boulder fell to the ground, and a hundred balloons flew into the sky. In fact, the world would not change much because of the truth.
"So," she said after taking two deep breaths, "who are my biological parents? Do you have any clues about this?"
"You were put on a stone bench in a park in the middle of the street less than a day after you were born. An aunt who was exercising in the morning saw you and waited for a long time. After she was sure that no one had claimed it, she handed it over to the Public Security Bureau, and the Public Security Bureau handed you over To the Foundlings. You have nothing on you to identify you except a blanket and a note stating your date of birth."
Rainbow nodded blankly: "That's all?"
"That's all about you." Han Qing said, "Your mother, Li Mingzhu, was pregnant and had an accident during childbirth. The Foundling Hall has adopted you."
"Is the dead fetus a boy or a girl?" Rainbow asked.
"Girl." Han Qing looked at her quietly, "It was actually an operation accident, and your mother was very sad. When you were adopted, you had just been sent to a babysitting hall. Strictly speaking, Li Mingzhu is worthy of your own birth." Mother, because she raised you from the seventh day after you were born. That is to say, she has gone through all the hardships a mother has gone through to raise her children."
Rainbow's eye circles turned red immediately, and she said in her heart, how my mother treats me, do you still need you to tell me?She shook her head and swallowed the hard fact: "Han Qing, don't talk about this, let's talk about something else."
"Well, I know you must be sad to hear that, so I want to give you a lovely gift to soothe your wounded heart." Han Qing mysteriously dragged out an exquisite paper box from under the bed, and took out A beautiful small bag, "Look, GUCCI (Gucci) this year's new style, the boss gave it to me as a bonus. I didn't dare to refuse, and I didn't dare to take it out. I was afraid that Xia Feng would be angry when I saw it, so I gave it to you. You."
It was a pure white handbag with soft fur and a shiny zipper.Rainbow carried it in his wrist, and looked at himself in the mirror from all directions: "Oh my God, it's so beautiful! I like it so much, if you really don't want me, just take it!"
"Take it, take it, as long as you like it." Han Qing said with a smile, "You still found me this job. Thank you all the time, you didn't even give me a chance to invite another guest."
At the moment of handover, Rainbow suddenly found a purple bruise on Han Qing's wrist.
"Hey - what's wrong with your hand?" Rainbow became suspicious, and opened her sleeves, and found that there was a bigger bruise on her arm.
Han Qing looked at her blankly, lowered his head, and did not answer.
Rainbow flames came up: "Did Xia Feng do it?"
After a moment of silence, Han Qing nodded: "It doesn't matter if he beats me when he's in a bad mood, now he even beats the children. Yesterday I had to fight him hard."
"You should have a lot of income now, right? There should be no financial pressure. Why is he still in a mood?" Rainbow became more and more puzzled.
"Maybe it's because I haven't found a suitable job. I haven't adjusted my mentality, and I've become more suspicious recently. I'll come home late and he will definitely make trouble." Han Qing couldn't help sobbing, "Really, Rainbow, I really didn't Thinking of him becoming like this! I don't recognize him at all! Now I get off work every day and I'm shuddering at the thought of meeting him..."
After Ji Huang left, Rainbow met Han Qing several times, and the two talked about everything, but when Xia Feng was mentioned, Han Qing automatically fell silent.After being unemployed, Xia Feng has always wanted to find a job with a salary comparable to that of Han Qing, which is basically impossible in this city with his qualifications.There was a company that was willing to pay one-third of Han Qing's salary for trial. After working for only two weeks, Xia Feng quarreled with the boss.Later, he joined another company with basic salary plus commission. He worked for two months, and his performance was mediocre.Han Qing didn't say anything, but only encouraged him to continue working hard. He felt ashamed and simply resigned.It so happened that Duoduo got pneumonia and couldn't go to kindergarten. Xia Feng had no choice but to stay at home and take care of the children all day, which made her feel even more irritable.
Rainbow stood up: "Han Qing, how much is Xia Feng's phone? I want to have a good talk with him! He can't treat you like this!"
Han Qing grabbed her: "Don't! I beg you! He is sitting on the top of the volcano now, and he will catch fire at one o'clock!"
"Why is this man so single-minded? Isn't he earning money the same way as you earn money? You all earn money for this family!"
"Maybe he felt that his masculinity had been hurt... It looked angry on the surface, but it was actually inferiority in his heart."
"Then I'll ask Qin Wei if I can use his relationship to get Xia Feng a job with a higher salary?"
"Don't stop! Don't get involved with Qin Wei again." Han Qing sighed, "Xia Feng hates him very much now, calling him a vicious capitalist at home every day, with dirty blood flowing from the inside out."
"Why is that? How did Qin Wei offend him?"
"Because Qin Wei always asks me to work overtime, and always asks me to accompany him on business trips..."
"Xia Feng should understand, right? You didn't get such a high salary for nothing, did you?"
"He just doesn't understand, but the more he thinks about it, the more crooked he is." Han Qing smiled wryly, "This man made a newspaper clipping at home, and whenever he saw Qin Wei's news, he would cut it out. One day I came back late and told him I was at a dinner party with my boss, and he slapped me with a slap, saying that I lied to him, and the newspaper said that Qin Wei was in Shanghai this week. I said... the boss I was referring to was not Qin Wei, but the sales director..."
Rainbow held Han Qing's hand tightly: "No! Han Qing! Xia Feng has probably entered a vicious circle, and you must find a solution. It's not a problem for you to continue like this!"
"A way? Is there any way? After all, he is Duoduo's own father."
"How about..." Rainbow dug out her address book, "May I help you find a lawyer for consultation?"
Han Qing immediately said nervously, "Lawyer? You... what do you mean?"
Rainbow looked at her quietly: "What do you think? Can you still live with this kind of person? How long can you persist in this kind of life without dignity? If I were you, I would definitely choose to fight!"
Han Qing looked at her pitifully, and said repeatedly: "No, no, no... let me think again, think again..."
Rainbow stood up, looked at his watch, and sighed: "I'm leaving. Remember, no matter what happens, our door is always open to you and Duoduo."
In the evening, Rainbow returned to her community.Downstairs in the parking lot, Dad He Dalu was repairing the car. From a distance, he could only see two legs, and most of his body was under the car.Rainbow walked over and touched Dad. He Dalu lay on the skateboard and slid out from the bottom of the car with a wrench in his hand. His face was dirty. He said, "You're back?"
"I'm back, Dad," Caihong knelt down on the ground and kissed him regardless of 21, "Let's do it tomorrow, it's getting dark!"
"There's a place that's blocked, and I can't get it right." He Dalu took the water bottle that Rainbow handed over, and took a sip of water. "I'm over [-] and suffering from chronic hemorrhoids. It's enough trouble. I'll give this broken car to me again." It’s like this! Rainbow, you go back first, and I’ll fix it, if it’s not working, I have to go to the car factory.”
"Pfft—" Rainbow couldn't help laughing, who said the working class can't be humorous?
When I got home, my mother Li Mingzhu was busy cooking.As soon as Rainbow opened the door, there was a smoky smell of vegetables. Li Mingzhu pointed to a vegetable bowl and said, "I'm back? Cut a green onion for me. Really, I'm too old to be confused. I just patronized burning taro .Now the oil is hot, and the green onions haven’t been cut yet. Do you think this dish can be eaten without green onions?”
Rainbow dropped the bag and went to the kitchen.The kitchen is so small that it can only accommodate one person, but the countertop and the gas stove face each other.This means that every time the vegetables are cut, the vegetables are poured into the frying pan and they have to turn around once.After a meal, she had to turn around countless times, and Li Mingzhu complained that this was how she got her migraine.
After chopping the green onions, seeing her mother dancing and dancing, Rainbow stretched out her hand to help her squeeze her back: "Mom, are you tired, let me press it for you."
"Okay, it's just my back hurts. This way, go to the left, then go to the left, go down...yes, it's here! Hey...it's so comfortable...it's better for my daughter, my daughter is my parents' little padded jacket."
In fact, Caihong used to help her mother massage her waist, legs, and even her face.When Li Mingzhu suffered from arthritis, Rainbow would wash her feet and apply plasters.But today, Rainbow pressed her mother's waist from behind, and her mood was very different. As she pressed and pressed, tears fell.
"Rainbow, don't think your mother is nagging. No, Auntie Pan said she wanted to introduce a boy to you. He is a doctor from the No.1 People's Hospital. His surname is Jiang. He is in the Department of Thoracic Surgery. His father makes electronic accessories. There are two factories in the city. I think the family conditions and educational qualifications are very suitable, and I heard that he looks good. The most important thing is that he is a lover of literature and can write poetry. How about... meet him this weekend? "
"Row."
This is the first time Rainbow has said "yes" to her mother since Ji Huang left F city.
(End of this chapter)
01
After returning from Eagle Eye Peak, Rainbow did not go to school for two whole weeks.
Firstly, it was because she deliberately avoided Ji Huang; secondly, the thesis that Ji Huang helped her correct finally got an echo.The threshold for core publications is high, and the paper has been published for a long time, and it almost feels like there is no hope, so the editor in charge sent an email belatedly, expressing consideration for adoption, and at the same time put forward five revisions.Rainbow has always positioned herself as a career-oriented woman, not to mention being immersed in academics at this time gave her distracted mind a necessary distraction.As a result, she shut herself in a small black room and worked hard to revise the manuscript for seven days. After sending it out, she was returned and asked to continue to revise and increase the length.I went to the provincial library to check the materials for two days, and spent another four days polishing the text and checking the citations. After sending it away again, the editor-in-chief emailed me to express my agreement to accept it.
This is her first thesis after she joined the work, and it was accepted by a first-level journal. Although she revised it more than a dozen times, it didn’t look like she wrote it at the end, but she thought it was worth it, because the revision of the thesis It is also a process of thinking reborn.
On Monday of the third week, there was a regular meeting in the department. She didn't see Ji Huang, and she was too embarrassed to ask. The door was locked when she passed his office several times.
Maybe a teacher temporarily asked him to substitute for a class, maybe his mother has been admitted to the hospital and needs to be taken care of... After thinking about it, I still worry about him.Ji Huang, like Dong Lin, belongs to the kind of person who plans everything, is very punctual, and has good professional habits.There will be no activities without him, and you can't find him for activities you don't need.This Monday's regular meeting, the department expressly stipulated that all teachers must be there, but he was absent.
Ji Huang has classes on Tuesday afternoon, and usually comes to the office half an hour in advance to prepare lessons.Rainbow pretended to go to the hot water room to fetch water, and glanced at his office, but there was no movement.Unexpectedly, at the stairs, I ran into Teacher Liu Peijuan, who was in the same teaching and research room as Ji Huang. She had taught her Marxist-Leninist Literature Theory before, so she asked casually, "Mr. Liu, have you seen Teacher Ji recently?"
"Oh, you don't know? He's sick."
"Really?" Rainbow's heart beat heavily, "What's wrong?"
"Acute gastric bleeding." Liu Peijuan said, "I suddenly vomited blood and passed out during class last Friday. I was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. The department head and secretary all followed me."
Her face turned pale all of a sudden, as if it wasn't him vomiting blood but her own blood had been drained, and she was so anxious that she stared at her for a moment.I remember that one year, a lump was found on Li Mingzhu's chest, which was suspected to be breast cancer, but it was later found out that it was benign.When Rainbow heard about it, it was like a blow to the head, and it almost collapsed.
Liu Peijuan was still babbling: "...I heard that there was a lot of bleeding, but fortunately the rescue was timely. After all, it is a young man. The doctor said that he is fine." After finishing speaking, he sighed again, "Oh, you bachelors Well, you can’t live without your parents, and your diet is completely out of order... Of course, it may also be because of his mother’s sudden death and excessive grief—”
She was shocked: "His mother... died?"
"Yes, what happened last week. He kept saying that he was seriously ill and that he was going to be sent here for surgery, but unfortunately he didn't have time. Zhongbi called suddenly, and he went back to take care of the funeral that day. The teaching and research team because of Two professors left for an international seminar, and he was asked to substitute for the class all the time, and there was no delay in catching up with the final exam, and he hurried back after the matter was over."
Rainbow quickly asked, "Which hospital is he staying in now?"
"Which one else could it be? Our counterpart is the People's Hospital."
She started to leave, but was grabbed by Liu Peijuan: "Don't worry, I haven't finished yet."
She had to stop.
"Teacher Ji has resigned," Liu Peijuan said, "I just heard about it. The job was handed over at the end of this month, and the department head did his job for half a day, but he didn't keep him. I just asked Teacher Guan and me to arrange how to support him in the next semester." class."
Rainbow grabbed her tightly, eyes widened, and 1 people couldn't believe it and asked, "Why?"
"I don't know." Realizing her excitement, Liu Peijuan was a little surprised, "How many of Su Shaobai's students are not strange? Back then, Xu Zhidong from the Chinese Department of C University—a well-known full professor—envied the teaching conditions here. Well, the research ability is strong, so I have to rack my brains to transfer here. Secretary Chen didn’t nod, but went north to snatch Ji Huang, who just graduated. After working for one year, he was suspended and left, and the theoretical teaching and research section was immediately in disarray. Tell me, next year, two professors in our group will go abroad for study visits. How will the classes be arranged? To be honest, I had objections when I chose him— - Learning is nothing to say, I am also very convinced - but young people are very aggressive and emotional, if something happens, they will cry, make trouble and hang themselves. It is not as safe as those middle-aged teachers who have a family and a family. Scientific research ability is very important , but the teaching task must be completed first! Look at He Xiaogang back then, he was really high-spirited and high-spirited, such a talented person, but he couldn't think about it and just went like this... You don't blame Teacher Guan, she must have some responsibility as a tutor, right? Either there was a mistake in the leadership or the ideological work did not keep up, if it was me..."
This is what Liu Peijuan complains about the most.Back then, she and Guan Ye almost broke their heads in the fight to be He Xiaogang's master's supervisor. It was heard that she was full of praise for He Xiaogang's thesis, and she never forgot to buy the latest theoretical books for him when he went abroad to study.This is the case in colleges and universities, good tutors are robbed by students, and good student tutors are also robbed.
Seeing her talking endlessly, Rainbow was a little impatient and had to interrupt: "Mr. Liu, forgive me for not being with me for a long time. Teacher Ji is my instructor, and I have to hurry up to see him."
After all, I asked her for the ward number and took a taxi directly to the hospital.
Faculty members of University F enjoy the best medical insurance in the city. If they work in this university, if they don’t pay for their salary, bonus or housing, they have to fight for this medical insurance and retirement benefits.Rainbow went straight to the inpatient department on the third floor and found Ji Huang's ward, but found that the bed was empty. In desperation, he grabbed a nurse to inquire and found out that he had gone to the activity room.
Seeing all the visiting people either carrying a basket of fruit or a large bouquet of flowers, she remembered that she was in a hurry and didn't buy anything.She hesitated whether to go to the canteen downstairs to buy some fruit, and felt that there was no need to be so polite with Ji Huang.
"It's sunny there, there's a sofa, and he likes to read there." The nurse said, "I dragged the IV rack over there too."
The long corridor was filled with the smell of disinfectant.Rainbow has an impression of this place because she has had hepatitis A once, and Li Mingzhu and He Dalu were in a hurry.The doctor used a kind of medicine in her drip, and for some reason, her body reacted violently. Rainbow was crying in bed, and Li Mingzhu was crying beside her. She was so anxious that she almost killed the doctor.After a long time, she still missed this happy time, and she could drink the perch soup stewed by her mother every day.
The activity room was not big, and there were no other people there. The TV was empty with the news, and the sun just hit a set of green sofas by the window. Ji Huang was sitting there reading a book.
I haven't seen him for two weeks, his face has become sunken, his chin has become sharper, and for some reason he has shaved his head again, as if his upper body is also a size smaller.The shirt was clean, but the collar was wrinkled, and a neck was exposed alone.The half-folded sleeve exposed a section of arm, thick and covered with scars.It was splashed with oil while working, and she once kissed them lightly.His tarnished tanned skin was an unhealthy black, rough as sandpaper.It was the first time she discovered that Ji Huang was actually very dark—the appearance of a miner when he came out of the mine, and he would never be recognized when he was sent into the coal mine.
She couldn't help but think of the last chapter of "Outside the Window", Jiang Yanrong went to see Kang Nan.Ji Huang is not as thin and dirty as Kang Nan, who smokes and drinks, is old and confused, but his decadent appearance is similar.Is it true that as Qiong Yao said, fantasy love is much more beautiful than reality?Maybe she doesn't know Ji Huang, his life experience, family, or his parents and brothers.Ji Huang is just an ideal in her heart, a phantom of the soul.Maybe when she realizes this, she will lose the courage to face all the truth about this man like Jiang Yanrong did.Maybe... She just doesn't want to live a life of three thatched huts, a cup of tea, and aloofness like Kang Nan.
So, was her choice right or wrong?Or is her life experience just an excuse for her to escape?
Aware of her appearance, Ji Huang closed the book and raised his head.
"Hi." Rainbow felt his voice trembling, "I'm sorry, I'm busy with a paper these days, and I just heard that you were hospitalized."
He glanced at her and said nothing.
"Are you... better?" she asked again.
"What's wrong with me?" he asked.
Just this hard, cold tone, saying it's okay to get out, put Rainbow's melancholy and tenderness straight into the cold palace.
She had no choice but to go straight to the topic: "I heard that you want to resign?"
He nodded.
"why?"
He refused to answer.
"Please answer me."
Still silent.
She took two steps forward, stared firmly into his eyes, and said word by word: "Is it because of me? I would rather not have your future in order to avoid me?"
"Because of you?" He snorted, "Teacher He, ask yourself, do you have such a strong influence?"
"Why is that? Because you hate this city, or because you don't like this school? Do you know how long you have struggled and suffered so much to come to this developed city from a distant mine? Your career has just started, as long as you work hard, Everything you need! If my aunt was alive, would she be willing to see you abandon yourself like this?"
"Even if I give up on myself," he lowered his head, and the shadow fell on her face, "what does it matter to you?"
"Of course it's none of my business! It's all about me!"
"What does that have to do with you?" he asked back.
She froze for a moment, then became dumb.
"All the relationship between me and you is over, I don't want to have any relationship with you anymore. My decision has nothing to do with you." His tone was very light, and his expression was even lighter, "Please treat me as a passerby. "
It was a very unfriendly standoff between them.She knew that she rejected him, and he was always arrogant, so he would definitely mind.But he didn't expect him to be so narrow-minded, to hate her for this.
"OK, you can hate me." She tried to soften her tone, "You can hate me however you want. But please don't be so impulsive, please act according to common sense: you are a man, your career is your foundation, this university It is the best base to guarantee your success. Impulsiveness cannot solve the problem, but the consequences are unimaginable!"
"Common sense? I know your common sense," he sneered quietly. "Your common sense is nothing but security and comfort, right?"
"This is not my common sense!" She said in embarrassment, "I just...can't choose, I..."
She wanted to say, do you know, I was not born to my mother, and my mother has been kind to me in nurturing me, so I can't just go against her wish and marry you.After thinking about it, this reason is not valid. Which mother in the world does not have the grace to raise her daughter?Do we need to divide into two categories: biological and non-natural?What's more, her life experience is just a guess and there is no conclusion yet, so she can only choose not to mention it.
"Okay, Mr. He, we've finished what we have to say. You can't hurt me anymore." He interrupted her unceremoniously, then stretched out his hand and pinched her face with cold fingers , said almost maliciously, "Do you know why you came to me?"
"me……"
That's because I care about you, I love you, and I feel sorry for you... Rainbow cried out in despair in her heart.
"You're smarter than everyone else, armed with theories, but in essence you're no different from the people you hate around you. You're violating the philosophy you advocate: you can't act, you can't choose, and you don't dare to suffer the consequences , your so-called common sense is nothing but the pressure of the world. And this pressure, for a theoretical person like you, can be resisted. Since you choose to give up, I have nothing to say. But you don't have to feel wronged , let alone come to tell me that this is a helpless act. No one can make you helpless, except yourself! If I had believed in helplessness like you since I was a child, I would not be where I am today! Why, are you afraid that I don’t like you? Teacher He, let me tell you clearly: Yes, I just don't like you!"
For a moment she was outraged, more than outraged by her misunderstood mind.She said angrily: "Ha! Who do you think you are? God? Why do you criticize me? Oh, rejecting you is secular, accepting you is noble, you are the moral standard? Also, am I wronged? Why am I wronged? Ji Huang, I do my best to you and have a clear conscience! I don’t want anything from you. I even stole the most expensive things in my house to help you treat my mother’s illness. My mother did something wrong on her birthday. But my mother is my mother, I am me, I have already apologized to you! I asked you to give me some time, is this a very extravagant request? Do you have to make a bet with my mother?... I’m afraid You don't like me? A joke! What do you think I am? A concubine competing for favor? From a worldly point of view, what do you like about me? Do you think you are Cui Jian? Do you think I am a girl from the village called Xiao Fang? Do you think that if you sing "Nothing" with your guitar, I will go with you? Ji Huang, I admired you very much at first, but your performance today disappointed me. I don't know what attitude you have towards me. Care about, but you are so naive and impulsive about your own future, and you are full of talent to go against the grain, you can't do any big business just because of this!"
Except for Li Mingzhu, Rainbow has never been afraid of quarrels. She has always been eloquent and courageous in battles. In class, she takes pleasure in asking the teacher down. She was once the best debater on campus. Otherwise, Guan Ye would not let her stand in the way if there was trouble.
"Why, do you hate that iron can't be made into steel?" He spoke slowly, "I have never been the piece of iron in your heart, and I can't be tempered into the piece of steel you want. Now that everything is over, don't be with me. It’s a waste of time, save your excess sympathy for the children who are out of school in the mountainous areas.”
"My mother is right," she was really angry, "You really are narrow-minded and impulsive! It's a good thing I wasn't with you, otherwise I would have been brainwashed by you and turned into a rural little daughter-in-law!"
"Do you still use me to wash your brain? Mr. He, aren't you afraid that your urban petty bourgeois class identity will be ruthlessly exposed?"
"Exposure? What's wrong with exposure? Do you think that by reading two more books, you can despise the decisiveness of the economic base over the superstructure? You can deconstruct the subconsciousness of others towards you? The world will not change for you, you can live in fantasy , but please respect those who are more willing to face reality than you!"
"For example, you, right? I am your reality, the hurdle you need to overcome and face, and you don't enjoy other pleasures besides the thin material and cold reality when you are with me, that's it ?"
She took a few breaths, and immediately shouted: "Yes! That's it!"
He grabbed her tightly and pulled her body towards him. Between them, they were almost face to face.Rainbow felt a chill, and the blade-like gaze swept over, digging a hole in her heart, and all the tenderness and romance between them leaked out of this hole in an instant.
"If that's the case, then why did you come to me?" he said, "you came here to scold me?"
"Slap", she slapped him backhandedly, and roared, "You are so sick and confused that your brain is short-circuited like this? No wonder Einstein said that there are only two things in this world that are infinite, one is the vast universe, and the other is infinite." It's human stupidity!"
He didn't listen to her anymore, he yanked the drip stand, and ignored the clinking of the glass bottles hanging above, and strode past her, creating a cloud of messy air, together with the smell of medicine from his body, Without looking back, he disappeared into the corridor.
"Ji Huang——" She stomped her feet angrily at his back: "Okay! You go! You dig coal! You go farming! You go begging! Do what you like, ghosts don't bother to care about you!"
From then on, they stopped talking and did not say hello when they met.
This kind of life is really tormenting for Rainbow. The relationship between the two of them went from the peak to the bottom like a roller coaster during the sweet and gluey love period, and there were also Li Mingzhu's swearing, He Dalu's long and short sighs, and the relationship between them. Teacher Li's watching and Han Qing's emotional analysis mixed with remorse and resentment, concluded that the two sisters made the same aesthetic mistake: Ji Huang is beautiful on the outside, but he is actually Xia Feng's second.It made Rainbow hate him when he saw him, and feel uncomfortable when he didn't see him, and he still had countless grievances in his heart.
In fact, she didn't meet Ji Huang seriously a few times this month. When they arrived at the regular meeting, the two of them consciously sat in two corners, one east and one west; Ji Huang has already handed in the changes.She didn't bother to question the theory, and she felt a fire in her heart.Except for the fight for her mentor and senior brother, Rainbow has never had such a big grudge against anyone in her life.
At the end of the month, before the summer vacation, Ji Huang really resigned.I heard that in order to keep him, the secretary called and begged Su Shaobai to be a lobbyist.The teacher called the student for an hour but nothing came through.
Rainbow went to ask Guan Ye. Guan Ye said that he had persuaded him many times, but he was powerless and said: "I heard that his mother's death will hit the two younger brothers very hard. They will be in the second year of high school next year, and they have always been the best students in that high school. Ji Huang is worried about them. I couldn’t get into university, so I wanted to change jobs, which would be closer to their school, so it would be easier to take care of them.”
Rainbow expressed puzzlement and asked: "Second year in high school? That's almost seventeen, right? Can't you take care of yourself?"
"It's true... one of the younger brothers was more irritated. He ran away from home for a few days and finally got back. His mental state is not good. The four of them, mother and son, depend on each other for life, and they have a deep relationship."
The situation was more complicated than she imagined. Rainbow didn't speak for a long time, and finally asked: "Then where did he go? He won't be unemployed, right?"
"He went to Zhongbi Coal Teachers College."
"What?" Rainbow felt his scalp explode, "Coal Teachers College? Does Coal Teachers College have a Chinese department?"
"Yes, this college is not small and is expanding."
"Damn!" Caihong couldn't help but want to curse, "Waste of resources! My brain is flooded!"
"He said that he misses his hometown and is willing to contribute to the education of the mining area." After Guan Ye finished speaking, he threw her a key, "His office is vacant—I took the opportunity to tell the secretary about your difficulties, take it! The office of your dreams is here."
"Mr. Guan, can you persuade him again?" She couldn't help begging.
"You should care more about your studies." Guan Ye lit a cigarette, "What about the thesis I want you to correct? One He Xiaogang was abolished, and one Ji Huang was abolished. If you want to abolish it too, look at me. Without strangling you first!"
02
After Ji Huang left, Rainbow did not live like the lovelorn heroine in the [-] o'clock TV series. She felt that the biggest difference between herself and those people was that she had undergone rigorous theoretical training. The mountain was as high as the sun, and love was as high as But career, there is no need to stop the yearning for life and the pursuit of career because of a setback.Of course, she didn't have any particularly happy moments, and followed the wheel of time to return to her daily life in a daze. As long as she followed the rules, life would be easy, at least mentally, there would be no pressure.
Rainbow doesn't miss Ji Huang very much, she only blames herself for not slapping him awake.Even if you don't love him, as a colleague, you will feel very sorry to see talented people make unwise choices.Rainbow once thought that with Ji Huang, although he would not be as rich and powerful as Dong Lin, it would be a perfect blueprint to study happily, study and educate people, and live in this vibrant campus for the rest of his life.Now that Ji Huang is gone, but the blueprint is still there, all she has to do is to find someone to fill in it, not to say that the earth would not turn without Ji Huang.
She started throwing herself into her career and keeping herself very busy.On-the-job study requires taking courses, writing a thesis, co-writing a monograph with another teacher, and cooperating with the teaching and research section to compile textbooks, none of which is easy.Most importantly, because of Ji Huang's absence, the department ordered her to take an undergraduate course he taught - Structuralism and Post-Structuralism.She had to bite the bullet and prepare lessons, and was forced to read a lot of theoretical books that she had never understood.
Born and raised for more than 20 years, Caihong has a stronger social network than outsiders in City F. Specifically, he can always find entertainment when he is in a bad mood.Urban life is rich and colorful. Today is a classmate reunion, tomorrow is a friend’s birthday, the day after tomorrow is a colleague’s wedding, and the day after tomorrow Guo Lili comes to meet for coffee or Donglin to go on an outing. As long as she nods, free time will be filled immediately. There is no time to indulge in the past , Sad spring and autumn?She had no time to think of Ji Huang who was teaching at a certain coal teachers' college in a certain county a hundred miles away.Similarly, Ji Huang will soon become so-and-so, so-and-so, and after a certain year, maybe even the name is unclear.
Even if I thought of him in the dead of night, the scene of the quarrel in the hospital that day flashed into my mind the fastest, the arrogant demeanor, the falcon's gaze, the harsh sarcasm, and those unfeeling words: "I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore. "
Ji Huang, Ji Huang, what can I do to you?Don't care about your background, don't care about your salary, don't ask if you have a car or a house, just give you the purest heart of a girl with such negotiability!You still say this to me!Thinking of this, she closed her eyes and fell asleep while gnashing her teeth.
When Ji Huang was away, Rainbow naturally got together with Han Qing again.Although Han Qing worked hard, he couldn't let his best friend lose love.After work, I had dinner and took Duoduo for a walk, and the car turned a few turns and arrived at Rainbow's house.The two made an appointment to go to McDonald's to eat ice cream, and watched Duoduo playing barefoot with a group of children in the children's playground.Just chat for an hour or two before driving home.Han Qing said that Ji Huang and Xia Feng have many similarities: they are both children who grew up in the countryside. Suspicious temperament, easily overwhelmed by life changes.
"Don't be too sad, breaking up is not necessarily a bad thing," Han Qing said, "At least you won't wait until you get married to know the whole truth about a person like me. However, Xia Feng is still better than Ji Huang, at least he can tell the difference Li Li, no matter what, I will not resign in anger, and fight all the way to enter the city, and stay in the city even if I beg for food."
Rainbow says that's exactly what she can't figure out.
Han Qing said again: "Why didn't you tell him your life experience? Maybe he will understand your difficulties."
"I dare not say... so far, it is just a guess," Rainbow was silent for a while, "I'm afraid it will become true once I say it."
To be honest, as Ji Huang's colleague, it is not difficult to find his trace.For example, he did not stop his research during the half a year after leaving F city, and published two papers in academic journals one after another.Except for the six words "Zhongbi Coal Teachers College" which made her feel puzzled - I have to admit - the paper maintained his usual high standard and was quickly reprinted by important publications.For example, the magazines and various letters he ordered were still sent to the department in a steady stream, and they were re-posted by Rainbow again and again according to the new address.Another example is that there are always people looking for him for meetings or lectures, and even juniors who want to follow him when they are looking for a job. When they call the office, she has to explain again and again that Ji Huang has been transferred and she does not know the new contact number. .
Whenever she felt that she had forgotten this man, one or two things popped up and brought her back to him.
There was a regular meeting in the department three days ago. Out of boredom, Rainbow casually opened a journal, and suddenly discovered that Ji Huang's alma mater, S University, would hold an academic seminar on "Deconstruction Criticism and Practice" at the end of this month.She happened to have a dissertation on this topic in hand. She wrote the first draft and revised it once. She was not satisfied after reading it, so she put it in the drawer.That night, I searched for conference information on the Internet, and saw Ji Huang's name suddenly listed in the abstracts of more than [-] papers uploaded one after another.
She was suddenly excited, and the blood rushed to the top of her head.
The next day, she spent the whole day condensing her thesis into a [-]-word abstract. She was afraid that it would not be good enough, so she pestered Guan Ye to discuss it repeatedly.It was a fairly high-end academic seminar, and she was very picky about the papers attended. She revised them until the early morning and submitted them in the last hour of the deadline.
A week later, Caihong received a formal invitation to the meeting, and unexpectedly found that he and Ji Huang were arranged to read a paper in the same group.For some reason, she was pleasantly surprised.
Next, Rainbow spent a full 20 days revising the thesis, sleeping only five hours a day, striving for the best in every detail, every argument, and every point of view.When she revised to the final draft, she was quite satisfied with the reading, and for the first time in her life, she felt that she had taken a step towards a genius.
Not only Caihong, but even Guan Ye praised it, and even persuaded her to expand this topic and make it into her doctoral dissertation.
"So far, this is the best paper I have seen written by you." Guan Ye said, "It has both speculative discussion and original analysis. Work hard, Rainbow, you are in this line Very promising!"
"Hey!" She was encouraged.
"Where did you get your inspiration from?"
She made a face, embarrassed to answer.
Guan Ye took a sip of coffee and lit a cigarette on his finger: "Then, greet Ji Huang for me."
"Is Ji Huang going too?" She asked knowingly.
"I heard it is."
She left and exited Guan Ye's office. Before leaving, Guan Ye suddenly said, "Rainbow, academics are academics, and love is love. I hope you don't confuse the two, let alone put the cart before the horse."
"Don't worry, my love has died, and everything is academic now." She denied.
"Bad Faith." Guan Ye chuckled, and blew a round smoke ring out the window.
The day before the meeting was a cold and sunny day. Rainbow got off the train and waited in line for more than half an hour for a taxi at the station before finding the university hotel where the meeting was arranged.After paying the membership fee, receiving the badge and materials, the staff handed her a stack of conference papers.
"Excuse me, is Mr. Ji Huang from Zhongbi Coal Teachers College here?" she asked while filling out the form during registration.
"What college?" Hearing the name of the school, the staff was taken aback, thinking she had come to the wrong place.
"Zhongbi Coal Teachers College."
"This one's going to be in the Faculty of Letters."
"Check it out, he should be on your list."
The staff checked and nodded: "Yes, but Teacher Ji hasn't reported yet."
"Which train did he take?"
"I don't know, we don't arrange to pick up the car... Teacher Ji will report tomorrow afternoon, and maybe he won't be there until tomorrow morning."
"Oh. Then... what is his room number?"
"207."
"Thank you."
It was still early for dinner, and she did not take advantage of the opportunity to exchange ideas, connect with each other, and exchange business cards like her peers.Walking out of the hotel alone, she went to the Faculty of Arts of S University.
It is a century-old building in a century-old school, with Western style and marble steps, graceful and elegant, and the students walking out of it all have a hint of rebellion in their eyes.She secretly thought, only such a university can nurture students like Ji Huang, right?I haven't seen him for half a year and I don't know if he has changed, has he grown thinner or fatter, has turned black or white, is he still so aggressive when speaking?Is the demeanor still so serious?Thinking of this, many expectations surged in my heart. After all, she once occupied this man's heart and had his warmest and softest time. She was luckier than other women who had dealt with him.Even the glaring and swearing at the hospital was not as memorable as before. After all, he was a patient, and his mother had just passed away. After all, this kind of outburst was the only time they had been together for so long. Who can lose their temper?
Passing by a hair salon, she went in to wash her hair and have a brand new hairstyle.In the end, when I looked in the mirror, I found that she was too upright, too much like a woman in the Republic of China period. When I returned to the hotel, I washed it again and tied it into a ponytail that Ji Huang is most familiar with.
Ji Huang once said that she likes to see her wearing purple clothes. She prepared two pieces, but felt that they were too deliberate, so she changed them again, only wearing a purple scarf.
After dressing up in front of the mirror for a long time, with piles of clothes piled up on the bed, she realized that her face had been flushed from the moment she got off the train, burning hot, and her heart was beating fast, as if she had something on her mind.In order to keep calm, she drank a can of iced Coke, and then went to the restaurant with other teachers.The dinner was treated by the host, and there were not as many guests as she had imagined.She looked around during the dinner, but Ji Huang didn't come.
Perhaps, as the staff said, he will arrive at the meeting tomorrow morning.So I went upstairs a little frustrated, and knocked on the door of 207 without giving up. The middle-aged teacher opened the door.
"Excuse me—does Teacher Ji Huang live in this room?" She asked cautiously.
"I don't know," the middle-aged teacher was very enthusiastic, "I have an empty bed here, maybe he hasn't arrived yet. Are you—"
"I'm He Caihong, from the Modern and Contemporary Teaching and Research Office of F University."
"Yo! He Caihong, you wrote Zhang Ailing's View of Time and Space, right? I like that article very much! By the way, let me introduce myself, I am Zhang Haochang, Department of Chinese, S Normal University. I also engage in modern literature."
"Remember, you wrote a book called "A Study of the Mandarin Duck and Butterfly School", right?"
"It's a clumsy book."
"That's the reference book for my postgraduate entrance examination, Mr. Zhang, it's a pleasure to meet you!"
"I am very interested in female writers in the Republic of China period! Xiao Hong, Lu Yin, Zhang Ailing, and Shi Pingmei all like them. Teacher He, please sit down, let's have a good chat!"
The hospitality was hard to come by, so she had to chat with this teacher Zhang about Xiao Hong and Lu Yin all night.
It was past eleven o'clock when we got back to our room.Rainbow lay on the bed, opened a video on the phone, and watched it repeatedly.
The quality of the footage was not good, with the image shaking a lot due to the lens being attached to the balloon.But Rainbow felt that he had recorded Ji Huang's brightest smile.
She admired it over and over again, and saw that the camera was getting farther and farther away from her, and Ji Huang's arms were around her waist.She saw herself raising her face and tiptoeing to the camera and said loudly: "Ji Huang, I love you!...Say it, Ji Huang, come and confess..." Then they made faces at the camera together, and Ji Huang's voice gradually faded away. It was too small to distinguish, but she could still hear it: "...there is no wind, it is rising in a straight line, like a spaceship leaving the earth... not only can it shine on us, but it can also shine on this whole city..."
so what?She sighed heavily, the whole city couldn't accommodate them.
The next day, Caihong got up early and went to the lobby on the first floor to have breakfast, and took the opportunity to see if Ji Huang had come.
still none.
She cursed bitterly in her heart: Ji Huang, Ji Huang, you are not the prime minister who manages everything every day, do you need to be so careful about time?Will people die if they come half a day early?
This depressed mood lasted until the paper was read out. The conference room was very small, and there were not many audiences. There were no more than 20 people sitting there, and Ji Huang didn't show up.If he arrives, he will sit next to her, because he is next.
She knew that her thesis was well written, and the PPT was also well done, but she knew that all of these were for Ji Huang to read.As a result, Ji Huang's delay in coming made her nervous and absent-minded, and she couldn't help but stop for a second in the middle of reading the thesis to look into the crowd.Afraid of delaying the progress, she read the speech very quickly. The 15-minute report was finished in [-] minutes, and the audience took advantage of the opportunity to ask questions frequently.At the end of the question and answer, the host said slowly: "The next speaker was Mr. Ji Huang from Zhongbi Coal Teachers College. He called just now to say that his train schedule today is temporary because the mudslide damaged the railway. It was canceled, so I can’t attend the meeting. Now let’s welcome Professor Jiang Ji’an from H University to introduce the translation of Derrida’s works in China…”
As soon as I got home, Caihong pulled Han Qing out to complain: "Oh, this year is really troublesome. I rushed to catch up with a high-quality paper and wanted to meet Ji Huang, but he didn't come. Tell me, will he come?" Is it because I found out that I didn't come on purpose?"
"It's been more than half a year since he left. Why do you keep mentioning him? Isn't this a distraction?" Han Qing said.
"How can I forget it in a short time?" Rainbow was extremely frustrated, "It's also my first love after all."
"Then you have a falling out with your mother and run to find him." Han Qing ordered her a cup of iced red bean soup, "Make cooked rice with raw rice. The old man will recognize it sooner or later."
"She doesn't like Ji Huang so much, she is going to fight me for life... My mother is poor, she was born in that kind of family, and she hasn't enjoyed a good life since the 'Cultural Revolution'. I feel that I have an obligation to let her live a good life Rainbow sighed repeatedly, "Besides, I am increasingly suspicious that I am not her own. Last month I went to Aunt Cai's house - Aunt Cai is my mother's colleague - and I found a picture of me born in her. A photo of her and my mother that year. My mother's belly is not big at all, and I was born a month later... Tell me, is this a solid proof?"
Regarding her life experience, Rainbow only talked with Han Qing alone, and told her various details and her own suspicions.The two have also discussed the possibility of this matter countless times.
"Do you really want to know the answer?" Han Qing said suddenly.
Seeing her serious expression, Rainbow nodded: "Of course! I just don't want to make a big noise. If my mother finds out that I'm looking into this matter, she'll have to kill me."
"I checked it for you." Han Qing said.
Rainbow's heart sank suddenly: "You? Did you check it for me?"
"Yes." Han Qing took a deep breath, "I know you really want to know the answer, and I also know you don't have the courage to look it up, so I'll help you look it up."
"Did you find out?"
"Yes." Han Qing said, "it happened in the last two months. If you want to hear it, I'll tell you; if you don't want to hear it, I won't tell it. Let this secret follow me to the grave."
"Wait," Rainbow looked at Han Qing, "Han Qing, you have changed!"
In my impression, Han Qing seldom has a decisive moment, and he can't make a decision for half a month.In my impression, Han Qing has no secrets, and she always discusses with Rainbow when she has any concerns. She is good at analyzing, and she is good at analyzing others, but she always comes up with negative opinions when it is her turn.It's definitely not her style to do something at the risk of being scolded by friends.What changed her?Is it work?
"Life is too short, you should live as consciously as possible," Han Qing said, "What do you think?"
Rainbow stared at her stiffly, thought about this sentence, thought for a while, and said, "I don't want to hear it, I don't want to know."
Han Qing touched her head: "Okay, I won't force you."
In an instant, Rainbow changed her mind again. After drinking half a bowl of red bean soup, she slapped her hands and said, "Okay, I want to know, tell me!"
"You are indeed not born to your parents."
"Not even relatives?"
"No."
"Then, I really come from Fa Yuen Street Nursery?"
"Yes."
Rainbow took out his wallet to see how many banknotes were in it: "By the way, how much did you spend to help me investigate this matter?"
"Don't worry about the money. I didn't spend money at all. Because of work, I happened to know a few people. One of them was in the Civil Affairs Bureau, so I went to check his connections. You know this kind of thing is checked from the bottom up. There is no door. It is smooth all the way from top to bottom. Of course, I also lied."
The truth is expected, but Rainbow is not surprised.And being told by an irrelevant person is at least easier than Li Mingzhu or He Dalu personally telling.Suddenly, she felt light in her heart. A boulder fell to the ground, and a hundred balloons flew into the sky. In fact, the world would not change much because of the truth.
"So," she said after taking two deep breaths, "who are my biological parents? Do you have any clues about this?"
"You were put on a stone bench in a park in the middle of the street less than a day after you were born. An aunt who was exercising in the morning saw you and waited for a long time. After she was sure that no one had claimed it, she handed it over to the Public Security Bureau, and the Public Security Bureau handed you over To the Foundlings. You have nothing on you to identify you except a blanket and a note stating your date of birth."
Rainbow nodded blankly: "That's all?"
"That's all about you." Han Qing said, "Your mother, Li Mingzhu, was pregnant and had an accident during childbirth. The Foundling Hall has adopted you."
"Is the dead fetus a boy or a girl?" Rainbow asked.
"Girl." Han Qing looked at her quietly, "It was actually an operation accident, and your mother was very sad. When you were adopted, you had just been sent to a babysitting hall. Strictly speaking, Li Mingzhu is worthy of your own birth." Mother, because she raised you from the seventh day after you were born. That is to say, she has gone through all the hardships a mother has gone through to raise her children."
Rainbow's eye circles turned red immediately, and she said in her heart, how my mother treats me, do you still need you to tell me?She shook her head and swallowed the hard fact: "Han Qing, don't talk about this, let's talk about something else."
"Well, I know you must be sad to hear that, so I want to give you a lovely gift to soothe your wounded heart." Han Qing mysteriously dragged out an exquisite paper box from under the bed, and took out A beautiful small bag, "Look, GUCCI (Gucci) this year's new style, the boss gave it to me as a bonus. I didn't dare to refuse, and I didn't dare to take it out. I was afraid that Xia Feng would be angry when I saw it, so I gave it to you. You."
It was a pure white handbag with soft fur and a shiny zipper.Rainbow carried it in his wrist, and looked at himself in the mirror from all directions: "Oh my God, it's so beautiful! I like it so much, if you really don't want me, just take it!"
"Take it, take it, as long as you like it." Han Qing said with a smile, "You still found me this job. Thank you all the time, you didn't even give me a chance to invite another guest."
At the moment of handover, Rainbow suddenly found a purple bruise on Han Qing's wrist.
"Hey - what's wrong with your hand?" Rainbow became suspicious, and opened her sleeves, and found that there was a bigger bruise on her arm.
Han Qing looked at her blankly, lowered his head, and did not answer.
Rainbow flames came up: "Did Xia Feng do it?"
After a moment of silence, Han Qing nodded: "It doesn't matter if he beats me when he's in a bad mood, now he even beats the children. Yesterday I had to fight him hard."
"You should have a lot of income now, right? There should be no financial pressure. Why is he still in a mood?" Rainbow became more and more puzzled.
"Maybe it's because I haven't found a suitable job. I haven't adjusted my mentality, and I've become more suspicious recently. I'll come home late and he will definitely make trouble." Han Qing couldn't help sobbing, "Really, Rainbow, I really didn't Thinking of him becoming like this! I don't recognize him at all! Now I get off work every day and I'm shuddering at the thought of meeting him..."
After Ji Huang left, Rainbow met Han Qing several times, and the two talked about everything, but when Xia Feng was mentioned, Han Qing automatically fell silent.After being unemployed, Xia Feng has always wanted to find a job with a salary comparable to that of Han Qing, which is basically impossible in this city with his qualifications.There was a company that was willing to pay one-third of Han Qing's salary for trial. After working for only two weeks, Xia Feng quarreled with the boss.Later, he joined another company with basic salary plus commission. He worked for two months, and his performance was mediocre.Han Qing didn't say anything, but only encouraged him to continue working hard. He felt ashamed and simply resigned.It so happened that Duoduo got pneumonia and couldn't go to kindergarten. Xia Feng had no choice but to stay at home and take care of the children all day, which made her feel even more irritable.
Rainbow stood up: "Han Qing, how much is Xia Feng's phone? I want to have a good talk with him! He can't treat you like this!"
Han Qing grabbed her: "Don't! I beg you! He is sitting on the top of the volcano now, and he will catch fire at one o'clock!"
"Why is this man so single-minded? Isn't he earning money the same way as you earn money? You all earn money for this family!"
"Maybe he felt that his masculinity had been hurt... It looked angry on the surface, but it was actually inferiority in his heart."
"Then I'll ask Qin Wei if I can use his relationship to get Xia Feng a job with a higher salary?"
"Don't stop! Don't get involved with Qin Wei again." Han Qing sighed, "Xia Feng hates him very much now, calling him a vicious capitalist at home every day, with dirty blood flowing from the inside out."
"Why is that? How did Qin Wei offend him?"
"Because Qin Wei always asks me to work overtime, and always asks me to accompany him on business trips..."
"Xia Feng should understand, right? You didn't get such a high salary for nothing, did you?"
"He just doesn't understand, but the more he thinks about it, the more crooked he is." Han Qing smiled wryly, "This man made a newspaper clipping at home, and whenever he saw Qin Wei's news, he would cut it out. One day I came back late and told him I was at a dinner party with my boss, and he slapped me with a slap, saying that I lied to him, and the newspaper said that Qin Wei was in Shanghai this week. I said... the boss I was referring to was not Qin Wei, but the sales director..."
Rainbow held Han Qing's hand tightly: "No! Han Qing! Xia Feng has probably entered a vicious circle, and you must find a solution. It's not a problem for you to continue like this!"
"A way? Is there any way? After all, he is Duoduo's own father."
"How about..." Rainbow dug out her address book, "May I help you find a lawyer for consultation?"
Han Qing immediately said nervously, "Lawyer? You... what do you mean?"
Rainbow looked at her quietly: "What do you think? Can you still live with this kind of person? How long can you persist in this kind of life without dignity? If I were you, I would definitely choose to fight!"
Han Qing looked at her pitifully, and said repeatedly: "No, no, no... let me think again, think again..."
Rainbow stood up, looked at his watch, and sighed: "I'm leaving. Remember, no matter what happens, our door is always open to you and Duoduo."
In the evening, Rainbow returned to her community.Downstairs in the parking lot, Dad He Dalu was repairing the car. From a distance, he could only see two legs, and most of his body was under the car.Rainbow walked over and touched Dad. He Dalu lay on the skateboard and slid out from the bottom of the car with a wrench in his hand. His face was dirty. He said, "You're back?"
"I'm back, Dad," Caihong knelt down on the ground and kissed him regardless of 21, "Let's do it tomorrow, it's getting dark!"
"There's a place that's blocked, and I can't get it right." He Dalu took the water bottle that Rainbow handed over, and took a sip of water. "I'm over [-] and suffering from chronic hemorrhoids. It's enough trouble. I'll give this broken car to me again." It’s like this! Rainbow, you go back first, and I’ll fix it, if it’s not working, I have to go to the car factory.”
"Pfft—" Rainbow couldn't help laughing, who said the working class can't be humorous?
When I got home, my mother Li Mingzhu was busy cooking.As soon as Rainbow opened the door, there was a smoky smell of vegetables. Li Mingzhu pointed to a vegetable bowl and said, "I'm back? Cut a green onion for me. Really, I'm too old to be confused. I just patronized burning taro .Now the oil is hot, and the green onions haven’t been cut yet. Do you think this dish can be eaten without green onions?”
Rainbow dropped the bag and went to the kitchen.The kitchen is so small that it can only accommodate one person, but the countertop and the gas stove face each other.This means that every time the vegetables are cut, the vegetables are poured into the frying pan and they have to turn around once.After a meal, she had to turn around countless times, and Li Mingzhu complained that this was how she got her migraine.
After chopping the green onions, seeing her mother dancing and dancing, Rainbow stretched out her hand to help her squeeze her back: "Mom, are you tired, let me press it for you."
"Okay, it's just my back hurts. This way, go to the left, then go to the left, go down...yes, it's here! Hey...it's so comfortable...it's better for my daughter, my daughter is my parents' little padded jacket."
In fact, Caihong used to help her mother massage her waist, legs, and even her face.When Li Mingzhu suffered from arthritis, Rainbow would wash her feet and apply plasters.But today, Rainbow pressed her mother's waist from behind, and her mood was very different. As she pressed and pressed, tears fell.
"Rainbow, don't think your mother is nagging. No, Auntie Pan said she wanted to introduce a boy to you. He is a doctor from the No.1 People's Hospital. His surname is Jiang. He is in the Department of Thoracic Surgery. His father makes electronic accessories. There are two factories in the city. I think the family conditions and educational qualifications are very suitable, and I heard that he looks good. The most important thing is that he is a lover of literature and can write poetry. How about... meet him this weekend? "
"Row."
This is the first time Rainbow has said "yes" to her mother since Ji Huang left F city.
(End of this chapter)
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