Calm: Be a calm woman

Chapter 10 Independence and Confidence—A calm woman can only be calm when she remembers not to belittle herself (3)
Regarding the question of life and happiness, I have also asked many women: "What makes you the happiest?" To this question, most women will say: "Oh! Let me think about it, this question is difficult to answer .” Next, we might as well listen to my story first, which may give some inspiration to many women.

One day, I ran into my old friend Ms. Betty unexpectedly on the streets of London, England.We hadn't seen each other for many years, so I cordially invited her to lunch.Of course, I would also like to take this opportunity to know about Betty's current life and express my concern.Anyone who knows Betty's story knows that Betty's fate is very rough.She first ran a gift shop with her husband, and then, because of the economic downturn, the gift shop had to close.The failure of this business not only wiped out her savings for many years, but also caused her to bear a large amount of debt.In order to repay the debt, she had to work hard for 7 years, saving money every day.At that time, Betty was in a bad mood. She felt that she had lost everything, so she was full of despair.Later, after several efforts and the passage of time, Betty's situation has not changed much.I haven't seen her for many years, and recalling Betty's past sufferings, I can't wait to learn about Betty's current living conditions.During the conversation, I found that Betty is like a different person now.

Betty sitting in front of me has undergone a huge change. The worry on her face has disappeared, replaced by a bright smile.If I hadn't learned from Betty's words that her life was still difficult, I would have thought she had become a happy woman, because there was no trace of unhappiness on her face.I couldn't believe it, so I couldn't help but asked Betty, "I can't believe it, you are so different. Tell me, how do you let go of worry and laugh?"

Betty smiled happily and said, "Dale, you are so right. I have indeed driven away my worries. Now, I am happy every day because I am very satisfied with my life."

"Wonderful!" I said, "I really congratulate you. You are very lucky, your life has changed a lot."

Betty smiled and shook her head and said, "No, you know it's not that I'm lucky. Compared with a few years ago, my life has not changed fundamentally. What has changed is me, and only me. Now, I think about those things that made me The things that make me happy. Dale, you can't imagine why I am happy. I still live a life of poverty, but, I have a husband who loves me, and a lovely daughter. And, I am healthy. These , are all my wealth for the rest of my life, and no one can take it away."

Many times, life is like a piano, with black keys and white keys.To play a great piece of music, you can't just play the black keys without talking about the white keys.A truly wonderful life is always black and white intertwined and blending with each other.Since it is also a day to cry and worry, it is also a day to smile and be happy, why don't we learn from Betty and face life with a smile?Remember, destiny is in your own hands, we must become towering trees that dominate destiny, and never become "stomach flowers" that climb destiny!
Tell him, "I'm your strongest backing"

Although we often think that men should be strong, the fact is that men can be weak sometimes and not persistent enough.Therefore, every man needs a believer who trusts him unswervingly, gives him confidence, and gives him the courage to persevere.Many times, for a man, this believer is either someone else or his wife.A woman who trusts a man can wholeheartedly support him when he is in adversity, give him the most powerful support, strengthen his resistance and confidence, and let him know that there is always a believer in this world who believes in him.For a man, his wife's distrust is undoubtedly his biggest frustration and blow.

Dupree lives at 2 Cornon Street, Brister City, Connecticut.It has always been his dream to be a good salesman.Until 1947, he finally got his wish and became an insurance salesman.However, the ideal is full and the reality is very skinny. No matter how hard he tried, he never sold any insurance.In order to avoid his mental breakdown due to tension and pain, he finally decided to resign.At this time, his wife bravely stood behind him, and told him more than once that all these setbacks were only temporary.His wife always said to him: "As long as you persevere, you will definitely succeed next time." "Don't worry, you are destined to become a successful salesman."

Later, Dupree went to work in a factory.However, his wife always reminded him to pay attention to his appearance and conversation.In the following time, his wife always praised Du Peilei for his good temperament, and repeatedly reminded him that he had the potential to become an excellent salesman.In fact, if his wife hadn't mentioned these talents and qualities, Du Peilei really would not have realized them.With the encouragement of his wife again and again, Du Peilei gradually built up his confidence.Later, he left the factory and returned to his sales job.Because his wife has always trusted him and supported him, this time, he has full courage to face the upcoming challenges.

Today, Dupree no longer doubts himself, but is full of confidence.He always said: "I know that to become a successful salesman, I still need to go through a long process. However, there is a loyal believer by my side who always gives me confidence and courage. Therefore, I I must go on the road, because my wife convinced me that as long as I work hard, as long as I want to succeed, I will definitely be able to succeed!"

If the wife is also in the scope of our investigation of recruiting salesmen, then I believe that any company will welcome such a man into their team because he has a steadfast wife.Under the power of trust, such women will never let their husbands fail. Even if their husbands are in a difficult situation for a while, they will bravely stand up, heal their husbands, and give them great courage.

Today, Ford Motor enjoys a high reputation all over the world, and its founder, Mr. Ford, has therefore become the "father of new industries".What people don't know is that if it is not for Mrs. Ford's trust and persistence, Mr. Ford's car may not come to this world in time.

At the end of the 19th century, the young Mr. Ford was just a mechanic for an electric light company in Detroit.He would work ten hours a day and spend the nights designing new engines when he got home.Watching Ford work day and night without any achievements, his father began to suspect that his son's efforts were just wasting time in vain, even the neighbors laughed at him, no one believed that he could design good things, except his other than Mrs.

After a busy day's work, Mrs. Ford will take the initiative to act as Mr. Ford's assistant.The cold winter came, and it got dark quickly. In order to light Mr. Ford, Mrs. Ford had to walk around in the shed with a kerosene lamp.Her hands were red and swollen from the cold, and she was shaking all over.Even so, she still firmly believed that Mr. Ford would be able to design a new engine.Her faith was even stronger than Mr. Ford's, so Mr. Ford jokingly called her his "believer".

In 1893, after three long and difficult three years, Mr. Ford's new engine finally came out.At that time, on the eve of Mr. Ford's 30th birthday, he and his wife rode through the city in a horse-drawn carriage, and the neighbors were stunned.It was at that time that a new industry was born.This new industry not only changed Mr. Ford's life, but also had a profound impact on the development of the country.If Ford is the "Father of New Industry", then Mrs. Ford is the well-deserved "Mother of New Industry".

Fifty years later, when asked what kind of afterlife he wanted to have, Mr. Ford said: "As long as I can be with my wife, I don't care what the next life is like." Mr. Ford loves his "believers", so Only then can I hope that I will still be with her in the next life.Every woman should become such a believer and become the strongest backing for men when they are hesitant.

Work makes women more confident

For women, there always seems to be a dilemma, the choice between work and family.After marriage, many women are willing to give up their careers, retire to the family, and become full-time housewives.In contrast, some women don't give in to men. Even if they are married, they will defend their careers to the death, and want to realize their own value through the success of their careers.So, which kind of woman is more attractive to men?People have different opinions on this.Some people say that it is not good for women to be too independent and self-improving, and they are not feminine; others say that women cannot be attached to men, let alone lose themselves, and must maintain personality and economic independence, which is conducive to the maintenance of love.In fact, a truly excellent woman can find a balance between family and career, and become the perfect marriage partner in the minds of men.

For this long-standing problem between husband and wife, psychologist Skar Lunard once conducted a survey among many men.The content of the survey is as follows: Are you willing to marry a woman who has no job before marriage?Almost all men answered "no".Are you willing to let your wife become a full-time housewife after marriage so that they can work with peace of mind?Except for a few men with meager income, the vast majority of men answered "yes".Why is there such a huge contrast?It can even be said that the answers of the men are simply contradictory.Men want to marry a woman who works before marriage, and then want women to give up their jobs and return to their families after marriage.In this regard, the famous interpersonal relationship expert Connard Stark said: "An independent woman often has her own career, and the brave, strong, and confident temperament they show is better than those who wear gold and silver and only rely on others." Vase-like women are more attractive." Most men gave a simple answer: It is difficult for a woman without a job to attract a man.Men believe that women who do not work tend to be highly dependent and unable to be independent when things happen.You know, for any man, he is unwilling to live with a woman who is not self-reliant.

Indeed, the unique charisma displayed by independent women enables them to win recognition and admiration from both the same sex and the opposite sex.To be honest, I was drawn to my wife, Dorothy, precisely because of her excellence at work.Whenever I watch her concentrate on her work and make decisive decisions when needed, I think she has a unique charm.In modern society, the view that women should stay at home is obviously outdated.

Ms. Elus, the financial advisor of Thomas Investment Company in the United States, once publicly stated: "No matter the degree of education, women should enter the society and work within their capabilities. Women should firmly grasp their own destiny, and not pin their lifelong happiness on On men." As for the maverick Ms. Elus, although many men would feel ashamed when faced with her shrewdness and resoluteness, they respect and admire her from the bottom of their hearts."There's something about Elus that's just irresistible," said a man who only met him once.

Of course, not all women have their own subjectivity and careers like Elus.In order to concentrate on taking care of the family, a lady resigned after getting married and became a housewife.However, due to family changes, their family's economy fell into crisis.Although she wanted to go out to work, she worried that her husband would object.With my encouragement, she plucked up the courage to tell her husband what she thought, but to her surprise, her husband happily expressed his support and said, "That's great, actually I've had this idea for a long time, and I'm just worried that you don't want it. She was surprised that her husband would answer this way, and the husband said frankly: "We are both the pillars of the family. Since the whole family relies on me to work alone, I feel a lot of pressure. I am very happy that you can take the initiative to share for me. Moreover, the life of a housewife in recent years has made you gradually withdraw from society and become a little decadent. From the bottom of my heart, I still prefer the radiant you who are working. You were more charming then."

Although the word "decadence" sounds ugly, it is indeed a state faced by many housewives.Facing a life that does not change day after day, they are gradually out of touch with society, and the radius of their lives is getting smaller and smaller.Many housewives will even lose the common language with their husbands because of this, making it extremely boring for the husband to chat with her, and even affecting the relationship between husband and wife.The wife's nagging problem, which is a headache for many husbands, is also significantly different between housewives and professional women.Under normal circumstances, housewives will become more and more nagging as time goes by, while professional women have work to worry about, so they seldom nag on trivial things that are not worth mentioning.

Although most women now understand the importance of work, and a considerable number of women are determined to return to the workplace, but I have to emphasize that: work itself cannot increase your charm, only to devote yourself to work and enjoy it, Women will have a special charm if they truly treat their work as a career.In contrast, those women who work for a salary and work to cope with life will only complain and complain.I think a smart woman must know what to do!Find a job you love, devote yourself to it, and you will be reborn!

make yourself full and rich
In the hectic life, many people look forward to a leisurely vacation.As the flavoring agent of life, holidays always make people look forward to it.However, if every day of life is a holiday, the originally glamorous holiday will become flat, boring, and monotonous, and such a life is far from being happy.Monotony is a living nightmare for anyone.The monotonous life always makes us feel that there is no change day after day, year after year, and makes us feel that everything is dull.Therefore, if we want to make ourselves happy and happy, we must make our lives full and rich.

Women who have more free time and are emotionally sensitive seem to feel more monotonous than men who work all day and have a lot of nerves.In the training class, female students complained to me almost every day: "My life is too boring, and I repeat those boring and trivial things every day, which is no fun at all." Whenever I hear this kind of complaint, I always ask them: "Ladies, what do you usually do in your spare time?" At this time, the ladies who complained about the monotony of life just now immediately beamed with joy. Some of them like to watch movies, and some often go to Gym, and some said they like to take care of flowers and plants.When I invited a lady named Dolly to introduce her collection of kitchenware magazines, she was like a different person. She no longer felt that life was boring, but proudly introduced to me what she knew about kitchenware.She talked for a long time, her face was full of joy and happiness.

I was very relieved and said to Ms. Dolly: "Congratulations, your life is not monotonous at all." Ms. Dolly asked me puzzledly: "Mr. Carnegie, I didn't do anything, is the problem solved?" ?” I smiled and said, “Although your family is not rich and you don’t have extra money for consumption and entertainment, you have your own interests and hobbies. Thinking of your beloved kitchenware magazines, do you still feel that life Bored?" Ms. Dolly suddenly realized that she had found a way to make herself happy.

(End of this chapter)