FBI super mind-reading technique: teach you instant insight into people's hearts

Chapter 12 The Clues of Emotions (2)
Below, we try to use some normal life conditions to analyze happy emotions:
Adore
We often face the question: "What do you like about him (her)?" The most literary answer is: "I like it, and I don't know what I like about him (her). He questioned the psychology of love, but chose to escape.Human beings' love for the opposite sex is an instinct, and long-term evolution has not eliminated it, because love is the basis of reproduction.

Since the beginning of primitive society, the ultimate goal of human beings in pursuing a partner is to reproduce.On the basis of this purpose, there are naturally some criteria and conditions for choosing a partner, such as good health and superior ability.In the process of continuous progress of civilization, human beings have more conditions in choosing a partner, such as body shape, appearance, knowledge, wealth, status, and so on.In fact, in the final analysis, the emergence of many conditions is due to the expectation of reproduction.A good figure and good looks are the expectations for their health; knowledgeable, wealthy families, and high status are the expectations for their abilities.

The reason why we fall in love with someone must be that some conditions in him (her) meet or exceed our expectations.Especially women's choice of men can embody this kind of expectation.For example, almost every girl likes the story of Prince Charming, don't bite the bullet and say you don't like it, it's not a shameful thing.Since primitive society, men's division of labor has been all things related to strength, such as hunting and farming, because the structure of fat and muscle makes men more suitable for these things.So of course, a man's strong figure and fertile fields have become important conditions for attracting the opposite sex.It is perfectly normal for women to have expectations of these conditions.Let’s go back to Prince Charming. The white horse represents wealth, and the prince represents noble status. This is actually the most primitive expectation of women in choosing a mate.

But there is a question that has to be considered, does he (she) like me too?To be more specific, does the person who meets all my conditions also like me, and whether we can combine and reproduce in the end.No one can give us an accurate answer, so we always have a normal psychological expectation in our hearts, that is, "the other party doesn't like me".No matter how capable or how high your status is, this expectation will arise during a one-way romance.When you get the message "I like you too" from the other party, because it greatly exceeds the original expectation, you will become very happy and happy.

success
The content of success is very broad, but it can also be understood as a stage term: during the school period, it is success to be admitted to university, and success is to graduate smoothly; it is success to enter the society, find a job, and it is success to have the first pot of gold. A thriving career is success.

Let's talk about studying first.In the stage of schooling, the problem that students must face is grades.The quality of the grades depends on the mastery of the usual learning content.Students are always worried about whether there will be content in this exam that I don't know.When you get the test paper and find that 90% of the content is what you have already mastered, you will feel happy.Another aspect is the expectation of the exam ranking.Students basically have their own positioning in the previous rankings. For example, if they always take the 15th place in the test, then 15th place becomes a normal expectation.When the rankings are released, you will be happy to find that you have come in 13th, exceeding your normal expectations.It was a big surprise that my classmates who were usually comparable to me were not as good as me.

The same is true for the happiness brought by being on the list after the college entrance examination.No matter how good your academic performance is, when faced with whether you can be admitted to your ideal university, you will always worry about failure.When I learned that I was admitted to the ideal university, my low expectations were surpassed, which means that I have successfully passed the first major turning point in my life, and the future will be much better than if I did not enter the university. Naturally, it is something to be thankful for.

Like studying, job hunting and career development also have the possibility of failure and being denied, so people will have worries in their hearts.After getting affirmation and appreciation, worrying expectations are broken, and joy will naturally be revealed.

watch a comedy show
The happiness brought by comedy performance is different from the happiness brought by love and success. It brings more satisfaction to people because of the gap and contrast.

The most typical comedy character with a drop effect is the clown, and there are clown-like characters in almost all comedy performances.They appear dull and humble, they are teased everywhere, and they can't even do an ordinary thing well.This kind of role will give the audience a sense of superiority, which greatly satisfies the sense of accomplishment that people cannot get in their daily lives.

Contrast effects generally refer to comic effects that run counter to normal logic, such as nonsensical comedy.Whether it's characters or plot design, nonsensical comedies challenge people's normal logical thinking. For example: a graceful and beautiful woman opens her mouth with a man's voice;This deviation from normal logic forms a good contrast and becomes a joke.Of course, this is also inseparable from the clown-like characters and the drop effect.

Both the drop and contrast effects please the audience through the reduction of the character's status and the reversal of the plot. In fact, the effect is also beyond people's subjective expectations, thus making people feel happy.

Anger is like this
Anger is a terrible negative emotion because it is destructive.If it is disgust or fear, you can go a little farther away, but after the anger arises, it is difficult for the person involved to vent it by leaving. Instead, he has to keep approaching to give the other party a sense of threat.

There are many things that can make people angry: grabbing a seat and not getting it, designs being plagiarized, children being disobedient, things being stolen, taxi drivers not stopping in the cold wind, computers crashing at critical moments, uneven distribution of benefits, different opinions...

No matter how many things make people angry, there is only one root cause, that is, the development of things is lower than subjective expectations, thus forming a strong sense of threat.Of course, feelings of threat can also generate fear and loathing.When your strength is far lower than that of the opponent, you will feel fear; when you feel that the opponent is not worthy of fighting with you, you will feel disgusted; When facing the other party, anger will arise.

This sense of anger has also evolved all the way from primitive society, and has not been eliminated for thousands of years.In the early days of human beings, people lived in a land with beasts.The main food of people is the meat of wild animals, so hunting is the original way of survival of human beings.When hunting, humans set traps or chase wild animals, and if the beast escapes, people feel angry.Because there is no prey, I don't know what to eat when I go back, and there is a threat of starvation.With the development of civilization, failing to catch prey also becomes a manifestation of incompetence, and is likely to be ridiculed and ridiculed.

Besides food, the most primitive form of anger comes from aggression.Whether it is an animal or a human being, they all have their own turf, which is a symbol of identity and status. If an enemy invades, anger will naturally arise.However, the anger at this time is divided into two situations, one is slightly stronger, and the other is slightly weaker.When a stronger lord is invaded, he will have this mentality: You are not as good as me, and you have come to provoke me. Obviously, you don't take me seriously, so you must teach you a lesson.If a weaker lord is invaded, he will have this mentality: If I lose, my family property, my wife and children, and my own life will be threatened. territory.

Today, the stimuli for anger are not limited to food and territory, just look at our lives.

restrained capacity
Anyone who is tied by a rope will be angry, but in our real life, there are many invisible ropes that bind us and constantly provoke our anger.

Parents want their children to be multi-talented. The so-called multi-talentedness is not only for cultivating sentiment, but more importantly, for children to have a better future.Therefore, parents began to cultivate their children's artistic sentiment, let them learn piano, violin, painting, calligraphy, dancing, singing... After school or on weekends, children must do one or two hours of homework after finishing their homework. art training.For children, non-stop exercise is more in line with their expectations, such as going out to chase and fight with children.You can try to pick up a toddler, and he will definitely break free from your arms, and if he struggles to do so, he will blush, yell, and breathe rapidly, which is a sign of anger.It is undoubtedly a torment for a child who craves to sit there and practice art. They want to resist, but they have to submit to the majesty of their parents, which creates a sense of restraint.The longer the feeling of restraint, the greater the negative emotions, until finally it turns into anger, which manifests itself as quarrel.Anger turns to sadness and disgust when the yelling is blamed by the parents.

Not only parents have a sense of bondage to their children, but also between lovers or husband and wife.For example, you don't want the other party to make more friends with the opposite sex, you don't want the other party to wear revealing clothes, and so on.When you just established a relationship, you may regard the other party's many "nos" as love, but after a long time, a strong sense of restraint will fill your heart.You will feel that your ability to behave is controlled and restricted, and you have lost your freedom.At this time, anger will follow and turn into quarrels again and again.

The process of reaching the goal is hindered
If you've ever run a race, you can understand the rage that comes when there's an obstacle on the track.Could have gotten a better position, but lost it when he tripped over a rock on the track.In real life, much of our anger comes from getting stuck in our goal process, the most typical example of which is being stuck in traffic.

When people are stuck in traffic, people are very irritable, because the expected time of arrival at the destination is forced to be postponed, which may bring a series of negative effects, such as being late for work and being deducted from wages, being late to meet customers and not signing a contract, which in turn will bring Unfavorable consequences in career and life - less money earned, ability denied, and promotion opportunity lost.At the thought of this, irritability can quickly escalate into anger.Conversely, if the day is leisurely, with no work to be done and no place to go, then the traffic jam will not trigger anger, because there is no goal to be achieved, and there is no progress blocked.

break agreement
Situation A
Female: "Why did you come here? I have been waiting for you for a long time."

Man: "I'm sorry, I've been delayed due to something, I'm really sorry, my dear."

Female: "Don't eat."

Case B
Buy: "If you didn't agree to keep it for me, why did you sell it to someone else?"

Sell: "I bought it on the spot, so I have to sell it. Next time, I will let you know when it arrives next time."

Buy: "No next time, no credit."

Both situation A and situation B are anger caused by breaking the agreement. On the surface, what is lost is an appointment or a piece of goods, but in essence, the parties feel threatened.When a man is late for a date, the woman feels unappreciated and is threatened with possible dumping.When the goods are sold to others, there are two threats: one is that they feel disrespected and their dignity has been violated; the other is that the goods are gone and they will not be able to use them in a short time, which may affect their life or work .

Competing for interests
Anger over competing interests should be common.

The leaders of the two departments fight for the right to design and execute the same product. They hand over the best design works selected by their respective departments to the customer, and the customer chooses which one to use.If there is healthy competition, then the chances of angry outbursts are small.If one side uses unfair means to win the final victory, then the other side will definitely be furious.This is not only a question of whether you can launch the design results of your own department, but also related to whether you can be valued by the boss and whether you can get business commissions and other issues.The design is adopted, which naturally means that the ability is affirmed, and there will be spread in the circle, and the subordinates will work harder because of this, and the probability of promotion will be greatly increased; while the rejected party will naturally be affected by promotion, public opinion, economics and other aspects. pressure.

The same is true of rivalries.As introduced in the previous "Happy Heart", when people choose a partner, they are all based on excellent reproductive genes.When a rival in love appears, they will naturally be threatened by losing their excellent reproductive genes, so they will become angry, physically uncontrollable, and may eventually turn into a violent fight.

"You can not"

This is a negative attitude, which deepens as the tone becomes stronger. It may be just a look of contempt, but it is enough to arouse people's anger.When most people are faced with negative, they will be angry, even out of breath.In fact, this is a reaction that all animals will have.

An owner who took his two-year-old dog to an animal psychologist said his dog had become irritable after a long trip, even baring its canine teeth at the owner.The psychologist asked the owner to describe in detail the experience of this trip. It sounded very ordinary, that is, he took the dog to live in a friend's manor for a while.A friend also has several dogs, and he thinks his dogs will be happy because they have more companions.Unexpectedly, his dog became listless on the second day of his stay in the manor, refused to approach the dogs in the manor, and even hid in the corner and could not come out.Upon his return, his dog became irritable.

The psychologist took a closer look at the dog, and there was nothing unusual about it, except for the colorful clothes it was wearing.The psychologist asked the owner if he also wore such clothes for the dog when he went to the manor.The owner said yes, and he didn’t wear it at home, but he was going to visit friends in the manor, and felt that dressing up the dog could show his unique taste, so as not to lose face in front of friends.The psychologist asked again whether the dogs on the manor grew up naturally, without restraint and without clothes.The owner said it was right, the dogs in the manor were very fierce, they almost kept the nature of dogs, and their fur was beautiful.

After these questions and answers, the psychologist finally found the problem.He told the dog's owner that the dog had been belittled by the estate's dogs for wearing clothes.In the eyes of human beings, the fur of animals is just a matter of beauty or not. In the animal world, the fur of animals represents whether the blood is pure, whether the race is good, and the status of the status. Moreover, they admire the natural form and like to run freely.Another very important point is the smell, which is one of the important ways for them to establish a friendly relationship.A dog in clothes is like a human being who has been stripped naked, looking pitiful and different in front of the same kind.Without the fur that symbolizes race, blood and status, and without the taste of the same kind, people will naturally be despised and excluded.

Once an animal is despised, it means the loss of authority and loss of territory, which is a major event that threatens its living environment.As a result, dogs become hostile when treated with slights, especially to humans who dress them.If the dog had been clothed from birth, and most of the others around him were, things might not have gotten so bad.

Since the development of civilization, being underestimated or denied can threaten the living environment of human beings.If your ability is denied, it will be difficult to be reused, and you will not even be able to find a decent job.This directly brings financial pressure, as well as the pressure of starting a family.Anger erupts naturally in the face of such a threat.

"can you?"

This kind of psychological question usually appears when provocative, and it brings out the meaning of "I want to see if you can do it", "You can do it or I can do it".The provocative person usually wants to see the other party respond in a violent way, so he will try his best to use this mentality and tone to irritate the other party.

However, the provocative tone of "Can you do it?" is still relatively light.The meaning behind this tone is "I am very capable, it depends on your strength", this tone is more gentle and relatively sincere.If the person being provoked is a stable person, then he has to think about whether to accept the provocation, because he can feel that his strength is weaker than the opponent.If there is no outsider to fan the flames, the person being provoked is likely to choose to escape.But if the provocateur uses the tone of "I don't think you can do it, even if you fight, you will lose", it will easily arouse the anger of the person being provoked.Those who are provoked will expect to use practical actions to prove that they are not weak and that the other party's judgment is wrong.The more this is the case, the more the person being provoked must stay awake and control his anger, because this is likely to be a "provoking method".

"He, he can't!"

This is the ability to deny others in front of others, which can be damaging to the reputation of the person being denied and can easily lead to anger.Fame is a business card for the existence of human society, which records many important information of this person.People hope to use this business card to build a beneficial social circle for themselves, so as to achieve their various purposes.Once the information on this business card is wrong, it will directly threaten the living environment of the person concerned.Just do a quick search online and you'll see plenty of celebrities fighting court battles for their reputations.To a certain extent, reputation is a bargain in exchange for a better life, and its damage will undoubtedly reduce the quality of life of the person concerned in the future, and will inevitably arouse anger.

These are common stimuli for anger, and they, in various forms, threaten people's survival and reproduction, thus fueling anger.

Now, it's time to discuss angry expressions.

All the expressions people make when they are angry are to attack or drive away the other party. Once the stimulation exceeds the bottom line, it will turn into physical movements and evolve into a fight.Because the body mobilized all available power to attack in a short period of time, the power of the outburst of anger was astonishing, and the duration was relatively short.

Likewise, the face uses all the muscles it can to complete a full, angry expression.Thus, a full angry expression changes the face from eyebrows to chin.

(End of this chapter)