Time carved for no reason

Chapter 28 Chapter Seven (1)
All coincidences in the world are nothing more than psychological effects. For example, when a woman who is tempted accidentally meets you, you must feel that it is God's intentional arrangement, but you never thought that when you did not meet this woman, you and some Strange faces meet many times inadvertently, and you never notice.Xueqian will encounter such an exciting coincidence recently.

The first activity of the tennis club was a tennis theory class, and Xueqian was excited to find that the girl was also present.The girl was wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap, Converse sneakers, a purple tank top, and denim shorts.Xueqian thanked herself from the bottom of her heart for joining the tennis club. This must be God's arrangement, but there was a boy beside her laughing with her. Judging by his demeanor, he didn't seem to have just met her. Could it be her boyfriend?Feeling sad for a while.After class, Xueqian plucked up the courage to run out of the classroom first, and saw that the girl had also left the classroom. The boy seemed to be going to the bathroom, so the girl stood outside the door and waited.Xueqian pretended to bend over to tie his shoelaces. He didn't know how long he had been tying them. He just felt that everyone was gone, so he stood up and found that the girl was still there, and the girl also noticed that Xueqian was looking at her. Recognizing Xueqian, he exclaimed, "You? Not...?"

Xueqian pretended: "So it was you? Did you come to tennis lessons too?"

The girl twisted her legs and said, "Do you think I look like a tennis player?"

Xueqian became a little more at ease, and said, "Why don't you look like me? Do you think I look like me? I'm so thin, so I don't look like me. Didn't I sign up?"

The girl smiled and said, "No, I came with someone else."

Xueqian held back his frustrated expression, and still said with a smile: "Who? Is your boyfriend... a friend?"

"No, I'm so fierce. Is there anyone else? Where's my boyfriend? It's just a classmate."

Xueqian wished he could say: "Why can't I want it, I just want it." But resisted the cliché and said: "How can there be? There are many people chasing you, not to accompany your boyfriend, but at least someone you like."

The girl smiled again: "I'm thirsty today, I'm too lazy to talk, so I won't argue with you. By the way, I forgot to ask last time in Phoenix, what's your name?"

Xueqian told the truth, and she smiled again: "It's such an elegant name, but it also matches your appearance. If you call it "Wei" or "Gang" or something, it would be funny."

Xueqian smiled and said, "My surname is not Yang, so why am I called Wei." The girl reacted, pretending to punch him, pouted and said: "You little rascal, I didn't expect you to be quite dishonest." Xueqian listened to her He said that he was not serious, but it seemed that he heard the praise, his whole body was hot, like a battery being charged, and he boldly asked: "Then it's your turn, what's your name? Which courtyard?"

"You're getting excited, aren't you? It's like checking the household registration. My surname is Qian. My first name is Siyao. I'm from the Academy of Arts."

Xueqian didn't think of a response, and he didn't want to end this rare conversation, so he said politely: "I'm so professional, I wanted to learn to draw when I was in high school, but I'm too stupid, I can't learn well, and I can't draw well in perspective. And I don’t know how to compose pictures, so I feel a little pity now.”

"Since you know that you are stupid and can't learn Chinese well, it will be useless to learn it. There is no such thing as a pity. You should learn your own Chinese honestly."

Xueqian was surprised again: "Do you know that I study Chinese?"

"Isn't it? I have an impression that you learned this. I remember you said it when you were in Phoenix."

"Yes, yes. You have a really good memory. People with a good memory are good at learning Chinese. You can learn Chinese well if you change my major, but I can't do it if I change your major."

"What a sweet mouth. Don't shoot me here, do you have any intentions?" A joke that was meant to be a natural fit, accidentally talked about Zhong Xueqian's thoughts, Xueqian couldn't control his shyness and said: " Where did I come up with this plan?"

"It's fine if you don't try. Little mosquito, I'm leaving, my friend is here." Xueqian accepted her nickname without any objection, and with a glance, the boy was indeed walking towards this direction, shaking his hands on his face. Xueqian knew that he had no reason not to keep it, and was about to say goodbye, but he almost forgot because he remembered something, so he hurriedly asked for the phone number, Qian Siyao told him straightforwardly, Xueqian said goodbye: "Then I Let's go, with your phone, I can take care of me in the future." After saying that, he ran away excitedly.

Before going to bed, Xueqian always felt that he had forgotten something, and pretended to be confused with himself, as if he had an obligation to text Qian Siyao.It would be rude and disrespectful not to send it, only to send "good night" to recognize that this is a perfect encounter, and it carries the possibility of a better development in the future.Xueqian knows that "good night" is the best way to tempt a woman. Generally speaking, "goodbye" is just a subconscious politeness, while "good night" is a deliberate demeanor and concern.Xueqian struggled for a while, closed his eyes and sent the already typed "good night", blindly pressing the number keys, expecting to press a wrong key, send the wrong one, and hope that he did not send the wrong one, after all, it still did not Wrong post, this is God's will.Xueqian even heard his own heartbeat, lying on the bed waiting for the reply of the text message, and simply turned off the ringer, so that receiving the text message seemed natural, Xueqian pretended to fall asleep, but couldn't help but look at the screen, Xueqian is repeatedly disappointed by the phone's incomprehensible style.Xueqian was going to sleep in disappointment, "Maybe she never thought it was me who sent the text message, she left in a hurry, and forgot to let her remember my phone number, it shows that she is a reserved girl and never responds to strange text messages Yes." While comforting himself like this, the phone turned on and a text message was received!Xueqian turned over to check, finally swallowed his heart and pressed "check".The text message was very simple, asking Xueqian who it was, Xueqian hurriedly sent another one, and Qian Siyao replied quickly, although it was just "Oh, good night".The three words are so simple that they couldn't be more simple, it can be seen that she is so reserved, but it is enough for Xueqian to think that it is a perfect start.

In the middle of the night, Xueqian woke up, only felt that her underwear was wet, she had just had a dream, it seemed that He Wenxuan was in love with her, but the drowsiness came again, and she fell asleep again in a daze.When he woke up again, it was already noon, and Fan Jian was eating breakfast. Seeing that he was awake, he told him: "Last night, the student union was elected in the courtyard. Director Bi asked you to go there and get acquainted." Xueqian hurried over, and there was already a The meeting was over, Director Bi smiled and said: "I'll just wait for you, what a big air." Xueqian raised his head embarrassedly, seeing Ma Tianwei smiling at him, felt that something was wrong, so he just smiled back stiffly.Director Bi saw that everyone was here, and said with a smile: "It's nothing serious today. The student union's new recruitment defense was over last night. Three people were selected in the freshman year. Ma Tianwei was elected as the general manager of the freshman year. Congratulations to Jia Zhong, who was elected as the secretary." The applause was thunderous, Xueqian clapped even more fiercely, and Director Bi explained some recent things, but we need to strengthen cooperation, and we need to work more with these three students in class matters. communication and so on.Director Bi especially pointed at Xueqian: "Xueqian, last time I went to audit your class, you actually took the lead in sleeping, hehe, what are you doing at night? Now Ma Tianwei listened well, help me supervise the class monitor, You can’t just supervise others, the squad leader also needs democratic supervision.” Xueqian said yes of course, and Ma Tianwei also looked at Xueqian with a smile.

As soon as I got back to the dormitory, I heard Zhang Haoran scolding Xueqian, "Fuck it, let's divide it, let's not talk about it, anyway, I have been in it anyway." Xueqian asked carefully, only to know that Zhang Haoran was broken in love, Young people cannot escape love and broken love, just like natural people cannot escape life and death. People in love are infinitely close to the day of breaking up every day, but breaking up is not like death, and they often die suddenly. Zhang Haoran died suddenly many times, and he has already been beaten into an old man. fritters.For him, breaking up has become a kind of capital, like a person who has escaped many times, can introduce the experience of adventure to others.Breaking up is not terrible, but whoever proposes it is the key. Zhang Haoran is proud and never allows others to kick him, but he always gets kicked, which aggravates his contempt for women. For him, spiritual feelings are imagined , and physical joy is the essence of life. Every time he starts a relationship, he is ready for the countdown, but being kicked is unpleasant after all, just like being hacked to death is definitely not euthanasia.So he turned into a poet and a resentful man, telling his stories whenever he saw people, nothing more than the truth met the falsehood, and his painstaking efforts were let down.When everyone tells their tragic past, the language is extremely fluent and full of storytelling, and the climax and ending are always complete.Zhang Haoran felt empty after his orgasm, so he could only sigh involuntarily: "This woman, this woman." Xue Qian comforted him to think about it, maybe there is a possibility of reconciliation, Zhang Haoran vetoed: "No, she just When I went to school, she told me that she recognized her brother, and I knew something bad happened. You know, there are only two possibilities for recognizing my sister. The woman took the initiative, but this man had no choice but to recognize her as a younger sister in order to draw a clear line. She is not ugly, and no matter how ugly a woman is now, she is not worried about being wanted by anyone. She just went to school and no one takes care of her. It's normal to be taken advantage of, forget it, people are trivial matters, and it doesn't matter to be taken advantage of by others, I just can't swallow this breath.

shit! "

Xueqian hurriedly said: "That's true, women are nothing at all!" His tone was so firm that there was no doubt about it, and he felt guilty.

Zhang Haoran sighed and said: "Sometimes I even have a ridiculous idea, I want to continue to treat her well, tell her that I am still waiting for her, thinking about her, she can come back anytime, I will welcome her, if this really becomes a reality , I might be moved to tears, what do you think?"

"You still can't let her go, and look forward to the day when she changes her mind."

"That's not true. I don't love her very much. I understand that love is a great emotion. The most direct expression is strong possession. Last time I heard a friend say that when you love someone, you possess her. When you are in love with someone, you will think about her and consider her future life. I think this may not be true. When you really love someone, you think about the deepest possession, the fastest possession, for fear that other men will defile her. She doesn't feel that way, you know, she's just, just a life-like thing, similar to the foundation of your life, the starting point. Without this untenable thing, she is not the source and primer of your passion, but without her , but you don’t have the confidence to keep going.”

Xueqian seemed to think of He Wenxuan, and at this moment, he felt like a hero who met Zhang Haoran. Regret is untenable, and resentment is unreasonable.Xueqian couldn't help feeling that the hero was short of breath, so he took the conversation away and told Zhang Haoran all about He Wenxuan. After Zhang Haoran listened, he smiled contemptuously: "You are like me, you can't really love her, even though she is you Unforgettable first love, great love only exists in ideals, and it is precisely because it cannot exist in this world that we think it is good. Human feelings are nothing but the result of low-level sensual desires disguised by delicate tulle. No matter how disguised, the final purpose It will reveal all the truth, and at that time, any so-called true love, heartache, and like-mindedness will not become the goal, only the most primitive possession."

Xueqian retorted: "That's not necessarily the case. I don't have that kind of thought about her. I just want to look at her from a distance, and that's enough."

Zhang Haoran laughed and shook his head, shaking the bench, he was stumped by Xueqian's counter-evidence, at this moment, in order to delay the time, to show Xueqian's humble knowledge, the smile seemed to be a proof that penetrates everything, proving the inferiority of the opponent.Zhang Haoran thought about the answer, and asked with a smile: "If you and her reconcile and get back together, what do you decide to do?"

"Then let's talk about it, it's very simple."

"and then?"

"And then what?"

"Then what do you do?" Zhang Haoran squinted his eyes, with a sly and sinister expression.

"I don't know. There's nothing to do, and at that point, I haven't planned the next step."

Zhang Haoran touched his nose with his hands, and said in the tone of a detective novelist revealing the final answer: "Xueqian, let me tell you, I have also thought about this problem, if my wife comes to me again, what will I do? Maybe I thought about a scene where she was hurt and came to me again, and I hugged her tightly, just hugged, and I would choke up and cry, but not cry out."

"It's too vulgar, I haven't thought about it that way." Xue Qian obviously thought about it, but because of his face, he didn't want to let Zhang Haoran guess it.

"Then let me continue. Maybe you have thought about it, but you should think about it from another angle. How will you settle the account when she left you so categorically? That scar will remain in history forever, and the future may not be the same. So flat, but history is always flat as hell, without any wrinkles, just like the smooth ass of a 15-year-old girl. The injury at that time is vivid in my memory, how can I forgive her? The time when I was cut with a knife for no reason, do you understand? I really want to forget that time, but I can’t. So the most likely and most balanced result is that I pretend to love her the same, or I still love her so much She, but I will make her feel that I am extremely reliable, when she thinks that I am extremely reliable, when she is ready to completely rely on me, leaving her is very thorough."

"This is really the most ruthless revenge, can you do it?" Xue Qian wanted to applaud.

"Maybe there will be unbearable, there will be procrastination. But sooner or later I will do it, and this is not under my control. Have you read Kieslowski's "White"? Love has always been fair by hatred and revenge. "

"Maybe it's unreasonable to do so. From an economic point of view, it's obviously not rational. It's not the best way. Since she is willing to reconcile with you. And you are sure to be extremely loyal, so why bother with each other like this?" harm?"

Zhang Haoran excitedly said: "Fucking rationality, what you see is too incomplete. This is the result of your so-called rationality. The worst thing about rationality is that the evaluation system completely tramples on the senses. Our rationality makes us Don’t you think it’s absurd that our senses are quietly resisting what we think is right, and our body and will are constantly fighting?”

Xueqian had nothing to say for a while.

Zhang Haoran said that he was addicted, and said: "Did you know? Men and women are just a relatively obvious reflection of human civilization. The balance of human society has never had anything to do with ideals. Modern people's ideals are achieved by so-called rationality, but the emergence of rationality For a hundred years, human happiness has not been improved. More and more theories are clogging up our brains. One theory always overwhelms the other. There is nothing worthy of our real belief. Rationality allows us to see clearly Apart from a few pubic hairs, which are of no great use, can't I think that my pubic hair and my hair are the same? What's the point of forcibly separating pubic hair and hair? In my opinion, any order of human beings It is reasonable, because no matter what order, happiness will not increase. Of course, I mean a stable order that people get used to. On the contrary, troubled times are more likely to stimulate people's genius and passion, and people yearn to build a beautiful era, but unwilling to give up living in a chaotic era. Nothing is more disgusting than a civilized era that makes you feel extremely ugly, but you can't resist, and doesn't provide you with a chance to resist."

Xueqian listened intently.

"This is the case in the current era. You feel that someone is stabbing you with a knife all the time, but you don't know where that person is. You even use reason to complain, and you can only resent yourself. Don't believe that any struggle can change yourself, but My words are also guided by rationality. You know, if you see something clearly, it will be boring. This is why scientists can’t appreciate poetry about the moon. Our modern society is like a riddled with holes. The machine, the nut presses the screw, and the screw presses the steel pipe. It is full of collisions all the time. It is useless for you to complain. You are the screw, and you are destined to be hit by the hammer. You want to hit the hammer. In theory, you can, but It is not allowed in reality. Sometimes the real order takes a holiday, and you can also think that he is on holiday every moment to achieve balance. I went to revenge her for the so-called balance."

"But you also follow the guidance because of an idea, because you believe in it. No one tells you that this idea is correct."

"But when I do this, I feel good. It's right to feel good. I can feel it."

"Don't you think it's unfair? For her, you should at least give her a chance of redemption."

"The chance of redemption is given by yourself. Have you ever heard a poem? It's by a Russian poet named Zhdanov. I'll write it for you. It's very interesting."

Zhang Haoran grabbed the pen on the table and stroked for a long time. He couldn't write any words, and breathed on the tip of the pen. Finally, he wrote the words. After a while, a short foreign poem was written crookedly on the manuscript paper.

When the bird dies:
when the bird dies

Its weary bullets are also weeping
That bullet is like a bird

Its only purpose is to fly

After Zhang Haoran finished writing, his head was covered with sweat, and with a strawberry nose on his nose, he said: "This is the way the world is, no one can blame anyone. If I do something bad, it is definitely not my intention. I can only say that sometimes two people have different goals. In other words, any gain of one person is caused by the loss of another person, which can explain what I mean by "balance", just like Pippen is great enough, if there is no Jordan, he may be even greater. Although their goals are the same, and they did not intentionally distinguish each other, but Jordan's achievements are Pippen's inevitable regrets. The winner and the loser are equally important, but they are all innocent Victims, when I think of this, I am completely relieved. A person's realization always requires the sacrifice of others."

After Xueqian read the poem, he was embarrassed to admit that he didn't understand: "I'll read this poem later, please keep it here." After finishing speaking, he tore it up and randomly stuffed it in a book page on the shelf.

Zhang Haoran said: "Anyway, it's all about the past, so I won't mention it anymore. Do you have any goals now?"

(End of this chapter)