The blue-chip man loves the righteous woman: attacking the heart and capturing the love

Chapter 185 Unbearable Accident 1
Standing in front of the apartment, Shen Jiaman tremblingly took out the key and opened the door. The room was pitch black, not only dark but also gloomy and cold, colder than the outside.

She went in and turned on the light, and the incandescent lamp illuminated the room. The quilt on the bed hadn't been folded, and the room was very messy, and several barrels of leftover instant noodles had not been thrown away. She hasn't come back since the day she disappeared. These days, she came over every now and then. Every time she saw the lock on the door, she lost the courage to open the door, and just kept silent. Standing outside the door for a while, then left sadly...

Tears fell again, she took off her coat, and silently cleaned the room. She cleaned the room very clean, subconsciously thinking that the knife would come back, even though, that was simply unrealistic.

After sorting everything out, she began to search through boxes and cabinets, hoping to find some clues to prove that Xiaodao had unspeakable reasons for leaving without saying goodbye.

Finally, under the pillow, I found a yellowed diary, a thick one, judging from the date, it should have been written for several years, Shen Jiaman's heart was sore again, she never knew , It turns out that the knife still has the habit of writing a diary.

For a child who has not read much, being able to develop such a habit can only explain one thing. He has too much suffering in his heart and no one to talk to, so he can only write down all his thoughts. That is also a kind of emotional sustenance.

Open the first half, it is the record of Xiaodao's past wandering career, then open the second half, and turn to one of the pages, which reads——

"September [-]th, cloudy, I was beaten again the day before yesterday. I have forgotten how many times I was beaten. I thought I was going to die, but when I opened my eyes, I found that I was still alive. For a person like me who is born with a low life, I really don’t know if my vitality is too strong or my luck is too good to be able to live to this day. Something lucky happened to me, but this time, I seemed to be lucky once. I was rescued by a beautiful sister. She looked at me very much like my dead sister. When I first saw her, I I have the urge to cry, this is indeed my luck, the only luck I had when I was born in a mother's womb, I don't think I will encounter the same luck again, God has always been harsh on me..."

"On the sixth day of October, Qing, ever since I found out that my sister's boyfriend was the one I almost killed, I've been in a bad mood for the past few days. I've been tortured by the condemnation of my conscience, and I'm going crazy. I didn't intend to inquire about that man today. If I want to marry another woman, should I stop it or not? If I stop it, I will definitely die. I am not afraid of death, but if I die, what will my poor mother do? If I don’t stop it, my kind sister will What should I do? It's really distressing, can anyone tell me what should I do..."

"October 25, Qing, after a period of painful struggle, I finally decided to repay my sister's life-saving grace. I saw her on the street yesterday, separated by a lot of people. Her haggardness made me very sad. She Saved my life, but I took away her happiness, I am a bastard, a person who deserves to go to hell, I can't let myself live in guilt like this all my life, so mom, son I'm sorry for you, I think if If you are by my side, you will support my decision, because you are as kind as my sister, but if there is an afterlife, don't have a son like me again..."

"November [-]th, sunny, I walked out of the gate of the prison today. The sunlight outside made me unable to open my eyes. It was like a dream. Once I entered, I never thought I could come out again. I knew it was my sister who saved me again. , is there really such a kind person in this world? Knowing that I almost killed her boyfriend, but still obliged to save me, standing in the sun, I don't know whether I should cry or laugh Oh, how can I, Chen Dao, repay such kindness in this life..."

"November 25, Yin, I officially started working in my sister's boyfriend's company. Although I am still not used to it, I will work hard to get used to it and adapt. I will live a good life in the future and will never let down my sister's good intentions." Suffering, it was she who saved my broken life, so even for her, I have to live like a human being, sister, come on, I must be happy..."

"December 25, heavy snow..."

In fact, this is the last diary written by Xiaodao. Before Shen Jiaman read it again, she never thought that the content in it would have much impact on her.

"I'm in pain again, what should I do? I like a woman who is five years older than me. Is this an Oedipus plot? I don't know...but I am really attached. At the saddest moment, Those warm eyes looking at me, I can't stay here, otherwise I will disappoint my sister, and I will go crazy myself, desperately trying to protect the bloodless relationship between me and her, so Even if I try my best, I don't want to destroy this relationship, let alone destroy my sister's impression of me, so I can only leave, I can go anywhere, as long as there is no her in that place, tonight is Christmas, I will call her out At first, I wanted to say goodbye, I really didn't like to leave without saying goodbye, but when I saw my sister and her warm eyes, I couldn't say anything, I could only drink soju until I left At twelve o'clock in the morning, we came out of the burning hotel, and there was still light snow outside, she smiled and waved to me, then turned and left, she would never know, I stared at her back For a long, long time, I said a thousand words and ten thousand words, I’m sorry, but I still couldn’t say goodbye, I’m so glad, I’m glad that the pure family relationship between us was not destroyed at this last moment..."

With a bang, the heavy diary slipped from Shen Jiaman's hand to the floor. She never dreamed that such a change would occur in Xiaodao's heart, and even less that Xiaodao was silent for such a reason. leave loudly...

Bending down in pain, she covered her face with her hands, and wept bitterly. Tears oozed from between her fingers and dripped on the diary. Her heart was never so chaotic, and she suddenly didn't know what to do.

After crying for a long time, she put the diary in her bag and left the apartment where Xiaodao lived.

Wandering on the street like a lost soul, she stopped in front of a bar, feeling really sad in her heart, she has always been a person who followed the rules, but for the first time in her life, she had the idea of ​​wanting to indulge once , I really want to go in and have a few drinks, although I know I don't have much alcohol.

Walking in in a daze, the neon lights were shining, the rock music was deafening, and the excited smiles on the faces of those twisting their waists formed a sharp contrast with the sad expression on her face at this time.

I found a corner and sat down, ordered a few bottles of red wine, and drank by myself. The bottom of a bottle of wine didn't take long, but her mind was still clear, staring at the empty bottle for 5 minutes and couldn't move it. Open your eyes, did she drink it alone?She began to question, does wine naturally turn into water when people are sad?
The mobile phone in her pocket vibrated violently. She took it out and saw that it was Lin Chuan's number. She was startled, not knowing whether to answer it or not. At this time, she actually just wanted to be alone quietly.

The vibration stopped, and a text message was received: "Pick up the phone, I have something to talk about."

She sniffed and called back, and the other end was connected quickly, "What's the matter?" she asked.

"Where's the file I gave you last time? I'm going to use it now."

"Are you still in the company?"

She asked a little vaguely, her mind felt dizzy, and the tables and chairs in front of her began to dance.

"Well, I will be on vacation tomorrow, so I will work overtime today."

Lin Chuan heard the noisy voice on the phone, and asked uncertainly, "Are you at the bar?"

(End of this chapter)