In your 20s, you must understand the wisdom of success

Chapter 12: Successful Relationships (1)
(Chapter 1 Love - Harvesting the Ears of Love
The famous writer Wang Xiaobo said: "I live in this world just to understand some truths and meet some interesting things." In fact, the most important life of Wang Xiaobo himself may not lie in how many truths he understands and how many interesting things he sees. It's about the kind of people he met and the kind of emotions he had with them.His intimate letters with his lover, dialogues and exchanges with friends and neighbors produced the truths and interesting things he said, and the communication between people is always the theme of anyone's life.

In the family, young people have the care and love of relatives, and when they leave the family, they are accompanied by seniors, teachers, and friends.There will definitely be many problems caused by emotions, and everything boils down to the word "love" in the end.Family, friendship, love, etc., are full of our life, which makes this life different and special.

Enjoy the beauty of emotions, but also bear the heavy emotional pressure; enjoy the happiness when getting along with others, but also accept the loneliness when you are alone, this is a complete and vivid life.

Beautiful love is what every young person wishes for.Standing at the intersection of youth, are you also looking forward to it?But to get true love, are you ready?As the saying goes, "Fate depends on destiny, and distribution depends on man's work." When pursuing beautiful love, we should know some art of love.

choose your love rationally

The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates had three disciples. They came to Socrates and said to him: "We want to find a lover, but we don't know how to find it. Please give us some advice." Socrates replied Say: "The three of you are going to do one thing, and in the process of doing it, you will know what the answer is."

He asked his three disciples to walk the wheat ridge, which is the kind of path in the wheat field.He said: "Each of you goes from one end to the other. You are only allowed to go forward and not to turn back. From the beginning to the end, you have to pick one ear of wheat, one ear of wheat that you think is the best and the biggest."

The results of it?When the first disciple walked 1/3 of the way, he saw a large and beautiful ear of wheat, so he was very happy and quickly picked it off.After picking it off, he walked again. After walking for a while, he saw that the ear in front was as big as the one he picked, but he could only pick one ear and could not change it.Looking again, the other ear is bigger than this one.He didn't choose the biggest and best one, so he had to walk the whole journey full of regrets.

The second disciple learned from the experience of the first disciple. He said: "I can't make a decision so easily." He walked, walked, and when he was about to pick an ear, he thought again: " If I pick this ear, what should I do if I meet the best one in the future?” Until the end of the day, the opportunity has passed, and if I don’t pick another ear of wheat, I will finish my journey, but the teacher said that I must pick it He had no choice but to pick the one that he thought was the biggest.In fact, he didn't pick the biggest one.

When it came to the third disciple, he synthesized the lessons of the two disciples.When he walked 1/3 of the wheat ridge, he began to observe.He observes that there are three kinds of wheat, and he divides them into three kinds.There are large, medium and small sizes.Presumably one size belongs to large, that size belongs to medium, and the other size belongs to small.Then he walked for a while to verify whether his classification was correct. When he had 1/3 of the distance left, he chose a large ear of wheat, and he walked the whole distance with satisfaction.

Love is sincere and pure, and it is equal respect and active giving of warmth and happiness by both parties.If you don't want to cause harm to others or add some bumps to your own path, you have to be rational when making choices, keep your eyes open, and give sincerely.

be realistic about love
When Mozart was 21 years old, he went out with his mother for the second performance tour.On the way to Paris, when passing through the city of Manhan, Mozart met a German girl named Aleishia.This girl had a beautiful singing voice like a silver bell, and Mozart was completely fascinated by her.He persuaded his mother to stay in Manhan for a long time under the pretext of teaching Aleisha vocal music.In order to repay Mozart's kindness, the girl gave him her heart. Mozart was very grateful for this, and expressed his willingness to marry Alecia as his wife and help her become an opera star. He wrote a letter to his father about this idea.

After his father knew all this, he sent a letter to warn Mozart: "Do you want to be an ordinary musician who will be forgotten by the world in the future, or a first-class musician who will leave a name in history and be blessed by others? Would you like to be an ordinary musician? Is the person who is fascinated by beauty, dies in bed soon, and leaves his wife and children to live on the streets, or is he a Christian who lives a happy life, values ​​fame and independence, and gives the family peace?" Then the father added: He added in a strong tone: "You must go to Paris without delay, and then join the ranks of great men. If you can't be Caesar, you don't have to be a man." Under his father's advice, Mozart suppressed his feelings, and finally bid farewell to Alessia, and Mother embarked on a journey to Paris.

It is best for a person to find a lifelong partner who will accompany him intimately while pursuing his career. She will make your life more charming.But romantic love does not necessarily make you happy, nor can it dominate everything about you.Remember to be realistic about love.

If there is no career then there is no permanent love.Young people must treat their career and love correctly, have a correct concept of emotion, place career and emotion in a correct position, and not give up a lifetime career for the sake of temporary lingering.

The most beautiful promise of love in the world should be an affectionate look, a gentle greeting or a little bit of life, not sweet words.

Actions are always the best proof of commitment.Just as the white cloud never promises its stay to the sky, the landscape does not tell its eternity to the eyes.The earth does not promise you anything, but the golden autumn harvest every year is its generous gift; the sea does not promise the sandy beach, but it never interrupts its visits from tide to tide.

If you want to have a promise, it is like owning a well, then no matter how deep the tenderness is, it cannot withstand continuous absorption.

Love cannot be realized by flashy promises that may never be fulfilled, but by real actions and realistic attitudes from each other.

Balance the balance of lovelorn
In the novel class, the professor is talking about the novel.He suddenly stopped and asked, "What is the opposite of love?"

"hatred."

The professor looked around the classroom and sighed secretly, just because he was young, just because he was too young.He put down the book and said: Let's put it this way.For example, say you are in a relationship now, then what?Just broke up.After 50 years, you are 70 years old, and one evening you are walking in the evening, and the road is narrow, and you meet again. At this time, the other party looks at you fixedly and says: "So-and-so, I hate you!"

If the plot is like this, then you should be glad that you have been hated by others for half a century.Hate is also an emotion that is easily tired. It is not easy for someone to hate you for 50 years. I am afraid that you will walk over and say: "So-and-so, do you still recognize me?"

"The other party stared at you blankly and said: 'Ah, I look familiar, what's your last name?'"

The whole class laughed, probably the imaginary scene was too funny and embarrassing!

"So, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference."

The opposite of love is not hate, which is an emotion that tires easily.Can the students who have stopped laughing hear the conclusion? ——Just because you are too young, is it so easy to say love and hate?
Many things are always understood after experiencing.If you like someone, you must make him happy, let him be happy, and make that relationship more sincere.If you can't do it, then you should let go, so sometimes, some people have to learn to give up, because giving up is also a kind of beauty.

Ai Jia was sorting out old things one day and accidentally found some diaries from the past.She turned a few pages, all of which seemed nothing at all now, but felt "very sad", "very painful" or "very unforgettable" at the time.Ai Jia couldn't find it funny after reading it, so she put down this book and picked up another one, and opened it, only to see the words on the title page: "Dedicated to the person I love the most——your love will accompany me for the rest of my life! My love ,never change!"

After reading this sentence, Ai Jia vaguely saw the figure of a boy.She used to think that he was her everything, but after leaving the school, they never saw each other again. She didn't know where he was and what he was doing now.She only knew that his love was not with her for the rest of her life, and her love had already changed.

Many people used to think that as long as they love someone well, they won't break up, but now they realize that if you treat him well, he will also love others.You used to think that you would never fall in love with the second person again, but once you experience the second love in your life, you will find that it is as sweet, tormenting, addicting, and deep-rooted as the first time.

The ladder of life is always rising step by step. This change of height is not just a change of career or an increase in age, but more importantly, a change in one's own value and value concept.People will look at life with a new concept, choose life, and judge love with a new aesthetic concept, because their feelings about love may be completely different.Therefore, we don't need to let the balance of lovelorn lose its balance. If you miss the flowers, you will reap the rain and dew.As Socrates said, thank the person who abandoned you and bless him for giving you a new chance to find happiness.

Keyword perception: love
Love is a great and holy feeling.The reason why some love lasts forever is that the moment of mutual love is very important, and the power of reason often calls them.A person who enjoys love will be intensely satisfied spiritually.He is like a boat full of fuel, food, and fresh water, with enough confidence and strength to sail towards his goal.On the basis of fate, I sincerely wish you a beautiful love with your own efforts.

(Chapter 2 Dependence - Kicking off the stumbling block to growth
When encountering a problem, do you first think of asking for help, or create conditions to solve it yourself?In your heart, do you always want to rely on someone in the dark, thinking that others can solve all your problems?Do you always want to get praise and applause from others, as if you are a failure if you can't get others' recognition?
On the journey of life, sometimes we do need the help of others, but if we regard the help of others as a kind of dependence, we will inevitably form a lazy habit.For an outstanding person, his choice is: to give up relying on, to struggle on his own.

Success requires an independent soul

In ancient times, there was a couple who had a child in their later years and were very happy.Because of his excessive cuteness, he regarded him as a treasure and didn't let him do anything.After the son grows up, he can't even take care of his own life.One day, the couple was going on a long trip, worried that their son would starve to death, so they came up with a solution: before leaving, they baked a large pancake, put it around the son's neck, and told him to take a bite when he wanted to eat.However, when the couple came back, the son was still starving to death, because he only knew how to eat the pie at the front of his neck, but didn't know how to turn the pie at the back to eat!

After listening to this story, you may smile, laughing that it is too exaggerated and absurd.But it shows that those children who grow up in excessive doting have poor ability to live independently. After they grow up, they can't even take care of themselves and support themselves, let alone supporting their parents and serving the country.

When a person steps into society, he starts an independent life, but his dependence on others, especially his parents, often bothers him.On the one hand, you have more freedom than before, but on the other hand, you have more responsibilities than before, and you cannot be timid in the face of these responsibilities.This means that when you face responsibilities and problems, you must stand up bravely, undertake and solve them independently.

Having an independent personality and self-reliance is the basis for standing in society and participating in competition.People have to live by themselves, and must live by themselves.At different stages of life, we must try our best to achieve the level of self-reliance that should be achieved, and have a corresponding spirit of self-reliance.

Only those who are independent can stand proudly in the world, open up their own world, and gain the approval of others.Have the courage to control your own destiny, learn to control yourself, regulate your emotions, make good use of your energy, and be independent in studying, choosing a career, and choosing friends. These are the essence of success.If you always let others manipulate your destiny, let others push you forward, and cannot get rid of your dependence on others, then you will always be a weak person.

To control fate, from a close perspective, choose friends and clothes; from a distance, you should choose your own career, love and boldly pursue noble spirit without being restricted by various factors.

When former U.S. President John F. Kennedy was young, his father paid attention to cultivating his independent consciousness.Once his father drove him out in a carriage.At a corner, because the carriage was fast, JFK was thrown out suddenly.When the carriage stopped, he thought his father would come down and help him up, but his father sat in the carriage and took out a cigarette leisurely and started smoking.

He called out, "Daddy, come and help me up."

"Did you hurt from the fall?"

"Yeah, I feel like I can't stand up." He said in a teary voice.

"Then you have to insist on standing up and climbing back into the carriage."

He struggled to stand up by himself, approached the carriage unsteadily, and climbed up with difficulty.

The father shook his whip and asked, "Do you know why you were made to do this?"

He shook his head.

My father went on to say: "Life is like this. You fall, get up, run, fall again, get up again, and run again. You have to rely on yourself at any time, and no one will help you."

Since then, his father has paid more attention to the cultivation of Kennedy Jr., such as taking him to participate in some big social activities, teaching him how to greet and say goodbye to guests, how to talk to guests of different identities, and how to show his personality. Spiritual outlook, temperament and demeanor, how to strengthen one's beliefs, etc.Someone asked Kennedy Jr.'s father: "You have so many things to do every day, how can you have the patience to teach your children to do these trivial things?"

Unexpectedly, John F. Kennedy's father said amazingly: "I was training him to be president."

If you can be independent, self-reliant, and self-reliant as John F. Kennedy's father asked his son, if you can let the independent soul carry out your thoughts, you too can succeed!
Some are waiting to get money from their father, a wealthy uncle, or some distant relative; others are waiting for that mysterious thing called "luck" and "prosperity" to help them.

No one who waits for help, for a hand, for another's money, or for luck to come his way has ever really achieved great things.Only those who are self-reliant, self-reliant, and self-respecting can open the door to success.

The spirit of independence and self-reliance is the fundamental basis for contemporary people to gain a foothold in society, and it is also the cornerstone for forming their own "survival support system".Because people who lack independent personality and self-reliance can't even control themselves, how can they talk about development and success?Even if the "pre-endowed status" provided by your family environment is in the cloud country of heaven, you must first descend to the mortal land, climb up from the ground up, and develop the ability to be self-reliant with your whole life.Because no matter what, when you step into society and participate in competition, you will encounter a living environment that is far more complicated than family life, and problems and situations that you cannot predict may appear at any time.You can't use your "survival support system" at any time, but you must rely on your tenacious self-reliance to overcome difficulties and keep moving forward!

The habit of dependence is a stumbling block that prevents you from succeeding. If you want to achieve great things, you must kick it away.

start from self independence

Relying on others will cause a person to lose the ability of independent thinking and the courage to start a business, because he always needs the help of others to obtain his own interests. Over time, he will inevitably develop a bad habit of sitting back and enjoying what he gets.Dependence will also inevitably lead to a kind of fragility, because he always acts according to the instructions of others, and it is difficult to form a strong independent response ability.Therefore, we should learn to live independently and form the will and character of self-esteem and self-confidence.

1. When I feel that I am influenced by others in psychology and behavior, I immediately think calmly about whether I can do it independently, and then strive to act according to my own wishes.

2. There is no need to always want to tell others what you think, imagine that you will get their help and support.Remember that your ideas are mainly realized by yourself, and others value your results, not your ideas.

3. Make a "self-independence" plan, emphasize your own ideas in your interactions with others, stick to it if you are correct, and give up if you are not.

4. Have enough confidence and courage, believe in your ability to live independently, and have the courage to overcome and resolve setbacks and difficulties independently.

5. Believe that you can support yourself, and you can be completely independent without relying on anyone.

6. Don't always think about whether others are happy or satisfied. This does not include helping others and serving others. You must understand that you cannot control other people's emotions, and don't let other people's emotions control you.

7. When you don't want to do something against your will, you might as well answer "no"!Then look at the other party's reaction. If he is a sensible person, he will definitely think: "Oh, he doesn't depend on me."

In order to train the cub to be self-reliant, the lioness deliberately pushed it into a deep valley, making it struggle to survive in the predicament.Facing the cruel reality, the little lion struggled to get out of the deep valley step by step.It has realized the truth of "not relying on others, and can only move forward with its own strength", and it has gradually matured.

We must bravely control our own destiny instead of relying on others. Like a little lion, let's mature as soon as possible!
Keyword perception: dependence
(End of this chapter)