Huadu macho

"You really know how to make people happy, but unfortunately this is the 21st century, not the Tang Dynasty."

Le Youyou knew that this poem came from Bai Juyi's "Song of Everlasting Sorrow". Obviously Li Mengnan was using Yang Yuhuan as an example to compare it with.

She almost couldn't remember the last time someone praised her for her beauty. It seemed to be a birthday when she was eight or nine years old.

"Don't be happy with things, don't be sad with yourself. To be a human being, the most important thing is to be yourself and blindly cater to other people's opinions. What's the point of living?"

Li Mengnan's words are not against his will. Although Le Youyou is fatter, he is actually quite attractive, especially his facial features are quite good. If he can lose thirty catties, he will definitely be a schoolgirl-level beauty, probably compared to Minnie. Not too much.

Le Youyou smiled noncommittally, she liked Li Mengnan's free and easy life attitude that seemed to be always optimistic.

"No!" Le Youyou suddenly remembered that what he originally wanted to ask was not this, and somehow Li Mengnan babbled and changed the topic, "Aren't you drunk? Why do you look more energetic than me?"

"Don't worry about the details." Li Mengnan dug his ears nonchalantly.

"That's the subject of the question, isn't it?"

Le Youyou rolled his eyes, dissatisfied with Li Mengnan's perfunctory attitude.

"Okay." Li Mengnan shrugged his shoulders indifferently, "I didn't drink at all, I was just pretending to be drunk just now... People are in the rivers and lakes, you can't help yourself, you know."

"Didn't drink? But I heard you drank five bottles of white wine?"

Le Youyou looked at Li Mengnan in puzzlement. Although there are indeed talents in this world, people have limits. No matter how good the capacity for alcohol is, it is impossible to look like a normal person after drinking five catties of liquor. let's go.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

Li Mengnan patted his stomach, and suddenly opened his mouth to spit out a round, balloon-like translucent object, and then the whole person stood upside down on the bench, and the balloon-shaped object exposed by his mouth also rapidly expanded and became bigger, and finally turned into a A volleyball size fell from Li Mengnan's mouth.

It was filled with a cloud of clear water-like liquid, which bounced up and down from time to time under the action of gravity, like a child's water balloon.But it was a condom, and there were even circles of threads on the outside.

"The five bottles of wine are here, do you want to check?"

There was a lot of space in his stomach, and Li Mengnan felt a lot better immediately. He wanted to spit it out a long time ago, but he never had the chance because of Minnie's presence.

"..." Le Youyou stared at Li Mengnan as if he had seen a ghost, and it took him a long time to recover his language ability. He said in disbelief, "Are you a cow? Why do you still ruminate? And how did the wine get here?"

Li Mengnan took out a condom from his wallet, tore off the package and stuffed it into his mouth, casually took out a half-drunk bottle of mineral water from Le Youyou's bath basket, "Like this, swallow the condom first, Then pour water in, tie a knot again, and finally spit it out..."

Li Mengnan opened his mouth again, and a fist-sized "water balloon" fell to the ground, bounced a few times and rolled to Le Youyou's feet.

"Look, it's very simple."

"It's not easy at all, okay?"

Le Youyou was really speechless, what kind of weird skills does this Li Mengnan know... Well, at least he did explain the whereabouts of those five bottles of wine.

Li Mengnan felt very wronged, this kind of skill of swallowing foreign objects was a job that practice makes perfect, among the many compulsory skills for a juggler, it was definitely the easiest one, and it really didn't have any technical content.

……

After parting with Le Youyou in front of the dormitory building, Li Mengnan went upstairs humming a ecstatic little tune, shaking every step and every time, extremely coquettish.

Pushing open the door and entering, the room was full of meat, and the glistening white tendons almost blinded Li Mengnan's eyes.

"Huh? Goku?"

"Yo? Senior brother?"

Hearing someone enter the room, the three naked men who were stacked on the bed turned their heads at the same time, and the three sausages hidden in the grass were thrown towards them, big and small, swaying with the wind.

Li Mengnan calmly took out his mobile phone and clicked a picture, took a step back and closed the door.

"Wait! Don't, big brother!"

"Wukong, show mercy!"

Only then did the three naked animals come to their senses, jumping up from the bed as if their buttocks were on fire, scrambling to get out of the room, dragging Li Mengnan back from the outside with all their might.

"You mean, just now you guys were just grabbing a USB flash drive when you were full of love?"

A few minutes later, Li Mengnan extracted the ins and outs of the whole incident from the three people's explanations.

"This is not an ordinary USB flash drive, this is a gentleman's USB flash drive." Wearing a flowery trousers with a cartoon girl printed on it, the chubby otaku Zhao Yingjun seriously emphasized.

Li Mengnan, who occasionally hangs around in some welfare forums, is no stranger to the word gentleman.

Generally speaking, a gentleman is broadly defined as a pervert.

But perverts also have their own beliefs, knowing how far you can pervert is a limit.

Gentlemen, on the other hand, do not have this kind of belief, and the perverted field they have reached has reached a very high level. They despise perverts, hooligans, and even more than the dick group who have no relationship with women.

Of course, it's not because they are so elegant, but they think in their hearts, "Oh, I'll go, you guys are only so good, look at me, you work three shifts a day. Learn~ Oh, I forgot, you guys I don't even have the ability to learn, I'm sorry." Such words continued to despise these people.

From the outsiders' point of view, it is because they reject these people's behaviors from their kind nature, but in fact they just despise why they have this level. This kind of human face and animal heart is just pretending to cover up.

When the science popularization time was over, Li Mengnan was inexplicably surprised: "I'm going! So cruel? Could it be that the 8 Gs in it are full of benefits?"

"Although we missed, it's not far away..." Liang Sanbo shook his head and dragged the text.

Li Mengnan suddenly regained his energy, stepped on the bench as a horse and leaned on the railing to point the country, and said happily: "What are you waiting for? It's better to be alone than to be happy! Second Junior Brother, quickly bring your demon mirror, and we brothers will work together to collect it The banshee in here..."

Liang Sanbo went to lock the door, Gao Dingtian went to move tables, chairs and benches, Zhao Yingjun connected the USB flash drive to his laptop, and the four of them clicked on the video player with excitement comparable to a pilgrimage.

This gentleman is really kind, there is no long and boring foreplay, no commercials, and the picture goes straight to the point, smacking on the top, slapping on the bottom, a complete domestic high-definition infantry movie, the heroine's face is fully visible , there is no messy mask coming out to spoil the scenery.

All the animals in dormitory 302 were moved to tears—this is the proper conscience of the industry!

As for the small problem that the male lead never showed his face in the film, it was selectively ignored.

Just kidding, it's not a stick idol drama, this kind of love action movie with a simple and compact plot, as long as there is a heroine is enough, who cares whether the hero is a human or a cucumber? "You really know how to make people happy, but unfortunately this is the 21st century, not the Tang Dynasty."

Le Youyou knew that this poem came from Bai Juyi's "Song of Everlasting Sorrow". Obviously Li Mengnan was using Yang Yuhuan as an example to compare it with.

She almost couldn't remember the last time someone praised her for her beauty. It seemed to be a birthday when she was eight or nine years old.

"Don't be happy with things, don't be sad with yourself. To be a human being, the most important thing is to be yourself and blindly cater to other people's opinions. What's the point of living?"

Li Mengnan's words are not against his will. Although Le Youyou is fatter, he is actually quite attractive, especially his facial features are quite good. If he can lose thirty catties, he will definitely be a schoolgirl-level beauty, probably compared to Minnie. Not too much.

Le Youyou smiled noncommittally, she liked Li Mengnan's free and easy life attitude that seemed to be always optimistic.

"No!" Le Youyou suddenly remembered that what he originally wanted to ask was not this, and somehow Li Mengnan babbled and changed the topic, "Aren't you drunk? Why do you look more energetic than me?"

"Don't worry about the details." Li Mengnan dug his ears nonchalantly.

"That's the subject of the question, isn't it?"

Le Youyou rolled his eyes, dissatisfied with Li Mengnan's perfunctory attitude.

"Okay." Li Mengnan shrugged his shoulders indifferently, "I didn't drink at all, I was just pretending to be drunk just now... People are in the rivers and lakes, you can't help yourself, you know."

"Didn't drink? But I heard you drank five bottles of white wine?"

Le Youyou looked at Li Mengnan in puzzlement. Although there are indeed talents in this world, people have limits. No matter how good the capacity for alcohol is, it is impossible to look like a normal person after drinking five catties of liquor. let's go.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

Li Mengnan patted his stomach, and suddenly opened his mouth to spit out a round, balloon-like translucent object, and then the whole person stood upside down on the bench, and the balloon-shaped object exposed by his mouth also rapidly expanded and became bigger, and finally turned into a A volleyball size fell from Li Mengnan's mouth.

It was filled with a cloud of clear water-like liquid, which bounced up and down from time to time under the action of gravity, like a child's water balloon.But it was a condom, and there were even circles of threads on the outside.

"The five bottles of wine are here, do you want to check?"

There was a lot of space in his stomach, and Li Mengnan felt a lot better immediately. He wanted to spit it out a long time ago, but he never had the chance because of Minnie's presence.

"..." Le Youyou stared at Li Mengnan as if he had seen a ghost, and it took him a long time to recover his language ability. He said in disbelief, "Are you a cow? Why do you still ruminate? And how did the wine get here?"

Li Mengnan took out a condom from his wallet, tore off the package and stuffed it into his mouth, casually took out a half-drunk bottle of mineral water from Le Youyou's bath basket, "Like this, swallow the condom first, Then pour water in, tie a knot again, and finally spit it out..."

Li Mengnan opened his mouth again, and a fist-sized "water balloon" fell to the ground, bounced a few times and rolled to Le Youyou's feet.

"Look, it's very simple."

"It's not easy at all, okay?"

Le Youyou was really speechless, what kind of weird skills does this Li Mengnan know... Well, at least he did explain the whereabouts of those five bottles of wine.

Li Mengnan felt very wronged, this kind of skill of swallowing foreign objects was a job that practice makes perfect, among the many compulsory skills for a juggler, it was definitely the easiest one, and it really didn't have any technical content.

……

After parting with Le Youyou in front of the dormitory building, Li Mengnan went upstairs humming a ecstatic little tune, shaking every step and every time, extremely coquettish.

Pushing open the door and entering, the room was full of meat, and the glistening white tendons almost blinded Li Mengnan's eyes.

"Huh? Goku?"

"Yo? Senior brother?"

Hearing someone enter the room, the three naked men who were stacked on the bed turned their heads at the same time, and the three sausages hidden in the grass were thrown towards them, big and small, swaying with the wind.

Li Mengnan calmly took out his mobile phone and clicked a picture, took a step back and closed the door.

"Wait! Don't, big brother!"

"Wukong, show mercy!"

Only then did the three naked animals come to their senses, jumping up from the bed as if their buttocks were on fire, scrambling to get out of the room, dragging Li Mengnan back from the outside with all their might.

"You mean, just now you guys were just grabbing a USB flash drive when you were full of love?"

A few minutes later, Li Mengnan extracted the ins and outs of the whole incident from the three people's explanations.

"This is not an ordinary USB flash drive, this is a gentleman's USB flash drive." Wearing a flowery trousers with a cartoon girl printed on it, the chubby otaku Zhao Yingjun seriously emphasized.

Li Mengnan, who occasionally hangs around in some welfare forums, is no stranger to the word gentleman.

Generally speaking, a gentleman is broadly defined as a pervert.

But perverts also have their own beliefs, knowing how far you can pervert is a limit.

Gentlemen, on the other hand, do not have this kind of belief, and the perverted field they have reached has reached a very high level. They despise perverts, hooligans, and even more than the dick group who have no relationship with women.

Of course, it's not because they are so elegant, but they think in their hearts, "Oh, I'll go, you guys are only so good, look at me, you work three shifts a day. Learn~ Oh, I forgot, you guys I don't even have the ability to learn, I'm sorry." Such words continued to despise these people.

From the outsiders' point of view, it is because they reject these people's behaviors from their kind nature, but in fact they just despise why they have this level. This kind of human face and animal heart is just pretending to cover up.

When the science popularization time was over, Li Mengnan was inexplicably surprised: "I'm going! So cruel? Could it be that the 8 Gs in it are full of benefits?"

"Although we missed, it's not far away..." Liang Sanbo shook his head and dragged the text.

Li Mengnan suddenly regained his energy, stepped on the bench as a horse and leaned on the railing to point the country, and said happily: "What are you waiting for? It's better to be alone than to be happy! Second Junior Brother, quickly bring your demon mirror, and we brothers will work together to collect it The banshee in here..."

Liang Sanbo went to lock the door, Gao Dingtian went to move tables, chairs and benches, Zhao Yingjun connected the USB flash drive to his laptop, and the four of them clicked on the video player with excitement comparable to a pilgrimage.

This gentleman is really kind, there is no long and boring foreplay, no commercials, and the picture goes straight to the point, smacking on the top, slapping on the bottom, a complete domestic high-definition infantry movie, the heroine's face is fully visible , there is no messy mask coming out to spoil the scenery.

All the animals in dormitory 302 were moved to tears—this is the proper conscience of the industry!

As for the small problem that the male lead never showed his face in the film, it was selectively ignored.

Just kidding, it's not a stick idol drama, this kind of love action movie with a simple and compact plot, as long as there is a heroine is enough, who cares whether the hero is a human or a cucumber?