A devil may cry fanfic

"~how many kids do you want?"

Asking innocently.

*dante did a spit take to the side so he didn't get her in the face*

(To soon go damit don't divorce me darling)

Dante sees visible concern on Lily's face. So he went to the go to number for most couples, even though he wasn't sure weather it was entirely accurate since all he really had to base this off of was tv and movies he'd seen.

"Two or three..."

Lily's face gets a little red but her eyes lit up a bit more which Dante took as a single that he'd guessed the right answer. She's practically glowing from all her recent happiness.

(...this is fine it's not like I said fuckin 6-.-ll daddy dodged a bullet...I just called myself daddy wtf?)

Dante mentally laughed at the fact that Nero's gonna have to deal with the fact that he's getting cousins from his best friend and his uncle.

Meanwhile Nero

*vomiting and crying into a toilet*

Kyrie "I'm not pregnant but it's adorable to know you get sympathy sickness pumpkin"

*rubbing his back while he puke crys*

~Kyrie has no idea what's happening and poor Nero is feeling the equivalent of whatever a woman would feel while pregnant from shock~

lily and Dante had finished their dinner and had gotten back into the car. lily thought they were going back home. Haha nope not yet, Dante had arranged for them to stay at a nice hotel for the night...when they stopped outside a fancy hotel and got out lily was confused...

(Why we at a hotel omg are we getting married right now?)

[Nope dense woman your heading to bone town]

Once they walked in and got to the checkin counter some gentlemen in a suit with red eyes and slicked back hair pick pocketed the condoms trish had previously given Dante and screamed yeet and chucked the out the fuckin window.

*there was a small crash*

"I'll go get it~"

She had no idea what her boyfriend had just lost but he grabbed her by the hand and told her not to worry about it.

"Eh?but you just got robbed by Lucifer"

She saw his business card fall to the floor when he'd yeeted the unknown object or objects out the window.

(Holy fuck that was Satan?!)

"He took my thrown I'm against mundus your welcome..."

*he pats Dante's shoulder and leaves"

"...I don't get what just happened"

"Same...but let's just forget about it yeah?"

"Ok"

The two went up into their room.

Next chapter warning