A Vow So Beautiful
Chapter 45 - At Long Last
"Don't look at me. I'm hideous," Dane whispered, his hands still trying to cover his scar as his voice grew louder and more beastly. "Just...go away. Leave me be already."
Dane heard the sound of the door open and then close. He sighed as she went and disappeared inside, somewhere far away from him. Good. She should be revolted by his scar and turn away from her beast of a husband.
The rain raged on heavier as his trembles and headaches grew even more painful to bare. Like that dark and fateful night, it also rained after he was almost scorched to death. When the icy droplets fell onto his skin, he only received a flash of images from searching through that blackened rubble for his parents.
It was hard to breathe as he imagined that scorching hot flame engulfing his body as he desperately searched beyond no hope. He clutched against his chest and took deep shattering breaths.
He needed his pain killers but even more so, his chest hurt because when his lynx lay eyes on his scar, she turned away in disgust. She was the one person that he didn't want to see his ugly scar like this when he was trying hard to be the knight. God, remembering the look on her face twisted his heart. It proved that now she must hate him for he was still an ugly beast under the disguise.
The sound of the door opening sounded throughout his ears, mostly obscured by the sound of the rain. His vision was clouded as something soft was thrown over his head. It was his lynx. She came back for him as she forcefully led him into their den and ruffled his hair with a towel. Dane waited a few moments before speaking, until she was done drying his hair.
She threw the towel off to the side and cradled his face with her hands but he recoiled from her touch.
"How many times must I repeat myself? I want to be alone," he tried to take deep breaths but felt himself shaking so much it was hard to look composed. "Leave me alone."
He held in his breath as she grabbed hold of his hand and then found her watching him without fear of his scar. Prisana's eyes were determined to stay. This frustrated him to great lengths because he was so weak and so vulnerable that it scared him to have her see this ugly side to him.
"I can't leave you alone, not when I saw you crying inside for help like a wounded animal."
"Stop. I don't need your sympathy or your help."
"I'm your wife so you must let me in," she huffed, squeezing his hand even tighter. "It's not sympathy I have because you have saved me once before. Now....it's my turn so let me save you."
His lynx pulled him into her arms into an embrace. The universe must have stopped working as the raging storm inside his heart calmed it's fury. Tension in his shoulders relaxed as he took in her familiar scent and felt her petite body sweetly soothing him. His head gradually leaned into her soft chest. Dane's hands hesitatingly circled around her waist as she gently stroked his hair.
When he embraced her in return, it felt like all would be okay. He wished time would stop like this forever with her holding him in her arms. A sigh escaped his lips as the shaking subsided.
"Are you done throwing a fit?" she finally asked.
"Yes...I get strange episodes during heavy rain without my pain killers and my scar, I'm sorry you had to see that ugly side of me again."
Dane's hand crept up to his face so he could cover that hideous scar that may frighten her away.
"Dane...Dane! It's alright. I was only surprised because I thought you had gotten surgery. Believe me, I don't hate your scar."
"Lies. I wouldn't want you to force yourself to like this detestable version of myself."
"Look at me."
"No."
His heart stopped when he felt Prisana's lips against his hand that covered his scar. She continued her sweet torture as she kissed the ridges of his fingers until they slowly pried away from the scar. When he was left bare before her in his ugly beastly self, the lynx dared to kiss the brown jagged scar.
"See? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. On the outside, you think you look hideous but I know that deep down from your valiant acts, that you truly are...beautiful inside and out. No matter how hard you try to fool yourself, you're not a beast!"
Why was she so sweet? Her words made him want to believe that he wasn't the ugly beast he thought he was. Dane bitterly chuckled, surprising even himself.
"You're wrong, I am a beast to the core and be careful dearest or I may never let you go because no woman but you has ever called me beautiful...Hah. My sweet lynx, tell me, why must you try so hard for a beast like me?"
"Did you forget that from today onward, we are husband and wife? As your wife, I wish to accept all of you because you have stripped yourself down for me so that I can use you. Please, allow me to shoulder your burden and ease your pain. Allow me to be your shield when you are weak."
Prisana squeezed his hand tighter.
"Dane, allow me to save you."
Perhaps it was because he saw the desperation laced in her eyes or perhaps it was because he yearned for the stories from the moment she ruined him. So he did the one thing that scared him. He told her fragments of his story all because deep down, he did want someone to save him.
"...If there was a god," Dane continued the talk from earlier on in the car. "Then I wouldn't have suffered burning in hell to lose all those I've ever loved. I wouldn't have been consumed in this evil cycle of hatred and revenge. And, it wouldn't have been possible for a beast like me to take you as his in this lifetime. I don't criticize your faith but I know deep down that surely the lord has forsaken me. That must be because I am a selfish man who won't give you your undying vows yet wish to have you by my side even if it's for a short while. That's why Prisana, don't say you'll shoulder my burden and ease my pain because you don't need to do that for someone who won't give you promises. Just use me and toss me away when you are done so I can hurt once more yet would be content knowing that you must be happy somewhere else. So leave me, the wounded beast, alone."
God, he was baring so much emotion. Baring so much plea for her to leave his wounded beast aside and return only when he was the beast in shining armor.
"No, I won't leave."
"Why?"
"Because, you stupid beast, it sounds as if you are saying that you are in love with me!" she shouted, then soon covered her mouth.
Dane blinked at her, repeating her words in his head. It struck him so hard that he had to take a step back because all the signs were pointing to her words. Why was the universe bent on having him love her? He shook his head and looked away from her.
"Never. I won't ever love you."
He regretted saying every word as he could see harm inflicted in those pretty light chesnut eyes that stared down into his very soul.
"Oh really?" she taunted him as anger shrouded her eyes. "Then don't blame your dear wife for what will come next."
The lynx was the one that caught the beast in her trap this time. Her hands grasped his shirt so that he was within inches of her. Prisana then did what he was most afraid of.
She forcibly demanded a frustrating yet sweet kiss upon his lips.
Dane heard the sound of the door open and then close. He sighed as she went and disappeared inside, somewhere far away from him. Good. She should be revolted by his scar and turn away from her beast of a husband.
The rain raged on heavier as his trembles and headaches grew even more painful to bare. Like that dark and fateful night, it also rained after he was almost scorched to death. When the icy droplets fell onto his skin, he only received a flash of images from searching through that blackened rubble for his parents.
It was hard to breathe as he imagined that scorching hot flame engulfing his body as he desperately searched beyond no hope. He clutched against his chest and took deep shattering breaths.
He needed his pain killers but even more so, his chest hurt because when his lynx lay eyes on his scar, she turned away in disgust. She was the one person that he didn't want to see his ugly scar like this when he was trying hard to be the knight. God, remembering the look on her face twisted his heart. It proved that now she must hate him for he was still an ugly beast under the disguise.
The sound of the door opening sounded throughout his ears, mostly obscured by the sound of the rain. His vision was clouded as something soft was thrown over his head. It was his lynx. She came back for him as she forcefully led him into their den and ruffled his hair with a towel. Dane waited a few moments before speaking, until she was done drying his hair.
She threw the towel off to the side and cradled his face with her hands but he recoiled from her touch.
"How many times must I repeat myself? I want to be alone," he tried to take deep breaths but felt himself shaking so much it was hard to look composed. "Leave me alone."
He held in his breath as she grabbed hold of his hand and then found her watching him without fear of his scar. Prisana's eyes were determined to stay. This frustrated him to great lengths because he was so weak and so vulnerable that it scared him to have her see this ugly side to him.
"I can't leave you alone, not when I saw you crying inside for help like a wounded animal."
"Stop. I don't need your sympathy or your help."
"I'm your wife so you must let me in," she huffed, squeezing his hand even tighter. "It's not sympathy I have because you have saved me once before. Now....it's my turn so let me save you."
His lynx pulled him into her arms into an embrace. The universe must have stopped working as the raging storm inside his heart calmed it's fury. Tension in his shoulders relaxed as he took in her familiar scent and felt her petite body sweetly soothing him. His head gradually leaned into her soft chest. Dane's hands hesitatingly circled around her waist as she gently stroked his hair.
When he embraced her in return, it felt like all would be okay. He wished time would stop like this forever with her holding him in her arms. A sigh escaped his lips as the shaking subsided.
"Are you done throwing a fit?" she finally asked.
"Yes...I get strange episodes during heavy rain without my pain killers and my scar, I'm sorry you had to see that ugly side of me again."
Dane's hand crept up to his face so he could cover that hideous scar that may frighten her away.
"Dane...Dane! It's alright. I was only surprised because I thought you had gotten surgery. Believe me, I don't hate your scar."
"Lies. I wouldn't want you to force yourself to like this detestable version of myself."
"Look at me."
"No."
His heart stopped when he felt Prisana's lips against his hand that covered his scar. She continued her sweet torture as she kissed the ridges of his fingers until they slowly pried away from the scar. When he was left bare before her in his ugly beastly self, the lynx dared to kiss the brown jagged scar.
"See? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. On the outside, you think you look hideous but I know that deep down from your valiant acts, that you truly are...beautiful inside and out. No matter how hard you try to fool yourself, you're not a beast!"
Why was she so sweet? Her words made him want to believe that he wasn't the ugly beast he thought he was. Dane bitterly chuckled, surprising even himself.
"You're wrong, I am a beast to the core and be careful dearest or I may never let you go because no woman but you has ever called me beautiful...Hah. My sweet lynx, tell me, why must you try so hard for a beast like me?"
"Did you forget that from today onward, we are husband and wife? As your wife, I wish to accept all of you because you have stripped yourself down for me so that I can use you. Please, allow me to shoulder your burden and ease your pain. Allow me to be your shield when you are weak."
Prisana squeezed his hand tighter.
"Dane, allow me to save you."
Perhaps it was because he saw the desperation laced in her eyes or perhaps it was because he yearned for the stories from the moment she ruined him. So he did the one thing that scared him. He told her fragments of his story all because deep down, he did want someone to save him.
"...If there was a god," Dane continued the talk from earlier on in the car. "Then I wouldn't have suffered burning in hell to lose all those I've ever loved. I wouldn't have been consumed in this evil cycle of hatred and revenge. And, it wouldn't have been possible for a beast like me to take you as his in this lifetime. I don't criticize your faith but I know deep down that surely the lord has forsaken me. That must be because I am a selfish man who won't give you your undying vows yet wish to have you by my side even if it's for a short while. That's why Prisana, don't say you'll shoulder my burden and ease my pain because you don't need to do that for someone who won't give you promises. Just use me and toss me away when you are done so I can hurt once more yet would be content knowing that you must be happy somewhere else. So leave me, the wounded beast, alone."
God, he was baring so much emotion. Baring so much plea for her to leave his wounded beast aside and return only when he was the beast in shining armor.
"No, I won't leave."
"Why?"
"Because, you stupid beast, it sounds as if you are saying that you are in love with me!" she shouted, then soon covered her mouth.
Dane blinked at her, repeating her words in his head. It struck him so hard that he had to take a step back because all the signs were pointing to her words. Why was the universe bent on having him love her? He shook his head and looked away from her.
"Never. I won't ever love you."
He regretted saying every word as he could see harm inflicted in those pretty light chesnut eyes that stared down into his very soul.
"Oh really?" she taunted him as anger shrouded her eyes. "Then don't blame your dear wife for what will come next."
The lynx was the one that caught the beast in her trap this time. Her hands grasped his shirt so that he was within inches of her. Prisana then did what he was most afraid of.
She forcibly demanded a frustrating yet sweet kiss upon his lips.
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