A Wave Of Desire

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Ocean

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I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that I had said that stuff at the restaurant. I could only hope that Jonah didn't know anyone that I know. I could only hope that he wouldn't be able to tell people and then my secret with Makai would get out.

It's not that I was ashamed of being with Makai. I love him and I want to be with him forever, so shame has nothing to do with it at all. No, the reason I want to keep it a secret is that I know how cruel people are and I don't want them to start causing problems for Makai and me.. That wouldn't be fair to the man that I loved or me. Neither of us deserved their ridicule.

And what if they tried to kick us out of the swim team? What would happen if we told everyone, and they wouldn't let us be on the team anymore? No, for now it was best to just keep it a secret.

I still wanted to be with him. I wanted to go out and do things with him, and it pained me that we needed to lie and make excuses about it. Dammit, why was it such a fucking Catch 22? [1]  Why can't life just be a lot easier?

When Makai drove down the street where the party was taking place, I could tell that there were a lot of people here. There was hardly anywhere to park on the street. We had to park at least half a mile from the house and walk the rest of the way there. And, the music was so loud that I was surprised that the neighbors hadn't already called the cops about it. Then again, there might be several of them that were gone for the weekend because of the holiday.

There were strobe lights coming from inside the house and the door was just standing open. I guess Giovani and his parents didn't care who walked in right now. Oh well, I was just here for a little bit. I would enjoy the party for a bit then head home with Makai.

"You made it!" Almost immediately after walking inside, Giovani ran up to us and yelled out to me over the music. "I wasn't sure you were going to come, I'm glad you did." Gio was looking right at me when he spoke. "It's nice to see you too, Kai." He said finally looking at Makai, but his eyes were back on me almost immediately. "It's been a long time since you were here, hasn't it?" Giovani threw his arm around my shoulder and started to walk deeper into the house while talking to me.

"Yeah, not since eighth grade." I laughed as I thought about it. 

Giovani and I used to hang out all the time. We were the best of friends at one point, always in the same class since elementary school. But when he went to an opposing high school it changed things. We started to argue whenever we saw each other with our teammates, and we ended up at the point where we stopped texting or calling each other. 

At that point in time, it was hard to separate our friendship from our teams' rivalries. I think it was the peer pressure of it all that was part of it. If we mentioned someone from the enemy school, then we were given the third degree by the upperclassmen. After months of that as freshmen we just ended up adopting that mindset.

I'm glad that now, since we are the upperclassmen, we can show everyone that you don't have to give up on your old friends just because they're your rivals. That rivalry could possibly make you better friends. That was my opinion anyway.

"Come on, you got to talk and hang out with me for a while. Catch me up on what's been going on with you. Weren't you dating some chick? Who is she? How have things been?"

"Well, I am not dating her anymore." I said as I looked to the side at Makai. He didn't have a very happy look on his face and I thought I knew why, so I slid Giovani's arm from around my shoulder and moved to stand in the middle of the two guys.

"Really? What happened?" He looked at me with shock on his face.

"You remember that meet when I got hurt?" I asked him, knowing that he should remember it, he was there after all.

"Hells yeah man, that was scary as fuck. I have been meaning to ask you, how's your head? You looked like you were going to die that day." I could see the wonder and worry warring in his eyes.

"I'm fine. My head is good too, nothing at all to worry about. Anyway, the girl I was with broke up with me that day." I brought the memories back to the front of my mind.

"Seriously? Don't tell me it was before the meet and that was why you ended up getting hurt." Gio laughed at me as he spoke.

"It was worse than that." I shook my head and laughed. "That bitch came to the hospital that afternoon and broke up with me because I didn't come in first place."

"Shit. That is fucked up. Who the hell does something like that?" He was laughing despite the words that he was saying.

"A skanky one." Makai answered for me.

"You got that right, Kai. She sounds awful."

"Yeah, then she tried to come onto me. I turned her down and told her what she really was." Makai was grinning as he said that.

"Yeah? And what was that?" Gio asked.

"Trash."

Giovani laughed, long and loud when Makai said that. He was laughing so hard that he was holding his chest and put a hand on my shoulder to hold himself up.

"That's fucking hilarious."

Things seemed to be going alright for the moment. Talking with Gio was just as easy as it used to be. Makai seemed to be having a good time. And no one was giving us a hard time for being here. It was all going really well.

After we had been there for a little bit, I heard Makai ask me something, his voice hard to hear over the pounding of the music.

"I need a drink. Do you want to get something?"

"Yeah, I can use a drink." I went to walk away with him, but Gio stopped me.

"It's only two drinks, you can handle that, right?" I could tell that Gio was trying to press for a reason why we should be going together.

"Yeah, I can get them by myself." Makai smiled and nodded. "I'll be back in a bit."

"OK." I nodded at him as he turned to leave.

"Hey, do you remember the sword display that my dad had?" I heard Gio's words right next to my ear.

"Yeah, I remember." I smiled at him. "That was one badass display." I was remembering the half a dozen swords that were displayed back when I was younger.

"He got a lot more. Come on, let me show you." I felt him tug on my arm to get me to follow him.

"What about Makai?" I asked him as I looked in the direction that Makai walk.

"Don't worry, we will be right back. Come on."

"Alright." I nodded and turned to follow him.

It took a minute to get through the crowd of people that was in our way. This party was a lot bigger than the ones that I threw, so there was a lot less room available to move around. But after a few minutes, we managed to make it to where I remembered his dad's office to be.

When we went inside Gio walked across and turned on the lamp by the desk instead of the overhead light. That was fine, the dimmer light was easier on my eyes after the strobes from the party.

"Here, take a look." Gio was pointing at the wall where the swords were.

"That's fucking awesome."

The swords on the wall were all different types from medieval looking broadswords to Japanese Katana. He had added at least eight more to his collection since I was a kid and there was also a mace and axe in an 'X' pattern, a war hammer, and several shields. His dad had one hell of a collection.

"Yeah, Dad has been getting more all the time. Mom just rolls her eyes at him when he gets a new one." I was standing at Gio's side now as I looked up and down the wall with the collection on it.

"This is awesome. I wish I had something like this."

"You could see it more often, if you came over more." His voice was right next to my ear when he spoke.

"Y..yeah, but we don't really have a reason to hang out at each other's houses anymore. We're not kids anymore." I turned and backed away just a little.

"Then we could do things that were never meant for kids." He grinned and continued walking towards me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him as I took another step away from him and felt myself run right into the wall with the swords on it.

"Oh, come on Ocean, you know what I'm talking about. I've had my eye on you since we were eleven. That was how far back I knew what I wanted in life. And I've seen the way that you look at the guys around you lately. I know that you're into the same things that I am. I've wanted you for years, man, and I can finally get that from you. I don't know if I would call it being in love with you, but I have definitely been crushing on you."

Gio's smirking face was now right in front of me as he placed his hands on either side of my head. I had finally figured out what it was that he wanted and I needed to tell him to stop this.

"No, Gio, you're wrong. This isn't something that we can do together. I don't-." 

"Really?" He cut off my protesting words. "Well let's just see first."

Without another word he pressed his lips to mine and forced his tongue into my mouth. My brain reeled for a second. Just a second. That was all it took for me to come to my senses and start to push him away.

However, I didn't have to push him anymore. He was already gone, and behind him, I could see Makai, his hand still fisted in the back of Gio's shirt.

[1] A catch-22 is a paradoxical situation from which an individual cannot escape because of contradictory rules or limitations. The term was coined by Joseph Heller, who used it in his 1961 novel Catch-22. An example is:

"How can I get any experience until I get a job that gives me experience?" – Brantley Foster in The Secret of My Success