A Wave Of Desire

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Ocean

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I was dreading this. Every second of every minute of every hour that has passed since yesterday, when we ran into that fucking skank while Makai and I were out shopping. I had been dreading the moment that we left for practice.

Did Brittney have time to spread her rumors? Did her network of cronies already have time to tell everyone at school that Makai and I were out together, Did Brittney think that we were dating? What was going to happen? What were they going to say?

More importantly than what the rest of the school was going to say, will I still be allowed on the swim team? Will we be kicked off the team because we're together? Will my entire swimming career be over? I just didn't know what was going to happen and that is what scared me.

"Makai, can we just skip school?" I asked him as I walked toward the car. Every step I took felt like I was getting that much closer to the execution chamber.

"No, baby, we can't. We need to go to school, or your parents will make you move back home." He took my hand and started to pull me toward the car door and eventually to my doom.

"Can we switch schools? Or change to doing it all online. Anything. Come on, babe, please don't make me go."

"Come on, Ocean. You know that we can't do that."

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he really didn't want to force me to go to school, but I knew as well as he did that I had to go. Honestly, if I waited until tomorrow to go then it would just be that much worse.

In reality, if I just went to school and denied her allegations today, then she would have nothing to go on. Right? If Makai and I had a united front in the denial of any and all rumors, then it would all be OK.

I really, really, really hoped that would be the case. Come on everybody, throw me a bone here. Don't listen to a single word that she says. And for the love of all that is aquatic, don't let them kick me off the team.

Makai opened the car door for me and just waited there, looking at me sympathetically until I finally decided to move. There was no way to stop this from happening, I just needed to bite the bullet and deal with it, no matter what.

I got into the passenger side of the car and Makai shut my door before he went around to get in and started to drive us toward the school. We didn't talk at all during the drive. We just sat there in silence while Makai held my hand out of sight from the windows. I felt him squeeze it comfortingly a few times along the way, and I could tell how much he loved me with just that little touch. He was right, we would get through this. I just wish I could tell the herd of wild animals running amok in my stomach that. My nerves were still rampaging and I didn't think that they would ever stop.

"Oh, shit!" I said the words under my breath, but Makai still heard me. The moment that we pulled into the parking lot I saw Brittney waiting there. She was standing next to Justin's car. Of all the people it had to be him. This was going to be even worse than I thought. We had an enemy on and off the team. Great.

"Don't worry, Ocean, we've been carpooling for weeks, there is nothing different about today."

"I..I know." I tried to be resolute and firm in my belief of that, but nothing was helping.

"Take a deep breath and don't let them see you looking so scared. That is the best way to show them that they're wrong."

"R..r..right." I nodded at him, trying to look brave and unaffected. I am pretty sure that I failed.

Makai parked in our usual spot, and we got out of the car. We each grabbed our gym bag like we usually did, and we started toward the school's main entrance. Brittney and Justin had been on the opposite side of the parking lot when we parked, nowhere even close to where we were.

"OCEAN!" Britt the bitch screamed my name as she ran up toward me. "OCEAN! I WANT TO TALK TO YOU!" She ran until she was standing between the doors to the school and where I was standing next to Makai.

"Yeah well, I don't want to talk to you." I did my best to remain calm.

"Tell me right now why you won't get back together with me. Are you dating someone else? Are you dating him?" She pointed at Makai as she hurled her words toward me.

"I am not with you right now because I don't want to be. I would have to be stupid to want to be with you." I was still calm despite the nerves that I was feeling.

"Really? REALLY?" She was getting pissed off and that was clear to see. "There was a time that you wanted nothing else but to be with me. There was a time you thought I was hot. You called me beautiful, gorgeous and sexy."

"Yeah, there was a time when I thought that, then I woke the fuck up and saw what a goddamn shrew you were. I thank my lucky fucking stars every day that you broke up with me. That is a holiday for me now. It's now known as my Freedom Day. Stop trying to ruin that for me by coming around when you're not wanted." I added a very real shudder at the end of my words, accomplished by thinking about what it would be like if I was still with her. Ugh!

"Huh! Ocean!" She pretended to be offended by what I said. Hell, maybe she truly was offended by it, I don't know. Still, I didn't care, I just needed to get past her and into the school.

"I don't have time for this, Brittney. I need to get to practice."

"Practice can wait." Justin snapped at me. "This needs to be settled right now or you're not stepping one foot into that locker room."

"REALLY?" I heard Ryan's voice call out from behind us. "And who the fuck is going to stop him, huh?" Ryan was now standing next to me. Ben had joined us as well, standing on Makai's other side.

"You are being a dick, Justin. What the hell do you think you're doing?" I couldn't see Ben's face, but he sounded as angry as Ryan had.

"I don't want them in my locker room." Justin snapped at Ben while pointing at me and Makai.

"You're a fucking idiot." Ryan sighed and grabbed me by the elbow. "Come on, Ocean, ignore the morons. Let's go to practice." Ben did the same thing to Makai and together the two of them marched us straight toward the school doors, forcing Brittney and Justin to move out of the way. This was going to make things worse in the long run, I just knew that it was.

Ryan didn't let go of my arm until we got all the way into the locker room. The entire time that he was marching me along through the hallways, Justin, 'skank face', and the rest of the team were following behind us.

The rest of the team had been there to watch the scene that Justin and the bitch had caused. And while they hadn't explicitly said things like 'you're gay' or 'you two are dating' they made their position on it clear. And I just knew that Brittney was going to tell everyone that Makai and I were together in that way.

Thankfully, there wasn't time for Justin to start spreading rumors before practice started, I saw that he was working his way through the rest of the team while we warmed up. He started in the locker room and continued working his way through them all one by one while next to the pool.

I felt their eyes on me. I heard their whispered voices but not their words. I could tell they were looking at me and Makai. I could tell that they were judging us and trying to guess whether it was all true or not.

All of it, everything that was going on, was making my heart pound with fear. What was going to happen? What were they going to do? What were they going to say?

I didn't want them to start with the whole bullying thing, just because I happened to be in love with a man. That was the only thing that I wanted to avoid. I wasn't going to break up with Makai, not for anything. I just didn't want people to make our lives a living hell because we were together.

Please! Please someone, tell me what to do. Tell me how to have it all. Tell me how I can be with the man that I loved and not have my daily life become the subject of scorn and ridicule by others. Tell me what I needed to do and I would just do it.

No advice came. No matter how much I prayed and begged, I didn't know what to do. And to top it all off, the entire team, the guys and the girls, were staring at me, Makai, Ben, and Ryan. The entire team seemed to have heard what it was that Justin had to say and they were judging us for it already.

I had a feeling that class was going to be miserable today.