A Wave Of Desire

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Makai

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The morning seemed to be dragging. I mean, after the assembly. But then again, it dragged before and after that as well. Now, though, with everyone whispering about the assembly and the 'incident' I felt like every minute was lasting an eternity.

When lunch finally arrived and I was able to relax a little, albeit still among the whispers, I sighed in relief. I had been so tense and annoyed all morning that I just felt like I couldn't breathe. 

"This day is hell." I said as I flopped down onto the bench at the table I usually sat at with Ben, Ryan, Alexis, Katie, Cassie, and a few others. Ocean was usually here as well, but he obviously wasn't here today.

"Oh, you're just pissed because you have to be here with us losers instead of with Ocean." Katie laughed at me as she sat down across from me.

"Yeah, we're not cool enough for Sir Kai. We're just lowly girls, nothing as big and important as THE Ocean." Alexis joined her and made her jokes as well.

"Hey, maybe if we all pretended to be Ocean, he would like us more." Cassie sat on Katie's other side and looked at me.

"Don't even try it, girls. Ocean is all that he thinks about. Trust me when I say that. He is completely obsessed." Ryan was now sitting next to me, his tray of food in his hands.

"I don't know if I would say obsessed, but he's definitely hyper focused on him. But hey, that's what love is, right?" Ben sat on my right, opposite of Ryan and came, somewhat, to my defense.

"I am just tired, annoyed, and I want to know how Ocean is doing. His mom isn't letting me call him while I am at school. When I tried between classes, she just angrily yelled at me and said that I needed to focus on my education and take lots of notes so that Ocean could catch up when he was out of the hospital." I felt miserable and lonely, even though I was surrounded by my friends at the moment.

"HAHA! That's funny. And just like the Mrs. Shores that I remember." Ryan laughed at me.

"Yeah, I am learning that she is like this more often than not. She's scary." I mumbled the words as I agreed with him.

"Oh, that's for sure. I remember some of the times when Ocean did stupid stuff when we were younger. She would just look at him with this really scary look and he would instantly apologize and make sure to never do it again." Ben was laughing as he agreed with Ryan.

"That's nothing." Katie piped up. "Did you ever meet his sister? Man, she was scary. I remember when we all went to Ocean's house for his birthday when we were freshmen. His sister literally stared down any girl that got close to him. I wonder if she knew Ocean was going to wind up with a man or something. Still, she didn't want to let anyone touch her precious little brother at the time. It was scary at the time, but I can appreciate the adorableness of it all now. I mean, she would hug Ocean to her and say things like 'oh, my little baby brother, I love you so much, Ocean' and he would try to push her away while saying something like 'get off me you crazy brat, leave me alone'. Man did that piss her off, but it also just made her want to snuggle him even more. It was funny, in retrospect. It was scary at the time, but funny now." 

"Oh, I remember that, but his brother was even worse." Alexis chimed in. "I remember back then I had this huge crush on Ocean. I was talking to my friend about it at the party and his brother overheard. He came up to us with this friendly look on his face and said something like: 'Oh, you like my baby brother, Ocean, well you can't have him. He is too important and precious to our family. Stay away from him. Just love him from afar. I tell you it was such a relief when his siblings stopped coming to his parties." All of the girls just started to laugh together as they reminisced about my boyfriend's past.

I liked this. I was learning a lot about Ocean that I had never known before and I was learning about what his family was like as well. This was so much fun for me. And it was actually putting a smile on my face. I wanted to learn even more about Ocean, his family, and when he was younger. I had a feeling that I would never find this stuff out unless I heard it from third party sources.

It was definitely helping me to feel a lot better. I wasn't with my Ocean, but I was talking about him, and that was pretty good in its own way as well. Dammit! I just wanted to go and see him right now. Why did I have to be here at school while he was hurt and needing me? Why couldn't I go and see how he was doing right this minute? 

And I really wish that things would have kept going good like this. If only things would have just stayed between me and my friends like that. That would have been the best way for me to spend my lunch break. Even though I wasn't eating I would have considered it a good lunch.

But no. Things couldn't stay like that. No matter how much I wished that things would be peaceful and easy for me for once, life had other ideas for me. Dammit! Why couldn't it be peaceful, huh? Why couldn't it have been peaceful and easy for me for once? Didn't I deserve that much? Didn't I deserve to be happy and peaceful? 

"Makai Rivers!" I heard a very unpleasant and unwanted voice call out to me from across the cafeteria. I didn't need to turn to see who it was, I knew who had called out to me the moment that I heard that eardrum ruining sound. "I hate you, Makai Rivers. You ruin everything." Ugh, that piercing voice, it truly was painful and grated on my nerves.

Slowly, I lifted my head from the table and turned to look at the person that had called out to me. I took my time doing it because I really didn't want to see what she wanted, or even look at her. This was going to be a nasty and unpleasant confrontation and I would much rather continue to just talk about the good stuff with my friends.

She was standing there, glaring at me with her hate-filled eyes practically dripping venom and daggers flying from her eyes. Her hands were on her hips, feet spread wide as she huffed and puffed. I actually thought that fire might spew from her disgusting mouth as she breathed so heavily.

"What do you want, Brittney?" I rose to my feet and turned to face her. I knew that she wanted a big confrontation in front of everyone, hence the scene she was already making. At least she didn't have a gang of goons with her this time. Not having to deal with the goon squad from last time would make this easier on me.

"What do I want?" She scoffed at me. "Like you can't figure it out on your own." She just spat the words at me in anger and flipped her disgusting looking hair.

"Nope, I can't think of anything. Aside from the simple fact that you just want to annoy me, I don't know what on earth you could possibly want." I made it quite clear that I was annoyed and pissed off at her right now. She was ruining what was looking like a good time talking about my Ocean. Damn her and her fucking attitude.

"What I want, Makai Rivers, is for you to leave. I want you out of our fucking school. Ever since you got here it's been one tragedy after another. I think it's you that hurt both Ocean and Justin. Just like you hurt Ocean back in September. And you turned him gay just to steal him away from me. You're toxic. You're disgusting. You don't need to be here in our school. None of us want you here."

Hmm. That was news to me. I looked around the room at all the people that were listening in and thought about how many of them would want me here and how many of them wouldn't. I knew that there were at least a fair few that wanted me here but I didn't know about the rest of them.. So, how full of truth were her words? From the faces that I could see looking at me, I didn't think that she knew what the rest of the students wanted at all.