A Wave Of Desire

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Ocean

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All week I had felt like my entire world had caught on fire. I felt like I had crashed at the hospital, or probably more like at the swim meet, and now I was slowly burning while everyone I knew just went about their daily lives.

Every day since I left the hospital I had been forced to sit out from practice. My parents were even in on it all so they would get in my way whenever I tried to swim at all. I was never left alone for long since they acted like they couldn't trust me not to hop into the first thing I saw that was filled with water.

They were probably right though. I was so desperate for a chance to be in the water that I was taking really long baths every day. That didn't make my parent's happy either. They thought I was being ridiculous about all of this.

I'd like to see them have the one thing that gives their lives a purpose get taken away from them. Let's see how ridiculous they think I was being then. I swear this week lasted for a year, or longer.

It all started on Monday when I went to school. I was alone now since I was single and all that. I didn't get to practice so I hadn't been at the pool. I sat in class and did my best to study and take notes. It sucked though. I hated that I had too much energy to even listen to the teacher. Not to mention Makai glared at me the whole time. I felt his eyes boring holes into me. Brittney wasn't sitting next to him. Was she pretending to act hurt that we weren't together so he would feel pity for her? She probably would tell him that I dumped her.

This continued on Tuesday. No practice. Too much energy to concentrate. Brittney sitting as far from me as she could. Makai glaring at me from the other side of the room.

This was beginning to become a routine. But there was something else as well. There was another major thing that had happened to mess with me.

Makai had been added to the ballot as class president. I knew he wanted everything that I wanted. What made it worse, student polls put us neck and neck for the election and popularity. How was this possible? He had only been here a week and a half for crying out loud.

I was steadily slipping into a bout of depression. I could sense it. It wasn't even that I had lost my girlfriend. She was a bitch anyway. And it wasn't just that I was losing out on becoming the next class president. That wasn't the major issue.

No, I think it had to do with the fact that everything I knew about my life was changing. And it was changing too quickly. I didn't have time to adjust. I hadn't even seen it coming. By the time my birthday got here I probably wouldn't recognize a single thing about my life.

I had a follow up at the doctor's on Thursday, to see how I was doing. I was eager for him to give me the go ahead to swim again. I mean, if the doctor said I was better the coach had to believe it, right?

I got what I wanted. Thankfully. The doctor told me that my head was fine and I was looking much better than when I was at the hospital. Even better than when I was released from the hospital. That was good, considering how shitty I had been feeling this whole time.

I went straight to see the coach first thing Friday morning. I went to see him at practice, which I hadn't been to in what felt like forever. He was happy to get that letter from the doctor. He said he was glad that I was cleared by the doctor to swim again. However, Coach still made me sit out for the weekend.

"It's not just that you had needed to be cleared, Ocean. This was a punishment too. I am sticking with it. You can rejoin practice on Monday morning. Until then don't you dare set foot in the water."

"Coach Dickson, don't do this. I need to be in the water."

"I'm sorry Ocean, the punishment stands. Thank you for bringing this to me. Now head on to the library and study until it's time for class. I will see you in first period."

I had to drag my feet down the hall as I went. There was nothing I could do. I hadn't been given the go ahead like I had thought I would. This was truly the worst time in my life so far.

I was sitting in the library, trying to study like I had been told, when Ryan came up to me.

"Hey man. I haven't had the chance to talk to you in a few days. How's your noggin?"

"Fine." I tried not to snap the word at him. I know it wasn't his fault I was being punished.

"That's good. So, I saw Brittney and Kai the other day."

"Great, good for them." I didn't want to hear about this at all. As soon as he had said that bitch's name I started to pack my stuff up so I could get to class. It was only five minutes until the bell would ring anyway. "I hope they're happy together."

I stormed away from the table and into the hallway. Ryan had seemed a little shocked by my attitude and tried calling after me.

"Ocean, you didn't let me finish."

I knew they were together. I just knew it. They may be hiding it at school but people still saw them.. That was just great.