A Wave Of Desire

~~

Ben

~~

Ocean and Kai had bought me and Ryan a trip for the weekend. We had one night at the house where we were alone. That had been when Kai's parents left for the trial for Brittney. They told us when they were leaving, but they didn't tell us when they were coming back.

That night, we were alone. Only we didn't do anything to take advantage of that time that it was just the two of us. I think that we were both just too nervous as well. Neither of us knew how to be alone together in that way.

I wanted to be alone with Ryan. I wanted to be with him in that way. I have wanted it for a long time. I have been in love with him for so long that it was all that I thought about for the longest time. Now, though, neither of us knew how to be together. Neither of us have been with another man before. Hell, we hadn't even been with a woman before. And that, right there, was causing half of the problem.

OK, it was causing more than half of the problem. It was THE problem. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to act. And that was making me so damn nervous.

I had kissed Ryan. Over these last couple of weeks that we had been together we had made out quite a bit in our room. We cuddled with each other in bed almost every night. And that was basically it. neither of us did or tried anything.

I know that Ryan wanted to, though. We both did. I know he wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him. We just needed to get over the nerves first. That was all we needed. We needed to just take that leap with each other. And I hoped, with all of my heart, that this weekend would be that time. I mean, it was clear that Ocean and Kai were trying to help us with that aspect of our relationship.

I was grateful for them. I really was. And I really hoped that we could take that step this weekend. It would be the best feeling in the world, becoming one with the man that I was in love with.

While I was trying to think about all of that stuff, I was busy packing my bag for this weekend. I needed a variety of clothes because I didn't even know where we were going to be going. Were we staying in? Were we going out to a movie or out to dinner? Were we going to go to the beach? Were we doing anything at all? I didn't know the answer to any of these questions, so I needed to be prepared. And I know how stupid that all of this made me seem, but I just couldn't help it. 

I was scared. I was nervous. I was worried. I was happy. I was excited. I was feeling a little bit of everything at once. And honestly, it kind of felt pretty good to be experiencing these emotions. It was new and good.

Still, trying to find out what to take with me on this weekend away was like trying to figure out how to trek across Antarctica. It was hard as hell.

I think I managed it though. I had packed more than enough for the trip at least. So, it had better be done. Dammit! I was starting to act different. I was so excited that I was letting down my barriers and deflectors. I just needed to put them back into place before I went back to school on Monday. 

~~

Ryan

~~

Yes! This was it. This was the weekend that Ben and I were going to be going out of town. This was the night that we left for the hotel trip that Ocean and Kai had booked for us. They said that it was to thank us for all the help we had given them lately. I knew the truth though. I knew why they had really done this for us.

I knew that Ocean and Kai had wanted to give us a chance to be alone. They wanted to give me and Ben the chance to take the next step in our relationship.

Yeah, I know at first that I was oppositional to our relationship, but now I understand how I feel and how Ben feels. And every day that I am with him, I just want to be with him. I want us to take that step. I want us to be together in every way possible. That is my dream now.

Yeah, we both still had a lot going on in our lives. My parents, specifically my dad, didn't want me home anymore. Ben's mom was a raging bitch, and his dad was too much of a coward to see him. Essentially, we both lost everything recently, but we had each other and that was all that mattered.

I would never want anyone other than Ben. He was everything for me. I wanted him with me for life. He had already been with me for most of my life. He had been such a staple part of my everyday that I took him for granted, and I didn't realize what he meant to me until it was almost too late. Now, I would never make that mistake again. Now, I had him in my arms every single day.

Right now, Ben was up in our room packing his bag. I didn't need to do that. I had packed my bag like five times since I knew we were leaving. I was just too excited to leave it for the last minute. However, I was so nervous about it all that I kept second guessing myself and unpacking it just to put all the same stuff in it again and again.

As soon as Ben was done and he came downstairs, we were going to be leaving. I was going to be driving us into the city and taking us to check in at the hotel. The hotel was all set and paid for by Kai. Man, he was such a good friend. He was even paying for all the food that we were going to be eating on the trip. I only needed to use my money if I wanted to buy something special for my boyfriend.

That felt awesome. Saying that, and thinking that. Ben was my boyfriend. I was Ben's boyfriend. We were boyfriends. That was totally awesome to think about. And it was going to get even better. Because, as good, amazing and mind blowing that kissing Ben was, I knew that connecting with him on that extra level would be even better.

Finally, I heard Ben coming down the stairs. It was almost time to leave. I was waiting for him in the hall, watching for the moment that he came into view.

"Mmm mmm mmm. Now that is a good sight."

"Hahh." He sighed as if he didn't appreciate my ogling of him. "You're so over the top sometimes." He was laughing at least. So, I knew that he was not mad at me.

"Can you blame me? I mean, you do know how fucking hot you are, right? Do I need to tell you? If I have to, I will. I will tell you every single day for the rest of my life. Benton Kennedy you are the hottest man that I have ever seen in my entire life. You are so fucking hot that I can't wait to get to that hotel and be alone with you."

"Alright you two, enough of this. Head to the hotel before you start trying to jump each other right here." Mr. Rivers, Kai's dad, was laughing as he came out of the kitchen with his wife.

"Sorry, Mr. Rivers." Ben blushed as he finished coming down the stairs.

"It's fine. And you don't have to be so formal. You live in my house now. You can call me Reef or even Dad. I don't mind being there for you boys. You've been there for my son and his boyfriend. I owe you two so much." It was time for both me and Ben to feel a little embarrassed now.

"Thank you, Sir. I think that Ben and I both needed someone like you in our lives." I smiled at him.

"GAH! There you go calling me Sir. You boys are making me feel so old." He was laughing and trying to break the tension in the room. He really was a good guy.

"Yeah, we will work on it all, Reef." I finally called him by his first name. "You know, that is an unusual name. You and Ocean both have water oriented names. It's pretty funny." I laughed about it and so did he.

"I think that the people that named me and Ocean had a sense of humor. I know that my parents did. I don't know about the person that gave Ocean his name. Still, at least we don't need to worry about someone else having the same name as us. They're not exactly common, are they?" He laughed and leaned against the wall.

"Hush, Reef. The boys have enough on their minds without you and your silly jokes." Mrs. Rivers was coming into the hall from the kitchen now. "Hello boys, are you all ready to go?" She was nice and really sweet. She was a lot like Ocean's mom. Always there for us.

"Yeah, I think we are." I looked up at Ben to see him nodding.

"That's good. Here, this is for you. It's to cover everything that Makai didn't think of before." She was holding an envelope out to me, and I could clearly tell that it was stuffed with cash.

"What? No. We can't take that." I couldn't believe what she was doing.

"I insist. It would make both me and Reef feel better. And like he said, you can call me by my first name, or you can call me Mom. I don't mind. You two are like our own sons now too. Our family just keeps on growing."

"A..are you sure?" I was still hesitant, but I knew that she would just keep on insisting if I refused.

"Yes, please take it." Tentatively, I reached out and took the envelope. It was a lot heavier than I thought it would be.

"Th..thank you, M..M..Mom."

"OH COME ON! Why am I Reef and she's Mom? Even Ocean does that."

"HA HA HA!" All three of us started to laugh.

"I am beginning to think that no one loves me." He was pretending to pout now.

"Don't worry, Dad, we love you too. Don't we, Ryan?" Ben was right there next to me and nodded as if he was trying to tell me something. I knew what he was getting at, so it was fine.

"Yeah Dad, we love you." At the same time, Ben and I rushed forward and hugged Reef tightly. We held him in the air between us.

"AHH! YOU SAVAGES!" He was laughing as we spun him around. "OK, put me down now boys." He seemed happy now and that was a good thing. "We want you two to have a good weekend. Go have some fun and come home safe on Sunday"

"We will." I took Ben's hand and started toward the door. "Thank you Mom, and you too, Dad. See you later."

"Bye, boys!" Analise called after us.

"See ya, boys."

With that, we ran to the car, loaded our bags that we were holding, and hopped into our seats. It was time for us to hit the road and have a good time.

It took us about an hour or so to get to the hotel. From there we checked in, got out keys, and then headed up to our room.. It was time for this weekend of fun to truly begin.