A Wave Of Desire

~~

Ocean

~~

Unfortunately, my parents knew exactly what I had done last night. How they knew, I couldn't tell. It was probably that weird parental know it all power that they seemed to have.

Mom was waiting for me in the kitchen with breakfast ready. Dad had met me at the door. They had stern expressions for me when they saw me. I knew what they were thinking. I knew I had disappointed them.

Even though we were sitting down to have breakfast, which they totally could have denied me, I could tell that questioning and lecturing was coming soon. I tried my best to enjoy the food as much as I could. It was hard though since I was sitting there feeling like a convict on death row eating his last meal.

Were they going to force me to quit the team? Were they going to do something else that was even worse?

Yeah, sure, I was almost eighteen. That didn't matter though. I was still dependent on them to provide me with food and shelter. My job has always been to go to school, to learn, and to swim. I was expected to go to college and get a degree so that I could work and pay my own way in the future.

As pathetic as it made me sound I couldn't leave home just yet. I don't know how many typical high school seniors could to be honest. I couldn't afford tuition. I definitely couldn't get my own apartment. I would need two or three jobs to pay it all and that would mean that I would have to drop out of school, and that wasn't going to happen.

Nope, for now I had to abide by the rules and hope that I didn't get thrown into solitary confinement by the Warden. That is if mom didn't decide to just up and execute me. She could be pretty vicious for such a kindhearted person. 

When the food was gone and it was time to talk I suddenly felt very nervous. My mouth went dry and I could feel my heart pounding very hard. Mom, as always, was the one to start.

"Where were you?" Her voice was hard and there was a sharp edge to it. I felt like if I didn't duck my head would have been sliced off with those words.

"I was at the beach." It was true.

"You've been told that you can't swim yet you do it anyway?" Mom snapped at me and I flinched reflexively. She can scare the shit out of me, seriously.

"No!" I denied it immediately. "I didn't go into the water. I just watched the water from the beach. It helps to calm me down."

"And why do you need to calm down? Why did you go to get drunk at the beach?" Mom knew, she always knew. That's why I had wanted to sneak into the house before they caught me but that didn't happen. Why didn't I set my alarm on my phone like I usually did?

"I've had a lot of things to think about lately, I needed some time alone." I hung my head in shame so my parents couldn't see the sorrow that was building up behind my eyes.

"I know it's hard son, but your coach was doing what he thought was best for you. You had to take the time to rest."

Dad was thinking this all had to do with me being banned from swimming for the week. Yeah, that didn't help at all but that wasn't the only thing that was going on.

"This has nothing to do with that." The answer was short and could have been curt, but I kept my voice soft so that it didn't sound so rude.

"Then what is it? What's going on with you?" Mom sounded like she was pleading with me. There was worry in her eyes as she stared at me.

I didn't want them to know. I didn't want them to think that they had been right about Brittney all along. It would have been too hard to hear them sound happy about the fact that Makai was dating Brittney now. Of all people, why did she have to go after him?

"Ocean, tell us what is going on with you." Dad tried to sound firm but he had nothing on mom's level of parenting. Still, I didn't answer him.

"Ocean." Mom said my name with that voice that she used to scare the devil into giving her his pitchfork. I swear there was nothing that she couldn't get if she was angry at someone.

"Hahh." I sighed as I prepared to answer them, after a moment though, I continued. "Brittney broke up with me. And now she's dating Makai."

"Oh, Ocean." Mom sounded sad. "When?"

"The day of the accident. She came to the hospital and dumped me."

"What a fucking skank!" Dad growled the words after hearing what happened.

"Dad?" I was shocked to hear him talk like that.

"Phineas?" Mom sounded equally shocked.

"Don't give me that, Steph, you thought it too." Dad was acting like nothing had happened. What the hell was going on here?"

It took a while for the excitement of those words to die down, but soon my parents were back to lecturing me. Yay me.

"I know that on Monday Coach Dickson is letting you back into practice. Just know this, if I ever catch you drinking again, I swear I will make you regret it." Of all the words that Mom had said or any of the ones that she did say, those were probably the scariest of them all.

"Yes Ma'am." I sat up straighter when I answered her. It hadn't just been in response to her words, it had also been in response to the evil look she was giving me. I kind of just wanted to fall to my knees and plead for forgiveness.. Please Mommy, spare me.