A Wave Of Desire

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Makai

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I can't believe that I had said that Ocean looked good when I got out of the shower. To be fair I thought he was asleep and that it would be just as hard to wake up as the night before. I never expected him to grin and ask why I was talking to myself.

I am pretty sure that at the time Ocean thought I was calling myself hot until he opened his eyes and saw me looking at him. He just looked so good, so perfect, and so vulnerable that I had to keep going.

I reminded him of what had happened between us that night. I knew that he had thought it was just a dream. I knew he had played it off as just the alcohol playing tricks on his mind. He might have been able to forget it but I had been forced to live with the memories of his lips and his body everyday since that night. And dammit, I was at my limit of self control. I needed to show him how I felt about him. I needed him to know what I wanted from him.

Though straddling him might have been a bit overkill. And kissing him like that probably was too. I know that I went too far when I pressed my erection against his and proceeded to grind out hips together. That had been the point at which he pushed me away and screamed one word that was clear of his nervous stutter.

"Don't."

I was stunned. Not because Ocean had pushed me away from him but because I had been basically taking advantage of him. I was talking to him so rudely. I had forcefully kissed him. I had even pressed myself against him. Just because he had kissed me back and was aroused as well didn't mean that I had the right to do any of that to him. He hadn't given me any type of permission.

In all honesty what I had done to him was horrible. Then I had said such despicable things to him. I had asked him if I was the only man he had ever kissed. The shock in his eyes and the stiffness in his body that had nothing to do with his groin told me that I was. I didn't need to point it out. Then I pointed out that I basically knew he was a virgin because I could tell he had only ever kissed Brittney. Fuck! I am such an asshole. No wonder he got up and ran away from me.

I don't blame him one bit for locking himself in the bathroom and hiding from me. He was aroused because it was a normal bodily reaction. It had nothing to do with me. I was an idiot for thinking he liked me at all. I lusted after the guy so much and I just fucking ruined any chances I had with him. This was just great.

After I tried and failed to coax him out of the bathroom, and after my many, many apologies to him, I just decided to go to bed. I propped myself up in the chair like he had done the night before and was asleep before he ever came out of the bathroom.

I don't know when he finally went to bed but when I woke up in the morning, courtesy of the sun playing peek-a-boo with the curtains and my eyes, Ocean was laying in the bed. He had also taken the same blanket from the bed that I had draped over him and laid it over me. At least he didn't totally hate me. I hadn't made him want to kill me or anything like that.

When I pulled the blanket off of myself and folded it up I realized I was still wearing nothing but my boxers. That could very well be why he had covered me up. I might have made Ocean even more uncomfortable since I was being so indecent. It wasn't any worse than our uniforms but it was in a different context so it made a difference. And I had never pressed my groin against Ocean while we were at a meet or a practice. If I had I probably would have traumatized him.

I got up silently and got dressed. I didn't want to wake Ocean yet since I didn't know how much sleep he had gotten but I also knew we had to get ready for the day. Maybe I would just go to the lobby and then call the room from the courtesy phone. That seemed like a nice safe alternative.

Right as I was about to leave the room and just call Ocean to wake him up he sat up in the bed. He sat up so straight and so fast that it was like he had been startled awake. I saw a look in his eyes that was like he was confused for a moment. He was looking right at me, blinking over and over as if he was trying to remember something important.

I also saw the moment that the memories seemed to flood back to him. Ocean's cheeks burned so red that I thought he might pass out from the over stimulation of blood to his brain. His eyes were also opened so wide that I could see the whites completely circling those beautiful irises of his. And lastly, I could see that he was hard. Now that could have been there when he woke up and it might have been caused when he saw me, I don't know. I just know that Ocean looked so shocked and embarrassed right then that I didn't think that he was ever going to talk to me again.

I was wrong though, again. Because Ocean just turned his head so that he was looking away from me and spoke in a voice that I could tell he was concentrating on very hard.

"Good...Morning." He managed to not stutter but he had still spoken very slowly. He was nervous.

"Good morning, Ocean." I did my best to make my voice calm and even. "Can we talk?" I wanted to fix this if he was willing.

"Not...Now." He was still speaking in that halting and slow way as he had from before. "After."

"After?" I was confused. "After what?"

"Tournament."

"Oh, I get it. You want to talk after we compete. That is fine. I don't want to ruin things before you win. Just, I want you to know that I am sorry. I didn't mean to cause you problems last night." I put as much sincerity into my words as I could.

"No...Not...Now." He sounded angry but he looked calm. This was so confusing and hard for me. Sometimes I just wish I didn't have this attraction for him.

"Ocean-."

"LATER!" He snapped that one word at me as he got out of the bed.

Ocean had grabbed his bag and went to get dressed. I felt like I had taken all the progress we had made and sent it back to less than how things were when we first met. Hell, I would rather go back to that first day when he thought I was there to take his place at the school. That would be so much easier to deal with than this situation.

I didn't want him to think I was running away, even though I was thinking about doing just that before he had woken up. So when he came out of the bathroom I was waiting for him.

"Ready for breakfast?" I asked him with a smile to show that I was treating him the same as I had been before last night.

"Pack..Our stuff." He was still trying his best to not stutter. It was making him sound kind of like a caveman. I thought it was adorable, but I wasn't about to tell him that.

"Yeah, we need to check out today, don't we. Let's make sure we have everything."

We both searched the room, though it wasn't very big. We made sure there was nothing that fell out of our bags that we might have missed. Then I checked the bathroom to look for forgotten items. I didn't find anything, unless you want to count some white sticky stuff that I don't remember being there before. I might be imagining things and I might not. Still, I had to hide the smile and laugh as I left the bathroom.

We were once again the first ones at breakfast. We sat together again but this time it was awkward instead of comfortable. When the rest of the team showed up and Ryan and Ben sat with us, Ocean didn't say a word. He was probably afraid that he was going to stutter again. I managed to play it off that he was just hyper focused and concentrating on the tournament. Ryan said he understood since we all four needed to compete today. We all wanted to just sit there quietly after that.

I couldn't stop myself from looking over at Ocean as he ate his breakfast, which I noticed was way smaller than yesterday's.

And I felt broken hearted when Ocean slid into the seat with Ryan which forced me to sit with Ben instead. I wanted what we had back. I had broken it all.