A Wave Of Desire

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Ocean

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I was in a hurry to get out of my house. I felt weird with my parents there with me and Makai, especially after what had happened last night. I wasn't exactly ashamed of what happened last night, but I also wasn't ready for my parents to know what was going on with us just yet.

In all honesty, I still couldn't believe that I did that last night myself. And I still couldn't get over the fact that Makai knew what to do. Has he really done this with someone before? How many people has he been with before? I both did and didn't want to know the answer to that.

I rode with Makai back to his place. It had dawned on me that I didn't even know where he lived. That was something I really should know, right? Considering that he was my b..b..boyfriend.

I should get over it and accept that I was really dating him. What else could I consider it, really? I mean, I wanted to see him all the time, he makes me happy, and I fucking sucked him off last night. If that isn't someone that I considered the person I was dating that I don't know what was.

"You're awfully quiet." The object of my thoughts interjected as I contemplated our status.

"I was just thinking, that's all."

"Nothing bad, I hope." He sounded a little nervous.

"Are you worried that I regret last night?" I must have nailed it because I chose that moment to look at him and saw that he looked a little embarrassed and nervous.

"Well, do you?" His voice shook just a little when he asked me that.

"Do you?" I turned his question back onto him.

"Not at all, but that wasn't my first one so that's different." There he goes confirming that he has more experience than me.

"Really? How many have you had? Or how many have you given?" I glared at him, unable to control the emotions coursing through me.

"Not many, for either, but I admit that there have been a couple."

I felt the anger and jealousy burn inside of me. I already knew that I got jealous easily when it came to him. I figured that out a couple of weeks ago when he flirted with the waiter like a prick.

"Huh." I turned to look out the window and didn't say anything else for a minute. I didn't like the idea that he had been with someone before me, but then again it happened before me so, should I really be jealous?

"Ocean?" He sounded even more nervous now. "Ocean, are you alright?"

"Yup. I'm just fine."

"You don't sound fine." More nerves, and was that a hint of fear? I didn't know, because I wasn't looking at him. "I'm sorry that I pushed you too far last night. I..I just couldn't help myself. I..I really wanted to be with you more than I had before." I heard him sigh before he continued to talk. "I should have known that you would regret it. I'm so sorry."

"I don't regret it." I snapped at him, finally turning to look him in the eyes.

"Then why are you mad at me?" I noticed that he had stopped driving, but I didn't look out the window, I was too pissed off right now.

"Because you've been with other people before me. I know I shouldn't be mad, but that pisses me off."

"You're jealous?" He grinned as if happy about that fact.

"Yes, Makai, I'm fucking jealous. Does that make you happy?" I felt myself panting when I was done.

"Actually, yes it does. I'm not going to lie and say that I haven't done anything, but I haven't exactly been a manwhore or anything, so you don't need to worry." I watched him shrug and smirk. "Anyway, come on, let's go inside."

I looked around me then. I hadn't been paying attention to where we were or anything at all really, and somehow we had made it to his house without me even seeing the way to get there. Well, that sucks, now I don't know how to get here.

And, holy fucking shit! I didn't even know that someone lived in a house like this inside our town. Were we still in town? We were in the middle of a large sweeping driveway, and I saw a big gated fence that circled the entire property to give them privacy. The house was huge and white with elaborate designs. The garage had multiple doors that opened up as Makai moved the car toward it. Was it on an auto sensor or something? Because I didn't see him hit a button for it. There were several other buildings on the property that I couldn't quite make out yet. This place was massive.

"How rich are your parents?" I asked him. "I didn't expect this." It flabbergasted me, literally, I didn't know what to do or say. Should I even go inside this place?

"It's too much, honestly. It's just the three of us. The staff doesn't live on the grounds, but we did buy their houses too. I don't like to be here all that much because when my parents are gone, it's just me. The same was true back in Florida so nothing really changed much."

"You really are always alone, aren't you?" My heart was breaking for him as I thought about it. I didn't want him to be lonely or sad.

"I'm not alone when I'm with you." He grinned, and I just had to laugh at that cheesy line of his.

"Alright, that's enough cheese out of you, Mr. Velveeta." The both of us laughed as we got out of the car. I followed him inside as he unlocked the door and treated the place like it was any other house.

The garage opened into a storage room that seemed to double as a work room. From there we passed through to the kitchen. I could see a large walk-in pantry off the kitchen. There were large side by side fridge and freezers; they were separate units so each one was massive. The entire kitchen looked like a place that you would cook for a whole party of people, not just one or three people.

All of the rooms were massive, the living room, the dining room, even the hallways. Makai took me on a tour right away, saying something about him not wanting me to get lost when I was here. I could understand that since there were a lot of rooms, including eight bedrooms. Well, I guess when I stayed over I could have my own room. That was good, and bad.

When we got to Makai's room I was finally able to see what his personal space looked like. He had been spending a lot of time in mine lately, so I thought this was only fair.

Makai's room was massive, just like everything else. He had a large, king sized bed that was centered perfectly. The floor was a nice red oak colored hardwood and it was covered in dark navy blue rugs at key points near the bed, the sofa, and the reading nook near the window.

"Your room is bigger than most studio apartments." I laughed as I looked around.

"Yeah, but it doesn't feel like home yet." He shrugged.

"Did Florida feel like home?"

"Nope." He shook his head and flopped onto the couch.

"Then what feels like home to you?" 

"My answer used to be the water. I would feel the most at home when I was in the water and swimming. That was the simplest and easiest answer that I could ever give." His head was leaning on the back of the sofa with his arm slung over his eyes while he spoke so I couldn't see most of his face even as I went to sit across from him at the other end of the sofa.

"Used to? So the water doesn't even feel like home to you now? Does anything feel like home anymore, or are you lost and adrift with no place to go?" He laughed at that, I almost did too' it was melodramatic and sounded funny even to me.

"Yeah, I have found somewhere that I feel comfortable. Somewhere that I want to return. Somewhere that feels like I belong."

"Really? Where?" I was intrigued by his words and wanted to hear more about where it was that he wanted to go. Though it kind of hurt, if it meant that he wanted to leave.

I watched nervously as he leaned forward, taking his arm off of his face and looking at me. He leaned in close, invading my personal space, but not touching me at all.

"By your side. Wherever you are, Ocean, that's where I feel the most comfortable." I could tell by the look in his eyes that he meant what he said, and that was what made it even worse.