About Your Pride and My Prejudice

Chapter 102: She Drowned Me In Her Sea

T/N: POV shifts to Alan

The reason Alan hurried early in the morning to return to the mansion as soon as possible was to keep his promise to return home more often in the future.

He thought that it was indeed fortunate that he had made such a promise. No matter how much winter resists, in the end, just like the snow melts, he also fell in love helplessly. It’s something that makes him smile. How lucky it is to be able to hide his feelings under the pretext of keeping a promise.

Actually he wanted to hug Melissa, but at the same time he didn’t want to hug her. But now he realized that the little lake-like woman is actually a sea and deep enough to completely cover him, there was nothing he could do but just to drown in her.

“……That little woman.”

When he thought of her sleeping face and slightly open lips, he laughed unexpectedly.

In any case, he, who was in a hurry to go home, did not go to buy flowers as usual and ran straight to the mansion. Instead, he thought he would pick flowers that suited Melissa, so he had a horse stand on one side of the spacious garden.

The look of the woman with the bouquet in her arms was one of the most impressive and pretty things he had ever seen. The soft hair and eyes, like warm wood and fine soil, matched any flower like a picture.

It was her who asked for flowers, but preparing flowers for Melissa Collins was actually a job for himself as well.

“Alan!”

Thus, Alan, who got out of the carriage, doubted his ears and froze.

“……Monica?”

Monica ignored him again and came into the mansion. That fact alone made his beautiful brows distorted. He was sure to warn her very firmly that it should never happen again.

“Why are you here?”

Alan said with a chilling voice like a knife. If she, who is like a vicious thorn, hurts the fragile artist he hid in the detached house again, then…….

“Oh my God, Alan…….”

But it was her sad tears that made him unable to urge her to return immediately.

“What’s going on?”

“Abel is…”

Monica, whose face was ruined by tears, shed tears like jewels. Alan had a hunch that something serious had happened.

He asked, taking a handkerchief out of his arms.

“What’s wrong with Abel Maurice?”

It was the name of the tutor Alan gave to Melissa Collins. A man who has been by Monica Elwood’s side for quite some time.

He was patient enough to put up with Monica and knew her family well. Moreover, as a writer with his own reputation in the Principality, there was no one more suited to the character Alan was looking for.

Not wanting to let go of Melissa Collins, who lit up her eyes while talking about her studies abroad, Alan decided to give her the author from Principality. That was the best alternative he could offer.

It was absolutely unacceptable for him to see Melissa leave his side to take boring classes at an insignificant academy.

Of course Alan didn’t know there was some kind of bond between him and Monica because he just didn’t really care.

Moreover, if he had to attach a man to Melissa, who is as sweet and soft as cream, and as pure as water, it would have been better off with a man who doesn’t have an empty space in his heart. So it was rather a relief.

It was true that when he heard that he dared to press his lips down on the thin hand that wrote noble sentences, he had a terrible thought about killing him.

“He’s dead, Alan…….”

Absolutely it wasn’t the truth.

There were times when he felt terrible about himself. Still, Alan did not consider himself a monster like Ian Leopold. Not yet.

“……Dead?”

“Yes…… What should I do…….”

“Are you sure? How did you know that?”

“I suddenly had a dream about the past……. The dreams of our young days……. So as soon as I woke up, I went to see him…….”

Alan narrowed his brows. Monica leaned her cheek against his chest, sobbing pitifully as she saw his glassy, cool eyes getting narrowed.

“Leaving a suicide note……. Ha….”

“…….”

“You know, Alan. In the principality I……… I’ve always been alone……. Because you and dad were at Sourne…….”

Alan Leopold’s life was marked by misfortune that no one else knew, but Monica Elwood’s situation was no different from that. They were the only ones who shared a misfortune that no one in the world could understand.

“So…… Abel told me…….”

Alan hesitated for a moment when she buried her face deeper in his arms. It was because he thought her cheeks would be scratched by the rough woolen lapel. Then a cold wind blew and Monica trembled, so Alan quickly opened the front of his coat and covered Monica’s back.

Only then could Monica hear his heart beat.

“I guess I was relying on him more than I thought……. What do I do now, I…….uh, hik.”

Alan was a little perplexed to see Monica Elwood crying so pitifully for the first time.

“……Monica.”

She was bold, stubborn, and arrogant everywhere, but she acted like an innocent girl only in front of him just like during their childhood. No matter how cold-hearted, and sometimes vicious he was, he remained the same.

His own life was too damned for him to be gentle with her, and the memory of his poor childhood to be completely abandoned was revived and weighed on his nerves.

Just as Troy without a surname became Alan Leopold, he slowly turned into a completely different person. Throughout the process, Monica stayed by his side. It would be a lie if he had never relied on that unwavering character of Monica.

She was the only family member of the man he hated, who couldn’t even be called a sister. Nevertheless, Monica Elwood, who did not receive her father’s surname, had no family. So it was the same that she didn’t become real either. Real things don’t live in the shade.

“Alan, what do I do now……? Please tell me…….”

The reason why he suddenly feels pity for her in his arms is probably because he remembered two children who were sharing weak warmth against each other’s small backs among expressionless and cold adults.

Alan whispered in a low voice.

“……What can you do? You have to keep living.”

“I’m scared…”

Alan felt his shirt soaking wet, but he didn’t push her away and still smoothed her hair. It was not as careful as it was when he played with his secret artist’s hair with his hand-picked bina, but it was anyways a soft touch.

“You will stay with me forever, right……?”

“…….”

“Say yes, Alan…….”

His hands, wearing thin leather gloves, were exceptionally friendly, and her dense eyelashes were drenched. She pestered him with a lovely voice, even though it must be hard to hold back her tears.

“One day, you won’t disappear from my world without telling me, huh……?”

“I won’t.”

It was a low answer. Monica hugged Alan’s firm waist with her trembling arms. The thin body was trembling so hard that Alan was forced to hug her a little deeper.

“Are you cold?”

Alan had no intention of taking Monica into the mansion, even though he asked. This mansion is not for her. He was going to lend his arms until the tears stopped and send her back to the carriage.

The loss of her was unfortunate, but he had already wasted enough time.

“Yes, it’s cold. It’s very…….”

In fact, it wasn’t from acting that her body was trembling this much, and it wasn’t even cold. It was just that the fact that he was finally in her arms was unbearably overwhelming.

It wasn’t until Alan Leopold pushed himself away. Monica kept repeating in her mind. How many days have I waited for this to happen, how meaningless nights I had to spend.

In exchange for erasing a single, non-existent man from the world, she gained too much.

Abel, you came to me for this. It’s a life worth more than you deserve.

“So give me a little more hug…….”

“Yes.”

Monica, of course, didn’t know that the person in Alan’s heart, on which she was leaning on was not her, but the woman who blushed with a bouquet of flowers in her trembling hands.

Adjusting her posture so that she can be hugged more comfortably, and about the compassion of her childhood days that was now completely dispersed.

“Tell me it’s okay, Alan…….”

“It’s okay.”

Then the wind blew once again, swaying the branches of the tall tree and dropping the leaves. The sound of someone’s footsteps rustling away was also completely hidden.

(T/N: Alan’s POV ends)

* * *

Just a few minutes ago, I was walking somewhere in heaven.

It was the moment I met the masters of heaven that I realized that I was just an uninvited guest to this beautiful paradise.

“Alan….?”

Two people like the red roses were hugging each other affectionately. The way he cares deeply for his noble lady inside his coat was even sublime.

Therefore…… sad tears burst out of my eyes. I imagine my future with him as I please, while only continuing my past and present with unrequited love. I’ve never been his beloved before.

I couldn’t take my eyes off them even though it hurt like my heart was being cut just by looking at them. I stood gazing at them in a hazy, tearful vision.

She said they had each other’s first kiss. Regrettably, I had to admit that Monica’s words were not lies. That they will be the only ones who stand by each other for the rest of their lives.

—Hug me a little more…….

—Okay.

I heard a friendly voice. Sneaking a peek at them, I felt uncontrollable sadness and despondency just because they were dazzlingly beautiful.

In my humble life, there will never be such a beautiful moment. I can’t have or experience such a brilliant moment in my life.

“Ah…….”

It was a distant and helpless feeling that could not be expressed in words of envy and jealousy.

When did Alan come back to the mansion? So he was able to come back this early. Since when have they been here…….

It’s all meaningless now. The desire to shout his name melted and disappeared without me realizing.

Suddenly, the clouds covered the sun and the cold wind scratched my cheeks soaked with tears. A sudden chill swept my heart. What on earth was I dreaming about?

Then, like a lie, everything was useless. I turned around with my mouth shut. I would really die if I hurt my heart any more.

Tears entered my lips and tongue. Grief tastes like salt. So how much sadness is dissolved in the sea? I didn’t know anything. The only thing I’m sure of is the fact that my place isn’t by his side.

The soft grass leaves brushing past the ankles were like a dark nightmare.