About Your Pride and My Prejudice

Chapter 51 : Don’t Trust Men

My great-aunt was sitting in front of the table with an upright posture that was unbelievable for her age.  She kept the rigor and stubbornness characteristic of a noble woman.

This led to the illusion that she was not much different from what I saw in the capital a few years ago, but it didn’t actually take long to notice how small and fragile the old lady became over the years.

Nevertheless, it was fortunate that I didn’t feel just sad. Dressed in her dark, well-groomed dress, her appearance was the same as every moment of her that I remember, and that fact gave me a warm sense of relief.

“Melissa Collins”

My great-aunt called me when she noticed the presence coming over her small glasses. With a voice that is more solemn than happy.

However, her eyes that showed her age had gleamed with a gentle light.

“You already look like a lady.”

“Grandma!”

My worries that the reunion after many years might be awkward disappeared like snow melting, and before I knew it, I was back as a 12-year-old girl who met my great-aunt for the first time.

“It’s been a really long time. Thank you for letting me stay in the mansion.….”

When I hugged her thin shoulders, my great-aunt paused for a moment as if she was bewildered, and gently stroked my back with her wrinkled hands. My breath was weak from the overwhelming smile.

“You’re cold.”

“I’m sorry I’m late, grandma. You must have been hungry.….”

“It’s okay. Did you forget that I don’t usually eat breakfast?”

I stared blankly at the moment when her grandmother’s cold face changed to a soft smile. Thinking that maybe I will remember this moment for a long time.

Shortly thereafter, a simple breakfast was served.  Sitting opposite to each other at the large table, my great-aunt and I enjoyed a leisurely tea time and talked about the past.

For example, it was like this.

“You were so weird when you were young, remember?”

“Ah…”

“How much Jeremy complained that his daughter suddenly had a lot of fantasies when he left you here.”

As I spread a lot of cream on the fragrant scones, I answered, pretending to be surprised.

“Did my dad say that?”

Of course, it is not at all surprising that my parents were deeply concerned at that time.  Because it was not long after I came to this world.

“It’s just amazing to think about you chattering about Whitewood for a long time. Later, I asked in a letter, and Jeremy said you had never been to Whitewood.”

“…….”

“Since then, I knew you were a special girl.”

Whitewood is the name of a remote forest village at the northern end of the kingdom, and is the background for <Prejudice and Pride>, the world’s original novel— now even the content is blurry— of course, that place has no relationship with Melissa Collins.

Watching the sweet churned cream melt over the freshly baked scones made me hungry. I took the scone to my mouth and responded innocently.

“Has grandma ever been to Whitewood?”

At that moment, my great-aunt suddenly stopped moving. With a puzzled look on my face, I stopped my hand and waited for her answer.

To my great-aunt’s response, I deeply regretted my carelessness.

“I lived there all the time until my daughter died of illness.”

“…….”

Why had I completely forgotten that my grandfather took care of Whitewood during his lifetime?

I belatedly recalled the childhood memories when I heard about it from her mother and rejoiced at the thought of being connected, at least vaguely, with the original novel.  Now, I started to focus on my life itself, not on the original novel, but…..

“I’m sorry, grandma.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for.”

A plain answer came back. Unlike her calm expression, her eyes looked sad. she then added:

“The only thing that makes me sad is that my husband and Helen will not recognize me as I am old. Now, the day we meet is really close.”

“…….”

The more we talked, the more different my aunt’s appearance in my memory was. I don’t know if my grandmother has changed over the years or if I have.

The more we talked, the more my great-aunt looked different from the upright figure in my memory.  I don’t know if she has changed over the years, or if I have changed.

Unlike me, who couldn’t find a word to answer, my great-aunt, who was gracefully tilting the tea cup, opened her mouth as soon as she put down the cup.

“I remember you talking about Rose.”

“…Rose?”

That was the name of the female protagonist in <Prejudice and Pride>.  I had even told my great-aunt the story of the protagonist.

“I was neighbors with her family. Helen and I were of the same age, so we were like friends. It’s such a common name that I let it go at first, but when you recited all of her family details and characteristics…….”

“Did I do that?”

“Yeah, thanks to that time, I thought of Helen after a very long time. Your heart for your dead daughter, who was hidden like a taboo, opened wide as you heard the story of Whitewood.”

Grandmother had a sentimental face. It seems to recall a very long time ago.

“Wasn’t I weird?”

“That was weird. I thought it was ridiculous. When asked where he heard of Whitewood and Rose, he answered that he read it from a book.”

At that time, I probably couldn’t accept life here as a full reality and was confused for a long time.

“I… I don’t remember well, auntie.”

“That’s understandable.”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“Maybe you had a dream. There’s no way that a story that exists in reality shouldn’t appear in your dream.”

“…….”

“Even in the eyes of an old woman who is eighty years old, life is full of unknown things.”

“……Isn’t life something you get to know more and more as you live?”

My great-aunt smiled quietly at my devastated question.

“Well, I’ve lived this much, but I haven’t. Rather, everything feels new and unfamiliar…….”

“Grandma.”

I asked half impulsively.

“What happened to Rose?”

“I don’t know.”

But what came back was a futile answer.

“After Helen died of illness at such a young age, I left as if I was running away. Now that my husband has left and I am left alone, I will never go back there. Even if I die.”

“…….”

……Still, she’s been fine so far. Our conversation had become a little serious. I was quietly listening to my great-aunt’s life.

“Women are truly pitiful creatures. Don’t you think so, Melissa?”

I was feeling an unknown sympathy even though I wasn’t sure exactly what my great-aunt meant by those words.

But that wasn’t the case with the following words.

“Especially poor women. Inevitably, they are destined to be unhappy.”

“… Can I ask you why? I’m poor, but I don’t think I’m unhappy.”

“Reason?”

At my bold question, my great-aunt raised the corners of her lips. Of course, her eyes were not smiling.

“A woman always craves love, but a poor woman can never pursue love. That’s why they are bound to be unhappy.”

The only way for a poor woman who is rarely allowed to work to elevate her life is through marriage. When women pursue marriage for such a reason there is usually no love in it. I knew that, too. I heard nagging from my mother about marriage because I’m not a rich woman.

However, despite my young mind, I didn’t want to take my great-aunt’s words to heart right away.

“But I—”

“You’re still young. You’ll understand once you know love.”

“It’s been a year since I came of age too, Grandma.”

When I saw my great-aunt laughing, I felt a little irritated. Childishly.

“Love…Something similar happened with two people.”

“Really? So, what happened to those two loves?”

My great-aunt looked at me as if she could see me clearly. Instead of admitting, “All failed, grandmother,” I just bit my lips tightly. I wanted to prove somehow that the failure of love does not mean failure as a poor woman.

“That’s why your mother is unhappy, too.Doesn’t she stare out of the window all day with blank eyes?”

“That…”

“Well, it’s not easy to endure a harsh life.”

My aunt let out a low sigh. I knew that her relationship with my mother was not very good, but my grandmother’s words did not sound like criticism or ridicule. Rather……

“You shouldn’t trust men, Melissa.”

……However, this was a completely unexpected development. I put down the teacup, doubting my ears, because I didn’t know I would hear this from my great-aunt.

“What?”

“Even if you are successful as a novelist and you are lucky enough to marry the one you love, you must never believe him. They are never a race that can be satisfied with just you.”

“…….”

“Faith only hurts. As you know, me and your mother…….”

My great-aunt stopped talking with a slight cough. However, despite the sudden silence, my head was noisy.

Is my mother’s depression…… Is it not just because my father was embroiled in a scam?

“Yeah, I understand that your mother doesn’t like me, because I’ve been holding my nephew’s hand every moment.  However.”

“…….”

“It’s unfortunate that he joined the army, after living in such pain  she urges her daughter, you, to marry as if you were to be sold…….”

The sound of her grandmother clicking her tongue softly was heard.  I kept her mouth shut, thinking about two things.

First, I think that there are many things that I don’t know at home. My great-aunt seems to believe that I know all the stories, but it was clear that my mother and Mrs. Kerney intentionally hid the truth.

The second thought was that if I were a little younger, I wouldn’t have understood what my grandmother was saying.

I know why my grandfather, who held the title of Viscount during his lifetime, had been separated from his wife for so many years.

But my parents can’t have such a problem. If it wasn’t for the sudden change of my father’s base, the two of them wouldn’t have had to live apart.

Affair, that’s nonsense.

But somehow I couldn’t ask my great-aunt for details. My lips didn’t move as if they were glued together.

……Maybe I just don’t want to face the truth.

“So, even after receiving your letter, I didn’t expect you to come here.”

“…….”

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“When I woke up in the morning, I was so surprised to hear that Jeremy’s daughter really came.”

Suddenly, my great-aunt made a strange voice.

“Okay, what did your mother say?”

A faint sunlight fell on the old lady’s face, where I could feel the texture of time. I came up with an answer without the slightest lie mixed in.

“She asked me to say thank you.”