About Your Pride and My Prejudice

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“What does that mean?”

Those words made my forehead crumple. I can’t believe he is going to revive my will to write by pretending to be a character in a novel. Besides, if someone reads my novel, they’d understand how deep the relationship between Troy and the heroine is.….

“……Did he order that?”

It’s just crazy. Don’t the artists of the Principality know any shame?

“He has ordered the completion of 

“

Again, a formal reply came back, but it didn’t matter anymore. Just sending such a person to me has already been enough of an answer.

This has made it clear that Alan Leopold is trying to drive me crazy.

Upon accepting this fact, strangely, my head went cold.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t mean to go along with that nonsense, Mr. Maurice.”

I had to get up to let him out of the room.

“I’ll talk to Alan Leopold again when he gets back. It’s clear that he is crazy, but at least he hasn’t forgotten the language.”

“You can’t run away.”

Then, he held my hand.

“And it’s the same for me because we’ll be together forever…….”

“……What’s wrong with you?”

To my dismay, he was reciting exactly what Troy said in the novel, with desperate eyes

“Let go…..!” 

Suddenly, he pressed his hot lip on the back of my hand.

“Mr. Maurice!”

I was horrified and tried to wring my hand out, but his grip on my wrist was truly enormous. His green eyes, looking up at me with his head down, were far deep.

“There’s this kind of love…… You…….”

I don’t know how many times he read my novel, but it was definitely the sentences that I wrote. The hands held by him and his hot gaze on my face were unbearable.

“… please stop it.”

“Promise me that you will complete the novel with me.”

He let go of my hand and said. He sounded as if nothing had happened.

“You must know that that is the only liberation.”

“Stop talking. I’m thinking…….”

Now he was about to feel bizarre. The hollow eyes, sunken cheeks, to the muddy green eyes that seemed to have crushed the leaves of grass…….

But what does liberation mean? Does that literally mean leaving here?

It was immediately after that I thought that maybe it had an abstract meaning.

I’ve been writing a lot of stories, but it never went beyond my hobby level. For me,

is the first work that can be called a novel and the first work that gave me meaningful results.

If this work is left unfinished, in a sense I may not be able to escape from Troy and from Alan Leopold forever.

“Mr. Maurice,”

But is the word ‘liberation’ that he said with those eyes really limited to me?

“Please answer me honestly. I’m not asking about your employer.”

Then his green eyes, which I thought wouldn’t reveal any emotions, headed for me. It was as if I could finally see an uncontrollable vortex within.

“Is the completion of this novel related to your well-being?”

“…….”

He looked at me with no answer, and I wasn’t blunt enough to not to know that it was an unspoken affirmation.

“Give me time to think.”

“If you are thinking that you will not finish the novel, I’ll do it over and over again.….”

“Mr. Maurice, a season has already passed since I gave that manuscript from my hands. The feeling that I felt at that time has completely left me, and there’s no way I can continue writing it right away.”

I grabbed a bunch of paper in front of him in a way that would reassure him. A collection of unfamiliar letters that someone has written in a fluent style that doesn’t feel like my story anymore. A story that I wrote with excitement and overwhelming sadness, forgetting even the rising of the sun and the setting of the moon, but now it has lost its direction.

Could the story of Troy and I be completed for my liberation and for something this stranger longs for?

I’d love to if I could.

“I’ll read it again from the beginning. I don’t know if I can regain that feeling……. Is the next visit in two days?”

“That’s right.”

“Then let’s talk again on that day, Mr. Maurice. I really need time.”

After Mr. Maurice stepped down, and watched the maids tidy up the teacups and the teapot, I asked them to leave as soon as the table was clean.

I had mixed feelings as I sat at the reading table with a grim face reading the feast of sentences soaked in Alan Leopold.

I had no idea that I would face this manuscript again as I had never received a separate notice from the Academy that they’d return the manuscript. Rather, I was worried about how I should read this and whether I could read it properly.

“……ha.”

I still couldn’t turn a page and just breathed in and drank tea repeatedly, but I couldn’t stop laughing suddenly. There was A tower of books stacked on one side of the table. The title of a book of poetry placed at the top caught my eye.

<When Love Has Become a Thing of the Past>

“My love has really become a thing of the past.”

* * *

I felt sorry for Mr. Maurice, but I’d rather not read my novel again, no matter how hard I think about it.

It’s just an evil trauma to me, not a precious piece of work anymore. If I read it again, I might become weaker than I’m now and lose my will to leave this place.

Therefore, when he visits me again, I will explain my feelings in polite words and ask for his understanding.

I don’t think Mr Maurice will understand. Poor Melissa Collins caught by his mad master.

To be honest, I am engulfed in my own misfortune right now, and I cannot easily hold any hope.  It would be nice if only this crazy loneliness could be alleviated.

With that thought, I broke the silence.

“Excuse me.”

The young maid, who was diligently cleaning the room behind me, who is sitting at my desk, hurriedly turned to look at me.

“……Yes?”

She appeared to be about the same age as Julia, she seemed a little surprised and scared. On the first day I came here, I was quiet and quiet, but I called myself after I’d jump if I didn’t call Alan.

But I just wanted a little chat.

“A, anything you need—”

“What’s your name?”

“…….”

The little maid rolled her eyes with a frightened face. Are you trained not to answer me?

“It’s all right, I’ll keep it a secret.”

“…….”

The maid clenched her lips and remained motionless. I didn’t expect her to tell me her name.

Well, they never called my name, either. Maybe they don’t know. As soon as I recalled that fact, I realized again how deformed I was being treated here.

Living in a luxurious room, high-class fabrics, luxurious food, and the care of countless maids, but without anyone to talk to. 

While living in Arch Hill, I thought that I liked to spend time alone without being disturbed, but looking back, it was thanks to the blessed weather and nature.  Memories of taking a nap with a book on my face under the shade of a tree, the wind and birdsong with the scent of fragrant grass.

But here I can’t even get out of this detached house. So I don’t even know what the capital of the Principality looks like. I remembered reading the story of Lunoa being beautiful in Tobias’ letter, which has become a memory now, but…….

As I thought that far, I felt an unbearable longing for the past.

“It’s because I’m depressed……. You said it was your job to help me stay comfortable.”

“…….”

I’ve never lived a colorful life among many people. But thanks to the few people around me, I grew up to be someone who took it for granted to show honest feelings, look deeply into each other’s eyes, and talk.

Women who wash my body and brush my hair every night without telling me a name. After leaving my beloved kingdom, all that is left of me is this superficial relationship.

A sudden surge of sorrow surged in me.

“Did Alan order you to do that?”

“……What?”

“Did Alan Leopold tell you not to talk to me?”

“No, that’s…….”

Seeing the maid dilly-dally, it was clear that she was agitated. Maybe it’s sympathy.

“I think I know how he feels. It’s not the first time. In fact, he asked me to dance at the victory dance last year.”

“What? Then, lady…….”

The maid looked as if she couldn’t hide her surprise. Indeed, it is surprising that the main character of the rumour was no one else but such an ordinary woman. Not only that but your master even brought me here.

“Have you heard that he doesn’t usually dance? It became a huge sensation in society that he reached out to an ordinary woman like me first.”

“…….”

“At that time, it was like heaven and a dream, but after the dance, I realized how low the place I was in was. Have you ever traveled between heaven and hell in one night?”

“Uh….”

The maid shook her duster in her hand. She was embarrassed and had strange interest and empathy eyes because he didn’t know why he was talking about this to himself.

“He’s going to ruin me completely with this one. It’s very cruel. Wasn’t it weird from the beginning? The fact that he took me here…….”

“…….”

“He even has a separate lover.”

“To the young master… Oh, my.”

The maid blushed and covered her mouth, and quickly captured her expression.

“If you don’t need anything, I’ll leave.”

“Let me send a letter to the kingdom!”

At my urgent cry, the maid, who turned her body to the door, stopped. I added without missing a beat. If you persuade this young maid with desperation, maybe…….

“That’s what I need most right now. I miss my family and friends. This misfortune will never—”

“There is no one who does not miss family and friends, miss.”

But the answer I got back from the maid was far too preposterous.

“It is the same with us, who left our homeland and came to a foreign country. You just have to endure the life you have been given.”

“That…”

“Even if you appeal to my emotions, you won’t get the results you want.”

The maid, who turned her head gently, looked back at me over her shoulder. All kinds of emotions seemed to be conveyed from the eyes that always seemed insensitive and innocent.

Maybe it’s because I’m just stupid and didn’t notice…….

“Because to us, you only seem like a blessed person.”