About Your Pride and My Prejudice

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The Leopold’s scholarship student whom I encountered in the hallway of the annex warned that it would be better not to know the truth, but I was the one who stopped him and persuaded him to tell me the truth in the end.

So I can’t blame anyone, but I also regret ignoring his warning.

The man was an academy student who was selected as a scholarship student with Tobias and came to the principality. Maybe it was written in the letter Toby sent me.

I didn’t hear the full story. He spoke only a few sentences.

First, the story that Tobias had a loved one…..…. He said that there were no scholarship students who didn’t know that she would come to the Principality soon.

And one day, on the occasion of a friend’s birthday, they all went to have dinner together. During then they witnessed a drunken riot, and Tobias who was trying to stop it, got caught up in a commotion.

The momentum caused him to fall terribly out of the window…… Apparently, it was one of the most famous restaurants in Lunos. Moreover, the restaurant is a three-story building, and below is a busy boulevard where large and small wagons run all year round….….

When I heard this, I asked Toby’s colleague not to say any more. It would be funny if I beg him to tell me the details.

The man ended his speech by emphasizing to me over and over again, ‘Please pretend you don’t know this story because it’s kept secret.’

When I cautiously asked if the accident had anything to do with Alan, he didn’t answer, but I saw the fear in his eyes before turning around.

I turned around and went back to the room, not the dining hall. Sandra felt that my expression was unusual, so she didn’t say anything, and thanks to that, I was able to walk quietly. 

Biting my lips painfully over and over again, it was as if I was rebuking myself for completely forgetting poor Tobias, who had to turn his back on his dreams and return to his hometown due to a terrible accident.

In the meantime, I only prayed that the accident did not result from the cunning Alan Leopold. Even though I saw the man visibly agitated when Alan’s name came out.

It was natural that I felt unbearably disgusted by myself. In Alan Leopold’s house I was enjoying the luxury of drinking, eating, kissing and being mistaken for his woman, and hiding my determination to shake him off in the depths of my heart…….

I no longer have the right to shout that it isn’t my intention to stay here.

Outside the annex, it was the capital of a strange country where things I did not know happened every moment, and I did not have the courage to leave this place and live as a person. 

Even though it was my dream of studying abroad, the thought of going to a private academy alone was terrifying. To the point where I want to use the word that the academy is not a very good facility as a shield.

It was all because of my weakness, and it had to be.

It wasn’t difficult at all to imagine myself willingly giving my ankle to Alan Leopold’s shackles. So I was afraid. The greed of not wanting to leave Alan doesn’t exist in me. Hence, if I didn’t believe that, I couldn’t stand this divergence.

I know for sure that Alan Leopold is a man who can simply fabricate any evil scheme, even if the cozy, sweet reality keeps covering my eyes.

He is the heir to Leopold, who has enormous wealth and power, so he can handle a man without getting his fingertips dirty. With his usual elegance.

So don’t forget, Melissa.

In fact, he warned me in a letter to keep my distance from Toby, and when the warning was ignored, he took Tobias to Lunoa under the pretext of a sudden selection of scholarships.

Even at this moment, I felt pathetic for myself in believing that the accident was not directed by Alan, and wanted to scream.

Please, don’t love him again like this. Don’t forget what he did. Don’t miss the warmth and touch of his lips. Please fight against that feeling…….

I had to spend a complicated day with all sorts of thoughts that I couldn’t organize or define. With such a loud mind, it was impossible to read a book, let alone write the novel.

I sat in front of the table and held my pen because I thought I would calm down if I wrote in my diary, but I decided to quit that as well. All I can write on today’s dated page is a feverish appreciation of the first kiss that seemed like a dream, and how terrible the accident that hit Tobias Miller was.

I don’t want to record anything. It was a miserable feeling.

I asked Sandra to throw away the freesia in the vase. Sandra opened her eyes like that and begged me not to throw away the flowers because they were innocent. At those words, I felt helplessly distressed.

“Then put it away from my sight. You can put it anywhere.”

“Yes, lady…….”

That night, I had a dream after a long time. It was a dream of being chased by a tall, beautiful body with red hair flying over a pure white mask.

What happens when he catches me? I don’t remember, but it was probably death, or a terrible thing comparable to that.

I ran for my life in the deep darkness. The pain as if my lungs were being ripped apart by tens of thousands of blades was more vivid than reality. The inside of my throat tastes like fishy blood.

I ran and ran until my increasingly rough breathing became a scream, as if I were about to die. It was a fear I never wanted to remember again.

* * *

It was the first time in years that Alan visited her house. Monica couldn’t hide her surprise and joy.

“Alan!”

He stood in front of the gate with his back to the setting sun.  He had beautiful black hair that seemed to melt into the night sky and the neat clothes of the same color were also tinged with subtle redness. The picturesque appearance filled Monica’s heart.

If I could see this scene every morning and evening.  

That was her only wish.

Standing in the breeze of a summer evening, looking colder than winter, Alan Leopold looked as indifferent as a doll made of pure white snow.

“Welcome……”

Fearing that he would vanish even though he was right in front of her, Monica hurriedly ran into his arms. His chest smelled the same as hers. At that fact, she felt a relief like heaven.

“Let go, Monica.”

With great ease, Alan pulled her off and walked into the mansion, passing by the long row of bowed servants. An uneasy feeling flashed through her blue eyes looking at his back, but she followed Alan inside, quickly correcting her expression.

Alan, who reached the parlour under the guidance of the maid, buried himself deep on a dark blue sofa. Almost at the same time, a servant who ran at an urgent pace knelt beside him, cut off the cigar and lit it.

Monica, who followed him, with her beautiful braid of bright red hair draped over one of her shoulders, brushed her dark green dress. Then she sat opposite him with an elegant figure as if petals were falling.

“Are you going to sleep? Shall we start with dinner?”

She looks so seductive that even the flowers would bow down. Nevertheless, her earnest eyes were constantly gazing at the beautiful fingers that held the cigar and the red lips that let out the misty smoke.

He brought up another subject, without answering her.

“Did you come to my mansion?”

“Alan, I—”

“Why are you testing the limits?”

Alan wrinkled his eyebrows irritably and took a drag on the cigar. His flawless, sunken cheeks were in perfect shape as he sucked on the cigar. 

The scene was extremely beautiful. Monica continued, trying hard to hold back that she wanted to take his lips there at any moment.

“…… Are you here to talk about that?”

“You’re saying the obvious.”

“Ha… Did that woman tell you? How am I supposed to accept that she’s the reason you came to my house for the first time in years?”

“Don’t accept it. Just listen.”

Monica bit her lips at his indifferent tone, as if he was dealing with troublesome work. The only consolation was the fact that Alan didn’t look angry.

Of course, Alan can’t be upset because of a stranger. Maybe I didn’t warn her properly.

She had been wanting to do the same to Brigadier General Riemann’s daughter, who flirted with Alan but she controlled herself. Her stomach was already boiling, and she didn’t have the patience to have mercy on the same woman who lived in Alan’s detached house.

If it’s unfair, she should blame her position.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to her? It’s strange that I don’t know the woman who came to the Principality with you, what kind of relationship we are.”

“It’s a family.”

Alan replied immediately in a dry voice. 

Family, I don’t think there’s a word more disgusting than that.

“Family…”

Monica, on the other hand, felt her reason cut off. He’s drawing a line now. He came to her on his own feet, and he was speaking in a cold voice because of another woman. The reality drove her to the brink.

“……yes, I’ll do whatever you want.”

Alan looked at Monica, who was not denying for some reason, and his bright red lips opened.

“My friend, my mother, my one and only lover…… I can do anything for you.”

“…….”

“You know I’m the only one who can understand and hug you, Alan…….”

Monica’s lips quivered pitifully as if she were about to cry. Until she heard Alan’s answer.

“No, there’s someone else like that.”

“What? Who is that?….”

“You just scratched her.”

Monica’s eyes were filled with astonishment at the words.

What did I just hear?

“Correct your habit, Monica. If you don’t want to be hurt.”

“What…?”

“I can do more. Curious?”

At the eerie, threatening warning, Monica felt a distant pain. 

Did Alan ever talk to like me this? Even with a knife stuck in my heart, I thought I would be ecstatic if it were this man……….

“What are you talking about? I’m—”

“You lie without blinking your eyes. As expected, blood can’t be fooled.”

Alan put down his cigar on the crystal ashtray and laughed in a low voice.

“S-she’s the only one who understands you? You know it doesn’t make sense, right? She doesn’t know anything, Alan…….”

“That’s all I have to say.”

Monica looked up at him, who lifted his body up. Tears like jewels were forming in her eyes.

“You said you won’t love (anyone).”

“…….”

“Why are you hurting me so much? Just because of a woman like that…….”

“Ha—Love?”

Alan sneered coldly.

“How could you say it’s something as insignificant as love?”

“…….”

He left without looking back. All that was left in the silence of the drawing room was the thin smoke and the woman.

“That’s what the world…..”

…Calls love, Alan.

The words that she couldn’t say became tears and flowed down her cheeks.

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T/N: he is saying how can she say something so insignificant as love (he’s saying that he is not in love) but she realises that he has actually fallen in love with Melissa. It hurts when you are the first one to realise that your crush has fallen in love with someone else but he hasn’t realised it yet.